From fear through the eyes of madness
by Mignon19001
Summary: After a horrible accident, Sheldon finds himself someone's guardian. Will the events that occur eight years later lead to the humanization of the apparent 'robotic' Physicist? Dark Fanfiction so heed warning. Penny/Sheldon pairing. Chapter twenty-eight is now up : Along with a name change, So i hope you are able to find it!
1. There goes my life

**(This is my first fanfiction in like six years so forgive me if I'm a little rusty. The story starts in season one as a flashback and will flash forward seven years. This is a fixed and updated version of chapter one. I added a bit on to this one. I will be doing the same with each chapter going onward. There may also be some extra chapters in between so pay attention! ****I own nothing, well except Haley )**

**Chapter One: There goes my life **

_All he could think about was I'm too young for this._  
><em>Got my whole life ahead.<em>  
><em>Hell I'm just a kid myself.<em>  
><em>How'm I gonna raise one.<em>  
><em>All he could see were his dreams goin' up in smoke.<em>  
><em>So much for ditchin' this town and hangin' out on the coast.<em>  
><em>Oh well, those plans are long gone.<em>  
><em>And he said,<em>  
><em>There goes my life.<em>  
><em>There goes my future, my everything.<em>  
><em>Might as well kiss it all good-bye.<em>  
><em>There goes my life.<em>

_~ Kenny Chesney_

_February 27th_

They were in the middle of Halo night when Sheldon got the call. "Good lord, who could that possibly be. It's Halo night. Everyone knows not to disturb me on Halo night." He said in an annoyed voice.

"Maybe it's your home planet saying they want you back." Leonard answered with a roll of his eyes, as Raj and Howard laughed. Sheldon glared at him and answered the phone.

"Sheldon...it's Missy."

With that Sheldon was automatically agitated. "Missy, It's Halo night, " He began, but was cut off.

"Shelly, there's been an accident, momma and grandma didnt make it..."

It took a second for Sheldon to realize what was being said and by that point his sister was crying.

"I...wha...what happened?" He managed to say. This made the others stop talking and stare at him. Never have they known Dr. Sheldon Cooper to ever stutter.

"Some drunk driver drove in front of them. Mom and Grandma were in the front...it was demolished." She sobbed " Haley has a couple bruises and a broken rib, but other than that she's alright, thank the lord." Missy was referring to their five year old sister. The "Pleasant surprise", as Mary Cooper called her.

"Yes. The front seats lessoned the impact I suppose." His voice was low and incoherent to the others. After he hung up the phone telling his sister he'd be on the first flight out he placed it on the table and quietly went to his room, shutting the door behind him. Raj looked at Leonard "What the hell was that about?"

"I don't know but it doesn't sound good." Leonard set his controller down on the table and rose from his seat, heading towards Sheldon's room. He knocked a few times, but no answer. When he finally opened the door he saw Sheldon packing a suitcase "Hey…buddy, you alright?"

Sheldon looked up "Leonard, your in my room..." There was something different about his voice though. He could hear that he was trying to restrain himself from crying.

"You Ok? Your acting, well, your not acting like the whackadoodle we all know."

"My mom and Meemaw died..." He choked, hands shaking as he folded one of his many Flash T shirts into the suitcase "I have to go to Texas for the funeral,"

Leonard was in a state of shock for a moment. Mary Cooper was an amazing woman, despite being overly religious, and Sheldon absolutely adored his grandmother. He couldn't possible imagine how Sheldon felt losing the two most important people in his life. "Do you want one of us to go with you? You can't do this alone..."

Sheldon just shook his head " I'll...I'll be fine."

Leonard just nodded "Well if you need anything, we're here for you." He gave him an awkward pat on the back and walked back into the living room.

"So what's wrong with the robot? Malfunction?" Howard smirked but his smiled faded when he saw Leonard's saddened look.

"Sheldon's mom and Grandma died..."

Raj and Howard just looked at each other and then back to Leonard "That's horrible, is he going to be ok?" Raj asked sadly.

"I don't know, he's not being Sheldony."

"His mom and Grandma just died, of course he's not alright. Don't get me wrong i hate my mom, but if she died, I'd be lost."

Raj snorted "Yeah right dude, you know damn well you'd be at that bank getting that house put in your name..."

"Well yeah, but I'd still be sad!"

"He doesn't want anyone to go with him. I think he just needs his space."

0000

Two days later, Sheldon found himself at his childhood home, surrounded by family members he went to great lengths to avoid. Mostly it was cousins who picked on him growing up, aunts and uncles who criticized him, and his siblings who thought he was a freak. The only one he didn't have a terrible past with was his five year old sister who colored quietly at the kitchen table. He was keen on noticing how much she was aware of the situation despite her young age. "Perhaps, she will have a higher intelligence than the rest of this family. She is my sister after all, same genetic makeup basically. It is a definite possibility." He thought to himself.

He walked over to the table and sat down across from her.

"Hi Sheldon" The strawberry blonde child spoke without looking up from her coloring book.

"Hello Haley" He said awkwardly. At that moment, the oldest Cooper son walked over to them.

"Hey, How's my Rocket Scientist little bro been?"

Haley rolled her eyes "He's a Theoretical Physicist George." Before Sheldon could protest, he stopped at looked at Haley "Remarkable, a four year old knows more about my work than my thirty year old brother." He thought.

"Oh, nothing new, or anything you could possibly understand."

"Still a wacko i see" He muttered and went off. Sheldon stared as his child sister for a few moments before speaking "Not seeing you in two years, you bear a remarkable resemblance to Meemaw."

"I know, everyone tells me I look just like she did when she was a little girl."

"Haley Marie!" Missy bellowed. Sheldon looked to see his twin coming towards them. She looked haggard and disheveled, obviously annoyed and over exhausted. "I asked you an hour ago to get that damn dress on. We got to get to the funeral home." The girl slid off the chair and disappeared up the stairs. To Sheldon's annoyance, Missy took Haley's place at the table. "She's so damned stubborn, like you."

"I'm not stubborn. I can not help it i just so happen to be right most of them time."

Missy glared at him "Do you even care that Mom and Grandma just died, because you don't seem to be sad in the least."

"Of course i am" He snapped. Truth be told he cried a lot the past two days in the solitude of his childhood room.

"Sometimes I wonder if you really are some kind of human robot." She sighed, getting up. "After the funeral we got to read momma's will..." With that she left him alone in his

thoughts.

0000

The funeral procession was a blur. Two coffins, side by side; lowered to the ground next to the plot where his father lay. Everyone around him was sobbing, except Haley. She stood there like a stoic next to George, her tiny hands balled into fists. He couldn't even hear the preacher above his fleeting thoughts. For the first time in his life he felt like he was loosing grip. The only advantage he had to keep face was his ability to keep his emotions in check. Being a Homo Novus he believed he was above such emotions. He would be wrong.

0000

"You've got to be shitting me!" Missy spat, as she read their mothers will. It was night time and everyone had departed with the exception of the four Cooper children. Sheldon rolled his eyes "Oh what is it now? Didn't get the truck?"

"Don't be a smartass Shelly. I was just reading over the part where Momma names who is to raise Haley...It's got to be a mistake."

"Well who the hell is it? You? Aunt Margaret?" George asked.

"Neither...she...she picked Shelly."

At the sound of that Sheldon looked at her "Excuse me? She chose me to raise our five year old sister?" He couldn't believe this. How could a five year old possibly fit into the routine he has been doing for years.

"Don't worry Shelly. George and I will figure out which one of us will take her. Lord knows you couldn't raise a little girl."

For some reason that stung him slightly. He didn't think either of them were fit to raise Haley either. With Missy struggling in her dead end job, and George's obvious alcoholism, he could see why their mother picked him. "I'll take her." he said suddenly, making his brother and sister look at him like he was crazy.

"Your joking right?" Missy blurted out.

"I do not joke. I will take Haley back to Pasadena with me."

"Shelly, I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but you can't stand germs or human contact of any kind. Children get sick and need affection all the time..." She started, but he cut her off.

" I am aware of this." He was very aware and it freaked him out to no end.

"But it is what our mother wanted. I suppose I will have to learn to adapt." he said painfully.

"You think you can do it? Fine. Then you go upstairs and tell her. Tell her your going to be taking her away from everything she knows.." George said crossing his arms over his chest. He knew his younger brother was extremely odd and awkward in all forms of social contact, so he assumed he'd back down from the challenge.

Sheldon got up from his spot and headed up the stairs, leaving his brother and sister dumbfounded.

He walked into Haley's room to find her upright in her bed reading _'Curious George'_. The pages were wet with her tears. She was crying and already he wanted to flee the room. He forced himself to stay, about to knock when her head shot up and she looked at him. He walked over to the bed and sat at the end. "Haley, I was sent up here to inform you of...the arrangements mother had requested in her will."

Haley said nothing, she just stared at him, but he could tell she understood. "It seems mom has chosen me to be your legal guardian. If you do not wish for this, then I will understand."

"Can I bring my toys?" She asked, those big blue eyes staring at him.

"I will make arrangements to have all your belongings shipped to Pasadena."

The child nodded, and there was silence for a few moments before Haley started sobbing loudly.

_She's crying. Good Lord what do I do? _He said to himself. He scooted closer to her and slowly extended his arms out to her. When she crawled onto his lap like little kids do, he stiffened for a moment , and slowly wrapped his arms around his baby sister. "Um, there there." he stammered.

"Why did they have to die?" She cried.

For the first time in his life he didn't have an answer "I don't know." He decided that it might be best to change the subject. "I loved to read that book when I was little…"

"I know, this was yours…" Haley picked the book up and handed it to him.

"Well I have no use for a children's book…" He said more to himself then anything. "Do you like Curious George?"

Haley nodded "Yes, it's interesting…but I like Alice's Adventures in Wonderland more…"

"But there is nothing correct about that book, it makes no sense…" He frowned at the thought, "Alice in Wonderland is so…illogical."

"What is sense anyways or logic? There is no mystery or danger…or wonder in sense and logic…"

"That's the point…it's safe and always correct…"

Haley shook her head "What a sad way to live…" She crawled out of his lap and rested her head back on her pillow.

"Can you read to me?"

"Oh, I don't think…" He began to decline, but she looked up at him with those big blue eyes "But momma used to read to me every night…."

"Well I wouldn't want to break your routine…" He sat up against the headboard beside her and opened the book, beginning to read.

0000

Leonard woke up to a text message at five in the morning. He looked and seen it was from Sheldon:

"_Clear out the spare room. I have a stash of money inside my Green Lantern. I need you to purchase a twin bed. Ask Penny to accompany you, and have her decide what is appropriate room decor for a female child. ~ Dr Sheldon Cooper " _

"What the hell?" was all Leonard could say. He got up out of bed and walked over to Penny's apartment.

Penny answered the door, looking like she might knock someone out "Leonard, it's five in the damn morning!"

"I think Sheldon's lost it."

"Is he ok?" She asked, suddenly not angry any more. When she found out about Sheldon's mom and grandma, she cried and felt horrible that Sheldon had left before she could tell him how sorry she was.

Leonard gave her the phone and she read the text message "The hell is this?"

"That's my thoughts exactly..."

"Well, whatever he wants, let's just do. He'll be back tomorrow."

"Ok, but why would he want the spare room to be converted into a child's bedroom?"

"No clue. Just do it."

0000

That day they went all around town getting the items on Sheldon's ridiculous list. Howard and Raj helped out with moving the junk out of their spare room. The next night they sat around all day, resting from the strenuous work they did the previous day. They all were up till four in the morning painting the room pink and moving everything in.

They sat there watching Star Trek quietly; all of them keeping track of the time, knowing Sheldon was being picked up by Penny at 9:30.

At ten they heard the key in the door. Instantly perking up they saw Sheldon come in with arms full of baggage. Penny came in after him, carrying a heap of something. It took Leonard a second to realize it was a sleeping child.

"Hey...buddy. Is that a kid?" Howard asked, looking at Penny.

"Yes Howard, it is a child. My sister Haley. My mom decided before she died that i was the most suitable choice for being her guardian in the event anything happened to her."

"Your Mom decided _you _were the best choice?" He shook his head "Poor little girl..."

"Shut up Howard!" Penny snapped. Sheldon set down the bags and walked over to his spot sitting down. Leonard could tell he was drained from everything, so he didn't press with the questions.

Raj moved over so Penny could sit on the couch with Haley. "She's so friggin adorable Sheldon!" She gushed, "Look at her hair! I'd kill to have curls like that!"

"She looks like Meemaw." He said quietly.

"You sure you are ok with this?" Leonard asked, just taking this all in at this point.

"Yes. I know it will alter my routine slightly, but I couldn't let George or Missy take her. She's already much smarter than them. She could have the potential to be a genius like me, that and I am the most financially stable of my siblings."

Haley stirred in Penny's lap and stared at the strange group of people surrounding her. Raj looked over at her and waved, while Leonard got up from his chair and walked over to Penny, kneeling down in front of the two. "Hey Haley. I'm Leonard, this is Raj, and that's Howard. It's nice to meet you" he smiled warmly at the little girl, putting her at ease. "Hi" she said with a shy smile.

"And I'm Penny of course." She grinned down at Haley. Penny didn't know how Sheldon was going to manage this, but she already knew she was on board to help.

Haley slid out of Penny's lap and crawled into her brothers'. They all watched for him to freak out, and when he stiffened they waited for it. To their surprise though, all he did was relax and patted her awkwardly on the head.

"I think I am going to head to bed." Sheldon finally spoke after five minutes of his friends staring at him in disbelief that he let anything invade his personal bubble without giving a strike. He stood up with Haley in his arms and turned to them "I assume Haley's room is in order?"

"Yeah, we finished it last night." Leonard answered, not believing that Sheldon Cooper, of all people got chosen to take care of a five year old.

"Alright. Well I must get Haley to bed then. It is too late for her to be up." and with that he disappeared down the hall with a once again sleeping Haley in tow.

"This is going to be interesting..." Howard mused. He didn't know then how right he was.


	2. Time consumer

**(This is an edited updated version of chapter two! If you have read this story before, please breeze through the first five chapters to see the corrections with times, years and ages that I have made in order to correlate more with one another. The first few chapters will be just like this, but starting after chapter four or five I will be adding on scenes to the chapters as well as an extra chapter or two! I wish this would have all came into my mind chapters back but it is what it is! Enjoy! ) **

Chapter two: Time consumer

_The young stale memories of, play the role to your part._  
><em>Librarian find me the pole the one that kicks your head in.<em>  
><em>To my own time role your own innocence by.<em>  
><em>Grab on to my sleeve the one that grabs at your ankle.<em>  
><em>Debate to understand that we all have a flaw.<em>  
><em>Then fail to represent your life as you know it.<em>  
><em>God grant you one wish to turn back the time. <em>  
><em>Correct and create, making sense of...<em>

_~Coheed and Cambria_

Eight years later:

It was a Sunday morning. As usual, Sheldon was sitting on the couch watching Dr. Who, eating his cereal. Leonard walked into the living room in his pajama's

"Hey Sheldon" he muttered, slumping into the chair.

"Hello Leonard," He replied, not even paying attention.

"Where's Haley?" He asked.

"I would assume she's still sleeping."

"_Night falls and I'm running in circles, I'm being chased by my imagination. Tell me I'm forgiven say you'll always be mine; say that everything is over, tell me I'm fine. No one deserves to live like this! "_Music blared from the back room.

"I take that back, she's obviously up and attempting to make us deaf," he sighed. A few minutes later, Haley emerges from her room, and shuffles into the living room. Her strawberry blonde hair was streaked with black and blue, much to her brothers' distaste. Sporting guys plaid boxers and a long sleeved black Avenged Sevenfold shirt. The first time she heard "Seize the day" at ten, she had been hooked on hardcore and screamo music.

She glanced at the TV and groaned, as she noticed as it was every Sunday morning; Dr. Who time.

"Sup" She muttered as she dropped on the other side of the couch and laid back.

"Morning Haley." Leonard smirked as he saw Sheldon's annoyance at her improper English.

"Must you listen to that horrendous screeching" Sheldon eyed her.

"Um, the band is called Alesana, and of course. It brings sweet, demented dreams." Sheldon just rolled his eyes and went back to watching Dr. Who.

It wasn't that the siblings didn't get along. They got along perfectly fine. What confused Sheldon was the past three years, and how dark she suddenly had gotten. He had no idea how to react to her. Once a little girl full of emotion, he had only just gotten used to her nature, when suddenly she changed again.

"So, I'm going to the skate park. I'll be back later." She broke the silence.

"Do you have to go there? It is in no way safe or sanitary. One of these days you'll break something…again."

Haley started laughing "Dude, Shelly your not a real skater unless you break something. You know besides an arm, shoulder, foot or collar bone…"

Before he could argue back, she hopped off the couch and headed back to her room to get ready.

"I swear Leonard, I will never understand adolescent females."

"Yeah, I just think its Haley in general." He laughed.

0000

Haley threw on a Senses Fail T shirt over a long sleeved plain black one; a random pair of ripped jeans and her green Converse. She stopped for a minute adjusting her bracelets underneath the shirt, shakily. She was agitated. She knew how she got when she was like this, but she pushed it from her mind. She had to; it wasn't the right time. This time, it would have to wait. She knew that being Sunday, she had three days until Halo night. Something she learned to hate in particular, she knew she had to shrug it off for the time being.

Going to her dresser, she dug in her sock drawer till she found her pack of Marlboro Menthols, and shoved them deep in her back pocket. Grabbing her skateboard, she headed back to the living room to find Penny had joined her brother and Leonard.

"Hey" Penny grinned when she saw her "Headed to the skate park already?"

"Of course. Lexi and Hannah are already there." She paused and then lifted up her pant leg revealing a horrible scrap "Got this one yesterday. You should have been here! Sheldon damn near threw up when he saw the blood. It was pretty epic."

"Sweet dude." Penny said, using Haley's language. Sheldon just scowled "It was not in any way funny."

"Uh, Yeah, I think it was." Leonard taunted. After seven years Haley really grew on them all. They all saw Haley as their little sister, and just loved how she would give Sheldon crap all the time.

Haley just smirked at her brother and headed out the door.

"That child just loves attempting to give me a heart attack." Sheldon sighed, getting up to go and wash out his cereal bowl.

"She's a teenager. That's what she's supposed to do!" Penny rolled her eyes. "Hey, at least she's not like me when I was her age. I used to steal my dads booze and run around with older guys…" she stopped when she saw Sheldon's disapproving look. "Haley is definitely not like that."

"Who said I was worried? It just came to mind that perhaps that's where your 'problem' with alcohol stemmed from…"

Penny glared at him "Keep talking Moon pie, I will go junior rodeo on you…" she paused "better yet, I'll just have your little sister kick your ass."

"She cannot kick my ass." Sheldon interjected, sporting his own glare. "And only Meemaw called me Moonpie."

"Actually Sheldon, she can get you on the floor pretty quickly. Remember that one time when she was seven?" Leonard turned around grinning at him. Sheldon just let out a sarcastic gasp of a laugh and sat down at his computer, ignoring them for the rest of the morning.

0000

Haley reached into her back pocket and grabbed her Marlboro's out as she slowly walked down the stairs. Pulling one out, she lit it and took a large puff, holding it in for a few seconds to get that nicotine rush she loved. "Oh, Menthols how I love thee." She said to herself as she exhaled. She hopped down the last couple of stairs and quickly turned the corner, crashing right into Raj.

Getting suddenly knocked onto the floor, Raj let out a cuss and looked up to see it was Haley.

"Shit." He heard her mutter. She must not have realized it was him at first. "Hey…Raj…" She drew out the sentence; cigarette still dangling from her lips.

"It's alright." He said, standing up and brushing himself off. When he saw the cigarette he frowned "Haley, what the hell are you doing? Get that damn thing out of your mouth!"

"Um, I've kind of been smoking since I was eleven…surprise!"

"If your brother ever found out, he'd be super pissed."

"Well he won't if he doesn't know." She gave him an innocent little smile. Raj just shook his head "No, no! Not another secret! I don't like lying about this stuff! It's wrong; your thirteen. You shouldn't be smoking …or drinking for that matter. I'm very disappointed…"

Haley stepped forward and hugged him "Please please Raj! You didn't say anything about that picture on facebook, And I kept to my word! Promise!"

Raj winced, thinking back to a few weeks ago when he just so happened to check his facebook for the first time in months and saw a tagged picture of Haley drinking a bottle of UV Vodka, with a few of her friends. Haley of course meant to hide the photo from her brother and his friends, but it was a minor slip up she quickly fixed.

"Well you said it was a joke. So I guess there was no harm in it, but smoking is different!" He exclaimed. For some reason he was able to carry on a full conversation with Haley, despite her being female. They had come to the conclusion that it was due to the fact that he knew her since she was little and was practically a little sister to her as well.

Haley took a puff of the cigarette and sat down on the stairs "Look…its just something that…calms me down. I need it."

"Calm you down from what? Pre Algebra?"

Haley sighed, and then just smiled and nodded "Sure. Exactly."

"I don't know…" Raj began, but Haley already knew she had won. She hopped up and snatched up the skateboard "Thanks Raj, your awesome!" and with that she left.

Raj sighed "Why me?"

0000

Most of the time she wished she could turn back time, or at least find a good enough drug or drink to completely block it out. Especially these past four months. Being up since the last afternoon, Haley was running on empty. Her tricks were sloppy; she couldn't concentrate, and after her last fall that tore open the wounds on her knees, she decided to call it a day.

"Damn Haley, fall much?" Hannah asked, parking a seat next to her.

"Nah, you know, just not my day." she laughed.

"Well hey if you wanna wait a while, Aaron is picking me up. You know he'll always give you a ride if you need it. "

At the name Haley stiffened. "I think I'm cool, but thanks." She stammered.

"Our parents are making him do chores and pretty much be my personal chauffer. He's been such a bum since he left college to move back home back in December… I mean your brother was a doctor by sixteen, Aaron is almost twenty-three and nothing but a mama's boy...who loves living off his parents"

"You guys are friggin rich, I mean it's not like it's hurting you financially…"

"Still…you sure you don't want a ride?"

"I think I'm just going to walk…" Haley said, cutting her off from further conversation. Hannah just shrugged "Suit yourself."

0000

Her head was pounding as she made her way up the stairs, feeling a full blown panic attack coming on. _'Keep cool Haley' _She yelled to herself. It was just about four and a half years since the nightmare first began, three years dealing with the pain and disgust, for two years it went away and she thought it was over. A year trying to keep herself from going insane; the disguise, that everything was fine. A child's mind is a beautiful, innocent thing. Sometimes though, an event can occur, fragmenting that mind, turning it into one long psychological nightmare.

Haley reached the door and stood there for a moment, listening to the yells and shouts coming from within.

'_Sounds like it's a Star Wars Old Republic marathon for the new expansion.' _She thought to herself, as she opened the door and walked in to see Sheldon, Leonard, Howard and Raj scattered around the living room on their laptops.

Leonard glanced up from the screen and immediately paused his character "Jesus Haley, what the hell happened to you?" He looked down at her jeans that had fresh blood stains, and new rips on the knees.

"Just took a couple falls, its all good." She said calmly _'Just got to get to my room' _Her mind kept repeating.

Sheldon looked up and saw how roughed up his sister was. He winced at the sight of the blood but took a deep breath. He paused his own character and set down his laptop, standing up. "Bathroom, Now!" He ordered.

"Aw come on Shelly, I'm fine!" She groaned. Her brother was such a germophobe, and every time she got hurt he always had to make sure she wasn't going to catch something from the gravel. "I just want to go to bed." She whined. _'I can't breathe. I have to get out of here. Away from here, or I'm going to snap.' _The voice screamed inside her head.

Sheldon shook his head "Haley, you know how many germs and bacteria are outside. An open wound could expose you to almost anything." He replied sternly. She knew it wasn't an option.

'_Oh, I'm aware of open wounds and infections.' _She thought morbidly, her left hand instinctively pulling down on the sleeve of her right arm over the finger tips. Haley threw her skateboard against the wall and followed Sheldon, stomping her feet the whole way.

"I know it's been like eight years, but its still really weird to see Sheldon acting like a overprotective parent." Howard shook his head.

"If he could keep her in a bubble he would." Leonard mused.

"Maybe that would be best. " Raj added, and when the other two looked at him, he just shrugged absent mindedly and went back to the game.

"Well at least he didn't pass out this time." Leonard joked. He had noticed a whiff of cigarette smoke in the air and he glanced back towards the bathroom and furrowed his brow. "Weird.." He muttered then went back to the game.

Haley rolled her eyes as Sheldon made her sit on the toilet and roll up her pant legs.

"I just don't understand how anyone could find bodily harm "fun". He said sternly as he began applying rubbing alcohol to her wounds. He flinched at the blood and gore, but noticed that Haley didn't even bat an eyelash.

"You can not tell me that, that does not hurt in any way." He looked at her.

"Pain is only a pulse if you just stop feeling it." came the reply.

"What insane person wrote _that?"_

"Coheed and Cambria…it's true though. I mean you, you've always been afraid of pain. Lots of people are I guess. Some people though…they have to learn to shut it off."

"If only that were possible, but it is not. I'd probably be Batman if it could be so…"

"Try me."

Sheldon looked at his sister square in the eyes. Something he never did often and saw something he couldn't put his finger on. She baffled and confused him. It was like a complex puzzle he tried to solve. Just when he thought he had it almost figured out, he discovered pieces were missing. _'Was she being sarcastic?' _he thought to himself. It did indeed sound like a sarcastic remark to him, but her eyes told a different story. Her eyes were dead serious.

"Let's see if you have any scraps on your arms." He said reaching down gently, taking a hold of her right hand. Haley jumped and pulled her arm away. "No! It was just my knees. Honest."

Sheldon looked at her confused . _'Why did she jump away like that? Curious…Perhaps it's a teenage girl oddity. I really need to research more into all of this.' _

"Alright. Let me just put some bandages on you and you can go to your room."

Haley nodded and sat still as he carefully placed two large band-aids on each knee.

"Sheldon…"

He looked up at her "Yes Haley?"

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" He asked, standing up and walking over to the sink to disinfect his hands.

Haley hopped off the toilet "Just…felt like I had to say that." She walked over to him and hugged him around the middle. "Love you! Goodnight!" She then bolted out of the door to her room and shut the door.

Sheldon stared blankly at her bedroom door. _"I love you too, you confusing child." _he thought for a moment and then pushed it out of his mind. He then went to join his friends again.

0000

Haley took a deep breath and sat down on her bed. The tears wanted to flow, but she kept them at bay. _'Remember, you can't speak about it; of it. Like he'll understand. Like any of them will. Why did he have to come back at all. Why didn't he fucking die somewhere!" _Her mind screamed. _"You brought it on yourself. Stop lying to yourself…" _

""Shut up, shut up" She muttered as she got her pajama's on and crawled into her bed. "_Just wait till everyone finds out. They will blame themselves, when its really your fault!" _

"Shut up." She cursed her mind and slipped out of bed, and went to her dresser; rummaging for something till she found it. A full bottle of Seagrams vodka, borrowed from Penny the other day. Haley knew Penny bought bottles of liquor very often, so she assumed that Penny wouldn't notice and just figured that she drunk it one of the nights Amy and Bernadette came over for girls night.

She crawled back into bed and rested herself against the headboard; opening the bottle. Chugging it down to half, she made a slight gagging sound at the taste, but continued to drink. Grabbing for the remote, she turned on music videos and continued to drink herself into a stupor.

"_You think bottles of alcohol will wash away your sins, you filthy girl?" _

"For tonight it will…"

0000

For some odd reason unknown to him, Sheldon wasn't focused on the game as before. Instead he found himself thinking back to those first couple days Haley had been there…

0000

Eight years ago

_It was odd waking up that first morning to her cries of distress. Sheldon bolted up in his bed, minus his normal "Danger, danger!" bit. He slipped out of bed and walked over to the next door bedroom. Haley trashed and kicked in her sleep, letting out these awful cries that made him flinch. _

'_What is the right protocol for this? Hot beverage?" He thought to himself as he stared at her. Taking a few minutes to gather up courage, he walked over to the bed and sat down. He knew how he reacted when someone just shook his awake from a nightmare. He carefully reached out and stroked her hair a few times. The girl bolted upright in the bed looking at him terrified. _

"_Are you alright? You were screaming and trashing about quite violently." He said quietly. _

_Haley shook her head "I'm scared…" _

_Sheldon looked puzzled "Of what?" _

_Leonard knocked on the door twice before coming into the room. He walked over to the other side of the bed and sat down. "Is she alright?" _

"_I'm not sure. She say's no, but she does not seem to be injured." _

_Leonard rolled his eyes and looked at Haley "Did you have a bad dream?" _

_Haley nodded "The car…" _

_Leonard nodded and rubbed her back, trying to get her to calm down. He looked at Sheldon "Flashbacks from the accident." _

"_Oh…" He answered quietly. He looked at how good Leonard was with comforting his little sister. He was confused when he found himself slightly jealous, and a bit useless. This was what Missy had warned him about. He knew he was self centered and arrogant. He believed that he did have the answers for everything, and most of the time had no regards for anyone. Yet, at that moment he wished he could take away his sisters nightmares and memories of the accident. It was a weird and awkward feeling; he knew she needed and depended on him now. Half the time he could barely take care of himself, and now he was in charge of another human life. It scared him shitless. _

"_I think I can handle this Leonard." he said calmly. _

_Leonard looked at him surprised. He knew Sheldon, and knew this was something he has never been able to do correctly. He stood up "Alright. If you need me, I'll be in my room." He looked down at Haley and stroked her hair "Goodnight sweetie, don't worry; your big brother is here to watch over you." _

_Sheldon gulped and watched Leonard exit and close the door. He looked back at Haley, who was still wiping tears from her eyes. He thought for a moment "Would you like some warm milk?" Haley shook her head, her long blonde hair covered her face so he was unable to read her facial expression. He sighed and gently brushed her hair back behind her ears. "I apologize. I am not quite sure what to do in this kind of situation." _

_With that Haley started to cry again. "_What do I do? What did I do?" _His mind was racing "_Get Leonard? Penny? No! You are a genius with an I.Q. of 187, surely you can figure this out_." He decided not to analyze any further. He got up from the bed and picked her up, holding her close to him "Shhh please don't cry." He whispered to her._

_Haley sniffled and rested her head against him. It was then he started singing the first thing that came into his mind that his mom always sung to him when he was sick and scared. "Soft Kitty, Warm kitty, little ball of fur, happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr." _

_It was very uncomfortable at first, but after a few moments it started to feel almost normal to him. After a few rounds of Soft Kitty, he noticed she was fast asleep. He carefully placed her back into her bed and covered her up. He left the room shaky, but with a feeling of accomplishment. When he walked out, Leonard was standing in his bedroom doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. "Not bad." He smirked. _

"_Like you could do any better." He huffed and went back to his room, laying back down. _


	3. All these things I hate

**(This is a updated version of chapter three. Once again I changed a few things to make the story flow even more smoothly and correlate with the later chapters. I will be trying to get these chapters fixed as quickly as possible so I can continue on with the story!)**

**Chapter Three**: All these things I hate (Revolve around me)

_Wear your heart on your sleeve, _

_make things hard to believe, _

_I'm not feeling this situation_

_Run away try to find that safe place you can hide_

_It's the best place to be when you're feeling like..._

_Me... (me!)_

_Yeah... (yeah!)_

_All these things I hate revolve around_

_Me... _

~ _Bullet for my valentine_

The next night Haley found herself in Penny's apartment, with Bernadette and Amy, during one of their 'girls nights'. These nights usually consisted of them drinking, and talking about their love lives, or in Amy's case- lack there of.

"Sometimes I just want him to rip my clothes off and have his way with me." Amy sighed, thinking about her almost non existent physical relationship with Sheldon, who just so happened to be her 'boyfriend' for the past five years.

Haley felt her stomach lurch and she dropped the rest of the sandwich she was eating into the paper takeout bag. " And we're done with the Big Mac…" She muttered. She loved Amy, but she hated hearing about how much she was dying to screw her brother. It was comical to everyone that Sheldon and Amy were in their thirties and still virgins. To her she didn't see a problem with it, in her eyes sex only seemed to fuck people up as she put it time and time again. She knew it was only a matter of time before Amy took the leap and got what she desired, but she knew it wasn't going to be from her brother.

"Amy! Not in front of Haley! She's too young to hear about this stuff!" Bernadette softly scolded, slightly outraged. Amy looked at Haley and said something that even made Penny drop her wine glass "While it is in fact, inappropriate to speak of such things, I get the impression that Haley is more informed of coitus , more so than Sheldon or I."

"She's thirteen!" Penny choked.

Haley was just as shocked, "_what the hell was she implying? "_She thought, but kept a blank expression.

"Haley, am I correct to assume that you have sex education classes in school?" Amy asked her.

"Uh, yeah.."

"And the music videos and bands you listen to are often very sexually explicit in nature. I just assumed that kids now a days are more informed."

"Ok. Change of subject to something that is more AGE Appropriate for Haley!" Penny said, as she picked up her wine glass and set it on the table. Luckily it was empty so there was no mess.

"Oh I know something! " Bernadette piped up. "Ok lets go around and say what we think our theme songs should be if we had one!"

Penny thought it was a dumb idea but she loved Bernadette so she went along with it.

"Sure, why not!" She exclaimed, trying to sound enthused. "Amy, you first."

Amy thought for a moment "Sexual healing. Definitely."

Penny gave her a weird looked "Um, that's nice. Bernadette?"

"Hmm I'm not sure.." She smiled. "Let me think about it."

"It was your idea!" Penny rolled her eyes. "Well mine I would like to think is All- American girl." She looked at Haley and saw she was deep in thought. "Hey Hal, what about you?"

Haley snapped back and looked at Penny. " Animal I have become."

Penny furrowed her brow, she never heard of the song before; then again Haley listened to a different genre than all of them. She noticed the little things about Haley that the other two would miss easily. She could tell she hasn't sleep in days from the lethargic look on her face, and she could tell she was doing some sort of cover up. Something that seemed to have gotten worse over the past few months.

Penny of all people knew this, she used to be just like that. Sheldon and the others may be able to believe her sarcastic behavior and attitude as a typical teenager, but she saw through her. Penny never pressed or pried though, if it were anything bad, she knew Haley would say something. _'Its probably a crush on a boy' _She thought to herself and chuckled.

"I think I'm ready for another glass." Amy slurred.

Haley looked at her and snorted '_What a friggin lightweight'_

Penny laughed and went into the kitchen to rummage for some more wine. "Well crap, I thought I had a bottle of Vodka in here…Guess I must have drunk it. don't remember it though."

'_Fuck!' _Haley thought.

"We should probably call it a night anyways." Bernadette said getting up "I think the boys are probably wrapping up with their Wii boxing tournament."

Amy had also come to the conclusion that it might be best if Bernadette drove her back to her apartment so she said her goodbyes as well and the two left.

Penny fell back on the couch next to Haley and glanced at her "Why so glum chum?" she asked.

"I'm fine." Haley replied.

"Whatever happened to that bubbly little blonde girl who used to laugh and smile all the time"

"She turned into a teenager?" She shrugged her shoulders. She was getting uncomfortable. Penny was asking questions she did not know how to answer.

"I know your brother might not be the best person to talk to when it comes to, well mostly anything besides science and smart stuff, but I want you to know you can always talk to me. I know how it is to be a teenage girl."

'_No, you don't know what this is like. To live with this..' _Haley thought, but she smiled "Thanks Penny, you know I will if I ever need any advice or help" She leaned over and hugged Penny tightly. She then got up "Well I better get back home. Sheldon will be wondering where I am." With that she left, relieved that Penny was oblivious to everything.

When Haley left Penny sat there thinking for a moment before she got up and grabbed her laptop and clicked open her itunes and searched for the song Haley had mention. When she found it, she downloaded it and pressed play.

"_I can't escape this hell, so many times I've tried, but I'm still caged inside. Somebody get me through this nightmare. I can't control myself. So what if you can see the darkest side of me? No one will ever change this animal I have become. Help me believe it's not the real me…"_Penny listened to the whole song, taking in every bit of the lyrics. She glanced at the door, and frowned. Was Haley trying to tell her something?

"_I can't escape myself. So many times I've lied, but there's still rage inside. .."_

She couldn't wrap her mind around it, and it worried her to no end. After the song had finished she shut her laptop ,and had decided that she would do her own investigating.

0000

Haley came home to find her brother standing at his erase board ,working on some theorems. When he heard the door shut he turned around and looked at her. "It's 11 o clock, where were you?"

"Over by Penny's." She answered and sat on the couch grabbing the remote, turning on the TV. Sheldon sighed " You have school in the morning I am sure you are aware."

Haley just nodded and flipped through the channels. "Just not tired. Haven't really been able to sleep."

Sheldon set his marker down and walked over to the couch, sitting down next to her. He reached over and placed the back of his hand to her forehead. Haley groaned "I'm not sick." she muttered.

"Well I thought it was necessary to check. You have been acting peculiar lately. I certainly hope all those falls haven't damaged your brain."

"Falling wasn't the cause of this…" she found herself saying and she stiffened. She cursed herself for letting the words slip from her mouth.

Sheldon looked at her with innocent blue eyes "The cause of what? I am unsure of what you are implying…"

Haley shook her head and got up "Nothing. You know what, I think I am tired. Goodnight" She said quickly and practically ran to her room.

Sheldon watched her disappear and grabbed the remote. " Curious…" He said aloud, and started switching the channels, to find something to watch. He now found himself wide awake.

0000

Haley woke up in a cold sweat at exactly 2 am. She sat upright in her bed and grabbed her head in pain. The memories were overloading her brain and for the umpteenth night in a row she had been unable to stop them. She always woke up in silent screams, at least she thought they were. It wasn't until she heard the series of knocks on her door that she realized everyone in the house had heard her.

_Knock ,knock ,knock _

"Haley"

_Knock knock knock_

"Haley"

_Knock knock knock _

"Haley"

She sunk back into her bed, hoping Sheldon would just go back to his room, but instead he just opened the door and came in. She quickly closed her eyes, pretending to be asleep. That of course didn't stop him from sitting down next to her and nudging her a few times. "Really Haley? Quit playing possum. I know you are awake"

Haley cursed herself and opened her eyes, looking up at him. "Sorry, just had a little nightmare. I'm fine." She sat up.

"You certainly do not look fine. Your perspiring, and you look absolutely terrified…" He said in a low voice. She could tell that he was concerned. "Was it about the accident?" He asked in a now shaky voice. She knew the death of their mother and grandmother was a sore subject for him. It had been years since he even brought it up to her. She felt horrible, making him relive those memories, but she couldn't tell him what was really plaguing her. The death of their mother and grandma was an old wound, but a closed one at that. Telling him the truth would just open Pandora's box and she honestly did not think her man child of a big brother could handle it without completely breaking.

Though, he would never admit it, Haley knew she was everything to him. Being the clone of the Meemaw he loved so much, all the affection he had for her and his mother quickly got transferred to Haley. He was always overprotective of her in his own way. She couldn't let him ever think that he had failed her, so she did the only thing she could; she lied.

"Yeah." She told him what she felt he should hear. She knew very well it wasn't the car accident that plagued her dreams night after night for the past five years, rather a series of events and moments that changed everything she was. The roles became reversed, and she found herself the adult, shielding her child like brother from the horrors of reality. A puppet master, she pulled the strings in the direction she wanted him to go in; far away from the truth as possible. She knew it was a secret that no one should ever keep, and yet she managed for five long years. The internal destruction was becoming external and she did everything she could to keep it from everyone. She knew one day she would completely snap…she just didn't know when.

Sheldon leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her in an embrace " I miss them too.." He said quietly.

Haley hugged him back and buried her face against him. "Do you ever regret agreeing to take me like mom wanted?" She asked.

He looked down at her, not believing how any sister of his could ask such an idiotic question. "Of course I don't. You very well couldn't be raised by Missy…or George of all people. You are far too advanced for them, despite the fact that you purposely neglect your studies or anything educational for that matter. Something I will never understand."

"If you were able to wander around in my brain for a while, you'd get it…" She quietly spoke as she pulled away from him and laid back down. He was perplexed by her words, and just sat there quietly for a while, stroking her hair until she fell back to sleep. Before he got up to head back to bed, he leaned over and kissed her on top of her head and covered her up.

He knew she had him wrapped around her finger so to speak, but it was definitely something he didn't admit to. Sheldon Cooper hated to admit to weakness in any form. His little sister was his kryptonite and he knew it. It didn't occur to him at first until he noticed that he would never correct people when they would constantly tell him how adorable his daughter was. He sat in his bed pondering on the past, and when he first realized exactly how important she was to him.

0000

Seven and a half years ago

_It was six months since the accident and Sheldon found himself slowly starting to recover. He was back to the normal self centered whack a doodle that everyone knew. Haley took to Leonard, Raj, and Howard quickly, as they took it upon themselves to try and make her childhood as normal as possible. While Sheldon refrained from outdoor life for the most part, it was the guys who would take her to parks and playgrounds. He got annoyed when they would bring her back full of mud and hyped up on sugar, but he didn't object. He knew he should be trying to adapt, but he was so set in his ways, not to mention stubborn that he constantly kept avoiding it. _

_He had just gotten her to bed for the night. In his opinion it was a nightmare doing so. Howard had brought her back from his mothers house. Mrs. Wolowitz fawned over Haley and always baked cookies and other sweets that wound her up like a cuckoo clock. _

_Sheldon was asleep for about two hours before he felt something tugging at his pajama shirt. He bolted upright in the bed "Danger, danger!" He looked around the room till he looked down and set his eyes on Haley. He was going to scold her, but then he noticed that she didn't look herself. She was a ghostly white and her curls were damp and matted in sweat. 'Oh dear Lord she's sick!' he panicked. Sheldon never stood within ten feet of anyone that was sick in fear he would catch it himself. "I don't feel good." She whined. _

"_Alright.." He said sitting up and slipped out of the bed. "Don't worry." He took her by the hand and walked to Leonard's room. He was going to knock, but then he noticed the door was open and Leonard wasn't in his bed. 'Of all the times. He has to be absent NOW?' he thought. He calmed himself down and kneeled down in front of Haley, cautiously putting his hand to her forehead. She was burning up, he glanced in her room and noticed that she had also gotten sick. He tried not to vomit himself at the sight of it, so he simply shut the bedroom door. Haley stood there shaking, he knew she was really sick. ' I have to get her to the hospital..' He reached down and picked her up. The way she hung limply in his arms frightened him. He wasn't trained in these sort of situations so he did the only thing he could think of. _

_Knock knock knock_

"_Penny!" _

_Knock knock knock_

"_Penny!" _

_Knock knock knock _

"_PENNY!" _

_A few seconds later Penny answered the door with a look that she might choke him. "It's three in the damn morning Sheldon!" _

"_I know and I deeply apologize. I just didn't know what to do. Haley is very sick, and Leonard is not home…" _

_Penny looked at Haley and immediately her anger vanished "Oh my God, ok, let me get my clothes on." She then rushed off to get ready. Sheldon looked down at Haley "There, there. We are going to take you to the doctor." Worry consumed him when Haley didn't answer him back. "Please please…be alright.." He choked. _

0000

_A few hours later Sheldon and Penny found themselves still in the emergency room. Haley lay in a bed, hooked up to an IV, and a heart monitor. It wasn't anything serious. She had the flu and was very dehydrated; the IV was to help with that issue. Penny was fast asleep in a chair, snoring. Sheldon, though exhausted, was unable to sleep. Surprisingly enough it had nothing to do with being in a strange place, a hospital at that. He was afraid to take his eyes off of her, in fear that something would happen. He then heard a knock_

"_Dr. Cooper?" a red headed nurse came into the room. _

"_Yes?" He said._

" _I just came in to let you know, your daughter's electrolytes are back to normal, so we can send her home." _

_He was going to correct the woman, telling her this was his sister, but he didn't. Instead he just nodded "Thank you." _

_Penny woke up after the nurse had left and smirked at Sheldon "Aw, they think she's your daughter!" _

_"I'm not deaf Penny, I know what she said." He scowled._

_"Yeah, but you didn't correct her!" She teased. Sheldon didn't argue back. A few minutes later the nurse came back and unhooked Haley from the machines. Sheldon picked her up and held her close against him. Haley slowly woke and looked around the room "Where are we?" She asked. _

_"You were really ill. We had to go to the hospital. Its alright though, we can go home now." He said quietly. Haley just nodded and dozed off again. _

0000

_When they got home an hour later, it was light outside. Sheldon thanked Penny and declined her offers to come over and help take care of Haley. Leonard of course was still missing in action. He assumed he was engaging in coitus with Leslie Winkle again. He set Haley down on the couch and preceded to clean and sanitize her bedroom. That took almost another hour. He wanted to make sure it was completely free of germs. _

_By the time he was done he was completely worn out. He knew there was no way he would be able to go into work, so he called in. Something he never did, and called the school telling them Haley would not be in attendance. After all that was finished he fetched Haley from off the couch and went to lay her down in her room. He paused at her door, and looked down at her. He didn't want to leave her alone for some reason unknown to him. Instead he went into his room and laid her carefully on his bed. Staring at her for a moment, he remembered something and went to her room, quickly returning with a cabbage patch doll she always slept with and laid it next to her. Sheldon then slipped into the bed carefully and pulled the covers over them, falling asleep within minutes. _


	4. Animal I have become

**( Updated version of chapter four. Added a flashback scene to this chapter. I wanted to go more into depth about what exactly went on when Haley was younger and staying the night by Hannah's house, how she came to know the boy who would break her, so to speak. I'm going to try my very best to get this all done by at least the end of this week.)**

Chapter four : Animal I have become

_So what if you can see the darkest side of me?_  
><em>No one will ever change this animal I have become<em>  
><em>Help me believe it's not the real me<em>  
><em>Somebody help me tame this animal I have become<em>  
><em>Help me believe it's not the real me<em>  
><em>Somebody help me tame this animal<em>

~Three days grace

It was late when Penny finally got off work. When she got into her apartment she fell back onto the couch and looked over at the time. It was 12:32 exactly, she rested her head back and closed her eyes. She wasn't quite ready to change out of her work clothes at that moment. It had been a busy week, with a few auditions and night shifts at the cheesecake factory every day so far. Yet, despite all of that, she managed to keep a close eye on Haley, and tried to figure out what she was up to. For days she came up with nothing, and Penny started to believe that she had been mistaken.

It wasn't till the moment she heard the creaking of her neighbors' door that she got her evidence. She knew that Sheldon and Leonard both worked early in the morning, so she didn't think it could possibly be them. That was when the thought dawned on her. _'Is that Haley?' _She thought, as she quietly got off the couch and went to her door, slowly opening it to peek into the hallway.

Haley was quietly shutting the door behind her, dressed in some jeans and one of her numerous band hoodies. Penny knew she was heading somewhere, and she was sneaking to do so for that matter. Haley glanced around, not noticing the cracked open door and pulled the hood over her head. She then disappeared down the stairs. Penny thought about going to catch up to her, but she decided against it. Instead she walked over to her window and looked out, waiting for Haley to exit the building. She only had to wait a minute or so, the next thing she knew she saw a black camero pull up and recognized Haley's friend Lexi in the passenger seat. Haley walked over to the car and stood there talking to the girl for a few minutes.

Penny frowned when she noticed the cigarette in Haley's hand. _' That little shit!' _She thought angrily. She felt very motherly at that moment, and she knew it was because in all sense, Penny was the closest thing Haley had to a female role model. There was Bernadette and Amy of course, but they were so naïve when it came to defying your parents. Penny knew it all too well, she used to do it herself. She knew the mind games and the tricks to pull in order to get away with murder.

After Haley got into the backseat and they drove off, Penny stood there for a moment. She didn't know whether to go next door and inform Sheldon and Leonard that Haley had ran off in the middle of the night to do God knows what, or to wait till Haley came back and confront her. She decided on the later, so she opened a bottle of wine and sat down and watched TV, preparing for a long night.

0000

Penny had fallen asleep on the couch, watching reruns of Jersey Shore. When she heard a staggering noise heading up the stairs she woke, and looked at the time. It was 5:30 in the morning. Penny got up from the couch and waited quietly by the door till she heard Haley walk up the last stair. She then swung the door open and looked at her smiling "Hello sunshine."

Haley jumped and turned around, dropping the cigarette out of her lips. "Uh, hi Penny" She slurred.

"Whatcha doing?" She asked innocently, though she could already tell that Haley was drunk.

"Checking the mail…" Haley responded nervously.

"Really? Cause it smells like a brewery in this hall, wouldn't know anything about that would you?"

"No…"

Penny crossed her arms over her chest and stared at her "Cut the crap Haley. I saw you sneaking out like five hours ago. Where the hell were you?"

'_Fuck, fuck fuck!' _Haley thought to herself. '_Shit, I got to come up with something. Damn it, what do I say…' _She was having a hard time processing actually getting caught. The alcohol didn't help with her train of thought either. "Umm…"

"So you snuck out to get drunk with your friends, isn't that right? Do that often?"

"Sometimes…"

Penny dropped her hands to her side and sighed "Get in here, we need to talk."

It was then that Haley started to panic. She knew she had less than a half an hour before Sheldon and Leonard woke up. She didn't want them discovering she was gone the entire night. She walked over to Penny who stepped aside allowing her access to the apartment and she sat down on the couch. Penny closed the door and turned to look at her. "Haley, what's going on with you? You can fool everyone else, but I don't fall for it."

She noticed that Haley started to shake and her breathing became rapid, but she continued. "Do you know how worried your brother would be if he so happened to wake up and find you gone?"

"Yes. I just had to get away for a while." She stammered. _' I had to drowned out the issue at hand' _

"At midnight? And who the hell was Lexi with that drives a car? You two are thirteen! You shouldn't be friends with anyone who has a drivers license!"

"Lexi's boyfriend…he's seventeen."

"Seventeen?" Penny said in disbelief. "I'm not even going to get into how wrong that is, back to you. Drinking and smoking, seriously Haley?"

" I'm dealing with stuff in my own way."

"What stuff? Your thirteen, and you have it pretty damn good. Your brother buys you whatever you want, hell so does Leonard."

" I never said it was because of them." Haley said angrily. " I don't feel comfortable talking about it, and I never will. I'm doing what I need to do." _'to keep myself from completely going insane.' _Pulling her sleeves further over her hands, trying to keep herself from having a panic attack. She felt her pulse beating in her ears and was finding it hard to breathe. …

_She was doing ok in school that day. It had been a good day, until school let out and she walked out of the school to find his car parked out in front of the school. Haley didn't expect him to pick up Hannah from school, but there he was and she felt trapped. She made an excuse to walk home where her friend offered her a ride. She almost managed to escape ,but he caught sight of her "Hey Haley...we missed you at the house the other day…" Seeing that smirk on his face, she felt the blood draining from her face. _

"_My brother wanted me to stay at home…I had a sore throat…he was worried I caught some serious disease, you know how he is…" she tried to play it off cool, but she found herself faltering. She wasn't completely lying. She was sick, at least Sheldon thought she was. It was one of the few times she avoided what often seemed like the inevitable. _

"_Sure you don't want a ride?" Shaking her head, she found herself running as fast as she could to get away. _

"Haley?" Penny said her name quietly, noticing that she was somewhere else at that moment. When Haley didn't answer, she sat down next to her and touched her arm. "Haley. What's wrong?" At the moment of contact, Haley jumped and backed away from her. Penny had never seen her act like this. Haley's eyes were wide with fear, but somehow she could tell it wasn't fear of her.

"Nothing. Sorry… I'm…I'm just really tired." She stuttered. Penny decided she wouldn't push her any further. Seeing her like this worried her, and she didn't know what to do.

"Alright."

Haley slowly got up, swaying slightly. Penny put a hand on her shoulder to steady her. Before she left Penny looked at her "Haley?"

She turned and looked at Penny. "I won't say anything…for now, but I can't keep this from Sheldon. You know that right?"

Haley didn't even hear her, the beating heart in her head was too loud; so she nodded and closed the door behind her.

0000

Penny grabbed her laptop and typed in the URL address for Facebook. She started to put her own email in when Haley's popped up. She knew Haley would constantly be on her computer while she was over, so the password was also saved. Penny sat there for a moment, feeling horrible for even thinking about invading her privacy. Yet, she needed to know what the hell was happening. She logged on and started scrolling down reading her newsfeed. Nothing out of the ordinary. Checking her inbox, Penny also found nothing out of the ordinary. She then clicked on her profile and viewed her statuses.

_Haley Marie Cooper: 'I know I can stop the pain if I will it all away. (Wednesday March 11 2015)_

_Haley Marie Cooper: "I know I've said it so many times. I will change my ways, no never mind. God knows I've tried.' (Friday, March 13 2015)_

_Haley Marie Cooper: "So help me. Please someone come quick. I think I am losing it. Forgive me, I inherited this from a stranger I'll never miss. I'm sick.' (Saturday, March 15 2015)_

_Haley Marie Cooper: Torn apart at the seams and my dreams turn to tears, I'm not feeling this situation. Run away try to find a safe place you can hideIt's the best place to be when you're feeling like me. All these things I hate revolve around me. Just back off before I snap and you'll see me.' (Tuesday, March 18 2015) _

_Haley Marie Cooper: "Violet wrists and then her ankles, silent pain. Then he saw her nightmares were his dreams…' (Wednesday, March 19 2015) _

Penny clicked off the page and sat there. The last status was from yesterday afternoon. Something in the pit of her stomach told her this was not right. The fact that these statuses were hidden to everyone but specifically chosen friends, also made her wonder.

0000

Six years ago

_It was late Wednesday night, and Haley woke with a series of horrifying images in her small head. Bolting upright in the bed, it took her a few seconds to realize that she was at Hannah's house. She turned to Hannah who was fast asleep, and gave her a few nudges "Hannah…" She whispered. "Hannah…I can't sleep…" Hannah turned and buried her face into her pillow. _

_She knew that she probably shouldn't have went along with Hannah when she turned on the movie IT, saying that no one would know if they watched it. Pennywise now haunted her dreams, much to her displeasure, and a passed out Hannah definitely was not going to keep the razor toothed clown at bay. _

_She pulled back the covers and slipped out of the Queen sized bed that Hannah had. Hannah's parents were rich. Her father Andrew Meloy was a famous evangelist who wrote many inspirational books, that Sheldon called a 'waste of paper' and "Absolute nonsense.." He was rarely home, so it was mainly Hannah's stay at home mother who took care of the children (though there were times where she was absent as well). Hannah had an older brother who often would look after her whenever this happened. _

_Aaron was seventeen, and the very quiet type. Haley never heard him speak a word, in the six months she had been coming over to play and spend the night. She thought it rather curious, when she would walk past him to either see a book in his face or at a table creating or fixing random gadgets. It was Aaron who had watch over them tonight. _

_Haley tiptoed across the large bedroom to the door, opening it slowly. Slipping out of a big enough crack she made, she closed to door quietly behind her and walked down the hall to the stairs that led down to the kitchen. _

_Haley stopped at the kitchen door, and pressed her ear to the cool wood in order to hear if anyone was in there. The bow that kept her hair back fell in her face, and she brushed it back with her hand hastily, then proceeded to slowly push the door open. _

_She grabbed a hold of the swinging door and let it close silently, before turning around to see Hannah's brother sitting at the kitchen table, staring at her. _

_Haley let out a scream when she saw him and backed against the door, which caused it to swing open, sending her to the floor. She landed with a loud 'Thud' on her back. It took a minute for Haley to realize she was no longer standing. She sat up quickly to find Aaron standing above her, offering her his hand. _

_That was the first time she ever saw him smile. _

"_Did I scare you?" He grabbed her hand gently, pulling her to her feet. Before she could do it herself, he pushed the bow that once again fell in her eyes from her face, running his hand down through her hair as he did so. _

"_I thought you were the scary clown with the sharp teeth…." She said in a small voice '_He can talk?'.

_Aaron shook his head, unable to control his laughter. "Nope, not I." He paused and gave her a look "I assume Hannah was watching channels she's not allowed to…" _

_Haley just shrugged her shoulders "I don't know…" She definitely didn't want to get Hannah in trouble. _

"_I guess you're hungry, otherwise you wouldn't have wandered down here…" He walked away from her and went to the fridge, opening it. _

"_Kind of…I just was scared…and Hannah won't wake up…" She fidgeted in her spot nervously. He closed the fridge and grabbed some cookies from the cabinet instead. _

"_You can come to my room and watch some TV with me till you get tired." Haley gave him a small nod. He walked past her, out the door. She followed him quietly upstairs and down the other hall to his bedroom. Aaron stood to the side to let her in and closed the door behind her. Haley noticed he had a lot of Video Game posters on his walls, as well as Star Wars. Not too different from her own brother's room, except his was messy. Aaron placed the package of Oreo's on his bedside table, and flopped onto his bed, turning his TV on with his remote. _

_He noticed she stood there awkwardly "You can sit down, I'm not going to bite you." Haley sat down on the floor next to the bed. She bit at her nails out of habit as she watched 'family guy', not noticing that Aaron would look at her from time to time. He suddenly reached down and pulled her hand from her mouth "Don't do that, you'll ruin you pretty little hands with that nasty habit…" _

_Haley stared at him for a minute before shrugging "My hands aren't pretty, they are too short…" _

_Aaron chuckled slightly "Why do you think your short?"_

"_Because my big brother is very tall…and I'm not…" she paused "my brother is perfect and really smart… I'm not…"_

"_That's matter of opinion…I think you are very pretty Haley…just wait till your older…"_

_Haley grabbed a cookie from the table and took a bite. She didn't know why she was so shy in front of Hannah's brother. He seemed a lot like her own brother and his friends, there was just something different. _

_She got up and finished her cookie, "I think I'm tired now…" _

"_Goodnight, if you get scared again…I'll be right here." _

"_Thanks…" Haley muttered shyly and ran back to Hannah's bedroom as quick as she possibly could. Had she been older, she might have noticed the way his eyes linger on her a bit longer than they should have. _

_After she had left, Aaron had laid there in his bed, pushing away thoughts that shouldn't be in his head. He often ignored his sister and her little friends. They were annoying little kids, and he was nothing but his parents nanny, but Haley. He didn't know why, but he always found himself looking at her, thinking how beautiful she was, but she didn't realize it. Sure, Lexi and Haley looked similar enough, with blonde hair and light eyes, but it was Haley's untamed curiosity and naivety that always made him catch himself watching her. It was the beginning of an unhealthy habit._

'

0000

Haley sat in her bedroom staring at the Bullet for my Valentine poster on her wall. Everything was crumbling before her, and she didn't know what she was going to do. Holding her arm that stung bitterly her mind was going a hundred miles an hour. She heard Sheldon in the kitchen making breakfast. She knew it was only a matter of time before he came in there to wake her up for school. Haley knew she had to think fast, so she didn't have to go. When she heard someone knocking on the apartment door, she froze.

"Hey Sheldon." She heard Penny's voice.

"Oh, hello Penny. Out of milk again I assume?" -The annoyed voice of her brother.

"Don't worry. I just went grocery shopping yesterday. I need to talk to you about something though…"

That was all it took to send Haley into a full blown panic attack. She doubled over holding her chest, that had sharp pains coursing through her; knocking the breath right out of her body. _' I have to get out of here' _Her mind screamed, as she got up and stumbled over to her closer, throwing shirts and sweaters every which way, trying to get something to wear. The room was spinning; she couldn't breathe. Ripping off the long sleeved pajama shirt she let out a silent scream as it pulled off the bandages that concealed the secret to her sanity.

0000

Sheldon looked at Penny, and could tell she was upset and had not got any sleep that night. "Whatever it is. It must be serious to you. You look like 'hell' as they put it."

"It's about Haley…"

He looked up at her confused "What are you talking about? Haley is asleep, in fact. It's about time I woke her up actually.." He said turning to head to her room, but Penny grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

Sheldon looked at her wildly, he hated being randomly touched and her actions were enough to give her a strike. "What is the meaning of this Penny? Going on like a mad lunatic." He glared.

"I caught her sneaking out at midnight…she didn't come back till about an two hours ago. Sheldon, she was piss drunk and smoking a cigarette when I caught her."

Sheldon stood there for a moment, trying to process what Penny was telling him. It was illogical. Impossible. Surely Penny had been mistaken. " Are you sure it was in fact Haley?"

"Very sure. I dragged her to my apartment and confronted her. She had some sort of a panic attack. I never seen her like that before…"

Sheldon didn't wait for Penny to continue. All logic and protocol went out the window in that moment he stormed down the hall and opened the door to Haley's room. She was sitting in the corner of the room on the floor with her head in her hands, tugging her hair underneath her hoodie. "Penny has informed me that she found you sneaking out last night. Is this true?" His tone was stern, and low. She knew she was in deep crap. Haley looked up at him, her eyes wide "Yes…"

"And where exactly did you go at such an ungodly hour?"

"The beach." she whispered. "It was a bonfire…we were just hanging out."

"And did you become intoxicated?" He paused "I want to hear it from you. Oh, and do not lie to me, because I could smell liquor the moment I opened this door."

She bit her lip, holding back tears "Yes."

"I am very disappointed in you." He said angrily. "Giving into such tedious and ridiculous temptations, destroying what intelligence you have."

Haley's head snapped up and she found herself about to explode. "Excuse me? Did you just fucking call me stupid?"

"Your actions are making you look stupid Haley."

Haley stood up and balled her fists tightly at her sides. She walked right up to him and stood to her full height, which only happened to be about 5'1. "You don't know shit about my actions!" She yelled. Sheldon looked down at her and took a few steps back. He never seen his sister like this before. Her eyes were full of rage. "You have no fucking clue what is going on with me! Want to know why? Because I lied, but now that you know. What the hell. Yes Sheldon, I drink very often. I've been smoking since I was eleven, oh and I really love getting high. Its so amazing to block out shit you wish you hadn't seen and experienced with recreational drugs and alcohol."

Sheldon looked at her with an expression of utter shock and bewilderment. He was hurt that she felt the need to lie to him. He looked down at his feet and sighed "What happened to the Haley I brought back from Texas?"

The answer she gave him would haunt him for days on end. "She died five years ago…" Haley looked at him, tears now streaming down her face. She walked up to him and hugged him "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." She sobbed. It had been years since she cried like this, and he often always found himself at a loss as to how to deal with it. He was confused. She wasn't dead; she stood here right in front of him. What could she possibly mean? Everything she said was some strange riddle to him. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her back. "Please don't cry." He begged, as he pulled down her hood. "I'll call the school. It wouldn't be appropriate to send you while you are in this state, but you are going to have to come with Leonard and I to the university."

Haley just nodded still shaking. He tried to be firm with her but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. "I don't want you to go anywhere except school and home until further notice. You are on house restriction."

"You mean I'm grounded."

"For lack of a better word, Yes." There was so much uneasiness in the air and he knew something was not right with his sister. This was not her character, that much he knew for certain. Was she trying to tell him something? That frustrated him, she knew he wasn't good at reading between the lines when it came to emotions. Haley was normally always forthright with everything. He was stumped, unless it was something she desperately needed to tell, but felt she couldn't for reasons unknown.

0000

Leonard heard everything and he came out of his room and made a beeline to the living room where Penny was standing awkwardly. "What the hell was that about?" He asked adjusting his glasses.

"That Leonard, was just the tip of the iceberg."


	5. Worlds Collide

**(Here is my updated version of chapter five. A few minor changes in this chapter, nothing too big…)**

Chapter five: Worlds collide

Seven and a half years ago

"_Sheldon, you're dressing Haley like a boy again…" Raj commented during Thai food night, a month after the hospital scare. _

"_I most certainly am not." He looked at her in confusion. "If you can not see she is wearing girl shorts. As for the shirt, she chose it, not myself. Though, I did applaud her on her taste." He was referring to the Green Lantern shirt the little girl was wearing, as she sat on the floor in front of Leonard chair coloring._

"_Of course you would. Now she looks like a mini blonde you!" Howard commented. _

"_If she were to be a 'mini me' as you claim. She would be exactly like me in every aspect. She has strawberry blonde hair, not brown; and unfortunately she is extremely short. Six inches shorter than I was at her age. I fear aside from her facial features, she may have also inherited Meemaw's short stature. Meemaw was only five foot."_

_Howard rolled his eyes "Hey I'm 5'4, it's not that bad," he sounded slightly offended. _

"_I am not saying it as it is a bad thing. It's just odd, given the fact that Missy, George, and myself are 5'11, 6'3, and 6,2. I guess there is truth to they saying "runt of the litter'." _

_With that Haley looked up and scowled at him "I'm not a runt!" Leonard picked her up and placed her in his lap "Of course your not, your brother is jerk. A tall and skinny jerk!" _

_Sheldon put down his food and scoffed at them "Now Leonard, I do not see how what I said could be considered as such. I just made a point that I am concerned about Haley's underdevelopment."_

"_And you hurt her feelings." Raj shook his head at him then looked to Haley " You are adorable just the way you are. Don't let Sheldon make you think otherwise." _

_Sheldon looked at Haley who was being comforted by Leonard. He didn't think what he had said was mean, but by the look of hurt on his sister's face he knew he did something wrong. "Haley, I would like to apologize for my actions. I didn't mean to say them to hurt your feelings."_

"_Jerk" Haley chimed and started laughing. Howard snorted "Did I ever tell you how much I love this kid? Endless entertainment." _

" oh, _Ha ha ha " Sheldon glared at him, he then turned back to his sister. "Come here." _

_She looked at him blankly for a moment, before she slipped out of Leonard's lap and walked over to him. The guys started in shock when he pulled her into his lap and hugged her tightly. "I must admit it is quite flattering to have a mini me." He said with a smirk. Sheldon showing affection to anything was a shock in itself, but Sheldon apologizing and admitting he was wrong, that was a whole new level. _

_Despite Sheldon's loathing of change, it occurred. It was gradual and at first he didn't even notice it, but his friends began to see the slight differences in their wacky friends' routine. Leonard picked up on it when Sheldon declined his offer to take Haley to the park one afternoon. Something that he and the guys would normally do._

"_It's quite alright Leonard. I think today I will be taking her. Perhaps it will prevent her from rolling around in the dirt like a pig." _

_Leonard laughed "Yeah I doubt it. She swings around like a monkey. She's fast too, so you'll have to be on your toes." He warned him. Leonard then went off to meet Leslie. _

_0000_

_The whole time he was on his date he expected a distress text from Sheldon begging for his help, but one never came. After dropping of Leslie he walked the length of stairs a bit uneasy. He fully expected to open the door to his home finding it in chaos, with a broken Sheldon bawling in his room. He got to the apartment and opened the door and was indeed shocked by what he found. Sheldon was standing at his dry erase board that was labeled at the top 'introduction to physics'. Packing Haley on his hip, with his other hand in a frenzy writing equations on the board as he spoke to her "It's a warm summer evening, circa 600 BC. You've finished your shopping at the local market, or agora... and you look up at the night sky. There you notice some of the stars seem to move, so you name them planetes or wanderer…"_

_Leonard blinked and shook his head "Sheldon what are you doing to that poor little girl." When Sheldon turned around he noticed they were both wearing red and yellow Flash t shirts. "I'm teaching Haley the fundamentals of physics, isn't it obvious?"_

"_Why? You were supposed to take her to the park." _

"_Oh ,but I did. While we were there though Haley said she wanted to know what I did for some little presentation she has to give for her class. So I decided it would be the best time to give her an introductory course in the material." _

"_Sheldon she's five. She has no clue what you are talking about!" He snorted. "Haley do you want to learn this?" _

_Haley nodded eagerly and Sheldon smiled smugly "See. I told you." _

0000

Haley dragged her feet behind Sheldon and Leonard as if she were walking the mile on death row. Calling shotgun before her brother she got in on the passengers side and rested her hooded head against the window.

It was a few minutes of silence before Leonard spoke "So what the frak happened, and why isn't Haley going to school today?"

"Penny caught her sneaking out to attend a social function that involved alcohol. She came home about two hours ago. Needless to say she's still inebriated and grounded."

Leonard looked at Haley who was tapping her foot nervously. "You were drinking?"

Haley shrugged "I don't want to talk about it."

"Wow…" was the only thing he could say.

Sheldon sighed "Haley must you continue with that constantly twitching, its hurting my knees."

"I need a cigarette." She muttered. Leonard looked at her wide eyed "Since when do you even smoke?" he paused remembered all those times he would catch whiffs of tobacco when she'd walk past him. "Actually I think I knew that already."

"Since eleven, and I figured you already did…"

"Jesus…well I mean, I don't like the idea…but I guess if you need one that badly you can light one. Just roll down the window, you know Sheldon hates cigarette smoke."

Sheldon clenched his fists "I do not agree to this."

"Do you want me to keep bumping the seat into your knees from my twitching?" She said looking at him in the side view mirror.

"Well no…"He began but stopped. It wasn't as if it were a shock to him. He found this all out an hour ago. Still, he didn't want to witness it firsthand. To see his little sister hung-over was bad enough. Now he had to watch her pollute her lungs with carbon monoxide.

"Can I listen to the radio?" Haley asked Leonard as she lit up her cigarette, rolling down the window.

"Sure."

Haley searched through the stations, rolling her eyes "I swear there's never any good shit on these days…OH! Sweet! This song is amazing." She smiled as she sat back and put one foot out the window and started singing along "_Carry on my wayward son, there'll be peace when you are done. Lay your weary head to rest, don't you cry no more."_

Leonard looked at her. "What the heck is this?"

"Kansas, you can't tell me you that you never heard of Kansas" She looked at him in shock.

"I have, just never thought you listen to this kind of stuff."

She took a puff of her cigarette and exhaled "While I like hardcore and screamo, I have a love and appreciation for the music that proceeded them." She talked just like Sheldon when she spoke of music and it slightly freaked Leonard out, but after all Sheldon did raise her. He could see the talk of music was calming her from the big scene that had happened earlier, he could tell Sheldon though, was still tense. "Alright, since your so knowledgeable of music, I'm going to test you."

"Go for it."

Leonard grabbed his ipod from his pocket and hooked it up to the radio system. He searched till he found one that would stump her and pressed play. "Alright, who is this classic rock group?"

Haley immediately started singing along to it "_I see the bad moon arising. I see trouble on the way. I see earthquakes and lightning. I see bad times today." _She paused "Bad moon rising by Creedence Clearwater Revival."

Leonard laughed "Pretty good. Lets see if you can guess this one." Once again he pressed play and like before Haley started singing along to it "_ Though his mind is not for rent don't put him down as arrogant his reserve, a quiet defense riding out the day's events… _Tom Sawyer…Rush."

"Good lord, must you two banter on and on about this racket? Its giving me a headache." Sheldon complained. He wasn't entirely truthful though, the headache was from the argument he had with Haley.

Haley looked back at her brother and could tell he was still greatly upset with her. She flicked her cigarette out the window and rolled the window up. Leonard turned down the radio and the three rode in silence all the way to Caltech.

0000

Sheldon left Haley in the office he shared with Raj while he went elsewhere. He told her to "Behave, and sober up." Something she had already done, the moment he had walked into her room and confronted her. Sitting at his desk with her head down her mind raced once more. It was when she was alone that her demons came out in full force.

'_your fucked Haley.' _her mind scolded her. _'you had to slip up and let them find out. It's only a matter of time before they know what happened. Not that it will matter, your brother already looks at you with disgust now.' _

Haley grabbed her hair and groaned "Please please stop." She begged. _'It's all you Haley. This is what it feels like to go insane. You know what you have to do to make me go away." _it snarled. Haley bit her lip and took a deep breath as she laid her head back down on the desk and soon fell asleep.

0000

_She remembered begging Sheldon to let her stay at Hannah's for New Years eve for days before he finally gave in and said yes. He had wanted her to come along with them to the comic book store's New Years eve party and dress her up as the Flash's sidekick. She already stayed at her friend's house once a week during Halo night. He didn't think it was necessary for her to sleep over on a holiday, but Haley begged and he relented. He had such a hard time telling her no. _

_She remembered having a good time, sitting on the couch with Hannah watching movie's and playing games like most nine year olds. The two had made it a goal to stay up till midnight to watch the ball drop. This was a big deal for them, the first time watching the old year expire and a new year begin. By ten o clock though, Hannah was complaining that she was tired and went to her bedroom to go to bed. Haley, being stubborn like her brother, stayed and had every intention to do what she said she was going to do. _

_She fell asleep as soon as the ball dropped ringing in 2010. Haley happily dozed off on the couch, feeling accomplished. She didn't hear the front door open and the drunken stagger of Hannah's older brother Aaron, then eighteen, opening the door to the dark living room…_

0000

Haley's eyes flew open and she bolted upright to find her brother and Raj looking at her. "Dude, are you alright? We heard you scream from down the hall." Raj asked with concern on his face. She quickly pushed away from the desk and wiped away the tears the streaked her face. "Yeah, just a weird dream…" She said hoarsely.

"Raj, I'd like to speak to my sister alone if I may." Sheldon said in a somewhat cold voice. He was upset that Raj had known about her smoking and the picture he saw, yet failed to tell him.

"Alright." He said slowly and left the room to the door of them, closing the door. Haley shrunk down into the chair, trying to make herself as small as possible. This was the talk she was dreading. The talk they couldn't have because of Leonard and Penny's presence earlier.

"You were screaming as if someone was hurting you…" He said quietly as he sat at the end of the desk and looked down at her. The coldness and anger were gone from his bright blue eyes. What remained was worry and anxiety.

"n-no" She stuttered. Her palms were sweaty and she felt her whole body began to shake in panic. "Haley, I would never hurt you. You know that right?" He said calmly as he watched her anxiety level rise right before his eyes. Something he never seen in his sister before. She was always so relaxed and carefree, till recently. He thought perhaps she was afraid that she would get punished physically, which was something he would never do. It angered him when George would constantly talk about how he had to beat his two young sons for minor problems they had caused. Even more evidence that George was just like their father and he was not.

"Yeah. I know that." Haley breathed shallowly. She tried to keep focus and stay with him but her mind kept wandering off to a place she didn't ever want to be.

_Haley was fast asleep on the couch until a hand, stroking her hair woke her from her slumber. Looking up, she saw Aaron's hazel eyes staring down at her. His curly brown hair was messy and his breath reeked of booze. Those dilated eyes bore into her in a way that made her look at him in confusion. This was just Aaron though, he was always nice to her. "Your so pretty Haley…" he whispered. "Has anyone ever told you that?" _

_She shrugged "You tell me all the time I am…" _

_He leaned closer to her, she fidgeted slightly, feeling uncomfortable of his weight, pressing her into cushions. "I've always thought you were beautiful and innocent." He twirled a curl of her hair around between his fingers "When you get older…those little boys will just take advantage…and hurt you. You need to be prepared….you should be taught…." He was convincing himself that what he wanted to do was right. _"_do you like games Haley?" He whispered into her ear. _

_She nodded and tried to sit up but the weight of his body on her, prevented this from happening. She felt trapped and that started to frighten her._

_"Let's play a game, but we can't tell anyone. It's going to be our little secret ok?" _

_Haley looked at him confused "Not even Hannah?" _

_He shook his head "No. This is our little secret…think of it as a lesson too…" _

0000

"Haley? Are you listening to me?" Sheldon repeated himself. She was in some sort of a daze as far as he could tell. She snapped back and looked at him wide eyed. "Sorry.."

"Haley I am aware that something is going on that you are not telling me."

"I don't want to talk about it, please can we drop it?"

Sheldon sighed and slipped off the desk and kneeled down in front of her. "I'm not very good at this sort of social protocol, but I am concerned about your well being." He paused, trying to find the right words "Is there anything you want to tell me? No, wait, that's not right.." He stopped and restarted "Please tell me what is wrong."

Before she could stop herself she found herself crying "I cant…"

"Why?"

"Because…it's complicated." _'And I need to pretend it never happened. That this never began in the first place…" _

"Haley, I have an IQ of 187, I'm sure I can understand however complicated it may seem to you."

"It was like I told you, the accident. I keep having flashbacks of it." She said finally, hoping that would take care of it.

"Alright." Was all he said, but she could tell from the look on his face that he didn't believe her.

0000

A few days had passed with Haley on house restrictions and nothing out of the ordinary happened. She just stayed in her room, watched TV, or played games with Leonard and Sheldon the whole time. He kept his bedroom door open at night to make sure she didn't try to sneak out, but she didn't. Everything was turning back to normal and he finally thought he found peace.

It was Saturday - laundry day, and Sheldon found himself downstairs with Penny sorting through clothes.

"So, I got a text from Amy. She seemed pretty upset. You two have an argument?" She asked innocently as she threw her clothes into the washer.

"If that's what you call it. It was more of a disagreement." He said blankly.

"that's still an argument. What about?"

"Haley…Amy seems to think that I need to take her to a therapist, but I'm positive that is unnecessary."

Penny nodded. She had told Amy and Bernadette about what had happened and Amy was upset about it. Going on and on about how these childish antics of Haley's would disrupt Sheldon's work towards the Nobel Piece Prize. She wasn't trying to be rude or harsh, she just felt that things like that should be talked to with a trained professional. That and Penny had an odd feeling that Amy just wanted to hook Haley up to some electrodes to see how her brain functioned. Another thing Penny also saw hints of was jealousy towards Haley. Sheldon always showed affection towards his little sister, yet he rarely would even hug Amy. It was the oddest relationship she had ever encountered, but she knew that Sheldon didn't do it on purpose. Amy had to come to grips with the fact that for the most part, Sheldon had a bubble around him. The only reason that Haley was included exclusively in this bubble was the simple fact that he raised her.

"It's your choice, not anyone else's," Penny said looked over at him. She looked at the long sleeved shirt he had in his hand, and dropped her clothes and walked over to him taking it from his hands. "What the hell is that?" She said examining it closer. It was one of Haley's long sleeved shirts, the sleeves had dark maroon stains on them. Sheldon hadn't noticed it until Penny brought attention to it, he furrowed his brow "It appears to be dried blood…odd. She probably got injured skating"

Before he could say anything else Penny was in a frenzy pulling clothes out of his laundry basket, and by the time she was done there were about seven long sleeved shirts of Haley's that bore blood stains in the same spots. "I don't think so Sheldon…" She thought for a moment, remembering all the times Haley pulling down the sleeves of her shirts over her hands, even going as far as cutting holes to slip her thumbs through in order to hide something. "Do you remember the last time Haley wore a short sleeve shirt?" she asked.

Sheldon eyed her "Why would I pay attention to that?"

Penny took a deep breath and hopped up on the washer, "Ok Sheldon, I'm going to make a suggestion, and I don't want you to get mad at me."

"Why would I get mad at you, that's ridiculous." He placed the shirts in the washer and looked at her.

"I think Haley is…purposely hurting herself."

Sheldon shook his head "Why do you assume that?"

"Because she hides her arms constantly with long sleeves, and there's blood on all of these shirts." She tried to sort her thoughts in order to put this as gently as possible but she couldn't "I think she's cutting herself."

"Nonsense. She would never do something that ridiculous. The alcohol was a result of peer pressure I assume, as well as the smoking."

"When she's sleeping tonight check. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong…but if I'm right…you probably should consider that therapist."

" I will do so then, just to prove that your hypothesis is incorrect." He turned back to his laundry, with an upset look on his face. Penny sighed and walked over to him, touching him on the shoulder "I'm sorry Sweetie. I didn't mean to piss you off. I'm just worried about her. She's hiding something, I know as much. That night I caught her…I kind of hacked into her facebook account.." She said nervously.

"You invaded her privacy?"

"I know its horrible but some of the statuses she writes aren't right.."

"I have her on facebook I never seen anything considered 'not right'"

"The ones she puts on private are the one's I am talking about Sheldon. The ones she doesn't want any of us to see… ' _violet wrists and then her ankles, silent pain, the he realized her nightmares are his dreams.' _She said reciting the last status that stuck in her mind.

"That does sound rather curious.." he said quietly. The words floated around in his head as he tried to figure out meaning, violet wrists? Were they bruises? Her nightmares were his dreams? Penny just nodded, she then did something that she never did before to him. Feeling the need to give him some sort of comfort, she stood on her tip toes and kissed him lightly on the cheek..

"Just remember, if you ever need anything I'm always here…for both of you." and with that she left Sheldon standing there dumbfounded as to what just happened.

0000

Later that night despite to want to remain oblivious, he quietly walked into Haley's room to find her passed out in her bed with her headphones on. He proceeded with caution as he walked over to her and kneeled down beside her bed. She might be small but she had one mean right hook. Something he learned the hard way when she was eight. This felt so absurd to him but he wanted to put Penny's mind at peace with such irrational thoughts. Sheldon carefully picked up Haley's right hand and slowly pulled up her sleeve. He let out a gasp as the crisscrossed wounds revealed themselves, the further he pulled up, the more carnage he saw. He bit his lip and couldn't find the strength to push down despair he felt. Carefully turning her hand over it revealed even worse and fresh marks going up her wrist and forearm. He quickly set her arm down and felt the need to sit as he felt sick to his stomach. He then reached into his pocket and got out his phone and called the one person he knew might be of help.

She answered on the third ring "Hello"

"Dr. Hofstadter, this is Dr. Sheldon Cooper, Leonard's friend. I have a situation that I believe you can help me with…"


	6. Therapy

**(Updated version of chapter six!**

**That's right, I'm bringing Leonard's mom in! I own nothing, except Haley, Aaron, Hannah, and Lexi)**

Chapter six : Therapy

_My ship went down, in a sea of sound._  
><em>When I woke up alone I had everything;<em>  
><em>A handful of moments, I wished I could change,<em>  
><em>And a tongue like a nightmare, that cut like a blade.<em>  
><em>In a city of fools, I was careful and cool,<em>  
><em>But they tore me apart, like a hurricane.<em>  
><em>A handful of moments, I wished I could change,<em>  
><em>But I was carried away.<em>

_Give me therapy, I'm a walking travesty,_  
><em>But I'm smiling at everything.<em>  
><em>Therapy, you were never a friend to me,<em>  
><em>And you can keep all your misery.<em>

~All Time Low

"You called my mother and asked her to be Haley's therapist!" Leonard spat, when Sheldon informed him a few days later.

"Yes, your mother is a highly renowned neuroscientist and child psychiatrist. If anyone is able to help my sister, I believe it is her."

"Really Sheldon? Look what she did to me!"

"Oh come now Leonard, you are her son, and she did the best she possibly could. Just look at your brother and sister, they seem to be doing wonderfully."

Leonard glared at him, not believing how idiotic his room mate could be at times.

"Fine. Have it your way, when she screws Haley up more than she already is and completely breaks her, don't come crying to me!" and with that he stormed off into his room, just as Haley opened the door to hers.

She stormed into the living room and walked right up to Sheldon with fire in her eyes "A shrink!" She screeched. "I don't need a god damned therapist!"

Sheldon stepped back and braced himself for a tantrum as he expected. He hadn't told her he knew what she was doing to herself. He had been avoiding the thought of it that night and what occurred afterwards.

0000

_Knock knock knock_

"_Penny!"_

_Knock knock knock_

"_Penny!"_

_Knock knock knock_

"_Penny!" _

_Penny opened the door "What's the jist phys…" she stopped when she saw Sheldon standing there disheveled, his eyes red from crying. "Oh my God sweetie what happened?" _

"_Your hypothesis was correct." _

"_Oh God.." She muttered "Come in and sit down." She moved aside and Sheldon walked in, sitting down in his designated spot. Penny closed the door and sat down on the couch. _

"_Her arms…they are badly mutilated. Why would someone do such a thing to themselves?" _

" _I looked it up. Doctors say it's a coping mechanism to relieve emotional pain as a way to communicate distress." _

"_I see. I do not understand what emotional pain she is experiencing. Have I done something wrong to make her do such things?" _

_Penny scooted closer to him and touched his arm gently. She felt him stiffen under her touch " Sheldon you have done nothing wrong. I know I have never said this, but I'm very proud of you for how far you have come along since I first met you. Your mother couldn't have picked a better person to take care of her baby." _

_Sheldon sighed and sat back on the couch "Why won't she tell me what is making her this way?" _

_Penny looked at him, trying her best to not cry "I think…that she believes if you or any of us found out…that we would look at her differently." _

"_But that is just preposterous…"_

"_Have you told anyone else about this? Amy or Leonard?" _

"_Lord no. Leonard would have an asthma attack and Amy would go on some rant at how she is seeking some form of gratification or some other nonsense" _

_Penny nodded "So, I'm the first person you have talked to?" _

_Sheldon looked at her "You wanted me to report my findings so here I am." Penny didn't know what was coming over her, but looking at her whackadoodle neighbor in this state made her feel a compassion and appreciation of him than she had ever felt before. _

"_I'm very touched that you would come to me first." She said with a small smile. _

"_Well it's only logical. You are my best girl friend and out of Bernadette, Amy, and yourself, you are the closest to Haley. You seem to have figured her out better than any of them…myself included." Penny leaned forward and embraced him gently despite the fact that she knew it would make him extremely uncomfortable and may send him flying out the door. "That's not true. You see her better than anyone else does. You just don't like to admit that your not a robot." _

"_Penny…this is extremely uncomfortable.." he said weakly, yet made no move to escape her embrace. He found the contact somewhat comforting, in general recently he found her more pleasant company than his own girlfriend. _

_Penny let him go and moved back to her spot "Sorry sweetie, you just looked like you needed a hug."_

"_Thank you for your concern…" he said while staring down at his feet. _

"_I told you, I am always here for you guys. So what are you going to do?" _

"_I called Dr. Hofstadter, thankfully she agreed to fly out early next week to take Haley on as a patient…" _

_Penny jumped and looked at him "Leonard's mom? I don't know…" _

"_Despite my lack of belief in any deities. I have faith that she can get to the bottom of this." _

_0000_

"This isn't a debate or option." He said sternly "You obviously have issues that you need help figuring out. Since you refuse to talk to me or anyone else, I had no choice."

"Just. Let. It. Go!" She screamed and turned on her heel storming back to her bedroom, slamming the door. Sheldon let out an angry groan as he headed to the couch to sit in his spot. That was when he heard the smash. He jumped up as soon as his bottom touched the cushion and headed for Haley's bedroom. Not even bothering to knock, he swung the door open to see Haley standing in front of her dresser. The mirror was in pieces scattered around the floor. "Haley what on earth…" He started to yell but stopped when he saw the blood dripping from Haley's clenched fist. He felt himself getting dizzy, as he sat down on Haley's bed to prevent himself from fainting. "What did you do?" He choked.

"Couldn't control myself." She muttered as she picked up a dirty t shirt and wrapped it around her bloody hand.

'_Why couldn't Dr. Hofstadter have flown in tonight' _he thought as he stared at this stranger who definitely wasn't his sister.

0000

Beverly arrived at her son's apartment the next day promptly at 3:45 as she had told Sheldon she would arrive. He opened the door at the second knock and nodded a welcome to her "Thank you for coming Dr. Hofstadter, I know this is short notice, but this house has been in a state of chaos for weeks and quite frankly we are at a loss at what to do."

Beverly smiled robotically at him "I am sure. The symptoms and actions you have describe are quite abnormal. Is your sister here right now? I would like to start right away."

"She's in her room. She is very displeased that I am 'forcing' her to see a doctor for her problems."

"It is quite understandable." She made her way to the chair and sat down, placing her bag on the floor. After getting her notepad out she settled in to begin her assessment. All she needed now was the troubled teenager. A few minutes later Sheldon returned with a short, petite blonde dragging her feet behind him. Beverly remembered seeing Haley the times she had visited her son. She was an energetic and spirited eight year old last time she saw her. The girl who sat down on the couch in front of her was a totally different person. Wearing ripped jeans and a black shirt that read 'Apocolyptica' she wore over a long sleeved red shirt. Her hair streaked black and blue, held up in two messy buns on each side of her head. This child has definitely taken a 180' since she last seen her. What stood out the most though was her bandaged right hand.

"Hello Haley. I'm sure you remember me, I'm Leonard's mother."

"I know, I remember the time you and Penny came here drunk and you kissed my brother…"

Sheldon flushed and walked to the kitchen pretending to do cleaning, but really he was just plain embarrassed.

"Ah yes, I remember that. I was very intoxicated." She smirked slightly.

Haley shuddered at the thought. _'gross' _

Beverly wasn't no time getting to business "What happened to your hand Haley?"

"I…lost control." She said quietly as she stared at her hand, Leonard spent nearly an hour picking glass out of and wrapping it up tightly in bandages.

"Uh huh." Beverly said as she wrote something in her notebook. "Do you do that often? Lose control?"

"Sometimes…" Haley fidgeted in her seat.

"What happens when you do?" She eyed her intensively. Haley glanced over at Sheldon nervously and shrugged her shoulders. Beverly took the cue that she was afraid to speak with her brother in the room. Beverly turned and looked at him "Sheldon, I don't mean to be rude or obtuse but would it be alright if me and Haley speak alone?" Sheldon looked up at her and then nodded slowly "I have to be heading to the comic book store anyways."

A few minutes later he left, leaving Beverly and Haley to themselves. She turned back to Haley "Alright, like I was asking before. What happens when you lose control?"

"I don't remember really…" She said in a quiet voice. _'shut up! You can't speak about this!' _

Beverly nodded as she looked down at the notes she wrote the week before containing the information that Sheldon had provided over the phone. "Your brother says that you have cuts and scars all up your arms?" She knew she hit something when she saw the horror on Haley's face. "N-n-no." She lied.

"Haley consider this your safe haven. I will not repeat anything you say to anyone else. Anything that is bothering you, you have every right to discuss with me, and I will not judge you."

Haley looked at her. "Really?" _'She's lying you stupid bitch! She's going to go straight to Sheldon once she cracks you' _Her mind screamed at her. Beverly noticed the sudden distress in the girl. "Is there something you wish to tell me?"

It was a couple a minutes before Haley answered her "I started doing it last year…the cutting."

"How does it make you feel, when you cut yourself?"

"I feel…relieved. The voices go away."

"Voices?" She raised an eyebrow.

"It's usually only one, but it's always screaming at me." Haley said timidly, looking down at her hands.

"What are they screaming at you about?" Beverly asked as she wrote furiously on her notepad. Sheldon was right, this was a dire situation, that much she could tell already.

"That I can't tell…"

Beverly nodded sympathetically. She wouldn't press her into telling her what exactly it was she couldn't speak of, so she changed the subject. "Is this the same reason you also started drinking and smoking? The voices? Does it quiet them?"

Haley nodded "Yes. For a while at least…It helps me either go away, or in some cases…come back…"

"Dreams. Sheldon also expressed concern about reoccurring nightmares you have been having. He said they may be flashbacks from the accident you were in that killed your mother and grandmother?"

Haley took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "No. That's not what they are about…I told him that…to give him some piece of mind." She started to shake nervously and Beverly feared she might be going too far at this point "It's alright Haley, we don't have to discuss anything you aren't ready to talk about."

'_We don't know if we ever will be ready' _"Thanks…"

0000

The rest of the session they engaged in idle talk, and when Sheldon came back Beverly was ready to tell him her diagnosis.

"Did everything go well?" He asked as he placed his bag of new comics on the counter.

"It did. You were right to call me, Haley definitely has issues that need to be resolved."

Sheldon glanced around and noticed Haley wasn't in the room "Where did she take off to?"

"She is currently in here room."

He nodded, glad she wasn't there for the next question he asked "Do you have any kind of diagnosis as of yet?"

"I studied her closely and she inhabits prime characteristics and traits of a person who has Borderline Personality Disorder, it is rather rare for someone of her age to be exhibiting signs of this illness, but that leads me to my second point."

Sheldon was still trying to grasp the whole Borderline Personality Disorder conclusion at that point so when she said there was more he just looked at her "Yes?"

"Now I will not say much of what we talked about in the session. I need to gain her trust and she showing a great paranoia of what is going on, but I will tell you it is not the accident of 2007.."

"I see." Were the only words that came out of his mouth. This was what he expected, though he had hoped that this one time, he was wrong.

0000

"I can't even take this shit seriously" Haley laughed as she walked the stairs up to the apartment after school a few days later with Hannah.

"I know right? I'm so baked." Hannah snorted.

"Dude just act normal! My brother will be so fucking pissed if he knew I was high!" Haley tried sounding serious but she started to crack up again "I so am going to raid the fridge."

"At least your brother wouldn't send you to some fucking church camp, like mine would if they caught me…." Hannah said seriously. " So…I heard your brother is making you see a shrink….."

"Unfortunately…?"

"You should so spend the night tonight. It's Halo night for your brother and his friends right? I mean he shouldn't care."

She stiffened at the invitation, but quickly hid any worry as she tried to make an excuse "isn't your mom and dad out of town again?"

Hannah just shrugged "Yeah that just means that nanny Aaron will be 'looking after' us, which basically mean out where ever, or in his room playing video games and we can do whatever the hell we want…"

"Yeah, sounds cool." She tried to sound excited about it. " I'll just have to ask though, my brothers' been all paranoid and shit, you know."

"For sure."

Much to her displeasure, her brother consented to her spending the night at Hannah's, but she knew she couldn't tell him she didn't want to go. She also couldn't tell her friend that she didn't want to spend the night either. She was caught between a rock and a hard place. _'I'll be sleeping in Hannah's room. It's not like anything will happen when she's there sleeping next to me…' _That was what she used to tell herself when he first came back in December to keep her mind at ease. Now a days though, she didn't fool herself, she accepted what would happen, and just gave in.

0000

_"Your going where?" Haley asked trying to hide the fear from her voice. It was the first night Haley spent the night at Hannah's since Aaron had come back home to live less than a week ago. _

_"Going to hang out with Todd for a while, cover for me will you?" Hannah asked as she opened the bedroom window, getting ready to climb out._

_"I…yeah sure. Have fun" She smiled weakly. When Hannah left Haley sunk back down in the bed and closed her eyes tightly. 'fuck…' _

_As if it was known that she was now alone, she stopped breathing the second she heard the bedroom door creak slowly open…_

"The night he caged her, bruised and broke her. He struggled closer, then he stole her…"

_0000_

"Haley? You seem more distant that usual." Beverly looked at her from over her glasses.

"Huh?" She snapped back, and tried to stop fidgeting.

"Are you upset that I have decided to try you out on a few mood stabilizing medications?"

"No." She answered quietly.

"Your behavior seems different today. Is there anything you want to talk about?"

'_The fact that I have no control over what happens to my body, and there's no way to stop it?" _

"No. Not really…"

It had been a week so far that Beverly had been working with Haley, and still she wasn't spilling. She had talked to the other's and gathered information. She decided today she would bring out the heavy artillery.

"Violet wrists and then her ankles, silent pain. Then he saw her nightmares were his dreams'…does that sound familiar to you Haley?"

She froze at the words. _'how the hell did she find that? That was a private status.'_

Beverly knew she hit a nerve, a deep one at that. "It was one of your statuses was it not? I have my own theory as to why you put the lyrics to that particular song on your facebook. The song is called 'Monster' is that correct?"

All Haley could do is nod. She could feel her heart pounding in her ears. Feeling herself starting to fade and lose control, she wrapped her left hand around her right forearm and squeezed tightly feeling the dull pain. It brought her back momentarily enough to let Beverly finish her train of thought.

"It's a song about rape…isn't it? It's a song about a young girl forced to do something she is unwilling to. Something that she feels is her fault. The perpetrator is the 'Monster" referred to in the chorus "

Haley didn't hear the last part, she was already in the past.

"_No. This is our little secret." He hissed in her ear. His voice sounded deeper and huskier sounding than it normally was. When his hand wandered up her thigh, and he started to tug at her pajama pants, that was when Haley got scared. Before she could let out a sound, he silenced her with his other hand, muffling her screams. The way he hissed "I'm helping you Haley…it's better you learn this from someone who cares about you..." She could smell the booze on his breath…and see the wicked dilated look of his eyes._

_The rest became a blur mixed with pain. It was the first time she discovered she could leave her body. She remembered calling Penny at five in the morning, begging her to please pick her up. Throwing up in the hallway right outside of the apartment. Assuming she had the flu, she didn't tell them any different. For two years she perfected the art of deceit , and willing herself to forget it the next morning. Shoving the memories down deep into her subconscious where they festered and began to destroy her from the inside out. _

"HALEY!" she heard someone scream her name. When she snapped back she found Leonard practically holding her down on the kitchen floor. He looked at his mother in fury "What the fuck did you do to her? What was that?"

"Leonard stop acting like an idiot. That's what we call dissociation. I did nothing to her, except trigger a memory."

Haley pushed Leonard off her and looked around the room confused "What happened?"

"You started smashing your bad hand in the cabinet door. I had to stop you…"

"Sorry" Haley muttered as Leonard helped her to her feet. He pulled Haley into an embrace "Are you alright?" She nodded. " I just want to go to my room, please?"

"Yeah, sure. I need to talk to my mother anyways."

When Haley disappeared down the hall he turned on her. "I knew this was a bad idea. That you were just going to screw her up even more than she already is" He yelled "God how could Sheldon have been such an idiot to think you would help and find out what's wrong with her."

"You came in after the fact of the matter. All I did was recite lyrics to a song she wrote on her facebook, and she dissociated." She wouldn't tell Leonard that the song was about rape, which caused the instant fragmentation of Haley's mind at that moment. She held firm in her beliefs of doctor/patient confidentiality.

"This is ridiculous. She might be Sheldon's sister and his choice to have her undergo whatever it is the hell you are doing to her, but I'm not going to just sit here and watch you break her."

"She has to break first, in order to heal." She replied packing her bag up for the day. Leonard threw his hands up in the air in frustration and stormed off to his room.

0000

_Haley Marie Cooper: You've been lied to, just to rape you of your site. And now they have the nerve too tell you how to feel. So sedated as they medicate your brain ,and while you slowly go insane they tell ya "Given with the best intentions help you with your complications" You should have known the price of evil and it hurts to know that you belong here. No one to call everybody to fear. Your tragic fate is looking so clear. It's your fuckin' nightmare (April 3 2015) _

Sheldon was at work late that night, and hopped on Facebook to check for any messages from Amy when he saw Haley's status. He sighed as he put his head in his hands. He was homo Novus, he needed to be above such ridiculous feelings, like despair, fear, and confusion, yet that's all that has filled his mind lately. He pushed away from his desk and got his things ready to head home. He knew that's where he needed to be…

0000

Knock knock knock

"Haley"

Knock knock knock

"Haley"

Knock knock knock

"Haley"

"Come in" He heard her say loudly, so he opened the door and entered. Haley sat Indian style on her bed, watching an episode from the third season of Supernatural. He noticed the cigarette in her hand and frowned "I really dislike you smoking."

"Yeah, well I had a shitty day, and I'm not gonna light up and smoke a joint here."

He sat down on the bed next to her "You shouldn't be smoking a 'joint' as you refer to cannabis anywhere. It's illegal."

Haley put her hand to her mouth and gasped, pretending to be shocked "Oh my God! Really?"

"Sarcasm?"

"Yes Sheldon."

"Yes! I am getting good at this!" He smirked at his personal victory, then remembered the reason he came into her room. "I assumed you were not doing well. I saw your status on facebook."

"Oh, so then I assume you obviously knew Leonard's mom was going to be putting me on Prozac _and _Zyprexa?"

He blinked "Well no, She had said that medication was a possibility at some point. I just did not know she had come to that decision as of yet."

"Well she did, thank you so much Sheldon. Now I'm going to be drugged up on antipsychotics and antidepressants for the rest of my life."

"Now Haley, stop being melodramatic." He groaned.

"Melodramatic? I'd like to see how you'd react if someone told you that you were psycho and needed to take medication all the time."

"I'm not crazy, mom had me tested."

"Way to rub it in assclown." Haley muttered.

"Language Haley Marie." He warned "And I am not an ass clown as you say. I'm trying to help you. You refuse to talk to me about anything…"

"Maybe I don't want you trudging around in my brain. All you'll do is open a can of worms that will follow you home if you catch my drift."

"Why on earth would there be a can of worms in your brain?"

"It's a idiom dear brother. It means tripping across a troublesome situation that will effect you as well."

"Oh," He said quietly. Haley went back to watching the show "Hey Sheldon can I have a 66' impala for my sixteenth birthday?"

He arched an eyebrow "Why an impala?"

"So I could look just as badass as Sam and Dean Winchester, duh!"

"Oh the show with the two brothers who hunt ghosts and demons correct?"

"Exactly." She smirked.

"You know I'll be riding along with you then!" Came Leonard's voice from the hall. "Playing awesome friggin tunes!"

"Just remember Leonard "driver picks the music, shotgun shuts their cakehole!" Haley yelled quoting Dean Winchester. Sheldon rolled his eyes and stood up "I'll never see what you two like about that show, but aside from that, I am going to bed. Goodnight."

"Goodnight. Hey Sheldon?" She said as she crawled under her covers and laid down on her pillow.

He turned to look at her "Yes?"

"Did Dr. Hofstadter tell you anything…about today?" She asked nervously.

"Only that she read you some lyrics and you…dissociated." He said in a low voice.

"Oh, ok." She said sounding relieved.

"What were they?"

"Huh? What were what?" She looked at him confused.

"The lyrics. What song did she read you lyrics to?"

"Monster by Meg and Dia" She said slowly.

"I see, well goodnight." He then closed the door behind him, but instead of going to his bedroom he went to the living room and sat down at his laptop. Ignoring the missed skype video chat from Amy, he opened internet explorer and googled the lyrics to 'Monster'.


	7. State of Mind

**( Updated version of Chapter 7)**

**(This chapter is going to be writing from Haley's point of view. It's short because it's just a journal entry but I'm working on chapter eight as we speak while it's all coming to me! Hope you have liked this so far, here comes chapter seven! )**

Chapter seven : State of mind

_Where do I go from here?_

_Or am I just like a clock spinning round _

_Everything seems unclear _

_Confusion is raising it's head _

_And I can't make a sound _

_I feel it tearing at my soul _

_While I'm asleep I feel it _

_driving me to something I'll regret _

_What if I make the change _

_What if I loose all my courage _

_This time Everything seems so strange _

_Try but I can't seem to make a decision _

_That's right I feel it pounding like a drum _

_Inside my brain I feel it _

_If it doesn't stop _

_I'll go insane …_

_~ Merril Bainbridge_

_April 3__rd__ 2015_

_Dear Apollo_

_I was always told that writing in a journal helps with saying shit you need to say, but can't out loud. Well I guess that's why I started you all those years ago…You listen to what I write inside of you…Much to my dislike, Sheldon is making me see a shrink. He's getting close to the truth, and it's really beginning to terrify me. He was just in here, asking questions about things he normally could care less about. Of course I lie and then watch as he exits, closing the door behind him. I am alone once more in my thoughts. How the hell did Dr. Hofstadter know what the song was about? Ok stupid question. I know she could have just googled it and came to her own conclusions. Still, she knows, and I was stupid enough to let her know she hit the nail right on the head. _

_How long will it be before I snap and spill. I can't let that happen. I hate hurting my brother like this. I'm ruining everything for him. His chance at the Nobel Piece Prize, his relationship with Amy. Well scratch that last part, she did that with her constant begging to screw him. It's sick I know. Actually, I don't even want to know. Call me crazy, but I always got the feeling my brother had some sort of weird thing for Penny. If only Penny would see it! Shit! There goes my brain off track again. _

_I can't believe I let it start…again. How the hell did I let it happen to begin with? Now it's been just about four months, and I feel myself losing it. Why is this happening? I always managed to deal with it fine before… I'm talking about the first time and the two years that followed. My question has always been, why me? Why on earth did Aaron chose me, nothing ever happened to Lexi or Hannah, that's for certain. Gotta love the shit he would say when he was doing it. "There's just something about you.." "I want to make you love me." Sick fuck right? _

_Oh, I know I'm right. I'd like to say that nothing happened when Hannah hopped out the window to go sneak off with some guy who's four years older than herself that night back in December, but I'd be lying. I lie too much, and in these pages, I feel I can say whatever I need. After Hannah left, he came into the bedroom. I should have screamed. Should have punched his fucking face in, but I was frozen. Not to mention he's 5'10 and stronger than I am. It had happened for so long before that, you just learn to stop fighting, and let it happen. The stupid thing I did was pretend to be asleep, like that ever works. _

_The first time it happened four years ago, I had thought 'ok he was drunk, maybe it was a misjudgment?' Wrong! Every damn Halo night for the next two years, I was subjected to his carnal desires. So in ending to that, once again the son of a bitch pinned me to the bed and fucked me. Worst part about that, when the asshole was finished he actually had the nerve to say he loved me. Not only a literal fuck but a mind fuck as well. Tell me why he can't find a girlfriend HIS AGE to do this shit for him? Oh, yes. I forgot he's an engineering nerd who moved back to mommy and daddy's because he was too overwhelmed to be away from home. He doesn't look like the nerds like Sheldon and his friends, he's just a loner. Not bad looking per say, just demented. After someone has been taking advantage of you for how many years, its kind of hard to have nice things to say about them. It's not like I find his 'lessons' any helpful, they just created a monster. _

_He got into my head and has remained there ever since. _

_I found out he'll be resuming his classes at Caltech - fucking lovely. He'll be working in the same department as Howard, even better right? _

_I feel like I'm losing my mind. I slip away so often now, even the cutting doesn't help. The voices get louder and louder, they refuse to keep quiet. On top of that I have Bev poking and prodding around my head, trying to find answers I wish to remain unsaid. _

_Am I sick? They claim I am, but I don't see it. Then again, most crazy people would claim they aren't insane. I guess that makes me one of them. Are these feelings normal? The biggest secret I have which has been the bane of my guilt and insanity is a confusing one. My mind use to always scream no, but my body…it's always been a different story. It sickens me how it reacts to his touch, I always feel the need to punish it for its sins. _

_My mind is racing and these cigarettes aren't doing shit to calm me down. I know I should go across the hall and wake Sheldon up, and talk to him, but I can't. This is my burden, my cross that I have to bear. Luckily I have prepared for a day like this. I often stash alcohol under my bed, right now seems like the perfect time to drown all my sorrows away with Jack and Jameson. _


	8. Tubthumping

( **Updated Version of Chapter 8, just a couple minor things. **

**(Oh and a little bit of a random fact. When i envisioned Haley i always seen her as Elle Fanning, Hannah as India Eisley, Aaron as Kyle Gallner... Lexi was a bit more difficult, but for some reason after i saw the movie 'Hick' a month ago, i knew Chloe Grace Moretz made the perfect Lexi. )**

**(We need some funny chapters, and this just so happens to be one. Haley and her friend stumble upon something which gives them the bright idea for a strange setup. I own nothing except Haley and Lexi in this chapter! Enjoy!)**

Chapter eight: Tubthumping

_I get knocked down_

_But I get up again_

_You're never gonna keep me down_

_I __get knocked down_

_But I get up again_

_You're never gonna keep me down_

_~ Chumbawamba_

The rest of the school week was a nightmare for Haley. She started her medications the morning after her little freak out with Dr. Hofstadter and so far all it had been doing is making her feel sick and dizzy. That first day she didn't even make it past lunch, she found herself in the nurses office, with the secretary calling her brother to pick her up. Of course that meant that Leonard had to come get her as well. Surprisingly, Sheldon wasn't upset that this interfered with his work and schedule, he expected her to have side effects.

When Haley saw him come into the office she sunk back into the chair, worried he would scold her. When Sheldon saw her, he walked over to her and knelt down in front of her "Are you ready to go?" She looked at him and nodded "I'm sorry. I threw up and they made me go to the office…"

"It's quite alright. We were at lunch when they called anyways. Dr. Hofstadter said there would be side effects of the medication, so I figured you would be coming home.." He said with a small shrug. Haley went to stand up but immediately felt the room start to spin, so she sat back down with her brothers help. "Balls." She muttered.

"Do you need me to carry you?" He asked as he brushed a stray piece of hair from her face.

"Hell no. I'm too big for that shit."

That was when Leonard chimed in "No offence Haley, but your like five foot nothing, I'm sure he can manage."

"I resent that! Besides the point, that's embarrassing as hell. I'll walk." She got up again and swayed slightly, but managed to remain on her feet. She stalked out the door and heading towards the exit, ever now and then stumbling slight. Sheldon and Leonard followed her. "Why must she be so stubborn…" Sheldon complained.

"She learned it from you." Leonard laughed.

"I cannot deny that…"

When the two got out to the car they saw that Haley had already let herself in and was in the backseat laying down, with her hood covering her face. They drove in silence back to the apartment. Haley was passed out by the time they got there, so Sheldon picked her up and carried her up to the apartment.

"Hurry up Leonard, her small size is deceiving! She's really heavy!"

"Yeah, yeah." He muttered as he turned the key and opened the door, Sheldon quickly slipped past him and went straight to Haley's room. He laid her gently on the bed, and was about to leave when she sat up "Hey Sheldon?"

He turned and looked at her "You were up this _whole_ time?"

"Nah, your whining woke me up."

"Oh, I wasn't 'whining' as you so claim."

"Yeah and I'm not fat you idgit!"

"Your impossible" He sighed.

"Can I ask you something. Please please!"

He walked back over to her and sat down "What ever could it be?"

"Can Lexi spend the night on Saturday? Please!" She put on her best puppy face. "I never have friends over! I'm a girl I need to have sleepovers! You have them!"

"Those are Star Wars and World of Warcraft marathons, completely different."

"Sure they are. Please!"

"Oh come on Sheldon, let her have a little fun. She's been cooped up for weeks. You only let her stay at Hannah's cause it was Halo night." Leonard said, as he stood in the doorway, overhearing the conversation.

He sighed "Oh all right…this should be a hoot." He said glumly.

Haley leaped up and hugged him, startling him with her sudden reaction. "Thank you!"

Sheldon gave Leonard a look that could kill. Well, it was more Sheldon trying to blow up Leonard's head with his brain. Leonard gave him an evil smirk "Going to be an awesome night!"

0000

Lexi had been there for two hours, and already Sheldon had a pounding migraine. The loud screeching, singing, and constant use of the phrases "Oh em gee!" and "For sure" were getting to him. The sad thing about it though, was it wasn't just the teenage girls acting like this. Raj, Howard, Penny and Bernadette were there also. At the moment they were doing karaoke. Oh the horror…

"I know the perfect song! " Haley jumped up from the couch and ran to the machine.

"I can't do screamo Haley!" Raj whined. "Put on Mayday Parade…I really can relate to their songs!"

"That's an understatement" Leonard laughed. He looked at Haley and smiled. He hadn't seen Haley in this good of a mood since, forever. His cell phone buzzed in his pocket, and he looked at it. _'I hope we're still on for tonight. I had to stay late at the lab but I'll be ready by ten. Can't wait to see you!' _Leonard quickly put the phone back into his pocket and looked up. Haley searched for a couple seconds before she found the song. She gave an evil laugh and pressed play. Standing up she grabbed the microphone from Penny and walked to the middle of the room. "This is so about you Raj!" She said pointing to him. He just shook his head and took a long drink of his beer.

She tapped her feet to the beat for the intro of the song before she started singing her own version of 'Stacy's mom' "Lexi's mom has got it going on. She's all I want and I waited for so long!"

"Damn Haley!" Howard fell to the floor laughing. Raj looked horrified " I do not!"

"Oh come the hell on! You were all on that when she dropped Lexi off!" Haley argued.

"Hey Raj my mom _is _single." Lexi winked at him.

"There you go Raj! Get you some!" Penny clapped Raj on the back.

"All on that? What does that even mean?" Sheldon asked confused.

"It means Raj was checking out her ass when she left." Haley said looking at her brother "and it was friggin funny!"

"Oh, Good lord Raj!" He exclaimed and went back to his computer, he couldn't help but smirk.

"Come on Haley! Sing some Carrie Underwood or something!" Penny yelled over the song.

Lexi laughed "No way! You should hear her sing Flyleaf or Paramore, she has some killer vocals for rock!"

"Fuck you Lexi I'm not singing that!" Haley said obviously embarrassed.

"Come on! I'll be backup vocals! It will be just like fourth period!"

"Fourth period?" Bernadette asked.

"Gym, we usually hang out under the bleachers and listen to music. I play guitar and Haley sings" Lexi grinned and then turned to Haley "This bitch right here gots skill."

Haley flipped her off "Not doing it!"

"Do it!" Howard joined in.

"Fine. You guys fucking suck." She groaned.

"I chose the song!" Lexi jumped up and ran over to the machine before Haley could reach it. "Damnit!" Haley muttered. Lexi looked for a few minutes before she made her choice. Haley immediately knew the song, and she looked at Lexi and scowled. She turned with the mic to see them all looking at her expectantly. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and started to sing _" I love the way that your heart breaks with every injustice and deadly it all will be new and living like it all depends on you"_ Leonard nearly spit out the beer he had just taken a drink of. They all expected well something not that great, but Lexi didn't lie. She had 'skill'. He looked at Raj who sat there with his mouth agape. Lexi got up next to Haley and started singing backup to the chorus. The two blended perfectly in harmony.

"_Here you are down on your knees again. Trying to find air to breathe again. And only surrender will help you now. I love you please see and believe again._

_Love that you're never satisfied, with face value wisdom and happy lies. You take what they say and go back and cry. You're so close to me that you nearly died." _Her voice became stronger as she became more comfortable, imaging she was the only one there. Bernadette leaned over to Penny and whispered to her "Did you know she could sing like that?"

Penny just shook her head "No. I thought all she did was skate boarding."

"_Here you are down on your knees again, trying to find air to breathe again, And only surrender will help you now. I love you please see and believe again! They don't have to understand you. Be still! Wait and know I understand you. Be still…Be still._

_Here you are down on your knees again trying to find air to breathe again. Right where I want you to be again. See and believe!" _The song ended and Haley opened her eyes, seeing the expressions of everyone in the room. What she noticed right away was that her brother was watching the whole time. He even closed his laptop to actually listen.

"What the frak what that?" Howard jumped up excitedly. "Jesus Sheldon, keeping this rock star under wraps! How dare you!"

Haley flushed and shook her head "Shut up Howard! It wasn't that good."

"Actually yeah it was." Penny smiled. "You surprise me everyday kid."

"I can see why you get the marks you do in gym…"Sheldon said as he went to open his computer back up, trying to hide his smile.

0000

"That was so friggin embarrassing. I can't believe you made me do that!" Haley whispered loudly. It was two in the morning and the girls were hunting for food in the kitchen quietly.

"I thought it was hilarious!" Lexi laughed.

"Shhhh! We can't wake my brother up!" Haley warned in a low voice. They were sitting on the floor in front of the refrigerator with a buffet of food in front of them.

"Wont your brother know we were up when he see's all this food is gone?"

"Nah. I just blame it on Penny. He's think's she's the one who always steals the milk." She grinned as she chugged the last of the milk down straight from the carton and tossed it in the trash can.

"Evil!" Lexi hissed.

"What else do you expect from the spawn of Satan." She grinned.

Just then they heard the doorknob turn. Haley looked at Lexi "Hide! It's Leonard" She whispered. The two quickly pushed the food underneath the table and ran across the room, hopping over the couch, pressing themselves up against the back. Lexi snorted and Haley slapped her in the arm, putting a finger to her mouth to be quiet.

Leonard entered the apartment, with someone in back of him. "I just need to pick up something, and we'll head back to your apartment. We don't want Sheldon to wake up." He whispered. Lexi raised her head up like a meerkat to see over the couch who he was talking. Haley quickly grabbed her and pulled her back down.

"That would seem more appropriate. I am not ready to inform him yet." The girl said. Haley's eyes widened "No fucking way." She mouthed. It was her turn to poke her head up just to make sure she was correct. Amy Ferrah Fowler stood there talking to Leonard.

"I feel bad though. Not telling him I mean. This is wrong." Haley heard Leonard say to her.

"I know. I promise I will terminate the relationship agreement Sheldon and I have tomorrow."

Lexi had to pull Haley back from jumping over the couch and pouncing on Amy when she saw her kiss Leonard. Haley hit the floor with a thud and the two scrambled to the other side of the couch when Leonard turned on the light "What was that?"

"It probably came from Haley's room. Can we get going?"

"Yeah, let me just get what I needed to get." When he headed towards his room with Amy, the girls once again had to scramble to the other end of the couch to avoid being seen. "That bitch is dead!" Haley seethed.

"Shh here they come again!" Lexi whispered, they didn't have time to move so they just curled up in balls and hoped they wouldn't be seen. Luckily, Leonard wasn't paying attention and after the door closed. Haley popped up. "Oh, man I swear to God I'm going to kill me a hoe!"

"Chill!" Lexi said holding her back once more. "Didn't you say that Sheldon didn't even really like her that way."

"Yeah, but still, no one cheats on my brother."

"We should set up a little payback then." Lexi said with an evil grin. Haley settled down and looked at her "What do you mean?"

"Well why not get Sheldon to go for Penny? That's Amy's bestie it will hurt like a bitch!"

Haley laughed "Yeah, like my brother will ever do that. I mean I think he likes her, but she doesn't see him the same way."

"I call bullshit on that." Lexi replied.

"How so?"

"Dude look at the two of them. They already argue like an old married couple. Every time I come over here them two are ready to rip each others' throats out…perhaps pent up passion? I also caught him looking at her, quite a few times last night."

Haley thought about this for a moment. "You have a point. Well lets go ask her."

"Now? It's almost three in the morning!"

"Who cares! I'm wide awake now." She swung the door open and walked over to Penny's apartment and started to knock. Haley had her own knock which was pretty much her knocking out random songs till Penny answered the door. She opened the door and looked at the two girls "What the hell is wrong? It's damn near 3 am."

"We got some juicy information for you!" Haley jumped up and down.

"Oh God what now?" She groaned and moved aside to let the two giddy girls inside. She looked at them bouncing up and down and shook her head "What the hell are you two on?"

"Nothing. We found Sheldon's chocolate stash. You know the stuff he uses to try and condition you."

"What? I thought he stopped that!" Penny said loudly.

"Besides the point! Guess who Leonard brought home tonight, then left suddenly to go back to their apartment."

"I don't care! Me and Leonard have been broken up for over a year now. He can date anyone he wants."

"What if I told you it's your bestie?"

Penny looked at her in disbelief "Amy! You got to be shitting me!"

"Snap!" Lexi added.

"Nope not shitting, we seen it with our own eyes. I would have pounded the living shit outta her, but this bitch held me back." She said nodding towards Lexi.

Penny sat down "Oh my God…poor Sheldon."

"Yeah, not so much, cause you see we've noticed something."

"What?"

Before Haley spoke she reached into her pajama pants pocket and pulled out her cigarettes, lighting one up. She took a few puffs, while Penny rolled her eyes. Haley then began with her best impersonation of 'the godfather' "I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse." She started laughing when Penny looked at her confused "I'm just fucking with you. You see Sheldon likes you. Well at least we think he does."

"He does." Lexi reassured her. Haley tossed the pack of cigarettes to Lexi and she took one out for herself.

"That's a joke." Penny laughed.

"Normally it would be, but we're serious. We also think you like him."

Penny looked at them "what? N-no…I mean no. no I don't"

"What's with that stu-stu-stutter there Pen?" Lexi eyed her, as she hopped up on the kitchen counter.

"I don't have a stutter. I mean yeah your brother is cute, but this is _Sheldon, _we're talking about. Mr. Homo Novus remember?"

"Yeah… I call bullshit on that one too by the way." Lexi said to Haley.

"You do, do you?" Penny looked at Lexi.

"Uh, yeah. Dude, he stares at you all the time. He likey what he sees."

Penny rolled her eyes "Sure. If you two are correct about this. How do you suppose I approach him about it? Tell him his little sister and her best friend had some crazy ass idea while hyped up on chocolate?"

Haley shook her head "My dear Penny. You're the big ol' five. I'm sure you can come up with something."

"How the hell do you know about that?" She said shocked.

"I have ears I can hear everything those guys say." She grinned evilly.

"What on earth are you girls doing!" the voice made Lexi fall off the counter onto the floor. Sheldon was standing in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest, looking at them. Haley turned around and smiled "Heeeey Shelly. We were bored so we came to hang out with Penny."

"At three in the morning?"

"Of course." She looked at her brother for any signs that he might have heard what was being said, but when he didn't mention anything Haley looked at Lexi and gave a nod.

"I apologize for the inconvenience Penny. You two need to go to bed now."

"Think about that proposition we've given you." Haley said with a wink and left. Lexi stood up and walked out the door past Sheldon, she turned to look at Penny and raised her hand to her face like a phone and mouthed "call me!" When the disappeared into the other apartment Penny rolled her eyes "You might want to hide that chocolate of your better."

"What chocolate?"

"Oh you know, the chocolate you still use to try and condition me with."

"Wait, what?" He said in shock, but before he could explain Penny just smiled sweetly at him "Goodnight moon pie! Good luck with that over there!" and shut the door.


	9. Everything is alright

**(Updated Version of Chapter nine)**

**(This chapter has a mixture of light and dark moments. The song at the end are lyrics to the song Fee Fi fo by The Cranberries. Despite dealing with her inner issues, Haley and her friend devise a plot to get Sheldon and Penny together. While at it they figure they might as well play matchmaker for Raj as well**

**I own nothing, well except Haley and Lexi once again in this chapter!)**

Chapter nine: Everything is alright

_I'm sick of the things I do when I'm nervous_  
><em>Like cleaning the oven or checking my tires<em>  
><em>Or counting the number of tiles in the ceiling..<em>  
><em>Head for the hills, the kitchen's on fire!<em>

_I used to rely on self-medication,_  
><em>I guess I still do that from time to time.<em>  
><em>But I'm getting better at fighting the future,<em>  
><em>"Someday you'll be fine.."<em>  
><em>Yes, I'll be just fine.<em>

_~Motion City Soundtrack_

"What happened to all the milk?" Sheldon asked as he shut the fridge in dismay. Lexi looked at Haley wide eyed as they sat on the couch watching music videos. The two were singing along to some morbid song _"I can keep you looking young and preserved forever, with a fountain to spray on your youth whenever, 'Cause I really always knew that my little crime would be cold that's why I got a heater for your thighs, and I know, I know it's not your time, but bye, bye and a word to the wise when the fire dies you think it's over but it's just begun, but baby don't cry."_

Haley just shrugged "Penny did it."

"Drat! That woman is insufferable at times." He complained.

"I'll bet." Haley muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing at all." She said quickly.

"Did she also shove all that food under the table last night as well?" He asked as he went to sit down in his spot next to Haley.

"Damn that woman." Lexi said in a stern voice.

He looked at the TV and shook his head "What on earth are you two listening to?"

"Avenged Sevenfold."

Sheldon looked at her quizzically and shook his head. Leonard came through the door a few minutes later, when he saw them sitting there he looked down and attempted to walk to his room without them noticing he was wearing the same clothes he had on last night.

"Looks like Penny's walk of shame. What did _you _do last night you little slut!" Haley looked at him, and he saw behind her sweet smile. What she was really saying was '_Gotcha fucker!' _

"I was out on a date…" He said in a low voice.

"Looks like someone got laid" Lexi drawled.

"Haley, Alexis, that is no way for girls' to talk at your age!" Sheldon exclaimed, outraged. "Though it is quite obvious he had coitus with someone last night."

Leonard sighed and walked off to his room, covering his ears from the "whoop whoops" "get you somes' and demeaning whistles the girls were verbally throwing at him.

Sheldon scowled at them, but truthfully he was amused at how they embarrassed Leonard.

There was a knock on the door, and Haley slipped off the couch and went to answer the door to find Penny standing there still in her skimpy pajama's and robe, holding an empty carton of milk. "Good morning you guys. Hey Sheldon, you wouldn't happen to have any milk would you?"

He looked at her confused "Well you should know the answer to that, given the fact that you raided our refrigerator last night and drunk the last of it." He paused "And may I ask, are you out of food as well, because you surely made a mess here scavenging. There were wrappers and bowls all over the floor, hidden underneath the table."

Penny just looked at him "What the? No I wasn't even here last night. Ask these two, they were the ones up all night."

Sheldon glared at Haley, who just shrugged her shoulders "We were hungry…"

He sighed "I apologize for accusing you."

"It's ok." Penny tried to ignore the winks and hand motions the girls were making at her, while Sheldon was oblivious to them. "Well I'll just have to go to the store then. Want me to pick you up some milk as well?"

"That would be nice."

"Alright. See you later."

Haley looked at Lexi with a smirk "An offer she can't refuse." She said in her 'Godfather' voice. Lexi just fell over laughing, while Sheldon looked at her confused "What are you going on about?"

"Absolutely nothing." She replied with an innocent smile.

0000

"Haley, remember to come home straight after school tomorrow. You have another appointment with Dr. Hofstadter." Sheldon turned around in his computer chair to look at her. She was sitting on the couch stringing together some beads to make new bracelets. She looked up at him and sighed "ok." Her mood plummeted as soon as Lexi got picked up earlier that day. Even Sheldon noticed this sudden change in her. "Are you alright?"

'_no. In a few more days is Wednesday...Halo night. I hate Halo night' _"Yeah, thanks for letting me have Lexi over." She smiled weakly at him.

"Your welcome. I must admit, although it gave me a migraine…it was nice to see you…happy."

Those words stung her. She found herself putting her beadwork down and slipping off the couch, walking over to him. She peered over his shoulder and saw what he was reading.

_Haley Marie Cooper: Her feelings she hides. Her dreams she can't find. She's losing her mind. She's fallen behind. She can't find her place. She's losing her faith. She's fallen from grace. She's all over the place…." (April 7 2015)_

_Haley Marie Cooper: She never slows down. She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all alone, feels like its all coming down. She won't turn around. The shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear, the tears will not stop raining down._

_She won't make a sound. Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall down. She wants to be found. The only way out is through everything she's running from wants to give up and lie down. (April 7th 2015)_

"I'm sorry…" She choked, trying to keep herself from breaking down in front of him.

"Why do you keep apologizing for things that are not your fault?" He said in a tone Haley could only decipher as distress. Haley leaned down slightly (he was fairly tall even sitting) and wrapped her arms around his neck hugging him. He didn't stiffen up like he normally did around everyone else, instead he hugged her back tightly. "It is my fault though…" She said quietly, no longer able to keep the tears from falling. Sheldon closed his eyes and sighed. He then pulled her into his lap like he used to when she was little, and wrapped his arms around her tightly. "No its not." Haley buried her face against him and broke down completely. It tore him apart inside to see her going through such inner turmoil. Something he hadn't experience before, not even when their mother and grandmother had died. "Please don't cry Haley." he whispered to her, as he began to stroke her hair softly.

"My mind hurts." She said in a muffled voice. "They won't shut up."

"Who won't?" He was genuinely confused at that point.

"The voices…" She pulled back to look at him. He stared at her seriously. Those bright blue eyes that matched his own, had lost their life. All that remained was fear. "They are always there.…they tell me to do things I know I shouldn't do. Is this what happens to people who go insane? Do they reach a point of no return?" with the hand that was stroking her hair, he gently brought her back against him and shook his head "You are not insane. Please Haley, talk to me…"

"I want to…but I cant." She sobbed. He was getting so close to his own breaking point, but he knew he had to remain strong at this point. "Want me to sing you soft kitty?"

"I'm not sick though…"

"What you are feeling is a kind of sickness…" He replied gently to her. A video chat invitation from Amy popped up at that moment, and Sheldon glanced at it for a moment, before he clicked off it and shut the laptop. He then started to sing "_Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur…"_

0000

It took a few hours before Sheldon finally accepted Amy's video chat invitation. Something at the time he didn't want to do, but felt obligated to do so.

"Hello Sheldon." Amy said with a nervous smile.

"Hello Amy. How are you?"

"I am doing quite alright. I thought it is the appropriate time to discuss our relationship paradigm."

'_Here she goes with complaining about my lack of intimacy with her." _

"Alright."

" I have decided to terminate our relationship due to a violation in section eight; paragraph thirteen."

Sheldon thought it through, and immediately remember what particular section that Amy was in fact referring to. "That section says the relationship can be terminated if one of both parties have an interest in someone other than the person they are in the contract with."

"Correct. I'm sorry Sheldon. I have found someone else."

He stared at the computer screen slightly surprised "Well that was rather quick."

"I also feel obligated to inform you that the person I am referring to is Leonard."

"Is this a bazinga?" He was really in shock now. He didn't even think Leonard and Amy even talked.

"I'm afraid not. I am truly sorry."

"It is quite alright" He finally said after a few moments of silence. "Well good day to you Amy Ferrah Fowler."

"Good day Sheldon." and with that she ended the chat.

0000

Haley smirked as she overheard the entire conversation while sitting up against the wall in the hallway. Pulling out her cell phone, she sent a text to Lexi…

_Haley_: "_Game on." _

_Lexi: "Operation - Perfect Situation is a go?"_

_Haley: "Affirmative." _Haley held a hand to her mouth to stop herself from cracking up at the name the two had chosen for the mission. The girl's were listening to Weezer when the idea struck them earlier that day.

_Lexi: "This is going to be epic! Btw, my mom thinks Raj is hot." _

_Haley: "Perhaps we can hit two birds with one stone"_

_Lexi: "Lets! J "_

Haley then proceeded to send Penny a two word text.

_Haley: "Show time." _

_0000_

Penny was watching TV when her cell phone started to vibrate. She dug it out of her sweater, read Haley's text, and rolled her eyes. "Oh Haley, if only you knew how impossible this is going to be."

She then got a text from Amy:

"_I terminated the relationship agreement Sheldon and I were in. I am currently seeing Leonard. I hope you are not mad bestie!" _

She was upset, but not because it was Leonard she was seeing. She couldn't believe Amy would do something like that to Sheldon after four years! She didn't express these feelings though, instead she wrote back:

"_I'm not mad. Congrats you two! I'm glad your happy!" _

She knew she needed to go see Sheldon, to make sure he was alright. Sure, this was Whackadoodle Dr. Sheldon Cooper, but he was human, as much as he denied it. There was a very good chance he was upset about this. Just one of a few things going wrong at this time. She got up from the couch and walked over to apartment 4A, knocking on the door. Sheldon answered on the third knock, "Hello Penny." He sounded like his normal self, but Penny wanted to be sure. He moved aside to let her through the door. Penny sat on the opposite side of the couch where Sheldon's spot was. Sheldon, however went back to his seat in front of his computer. It was more quiet than usual, so Penny assumed Haley was in her room, pretending to be sleeping.

"I heard about Amy…I'm so sorry sweetie." She began.

"Thank you for your concern, but I am perfectly fine. Besides I have far more greater things to worry about then pleasing Amy in ways that she knows I am uncomfortable with."

"Your work…and well what's all going on with Haley?" Penny asked.

"Though my work is in fact extremely important to me. I have been preoccupied with Haley's issues. It effects me in a way I have never experienced before…"

"Care to talk about it?" She knew she was pushing him slightly to explain feelings he constantly claimed he didn't have, but she knew it would help him if he would stop fooling himself.

"I find myself checking my sister's facebook often. Looking up lyrics to the songs she listens to. Attempting to read between the lines with what she says…I feel so frustrated that I can't solve this problem. "

"You can't look at this like an equation Sheldon. It doesn't work that way."

"I know, but that is how my brain has always functioned…She says she wants to tell me, but she can't…"

"I think if she keeps working with Beverly, she will be able to. Don't worry." She smiled, "Come over here and sit why don't you."

Sheldon shrugged "I guess it is pointless to continue working at this time of night. It's not like I can concentrate any who." He closed the laptop and walked over to the couch sitting in his spot. Grabbing the remote he turned on the TV and switched to the SyFy channel. Star Trek was on, that made him smile.

Penny looked at him and grinned. She then felt her phone vibrate and she pulled it out seeing a message from Lexi:

_Lexi: Bow Chicka Brown Cow! Get it girl!"_

"How the hell?" She said aloud.

Sheldon looked at her "What?"

"Nothing. I just got a weird text from Haley's little friend." She said quickly shoving it back into her sweater, looking around the room. _'I swear to God those girls are as stealthy as ninjas." _She thought.

"Those two were acting really odd last night" He commented, eyes never leaving the TV.

"Oh you don't even know…"

"_Were they right? Does Sheldon actually…like me? It's not like he ever made any hint of it, unless he did…in his own way. Damn it! What have I gotten myself into?" _She thought as the two sat there in silence watching Star Trek: the next generation.

0000

Wednesday came too soon for Haley. She knew she could always fake an illness to let Sheldon keep her home, but instead she went. She hated how obedient she had became. How the years have taken their toll, and she found herself on her knees in submission.

Haley laid in Hannah's bed, turning the channels, watching as her friend was getting dressed to sneak out. Haley glanced over at her and just shook her head "You're parents would kill you if they ever caught you doing this."

Hannah let out a laugh as she pulled a hoodie over her head "They'd have to be around in order to actually catch me, you know."

"Aren't you afraid Aaron will rat you out?" Her eyes lit up when she came across a newer episode of Wilfred, and she set the remote down next to her.

"Nope."

"Why not?" She peeled her eyes away from the television to look over at her.

"Because I know things that he doesn't want our parents to know."

"Like?"

"He didn't just leave college, he got kicked out. Paid me to tear up the letter when it got mailed here."

"He's like super smart though…" Haley arched an eyebrow at her '_Who really cares if he got kicked out…the only thing that matters is he's not going anywhere now, and you're fucked royally!"_

"I know, but I have a theory that he probably got too into man-whoring and drinking and didn't give a shit about his grades…"

"If that's the reason that's stupid…" _'Other girls? Who cares…I surely don't…' "_Doesn't he have a year left to go on his bachelors?" '_I hate that I know all this crap about him…Of course he always tries to talk afterwards like what he does to me is natural." _

"I guess so" Hannah shrugged. "we don't really talk. We have an understanding. He does his thing and I do mine."

After Hannah threw her shoes on she headed to the door "I probably won't be back till late."

"It's ok. Have fun." Haley gave her a fake smile, and watched her leave.

'_Maybe if you didn't fight so much it wouldn't be so bad…" _The man's voice hissed.

"I can't, that would be letting it happen…then I would just be a whore…" She argued with herself.

" _You can't deny that you had to catch yourself…the thought of him with other girls…it gets to you…"_

"I said I don't care…" She yelled a bit too loudly. A bit too much in her own world, Haley didn't even notice that Aaron had came into the room, closing the door behind him.

"Don't care about what?" His voice made her jump suddenly into reality.

"Nothing…just conversing with myself…" Haley answered dully, as she kept her eyes focused on the Television.

He sat down on the bed and leaned in close to her. Instinctively Haley shrank back into the bed out of habit. He reached out and touched her hair, trailing his fingers down her neck, going lower and lower. "I see we're not going to fight tonight…good." He whispered in her ear. Haley noticed how he would turn into a totally different person when he was like this. Evil would have been Haley's best description, and whatever this Aaron wanted; he got. She tried to will herself into nothingness. To the place where she didn't remember or feel, but it never came...

"_Don't carry me under. You're the devil in disguise. God sing for the hopeless. I'm the one you left behind…"_

0000

Beverly noted the significant changes in Haley's mood from Monday to Wednesday, as she sat there in front of her. Monday she was nervous and agitated. Her flow of speech was rapid and frenzied. Beverly observed this as an obvious manic episode. The constant tapping of her feet and inability to sit still. Fleeting thoughts and a dread that was apparent in her tone. Today, she was withdrawn. Out of touch with reality.

"Haley, I would like to discuss what happened last week." She said putting down her notepad. Haley looked up at her and nodded. She was writing in a notebook, during the whole session so far.

Beverly knew what she was going to say. How the girl was going to react, was something she didn't know. She knew she hit a nerve on the mentioning of rape. She had to admit, it was not what she at first hypothesized was the cause of Haley's psychological break. Knowing this child since she was five, her son had a hand in raising her; it never crossed her mind. Then Penny showed her a printed copy of Haley's facebook statuses, and the one stood out. It was a long shot, but she went with it. Kids' now a days put lots of disturbing material on the internet that had no reference to them. Songs in general, just because they like the group or band who wrote it. Yet, when she quoted the lyrics, it was the catalyst of a dissociative episode, one in which Haley engaged in an attempt at self harm while somewhere else in her mind. A memory perhaps? She knew it was not the immediate core of people in her life. Her brother and his friends were out of the question. The change in her behavior, pointed to something occurring in the time that Haley was away from home. Today, she was aiming to get the truth.

"The victimization of a child, is a sensitive subject. A tragic one at that." She began, speaking in a way she normally wouldn't, but given that Haley was a thirteen year old girl, she needed to get through to her, noticing for any reaction in Haley. She sat there quietly though, still writing, so she continued. "It is often a family member, or acquaintance, who is the perpetrator. A person the child knows. Perhaps even trusts. It's a crossing of boundaries that should never be crossed. The violation of a child in a sexual way can have many effects on her life. A life of hiding and lies begins. She is afraid to tell what has happened, because she is ashamed, so she becomes an artist of deceit to those around her. She feels its her fault this has happened to her. She tries to find methods to make her forget. She wills herself to leave her body, when confronted with situations that remind her of what occurs, just as she does when it is happening. The only problem is, these episodes then start to occur at times when she wishes them not to. She needs to find something to bring her back, in a sense. Inflicting pain…bleeding, it pulls her back into her body. She feels disgusted with herself, and turns to alcohol and drugs, in order to quiet her mind. She wants to speak out, but she is afraid of the consequences. Afraid of hurting those close to her, because she still believes it is her fault. It's not." She looked at Haley, who started to fidget slightly, nothing out of the ordinary in that sense. What she noticed, was the hand that wasn't writing was balled into a fist.

"I think that is enough for today." Beverly said finally after ten minutes of silence. She couldn't force her to talk, and she had barely said two words the whole session. Haley got up and placed the notebook on the couch. She then quietly went into her bedroom and closed the door.

Beverly looked at the time, it was nearly 7 O'clock. After four hours of trying, she was frustrated that she still had nothing solid. After packing her bag, she got up and was about to head to the door when she glanced at the notebook Haley left. She walked over to the couch and picked it up. Her eyes widened and she looked down the hall towards Haley's closed door. Written down was the truth, in the hands of a thirteen year old girl. Using the only form of communication she knew how to do. The lyrics to a song:

"_Fee fi fo she smells his body. She smells his body, And it makes her sick to her mind. He has got so much to answer for, To answer for, To ruin a child's mind. how could you touch something so innocent and pure? Obscure. How could you get satisfaction from the body of a child? You're vile, sick. It's true what people say…God protect the ones who help themselves in their own way It's true what people say God protect the ones who help themselves in their own way. he was sitting in the bedroom, in the bedroom, And now what should she do? She's got so much insecurity, And his impurity It was a gathering gloom…How could you touch something so innocent and pure? Obscure. How could you get satisfaction from the body of a child? You're a vile, sick. it's true what people say, God protect the ones who help themselves in their own way, And I often wondered to myself: Who protects the ones who can't protect themselves?"_

Beverly sat down on the couch and braced herself for the next move. If not getting Haley to admit her brother what happened, she knew she would have to tell him herself. This was something she had not prepared for when she agreed to this.


	10. Masterpiece

(Here is another entry from Haley's journal. This is written right after Dr. Hofstadter had left. Chapter eleven is going to follow right after! )

Chapter ten: Masterpiece

You can't erase these. Lines you can't save me. You can't display me. You know what dismay means. I can't even try to. Remember what I knew. Before I became your. Model to claim no. I am no masterpiece where innocence is painted green. Isn't it strange to think how you created all of me?I grew tired. You expired. You finished me. Now that I'm all that you planned. What do you think?Done by the hands of a broken artist. You painted black where my naked heart is. I finally know what wrong is. Now I finally know that you bleed for nothing. Carved like a stone with your hands still shaking. On display through a soul still breaking. Aren't you proud you're the one that made me?

"Masterpiece - Meg and Dia"

_April 13th 2015,_

_So now Bev knows what is going on. I don't know what came over me to let it happen. I just left those lyrics laying there on the couch for her to read. I know stupid as hell right? Now I'm just sitting here freaking out that at any moment she's going to call Sheldon and tell him. What the hell am I going to do? Their going to want to know everything, the who, what, when, the where and the how. I can't tell them it's Aaron. He'll go to jail, Hannah will hate me, and then the whole damn school will find out and I will be that girl who got Hannah's brother put in prison. Yeah, no thanks. My life is already difficult, I don't want to be a social outcast. _

_Once again Hannah felt the need to sneak out and fool around with that Todd fool, while I had to stay there and cover for her. You can imagine what happened. I punished myself this morning for my actions. I hate that I am going to be writing this in you, but if I don't get it out it will drive me even more psycho than I already am. Oh and by the way medications don't help with shit! Anyways, on Wednesday, when he was having his way with me. I couldn't stop my body and mind from reacting, and he noticed. _

_Made me sick to my stomach the things he started to say. "See I knew you like this." and that cliché phrase "Your mouth might say no but your body is saying yes." I hate him…and then he had the nerve to say that he dropped out of college back east because he "needed" me? Um, excuse me? Why on earth would you need me? I sure as hell don't need you. Wait, I shouldn't lie… What I just said before, that's a lie. What I hate even more…is that I do need him. That his way of trying to get me to care for him just might be working. _

_I thought I was going to just…go away like I always do…but I didn't. This time it didn't happen. When he touched me…I found myself wanting more…I hate myself for wanting him to touch me…For the way my stomach did flip-flops… _

_This is wrong on so many levels. I know there's a special place in hell that's reserved for people like me. _

_I know if my mom was alive she'd say I was a sinner. I was little, but I remembered how she would yell at Missy, telling her she dressed like a harlot. That she was a sinner because she had sex all the time, but wasn't married. Missy was in her twenties though…just look at me. I just turned thirteen a couple months ago…and I haven't been a virgin in years. Sometimes I wonder if I ever was pure and innocent._

_Perhaps I have always been damned. Destined to suffer in misery and agony within the depths of hell with the devil himself. _

_I hope he's proud he's the one that made me. Made me into what I am..._

_Sometimes I wish just for once Sheldon would say no. Break this one routine and save me…because at this moment…I don't think I'll ever be able to save myself…_

_On my birthday, I tried something that Tyson gave me at the beach. He said it was called "Crank", but I knew damn well it was Crystal Meth. I heard Penny talk about her older brother a few times. He got sent to jail for a long time because he used to cook it in their garage. It was never in a serious way, more humoristic. Penny of course knew that my brother, his friends and herself would never be that stupid to use Meth. That doesn't mean that the little child who would constantly overhear them wouldn't. _

_For the first time in a forever, I felt ALIVE. It was like this sudden adrenaline rush that burned like fire as it raced up my nose, hitting my brain at full force. I sat there pretending that it didn't effect me, but the problem I soon learned about crank is that loves digging your deepest, darkest lies and deceptions, truths from within. This feeling lasted till I crashed two days later. I remember bits and pieces…a lot is fuzzy. Not in the same way as when I would go away, but different. I liked this. I felt so free, and like I was who I am supposed to be. Needless to say...i have tried it more than a few times.._

_Sheldon would kill me if he ever found out…but I already tell him enough lies, so I guess one more couldn't hurt. My brother is happy, I'd like to keep him that way. _


	11. Perfect Situation

**(Updated version of chapter eleven) **

**(The girls finally put their operation into action, what better way to loosen a Sheldon up than with a few spiked drinks? Hope you enjoy it! I own nothing, except Haley and Lexi)**

Chapter eleven: Perfect Situation

_What's the deal with my brain? _

_Why am I so obviously insane? _

_In a perfect situation _

_I let love down the drain._

_There's the pitch, slow and straight._

_All I have to do is swing and I'm the hero,_

_but I'm the zero. _

_Hungry nights, once again _

_Now it's getting unbelievable. _

_'Cause I could not have it better, _

_But I just can't get no play _

_From the girls, all around _

_As they search for someone to hold onto. _

_I just pass through..._

~ Weezer

A few days later Lexi and Haley were alone in the apartment working on the mission at hand. She knew she had spilled the beans to Beverly that night she left the notebook on the couch. That whole night she was scared shitless Sheldon would get a call from her, telling him everything. Surprisingly though, nothing had happened. Maybe, she could really trust Leonard's mom. That night she was in a good mood, Sheldon actually asked Haley if she wanted Lexi to spend the night again. She was glad, it gave them time to put operation: Perfect Situation into play.

"I think we should get Sheldon drunk, I mean just look at this shit. Its friggin hilarious, and obviously he lets loose when he has a few." Lexi said as she was watching the infamous youtube video titled "Physicist melts down." Haley shook her head in shame. "I was there. Not a pretty sight. He only had like, three glasses of wine and he was trashed."

"Damn, really?" She laughed "Sad…you can drink your thirty five year old brother under the table."

"I can drink Penny under the table if I put my mind to it." She smirked. " I guess I take after my dad and oldest brother when it comes to alcohol tolerance."

"You mean their mean ass drunks too?"

"Hey! Only whiskey makes me that way!" She argued. "Stop getting off subject. I don't think it's a good idea, I mean we don't want him to not remember it, or worse actually remember it and freak out and completely ignore Penny."

"Nah. The truth comes out when your drunk….and high…hey! " Lexi began but Haley shook her head. "Yeah, how about NO!" She didn't even want to think about how catastrophic _that_ would be.

"Just kidding. We could just spike his drinks."

"How do you propose we do that?"

"The spawn of Satan can't think of a way? Just offer to get his drinks for him, hide the booze in the cabinet and pour when he's not looking."

"And where will we get the booze?"

"Haley, you know your drunk ass always has a bottle of something under your bed."

Haley thought for a moment and then disappeared down the hall. She came back a few minutes later with three bottle in her arms. "Stoli!"

"Perfect. Now we get Penny to come over. We get him drunk enough and quietly exit the scene."

Haley put two of the bottles down on the table, "Worth a shot. Just hope he doesn't strike out." She looked at the bottle of Vodka and shrugged , twisting the cap off and taking a drink.

"Hal. I don't even think he knows how to swing the bat. That's what booze is for. Oh, Pour some in each of the cups so we don't have to do it in front of him."

"Good idea." they then proceeded to take out each of the glasses and fill them quarter full with Vodka, placing them back in their exact spots after they were finished. When they were finished Haley looked at Lexi

"Hey so what about your mom and Raj?"

"Oh I already took care of that. Those two are going out on a date tonight" She grinned.

"Impressive."

They heard someone coming up the stairs. Haley quickly capped the bottle. "Shit! It's Sheldon! Begin phase one!" She hid the empty bottles of Stoli in the cabinet that had the cleaning supplies. Lexi sent a text to Penny:

_Lexi: "Get your ass here, now!" _

Penny wrote back a couple minutes later

_Penny: "I wont be off for three more hours yet, what's going on?"_

_Haley: "Oh nothing, just giving Sheldon a little push, that's all. "_

_Penny: "Do I want to know?"_

_Haley: "prolly not, your gonna have to check this out!" _

Sheldon walked in accompanied by Leonard and Howard. Leonard looked at Haley and Lexi and arched an eyebrow, at the fact the girls were already in their pajama's at 7pm. "Another sleepover?"

"Yes Leonard, I figured that you were right, that she needed to have some fun as you said." Sheldon replied to him, as he set his messenger bag on the floor next to the couch and sat down in his spot.

"Sweet!" Howard exclaimed, "You girls having fun?" He sat down on the other side of the couch.

"Oh, yeah." Haley looked at Lexi and Lexi gave her a wink. Leonard noticed this and knew something was up. He sat down and turned to look at them. "We're going to be playing the Wii, want to play with us?"

"Sure. Do you guys want anything to drink?" Haley asked, putting her hands behind her back. Sheldon looked at his sister in surprise "Well that certainly is nice of you Haley."

"Well I mean you guys worked all day, it's the least we could do right Lex?"

"Oh, yeah totally."

"I'd like a mountain dew." Howard said as he settled back into the couch.

"Same for me." Leonard, looked at them strangely.

"I think I would like some orange juice. I want to mix it up today." He said with a breathy laugh.

"Perfect." Haley smiled slightly and went to the kitchen and opened the fridge getting out the soda's and Orange juice. Lexi was right behind her " Start the night off with a screwdriver shall we?" She laughed slightly. Haley looked behind her and saw the three were already in deep conversation about something and were no longer paying attention to them. "Yes indeed." Haley opened the cabinet and pulled out one of the glasses that contained the vodka. She poured the juice into it and moved the cup around in a circular motion to mix them together. Lexi took the cans of soda and walked over to Leonard and Howard, giving them each one. Haley brought Sheldon's drink to him. "Here you go."

"Thank you Haley." He took it from her and took a sip, making a face "This taste different. Did you check to see if it was expired?"

"You bought it on Monday…" She said shrugging her shoulders. Lexi grabbed a Vodka laced cup out of the cabinet and poured the orange juice. She took a few big drinks and looked at them "Tastes fine to me."

"I guess my taste buds are off. I sure hope I'm not getting sick…" He said in a worried tone, but went on to take another drink. Haley went and got herself some cranberry juice that she poured into one of the tainted glasses. She was going to need it to keep a straight face through this.

Two hours later, and three bottles of Stoli (most of it was drunk by Haley and Lexi mixed with various juices) Sheldon was obviously intoxicated. After a half hour and two glasses later Leonard had come up to them:

"_Ok what did you spike those drinks with?" He looked at Haley. Haley shrugged her shoulders "Oh nothing, just a little Stoli Vodka." She gave him her infamous evil grin. His looked at her with his mouth open in shock, he then looked back at Sheldon who was trying to keep focus on the game. Leonard look at Haley and smiled "let me give him the next glass." _

"I do not understand how my vision has become so impaired…" Sheldon slurred as he squinted at the TV. At that point Howard was also let in on the joke, and he was loving it.

"I can see just fine. Oh! Look I kicked your ass _again!" _Normally Sheldon would have been extremely pissed that he had lost, instead he just laughed and looked at him "I let you win little one!"

Haley and Lexi were sitting on the counter listening to music. It wasn't until Sheldon started singing along to Motion City Soundtrack that they realized just how smashed he was.

"_I'm sick of the things I do when I'm nervous like cleaning the oven or checking my tires, Or counting the number of tiles in the ceiling… Head for the hills, the kitchen's on fire! I used to rely on self-medication, I guess I still do that from time to time. But I'm getting better at fighting the future, "Someday you'll be fine.." Yes, I'll be just fine."_ Lexi nudged Haley and pointed to Sheldon "He's fucking wasted!" She started laughing, she herself was drunk.

"I know right? Who knew he actually paid attention to the music I listen to. Let alone know the lyrics. Its weird…" She shook her head.

"This is hilarious!" Lexi shrieked loudly.

Haley made a face at her "Dude! Stop it! They just think we're getting Sheldon drunk, not that we're drinking too!" She whispered to her.

"OH! Sorry" She said loudly. Haley punched her in the arm.

"Hey Haley! Play that one song!" He said excitedly, his eyes not leaving the game.

"What one?"

"That one about burning pictures he shouldn't have taken in the first place."

"If you wanted a song written about you, all you had to do is ask?"

Sheldon looked at her confused "Why would I want a song written about me?"

Haley groaned and face palmed herself. "That's the name of the song."

"Oh" He let out a breathy laugh, and then went serious "That's a stupid name for a song."

Haley leaned close to Lexi "Ok, when Sheldon requests to listen to a Mayday Parade song, that's when we cut him off."

Lexi nodded "Oh yeah…" She searched through the ipod and found the song Sheldon wanted to hear and pressed play. She went back to talking to Haley. "You gotta admit though, they write the best breakup songs."

"Can you get me another juice Haley?" He asked, "I would get it myself, but I seem to get dizzy every time I get up."

"I think I'm cutting you off." Haley slipped off the counter and tossed her plastic cup into the sink.

"It's just juice silly girl!" He drawled, his Texan accent apparent at that point.

"Three fourths juice, one fourth Vodka." She opened the cabinet and grabbed out the bottles, holding them up to show him. "See?"

His mouth dropped "You spiked my drinks? Oh Lord, how did I drink all of _that, _without knowing." He dropped the controller.

"Actually you maybe drunk like half a bottle, the rest was me and Lexi…"

"Your drunk too?" He was bewildered.

"Hell no, this bitch here is trashed," She pointed to Lexi whole was giggling like an idiot. "I have a very high tolerance…so I'm pretty much just buzzed." She lied, she was drunk, she just had a good way of hiding it.

Leonard glared at the two "You said you were just giving it to Sheldon, not having some for yourselves!"

"You knew!" Sheldon yelled suddenly at him. Leonard turned around "Well yeah, after two drinks we knew something was up. It's pretty hilarious seeing you make a fool of yourself."

Sheldon gave him a fake laugh and then glared at him "Betrayer! All of you!"

"Lighten up, it was just a little booze." Howard rolled his eyes.

"You stay out of this leprechaun."

Howard glared at Sheldon and put the controller down "Well I have to be going. Bernadette will be wondering where I am." He shrugged and stood up, getting ready to leave. Leonard hopped up as well "I'll walk down with you. I have to go see Amy anyways."

"Say hello to my ex for me." Sheldon laughed, forgetting all about being mad just a few moments earlier. Leonard shook his head '_Wow…'_

He looked at Haley and Lexi, it was his turn to smile wickedly "Have fun dealing with that you two! You got him drunk, you deal with it!"

0000

Penny passed Leonard and Howard as she walked up the stairs. They were cracking up for some odd reason. "Hey what's so funny?"

"Haley and Lexi got Sheldon drunk!" Howard stopped and looked at her.

"How the hell did they manage that? Sheldon doesn't drink."

"Spiked his drinks. He's upstairs right now singing along to Mayday Parade…"

"Oh for the love of God…" Penny threw her hands up in frustration. "And let me guess, you two bailed leaving those two girls upstairs with a drunk Sheldon?"

"Pretty much. Hey, they served him the alcohol, they deal with the consequences." Leonard smiled "See ya!" He and Howard then took off down the stairs like a bat out of hell, before Penny could hit one of them.

Penny got to the fourth floor and heard the singing that the guys were talking about.

"_So say hello to all the boys at the top of this table that you're under. Lipstick lullabies. This is sorry for the last time, And baby I understand that you're making new friends. This is how you get by. The moral this time is, girls make boys cry."_

"Mother of God…" She said. She let herself into her apartment and quickly changed into some sweats and a tank top, she then went next door and knocked.

Haley answered the door "About fucking time!" She said dragging her into the apartment and slamming the door closed. "Look at this shit." Penny looked at the scene in front of her. Sheldon was on the couch singing, pretending to be playing drums while Lexi sat in the chair cracking up.

"_You're like a black cat with a black back pack full of fireworks ,And you're gonna burn the city down right now Whoa whoa!"_

"Wow…" was all she could say. The last time she saw Sheldon drunk, he stripped down in front of a room of people, and pretty much offended anyone that was not Caucasian with his idea of stand up comedy.

"Penny!" He shouted like an excited kid when he saw she was there. "Have you heard this band before? I must admit their songs are rather catchy!"

Penny looked at Haley, and then walked over and sat down on the couch on the other side. "Yeah, I heard of them. How much have you had to drink?"

"I'm not sure, these two heathens did this to me" He said pointing to Haley.

"We were doing an experiment…" Haley said indifferently and started to head down the hall towards her bedroom, walking over to the chair she pulled Lexi to her feet. "We're going to bed. Just make sure he doesn't escape and terrorize the city."

Sheldon got up and grabbed Haley by the arm, pulling her into a hug "I love you!" Haley patted him on the back awkwardly "Love ya too bro." She then slipped out of his grasp and went to her room, dragging Lexi with her.

He sat back down, looking down the hall. "I don't know what I would do if anything ever happened to her. Beverly sent me an email today, saying she made a breakthrough, but I could tell, the news is not good." He said sadly.

'_Here comes the depressive side of being drunk' _Penny thought. "I'm sorry sweetie."

She slid closer to him and cautiously put her hand on his shoulder.

"She said she's going to try and get Haley to tell me what's wrong herself…I don't understand what could possibly be this catastrophic?" He didn't even flinch at her touch,

'_the alcohol must have curbed his paranoia of physical contact' _Penny thought.

"Sheldon, do you need a hug?"

He sighed "Normally I would decline to such unnecessary physical contact, but I think perhaps I do in fact need a hug." Penny leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him in a tight embrace, oddly enough he hugged her back.

"I'm scared…I already lost my mother and Meemaw…she's all I have left."

"She will be alright. She has you, and I know you would do whatever it takes to make things better."

Sheldon broke the hug and wiped a tear from his eye "Thank you Penny, as always you are a great comfort in dire times." She looked at him and bit her lip, seeing him shed a tear just made her want to shower him with hugs and kisses. She knew the girls' were right. She definitely had feelings for him. This wasn't the same crazy doctor she had met over eight years ago. He was becoming a human right in front of her eyes.

"Why would they get me intoxicated?" He asked, changing the subject.

Penny shrugged "Them two. I guess they probably thought you needed a release of the sort. They assume you're hurt about the whole Amy thing."

Sheldon scoffed "Hardly. It was a surprise that she decided to start dating Leonard, but in all honesty it doesn't bother me that she terminated the relationship agreement."

"Really? You guys were together for a little over four years."

"This is true, but unlike her physical attraction to me, I had no attraction in that sense to her. The constant attempts to kiss me and fondle me were annoying to say the least. She knows very well I like to have my personal space."

Penny thought for a moment "Maybe it annoyed you because you weren't attracted to her in that way, not that it was an invasion of your personal space."

"What makes you think that?" He asked as he settled back into his spot.

"Have you ever kissed anyone else besides her…or Bev?"

"Well no, what would be the point in it? Besides I have no interest in a physical relationship as such, I am a man of science, not some idiotic monkey who thinks with his genitals."

"You want to find out?" She said looking at him.

"You mean like an experiment. I find no reason for it, but alright, what do you propose?"

"_We're going to see if this cat is really alive after all." _She smirked and moved over till the was right next to him. He looked at her wide eyed. "The experiment is with you?" He choked. Penny could see that his face was turning red. Penny figured as much that this was a waste of time. All she did was freak him out. "You know what…forget it sweetie, I guess I was stupid enough to think you may be attracted to me." She got up to leave, when suddenly she felt a hand on her arm that pulled her back down onto the couch. She came face to face with Sheldon and noticed something. Was it desire? Longing? Her mind was reeling when he leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to hers. _"What was this? Sheldon Cooper was actually kissing her? And he was the one who initiated it? Damn! Those two were right! The cat is definitely alive…_

After a moment he broke the kiss and looked at her. "Remarkable…" It was as if he had just discovered the cure for cancer by the look on his face. "I found that…stimulating."

"That's kind of the point." _'He so is not going to remember this tomorrow.'_

He reached up with his hand and touched her face, studying her closely. He placed his other hand on the back of her head and pulled her back to him for another kiss…

0000

"Are you seeing this shit!" Lexi whispered excitedly as the two stuck their heads out of her bedroom door.

"Uh Yeah I am." She said in disbelief.

"Take a picture, we need this for evidence" Lexi nudged her.

"Why?"

"He ain't gonna remember this. We'll show him tomorrow."

"Good point." Haley reached into her pajama pants and pulled out her cell phone. She held it up and snapped a quick picture minus the flash.

"We're good."

"Good? We're fucking brilliant!"


	12. Harvester of Sorrow

**(Updated version of chapter twelve, added a bit on to the flashback, not too much)**

Chapter twelve : Harvester of sorrow

Sheldon woke up with a pounding headache. He sat up in bed and looked at the clock and nearly fell out of bed. It said 11:30 in the morning. "_Great Caesars ghost! How did I sleep this long? This puts my whole schedule off track." _He slipped out of bed and headed for the living room. Sitting in the living room were Haley and Lexi sitting on the couch playing Halo.

"killed you again bitch!" Haley said incoherently, as she had a cigarette hanging from her mouth.

"Whatever skank I let you win." Lexi muttered.

Haley noticed that Sheldon walked into the room and paused the game. "Damn, look who finally decided to grace us with his presence."

"I must admit I do not remember much of what happened last night. From the horrible migraine I am experiencing I can only assume that I was inebriated. Did you trick me into drinking alcohol?"

"Maybe." She smirked.

"Why on earth would you do such a thing?" He narrowed his eyes at her.

"You only had like half a bottle, we drunk the rest."

Sheldon looked on the counter and saw the three empty bottles of Vodka sitting there still from last night. "You engaged in underage drinking in this house?" He was furious now.

"Do you not realize that the amount of alcohol you two consumed last night could have landed you in the hospital? Your body weight can't handle that amount of alcohol."

"What can I say, Kesha doesn't have shit on me."

"Who in the world is "Kesha?"

"You know, _Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy. Grab my glasses, I'm out the door, I'm gonna hit the city, before I leave brush my teeth with a bottle of jack_? Never mind." She said when she saw the confused look on her brother's face, so she changed the subject. "Did you check your phone?"

"No, why?"

"You might want to.." Lexi said trying to stifle a laugh.

Sheldon went into his room and grabbed his cell phone. _'A picture message from Haley. What interest would I have in…oh good Lord no!' _He thought as he looked at the picture of himself and Penny kissing. He practically ran back to the front room "How did this happen?" He said in a weird voice. "I did I let her kiss me?"

"Actually bud, you were the one who kissed her." Haley looked at him. She could tell her brother was freaking out, he always got all bug eyed and twitchy when he did.

"That's impossible." He gasped, and sat down in his spot still looking at the picture is disbelief.

"Actually its not. Despite what you try to tell yourself, you like her."

Sheldon didn't argue with her, he just closed his phone and looked at her "Please tell me this was a Bazinga?"

"Nope. You totally made out with her, and you liked it."

"What am I going to do now…" He said aloud to himself. Slowly the bits and pieces started to come together as he sat there, trying to remember it. He did remember pulling her back, and kissing her. What he remembered the most though, were the feelings he had when he did it. A longing and desire he had never felt before, or more so that he always managed to push down when she was near him.

0000

Penny couldn't sleep at all that night. She couldn't believe that she actually made out with Sheldon, and that he was the one who actually came on to her. She sat on the couch staring at a blank TV screen. She picked up her phone and noticed she had a message from Haley. She opened the message and nearly dropped the phone. It was a picture of her kissing Sheldon. What was even worse was that the same message was sent to Sheldon at the same time. _"What the hell am I going to do? I cant face him now. He probably won't even look at me after this." _

0000

"Your brother had informed me that you were drinking again, and that you had spiked his beverages to get him intoxicated as well?" Dr. Hofstadter said during their next meeting that Monday.

"He needed to loosen up…after all the shit I've been putting him through…I guess I felt he needed it." She shrugged. "I just want him to be happy, so me and Lexi had this stupid plan to kind of get Sheldon and Penny together."

Beverly laughed when she realized why they had in fact got Sheldon drunk. "So you wanted to get him drunk, so that he would show his true feelings towards Penny?"

"Yeah, and it worked, but then he got sober and remembered and now he's freaking out and ignoring her. So to cut to the point, I ruined another thing for him."

"You talk as if you think you are a burden to your brother, why is that?"

"Because I am, I get in the way of everything. I screw up the schedule he revolves his life around constantly."

"I talk to your brother all the time. Never has he once said that you are an inconvenience in his life. He wants you to reach out to him and tell him what is wrong."

"I can't…I know it will break him. I don't want to be the one who breaks my brother."

"Haley, you can't keep this in. Don't you see you are destroying yourself?" She paused "Do you think that if he finds out he will no longer love you?"

Haley looked down at her hands and began to pull at her bracelets. "Maybe. I don't think he'd understand, my brother…he's so innocent, oblivious to a lot of things…maybe I feel like I'm protecting him…from this harsh fact of reality."

"Haley, you are thirteen years old…you shouldn't be protecting anyone, it is you that needs protecting. He does this in every possible way he can. How can he help you, and protect you if he does not know what has happened?"

'_You mean what is going on still?' _"I don't want him to think he's failed…"

Beverly nodded and wrote some notes down in her notebook. "Do you want to talk about how you feel? Not what others feel? You talk about everyone else and how they will feel, but you have yet to express your own emotions."

"I feel disgusted with myself, and confused, I don't understand why it had to be me…and every time I see him, I just want to kill him, but I cant." _'while a part of me has a sick emotional attachment to him and it makes me feel like I'm just as much of a sick fuck as he is' _

"Do you see this boy at school?" Beverly had thought long and hard about who could be the perpetrator, and the only logical answer she came up with was that it was a boy from Haley's school.

"No…he doesn't go to my school…"

"Alright. Can you tell me when it happened? The incident?"

Haley looked her dead in the eyes, no emotion were in those big blue eyes as she replied "I can't talk about it"

"Haley, I'm going to have to tell your brother…I can't keep something like this from him."

"What about patient/doctor confidentiality?" She breathed heavily. She felt her whole world was collapsing right before her eyes.

"By law I am expected to report child abuse, but I already know your brother will do something about it when he is told, we need to know who it is Haley…"

"I can't tell you ok? I just cant." She started crying.

"Haley…" She reached out to touch the girl, but she bolted from the room before she could finish her sentence. Beverly sat back down and sighed, she then reached into her pocket and grabbed out her cell phone to call Sheldon.

He answered on the third ring. "Hello."

"Sheldon, it's Dr. Hofstadter…"

"I know this, your name appeared on the caller I.D. Am I able to return home now?"

"Yes. The session has ended, but I would like to set up a meeting with you sometime next week. I have to discuss Haley's issue with you, it is of dire importance."

"I see. I am free next Thursday, will that do?"

'_It will give her time to cool down, and possibly tell him before I have to" "_Yes, that will be fine."

"Is she alright?" He asked, She could sense the worry in his voice.

"She is in her room…She suffered a breakdown when she was pressed for more information about the…incident."

"What incident?"

"I wish not to speak of it on the phone…it's a delicate subject. I will relay it all to you on Thursday…until then, it is best that you encourage her to talk to you."

"I will. Thank you Dr. Hofstadter."

"Your welcome, goodbye Sheldon."

0000

Sheldon was sitting in his spot watching Star Trek in silence, when his cell phone began to ring. He grabbed it out of his pocket and looked at the number and groaned "Oh for the love of God…" He muttered and answered it.

"Hello Missy."

"Hey Shelly, I was just calling to see how you guys have been doing. It's been a while since I called ya'll"

He cringed at her incorrect grammar "We have been fine."

"That's good, I just wanted to let you know that me and George are actually going to be in California this week. We have a wedding to attend. We figured we could come see you and Haley."

"I suppose that will be acceptable." He wasn't pleased at this. The lack of a better notification irked him to no end.

"You suppose? We haven't been to California to see you two in almost five years."

"I know this Missy. I am sure Haley will be pleased."

"Well tell her we will be there tomorrow to see you guys!" Missy said and then hung up.

Sheldon sighed "Oh what fresh hell is this? If this week couldn't get any more inconvenient." He said aloud to himself.

"What's an inconvenience?" Haley said as she walked through the door, hearing only the last part of the conversation.

"Oh look, it's the Lord of the flies." He gave her a look. She knew Sheldon was still upset with her about getting him wasted a few days ago. She hated it when her brother was mad at her, but she was good at putting a poker face on.

Haley simply smirked "Or you can just call me Haley, whatever works for ya." She placed her skateboard up against the wall and walked over to the chair, sitting down. "Who was that?"

"Missy…"

"And?"

"She and George have decided to pay us a visit since they are going to be in town this week."

Haley sat back and groaned "Are you fucking kidding me?" She loved her other siblings, but they were just too much the nagging type. Missy was always sending her girly clothes that she just discarded in her closet, and George, well George didn't talk to anyone.

"I never kid or joke. They will be here tomorrow."

"Oh joy…" She muttered. Sheldon looked at her confused for a moment. She knew he was trying to figure out if she was being serious or sarcastic.

"That was sarcasm Sheldon."

"Drat! I thought you were being serious. Just when I thought I was getting better at that.."

Haley looked at him seriously "You didn't tell them about anything…did you?"

"Anything? Telling someone anything can mean a wide variety of things." He paused and then realized what she meant "Oh, No I did not. Why would I? It does not concern them in the least."

Haley let out a breath of relief "Thank God…"

"On subject of that…Dr. Hofstadter wishes to meet with me in private to discuss what she said was the cause of your problems."

Haley's mind came to a screeching halt at that point. "A…a meeting?"

"Yes." He looked at her sternly "What does she want to tell me Haley?"

Everything was becoming fuzzy and disoriented in her brain. She knew she had a time limit before everything would be revealed. The secret she worked for years trying to hide and cover up, would be revealed; changing everything around her. She stared down at her jelly bracelets reciting the colors in her head '_red, black, blue, green, black, blue, yellow, green, blue, black…'_

"Haley are you listening to me?" Sheldon raised his voice slightly, annoyed.

'_Red, black, blue, green, black, blue.." _

"Haley…" The voice changed tone, it now sounded worried.

"_yellow, green, blue…' _

"We don't know what she wants to tell you…" Haley replied numbly.

Sheldon looked at his sister and noticed the change. This is what Beverly had told him, she did when she read her words to those lyrics some weeks ago. He knew the clinical term and definition of what was occurring before his eyes. "_Dissociation - mild detachment from one's immediate surroundings to more severe detachment from one's physical and emotional reality. It is commonly displayed on a continuum. The major characteristic of all dissociative phenomena involves a detachment from reality." _

Seeing it for himself, was a different story. This wasn't a book or some case study. This was his thirteen year old sister sitting in front of him, as if it were an empty vehicle with no one behind the wheel. He slipped out of his spot and walked over to her. Kneeling down in front of her, he placed his hands on her shoulders "Haley…look at me."

She snapped back into reality instantaneously and looked up to see a look of confusion and concern on her brothers face.

"That's frightening to me you know…seeing you force your mind to go elsewhere…" He said sadly.

"I'm sorry, I can't help it…it just happens…" trying to blink back tears.

"Why can't you just tell me what it is?

"Because its going to hurt you…and I don't want do to that…" She blurted out.

"How could it possibly hurt me? Words are not lethal nor can they inflict harm."

"I mean emotionally…it will hurt you.."

"I see…"

"Please don't make me talk about it." She wiped her eyes quickly with her sleeve. She hated crying in front of anyone, it made her feel like such a weakling when she did so.

"Haley…this no longer just affects you. I myself have been having complications…my concentration on work has been lacking…my REM sleep is often disturbed…I find myself worrying about you all the time…terrified of what you may do when you go into these dissociative states."

"It helps me live with myself…" She thought for a moment, choosing her words carefully before she continued " Imagine something happened to you…that changed everything you were. Something that broke you mind, body and spirit…a never ending cycle, that seems like it will never stop. My mind is the only place I was…I am able to escape."

He looked at her for a moment before he pulled her into a hug. "Escape what Haley?"

"I can't tell you. I'm sorry. This is my burden…I will manage it." She hugged him back before she pulled away and got up off the chair and walked to her room, leaving Sheldon there in confusion. He got up and sat back down, finding himself pondering once more in the past, remembering his sister before all this had happened.

0000

_It had been almost eight months since Sheldon brought Haley from Texas to take care of her. In that whole time he didn't even receive a call from either George nor Missy to see how things were going. It didn't bother him in the least though. He never seen eye to eye with his other siblings and they rarely talked before. He didn't think this would be any different. It was when he got home from work one day and found out from Leonard that Missy had called saying she was coming to visit, that slightly annoyed him. The fact that she had stated to Leonard that the reason she was coming was that she wanted to make sure he wasn't screwing up their sister with his petty and childish ways. _

"_Did she say when she will be arriving?" Sheldon asked as he sat down in his spot and grabbed his laptop. _

"_Actually she was getting on the plane when she called. I didn't know what to tell her." Leonard shrugged his shoulders. "I'm supposed to be meeting her at the airport in a couple hours." _

"_She obviously is unaware of how inconvenient this is. I require being notified at least two weeks in advance of such visits. Of course she rarely listens to me." He said bitterly. _

"_She's your twin sister man." _

"_We may have shared a uterus for nine months, but she lacks the intelligence that I have. I still don't understand how we can share the same DNA. I have to admit though I am glad that George will not be accompanying her." He closed the laptop and set it down on the table in front of him. _

'_Same old Sheldon. The pompous ass who goes out of his way to show everyone how intellectually superior he is to everyone else.' Leonard thought. "Well, I have some things to do before I go pick her up from the airport. Howard said he was dropping off Haley in like an hour. Think you can manage?"_

"_What kind of neurotic question is that? I will be fine." _

_Leonard just shrugged his shoulders and left. _

0000

_An hour later Howard stopped by to drop Haley off. He knocked on the door a couple times before entering the apartment to find Sheldon at his erase board. He was working on some problem involving thermodynamics and didn't even seem to hear him._

"_Hey Sheldon, we're back." Howard announced as he set Haley on the ground and watched her practically fly across the room to the refrigerator. That day, despite Sheldon's protests, Haley dressed in a Tinkerbell costume and chucks. _

_Sheldon looked over at Haley and scowled slightly "Really Haley? Looking for more sugary foods? I'm sure Mrs. Wolowitz has already spoiled you with enough unhealthy treats as it is." _

_Howard chuckled slightly, as Haley looked at him wide eyed "But I want brownies." She said sweetly. _

_Sheldon sighed "Alright, fine, ruin your supper with even more sweets. Not that I care, I won't be the one complaining of a stomach ache later." _

_Haley didn't even pay mind to her brothers' rant as she pulled out the plastic baggy filled with homemade brownies that she had helped Raj make a few days earlier. Closing the fridge door with her foot she walked over to the chair and crawled into it. _

"_Well I better get going, I'll see you on Tuesday." Howard said "Bye Haley."_

"_Bye Howie." Haley waved goodbye to him as she spoke with a mouth full of chocolate. _

_After he left, Sheldon placed his marker on the tray, and went to sit down in his spot. "I feel the need to inform you that Missy will arriving in a few hours." _

_Haley looked at him with a quizzical look "Why?" _

"_That I'm afraid I do not know. Though I feel it has to do with her and quote "making sure I haven't screwed you up." _

"_Oh.." she said quietly and continued to eat. _

"_I also feel it is necessary to wear a different attire than the Disney costume you currently have on. "_

_She looked at him and shook her head stubbornly "No." _

_He sighed "Fine." _

0000

"_So how has he been with her?" Missy asked Leonard as the headed up the stairs. _

"_Well Sheldon is Sheldon…but I think he is doing pretty well. Haley has become really attached to him. We've been helping too, Howard actually had Haley today." _

"_I still don't feel its right that a little girl be brought up by a bunch of guys…no offence."_

"_Well there's Penny."_

"_Thank the lord, I'd hate to see my baby sister dressing in superhero shirts and babbling on and on about science stuff." _

"_Yeah…of course." He said trying to stifle a laugh. _

_When they got to the apartment they heard Sheldon complaining "Haley Marie quit jumping on the couch!…No! stop that!" _

"_Just as I suspected." Missy muttered._

_As soon as they walked through the door Sheldon froze in place, and turned around. He had Haley in one arm, holding her like a package around the waist. Haley looked up and shrieked "Missy!" _

_Leonard started laughing as Sheldon tried to keep himself from dropping her. She made it difficult with her feet and arms flying everywhere. He set her on the floor and she ran over to Missy, who picked her up and hugged her tightly "Hi baby. Have you been bullyin Shelly?" _

_Haley grinned evilly. _

"_No she hasn't." He scoffed. "She consumed too much sugar and now she's jumping around like a kangaroo." _

"_Keep telling yourself that Sheldon." Leonard laughed. _

_Missy just shook her head. At first glance she figured that her brother no had idea what so ever as to what he was doing. _

0000

_The first few hours of being there, she saw nothing different about Sheldon. He was the way he was with everyone. Constantly correcting, and making her feel like an idiot. She knew he didn't do it to hurt her feelings, he just didn't think that what he said should be interpreted in a mean way. His elated ego was what used to annoy her the most about him. She worried what kind of effect this could have on Haley, living here with him. _

_Haley however seemed perfectly fine as she ran around the apartment in her own little imaginary world. Penny had come to stop by which was a relief to her, as it gave her someone to converse with about shoes and other girl things. Sheldon was practically ignoring her the whole time as he sat at his computer typing away at a paper. _

_At exactly nine o clock, He shut his computer and swerved the chair around and looked at Haley, who was drawing on the floor at that time. "I know you are currently enjoying yourself , but I am afraid it is time for bed." _

_Even she knew she was exhausted from running around since 8 that morning, and at that point she was having trouble keeping her eyes even open. "Ok…" _

_Missy figured she should get up and be the one to tuck her in, but was surprised when she saw Sheldon get up from his seat and walk over to Haley. He bent down and picked her up. Missy saw how he did this in a careful and gentle manner, and noticed how he held her close to himself as he disappeared down the hall with her. _

"_That was weird." She said blankly. _

_Penny shrugged "He always gets her ready for bed and reads to her. It's become part of his schedule." _

"_Wow, he actually changed his schedule?" _

"_Yeah, what was weird was he didn't make a fuss about it at all." _

"_Well that's good." _

0000

_Sheldon was sitting in a rocking chair with Haley in his lap, actually reading a children's book, and not some scientific journal or comic to her. _

"The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all he SAID was, `Why is a raven like a writing-desk?' _He read, with a roll of his eyes. Something he did every time he got to this part of 'Alice's Adventures in Wonderland." Of course the Mad Hatter just so happened to be his sister's favorite character. _

_Haley looked at him with a straight face "Why is a raven like a writing desk Shelly?" _

"_It's not…" He sighed "Unless I am missing some pieces of this riddle, then do tell me, why is a raven like a writing desk?" _

_At that Haley started laughing loudly quoting the book "I haven't the slightest clue!" _

"_This book has filled your head with such nonsense…" He muttered. _

"_Am I completely bonkers then?" _

"_Bonkers?" _

_Haley giggled "Yes, have I lost my head?"_

"_No. Your head is where it should be. On your shoulders." He then continued to read till she stopped him once more. _

"_Sheldon?" She heard her say to him. _

"_Hmm?" _

"_Is Missy going to try and take me back to Texas?"_

_He furrowed his brow "I don't think so, why?"_

"_Because I don't want to go back there." _

_Sheldon wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. "Don't worry, there is no possible way that I will ever let that happen." _

"_Good. I love you more anyways." _

_Sheldon couldn't help but smile at that remark, and kissed the top of her head. " I normally do not express emotions but I will admit that I love you as well." _


	13. You're gonna go far kid

**(Updated version of chapter thirteen, instead of fiddling around and deleting and reuploading chapters in order to fit the next chapter in, i just added it on to this one.) **

**(Missy and George come to visit. Penny tries to get Sheldon to stop avoiding her, and Haley, well Haley has her own agenda to deal with that) **

Chapter thirteen: You're gonna go far kid

_Slowly out of line_  
><em>And drifting closer in your sights<em>  
><em>So play it out I'm wide awake<em>  
><em>It's a scene about me<em>  
><em>There's something in your way<em>  
><em>And now someone is gonna pay<em>  
><em>And if you can't get what you want<em>  
><em>Well it's all because of me<em>

_~The offspring_

"It's so nice to see you Shelly." Missy said with a smile. They had just arrived at Sheldon's house to his displeasure as they had not informed him of what time they would be arriving at.

"It's good to see you too Missy, George." He looked at the oldest Cooper who looked at him and shook his head "Still the same Sheldon, not a surprise."

"I should say the same about you, a pity…" Sheldon replied, as the three siblings sat there awkwardly.

"Where's Haley?"

"She's at the skate park. She should be home soon."

Missy furrowed her brow "Why is she at a skate park?"

"She likes engaging in the activity. I didn't like the idea myself, but she is very skilled at it."

"She couldn't do something more, I don't know…feminine?" She complained.

"She enjoys it. I will not force her into a stereotypical gender role she wishes not to be associated with."

"She'll never get a boyfriend acting like a boy…" Missy huffed.

Sheldon narrowed his eyes at her "She doesn't need a 'boyfriend', she's too young."

Haley came walking through the door at that moment. Sheldon breathed a sigh of relief when he saw she wasn't smoking. Missy stared at her sister wide eyed. The blue and black streaks in her hair, black nail polish, obscene band shirt and ripped jeans were a lot to take in. "Hey Haley…"

Haley set her board up against the wall and smiled "Hey, what's up? Heard you guys were coming."

George frowned "What is with that ridiculous hair and nail polish?"

Haley's eye twitched, she bit her tongue and just shrugged "I like it."

"You look like one of those crazy Goth kids…Jesus Sheldon, you let her get away with that?"

Sheldon sighed "She did it at her friends house, of course I was upset, but as Leonard had said, she is just expressing her individuality."

"Individuality my ass."

Sheldon glanced over at Haley and saw that fire she got in her eyes when she wanted to snap. She just took a deep breath. "I'm going to my room. Later."

Missy remained silent, it was George who made the comment that caused her to stop in her tracks "No respect either it seems. I knew she should have stayed in Texas with us…Way to go mom…"

Haley turned on her heel and looked at them. She wasn't even there ten minutes and already George had opened a can of worms he wouldn't be able to close. She knew she promised Sheldon she wouldn't run her mouth, but the insult George had directed towards him was something she could not keep her mouth closed about.

"Excuse me you alcoholic son of a bitch?" She fumed. Missy's mouth dropped at Haley's words. George looked at her "What the hell did you just say to me?" He tried to stand up, but Missy walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, pushing him back down in the chair.

"You fucking heard me. I called you an alcoholic son of a bitch."

"Haley.." Sheldon warned.

"Fuck no Sheldon, I'm not going to sit here and let this prick talk shit to you." She was shaking in anger, her hands were at her sides clenched. "Before you go around pointing the finger at someone.." She put a finger to her lips "hmm lets see…" She pointed to George first "Gets piss ass drunk and beats his wife and bullies his kids, father of the year you are. Bravo." George nearly lunged at her but once again Missy held him back. Sheldon didn't move, he just looked at Haley. She was standing up for him, against George, who had bullied him his entire childhood. The guts and fearlessness that his little sister had baffled him. She was doing something he never in his life could do; tell George where he should go.

Haley just shrugged her shoulders "What are you going to do George? If your feeling frog-ish, then leap."

"Haley Marie you stop this now" Missy yelled at her.

"Oh missy ,missy missy, you think I didn't remember you?" She smirked "Lets see, oh yes probably holds the world record for having the most abortions. Wouldn't our Christian mother be proud?"

Missy's eyes bugged out "You little shit…"

"What? It's ok for you guys to talk shit about Sheldon, yet when the table gets turned on you it doesn't feel so good. I thank God that mom picked Sheldon to take care of me and not you idgits. You two have more skeletons in their closet than anyone else I know."

George finally got up and glared at her. "And look how you turned out. If he did such a good job, it sure as hell doesn't show." George looked at Sheldon "You need to put this damn kid in her place. She needs a good ass whooping."

"I'm not going harm her in any way.." He said in a serious tone. "What good does that do? What good did our fathers' discipline do for you? To any of us?"

"It made me into the man I am today. I see it didn't help you any, you still haven't grown up."

Sheldon just put his head down and got up, walking into the kitchen. He hated arguments, especially ones that involved family. It reminded him too much of his childhood.

"A real man doesn't hit a women or his children." Haley knew she struck a nerve, but he countered her "At least I'm not a human robot who doesn't even know how to show basic human emotions."

Haley lunged for him, ready to physically attack but Sheldon was faster. He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her back kicking and yelling "Come on Sheldon, please let me punch this fucker."

"Look who's talking, you're about as crazy as our dad was." George sneered. Missy picked up her purse and grabbed George's arm "lets go." George let her lead him out the door, slamming it behind them.

Sheldon let Haley go and set her down on the floor. "That was unacceptable behavior…"

Haley turned around and looked up at him "You just let them sit here and talk shit to you, that was what was unacceptable."

"I don't need you fighting my battles for me Haley. I'm a grown man and genius with an IQ of 187..." He began with his rant but Haley cut him off.

"I'm not going to let them talk shit to my brother…"

He looked at her with an arched eyebrow "I do not understand… Missy and George are your brother and sister too.."

"By blood yeah, but I see it like this…" She went to sit down in the chair, pulling out a cigarette from the pack and lighting it. "There's us…and then there's them…I'm always going to side with you. You've been pretty much my mom and dad since as long as I remember, why wouldn't I?"

Sheldon stood there thinking about her words for a minute, he then smiled slightly

"Well it appears from their dramatic exit, that they will not be coming over again any time soon."

"Thank God…"

"I'm going to go to the comic book store. Thankfully they didn't interfere with that. Would you care to join me?"

"Nah, I'm tired…I think I'm going to take a nap." She said as she put her legs over the chair and grabbed the remote, turning the TV on.

Sheldon nodded "Alright, just behave yourself."

0000

Penny managed to catch Sheldon as he was just getting back from the Comic book store later that night. He looked at her and immediately froze. "Hello Penny.." He said calmly.

"Hey Sheldon…look, I want to talk about that night…"

Sheldon nodded "I deeply apologize for my actions. I was not using my higher mind due to the alcohol."

"You don't have to apologize Sheldon. It's alright, actually I kind of enjoyed it."

"You did?" She noticed the slight arch of his eyebrow.

"Yeah. I think you did too." She smiled at him.

He just looked at his feet "It was an interesting experience. There was something I hadn't felt when Amy would kiss me…"

"What was that?" She took a few steps closer to him, shutting her apartment door behind her.

"A strange tingling feeling throughout my body. And umm.." He paused a flushed slightly at the thought of what he was going to say. "I do remember also being quite aroused.."

"What your sister didn't tell you was that you wanted more…but I said no." She saw the look of embarrassment on his face so she continued quickly "I wanted more as well, but I didn't want to do that to you when you were drunk. It just wouldn't have been right."

"Thank you…" He said quietly.

Penny was now right in front of him. She reached out and ran her hand through his hair "Not a problem Moonpie." She then stood up on her tiptoes and kissed him softly on the cheek. "You're my best friend…I would never do anything to hurt you."

He looked at her "I thought Amy was your 'bestie'?"

"She's my girl best friend…but you…you've always been something more." She noticed the hitch in his breathing, she just smiled "Goodnight." and with that she disappeared into her apartment.

Sheldon sighed and unlocked the apartment door. It was dark, so he automatically assumed Haley was asleep, and Leonard was elsewhere. He set his bag of newly bought comics on the table and went straight for the bathroom feeling the need to take a cold shower…

0000

After getting his pajama's on Sheldon decided against going into the living room to read his new comics. He was physically drained and in desperate need of REM sleep. When he got to his room and turned the light on he instantly something was array as his bedding was messed up. He walked over to the bed and pulled the covers down to reveal a passed out Haley wearing headphones that still blared music and clutching a notebook in one hand. She looked so calm and content he knew better than to wake her up. She always would fall asleep in his bed if she was scared when she was little, so this was not new to him. He smiled slightly as he gently pulled the notebook from her clutch and placed it on the bedside table. Carefully removing the headphones from her ears, he turned her ipod off and set it on top of the book. He then pushed her over and slid into bed. Just as Sheldon was getting ready to pull the covers up over them, he noticed her arm.

Her upper forearm was recently bandaged with gauze she more than likely found in his first aid kit that he kept in the bathroom. He winced at the sight of crimson bleeding through the white wrappings.

There was a pain in his heart that he couldn't explain, as he stared at the array of scars, slashes, and healing wounds. He put his head in his hands as he felt the hot tears begin to fall. Sheldon never before care much about what people felt, and the expressing of emotions always confused him. Then he brought home his five year old sister eight years ago and slowly that all started to change. Normally he preferred silence and solitude. At that moment though, he would have given anything to hear her speak. To tell him what's been haunting her. What's going on in her mind to make her slice open her own skin. What's hurting her.

After a few minutes he managed to compose himself. However, he still felt nothing more than despair. He looked at Haley and covered her up carefully. He then laid down and covered himself up; closed his eyes. Hoping for once this week to be able to sleep. His mind had other plans. It replayed the moments over the past eight years that slowly began to turn this apathetic robot man into a human being.

0000

_It was another confusing dream that Haley found herself in. Oh, how she wished to have ended up in Wonderland, like she used to when she was little. Instead, she found herself in Aaron's room. She looked around the room before walking to the window. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. It was a beautiful black starry night. She found herself naming the constellations (something Sheldon taught her when she was little) when she felt someone place their hands on her shoulders. Haley turned around to find Aaron looking down at her. For reasons unknown to her at that moment, she felt no fear. Instead a curiosity she couldn't seem to curb._

_"You came to me for once…this is a first…" He placed his hands on her waist and pulled her closer to him, making her lose her breath._

_"Kiss me…" she said in an uncertain voice. Those eyes that bore into her, was something she knew she couldn't escape._

_"I knew it would work. You love me…and you always will…" He then leaned down and pressed his lips roughly against hers._

_"Haley Marie, you've been sinning with that boy…" She heard a voice that brought chills down her spine. She turned her head to see Mary Cooper standing there._

_"I didn't. It wasn't my fault…" Haley stuttered._

_Mary just shook her head with a look of disgust "You're lying…just like Missy always did….whoring around…a drunk just like your father as well it seems."_

_"I'm not lying mommy…" Panic started to overwhelm her as she broke free from Aaron, in order to run to her mother. Mary turned her back to her daughter "You're going to hell…where you always belonged…." and disappeared before Haley reached her. She fell to her knees and started to sob._

_"Why do you act so surprised? You dug this grave for yourself…" the unknown voice hissed at her._

_"No use in acting like something that you're not…" Aaron spoke this time, as he sat down on his bed; patting the spot beside him._

_"I'm not. I want to go home, I want my brother..;" Haley cried, she ran to the door and pulled it open, only to let out a scream at what she saw. The hallway that led to Hannah's room wasn't there. What was there was nothing but an endless desert of flames._

_"You can never escape your fate. This is where you belong, Here with me, you'll never see your brother again." Aaron laughed "Like he would want to see you. You're his biggest failure. The one curse he wishes he could reverse."_

_"Just give up already, Haley…" the voice cooed to her from thin air._

_0000_

Haley woke in a cold sweat. Slowly sitting up, she looked at the clock seeing it was three in the morning. Trying hard to control her irregular breathing, she slipped from the bed as carefully as possible, in order to not wake a sleeping Sheldon. Tiptoeing around to the other side of the bed, she grabbed her headphones and slipped out the door into the hallway.

"It was just a dream Haley…nothing more_…" _She told herself as she hurried into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. Finally, she could express what she needed to.

_"Dreams reflect reality, what your subconscious is trying to tell you. What feelings you suppress you ignorant girl…"_

The voice taunted, while an unknown child sobbed loudly.

_"We're just using him for his body…"_

A woman's voice spoke this time, causing Haley to nearly lose it.

"GO AWAY…" Haley cradled her head in pain as she slid down against the door onto the floor. Her foot tapped nervously on the floor, wishing for once she could hear the sound of silence. For years it had always seemed that there were many people crowding her mind, making it hard to think, speak, or come to any kind of decision. She was a pro at drowning the problems out with her own methods. She already felt the itch to calm the storm within her mind.

The medicine cabinet was a few feet away. Before her conscious could tell her to think twice, something else made her get to her feet and walk to the sink. Gripping onto the hard porcelain, she looked down at her newly bandaged arms.

"A few more won't hurt…it's not like they will stand out any more than these do…" It always started off with a compromise to herself. _'Just a couple cuts…to help me cope.' 'A few slashes, to clear my head in order to think…'_

Just like her cigarettes, Haley was addicted to the self inflicted wounds she created on her skin. It was so much more than just a way to float away from reality. It was a self punishment system, a way to reflect. Most of all it was a way to remind herself that she was still alive.

Reaching her hand underneath the sink, Haley felt around till she found what she was searching for. Stuck to the bottom of the sink with clear tape was the utility blade she used in such dire situations. Sitting back down on the floor Indian style, she looked down at the blade in her hand. She took a glance at the door and held her breath, listening for the slightest sounds, but all she heard was silence.

_"You're not just hurting yourself…"_

The tiny voice of reason tried to convey to her. It was the voice Haley buried out of fear. It sounded too much like her mom.

_"You can cut all you want…you'll never get rid of me for good…unless, you slice down the road instead of across the street…but we know you're too much of a coward…"_

_"How unattractive all these scars will look…"_

The voices that filled her head at that moment were something she would never be able to describe. What frightened her was that it wasn't her voice in her head, but an array of unknown people conversing all at once. Then there was the small child's cry that was muffled.

"Normal people don't hear this stuff…" Haley came to the conclusion aloud, as she began to unwrap her left arm in a frenzy. _"Gotta make them stop…have to silence them…" _Wincing, the last piece of gauze reopened the cuts she made earlier that night. She took her ipod out of her pajama pocket and put them in her ears, turning on a song that would help to drown the chaos inside her head.

_"Made the toast,_  
><em>Burnt the eggs,<em>  
><em>Never got the hang of them,<em>  
><em>Just another other day.<em>

_Caught the bus,_  
><em>Forgot the change,<em>  
><em>Looks like I'll be late again,<em>  
><em>Hopefully they won't complain."<em>

Eyes tighten from the sting, crimson drips onto white tiled floor. It was then that Haley began to hear her own voice again. "_I can control you…all of you…whatever you are…" _

_"That's what you think…"_

She ignored the last comment made and focused on the Sick Puppies song that pretty much professed her life thus far.

"_My life's so pitiful,  
>Give me one good reason why I shouldn't end it all,<br>If there's a reason then I haven't found it yet._

And I'll try every drug I find,  
>Except maybe heroin and cyanide,<br>But there's a reason I just can't afford it yet.  
>Oh, its just another overdose."<p>

Haley felt her breathing return to normal, as she leaned back against the toilet and felt her eyes getting heavy. It was a tranquil high that she couldn't explain. A fade into nothingness; peace.

_"Went to work,_  
><em>Saw you there,<em>  
><em>But you never seem to care,<em>  
><em>For a single thing I say.<em>

_I set the clock and went to sleep,_  
><em>This anxiety I keep,<em>  
><em>Through another fucking day."<em>

0000

Haley's eyes fluttered open, as she regained consciousness. The cold feel of the bathroom floor was a comfort to her. She slowly sat up and found herself alone 'upstairs'. Looking around she cursed to herself at her mistake of going too deep. From the look at the scene that lay at her feet, she knew she lost a good amount of blood. That metallic taste in her mouth was a tell tale sign as well. Before she could gather her thoughts, the three sets of knocks, made her freeze in place.

_Knock knock knock_

"Haley?"

_"Fuck!" _Her mind screamed. There was no time to remain in 'deer in the headlights' mode. She scrambled to get some paper towels to clean up the mess.

_Knock knock knock_

"Haley…" There was a hint of worry in his voice. If she didn't say something, he would just walk in and catch her in the act.

_"Lie, you idiot!"_ The nameless woman yelled.

"I…I'm fine…I just feel a little ill….that's all…I'll be right out…" she called out, as she soaked a big wad of paper towel and began to scrub the floor of the crimson pool that dried onto it.

Of course, out of habit, Sheldon knocked three more times.

_Knock knock knock_

He seemed to stop himself from saying her name for the third time. "You don't sound like yourself…Let me take your temperature…"

Before Haley could stop him, the door swung open and he stood there staring down at the picture in front of him. Paper towels soaked with blood, a razor on the floor, and his thirteen year old sister, trying desperately to clean this mess, paying no mind to the mutilated state her arm was in.

Sheldon hadn't expected _this. _He had wished he could erase the image that appeared before him. "Is this what you do when I'm asleep?" He asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

The eerily paleness of her skin, along with the blue tinge of her lips, frightened him.

"I…I had to shut them up. They wouldn't let me sleep…" Haley answered weakly, as she tossed the used paper towels into the garbage can, satisfied that she cleaned the floor well enough. Not that it mattered anymore. Seeing the ill look on her brother's face, she took that as a cue and rewrapped her arm sloppily with the gauze she had from before. She stood before him, a broken, living ghost. "Is what George said true?"

Sheldon took a step towards her, cocking his head to the side in confusion "What part of what he said? That I'm a living robot? I guess to some that might be a valid observation…"

"No…that's not what I meant…because I know you aren't." She breathed heavily, as she placed a hand on the sink to keep her balance. "Am I just like our father, and George?"

With anyone else, he would have either passed out, or ran from the room screaming. Instead he walked to her and grabbed her wounded arm and shook his head "No. Nor will you ever be like them…You have too big of a heart to ever turn into what they did…" He then gently pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her tightly, being sure to avoid injuring her arm any further. Sheldon averted his eyes from her injuries. It was hard trying to be strong and act calm, when all he wanted to do was break and admit he somehow failed her. Silently, he blamed Haley's sickness upon himself, believing if he had more control, she would have still been the happy child she was back in Texas. Or would she have just been worse? These questions kept him up, night after night for the past few weeks. "Is that why you do this? You punish yourself in order to make sure you don't turn into our father?"

"You can't escape fate…" She replied gloomily, as she slipped underneath his embrace and left the bathroom for her bedroom. Sheldon wanted answers. He needed to hear what was going on, no matter what it made him feel. When he walked into the bedroom, Haley was laying on her bed, atop of her covers. She was paging through one of her many picture albums.

"I do not believe in things such as 'fate' but if what you were saying was in fact true, wouldn't I be just like our father and siblings as well?"

Haley saw the look of despair on his face. "You know I'm not normal. I can tell by the way you look at me." tears started to fall down her face "If you knew…you'd look at me differently…You all would…If I told you what I dream about…you'd think I was demented or insane."

Sheldon climbed into the bed and laid down beside her. Glancing over, he saw she was looking at pictures from her sixth birthday. He couldn't help but smile at how full of life and carefree his little sister looked as she blew out the candles on her Hannah Montana cake. Those days seemed so long ago. The good ones were far and few in between.

"Is it weird…to hate someone, but to love them at the same time…at least think you love them?"

Sheldon thought about it for a moment and shrugged "It's possible…I hated our father, for the unfair way he treated me…but I did have feelings of affection towards the man…" He paused "At least what I perceived as affection. I may have been mistaken…"

"What if this person hurt you…over and over again…and made you into something you didn't want to become. At the same time, you are attached to them, and are find yourself jealous when you hear that …" She stopped herself from her crazed train of thought "I didn't mean that last part…"

He looked at her oddly. She seemed to have spoken in two different voices for no particular reason. He was positive she didn't notice it so he decided to ignore it. "Then wouldn't it be correct in saying that they don't love you, nor care about your well being?" He couldn't help but notice the lost expression on her face. "I'm sorry…"He thought she was referring to him, well the first part anyways. It was exactly what her dream had told her "_You are his biggest failure. His curse." _

"Don't apologize…it's not your fault. It's mine, now I have to live with this…"

"With what? I'm having trouble understanding what you are trying to tell me…" He put an arm around her and pulled her close to him. Out of worry more than anything. Frightened she may harm herself again.

"It's better if you don't know…"

_'you're just hurting him…he can help…' The crying child spoke._

_"No he won't stupid…he doesn't understand human emotion…he doesn't know how it feels to live with what we do…"_

_"I don't like lying…"_

_"We have to…it's what we need to do to survive…"_

Haley soon fell to sleep, listening to the voices argue back and forth with each other.

It wasn't until she was completely asleep again, that Sheldon broke down silently, unsure of where to go from this point.


	14. 21 guns

(**Updated, edited version of chapter fourteen. Some changes)**

Chapter fourteen: 21 guns

_When you're at the end of the road_

_And you lost all sense of control_

_And your thoughts have taken their toll_

_When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul_

_Your faith walks on broken glass _

_and the hangover doesn't pass_

_Nothing's ever built to last, you're in ruins_

~ Green Day

Haley sat on the couch, with her laptop on her knees the next night. The guys were congregating in the kitchen arguing over some weird robot that Howard had brought over. She had her headphones in her ears for her own form of privacy at that time while she sung along to a random song.

"_Oh Memories! Where'd you go? You were all I've ever known! How I miss yesterday! How'd I let it fade away? Don't fade away!"_

"Haley, must you sing that loudly? We are trying to have a conversation over here." Sheldon sounded annoyed, but Raj just shook his head

"Dude, she can't hear you."

"I know it…" He sighed and they went back to their conversation. She logged into her facebook and noticed that she had a message and a friend request. Clicking on the little people symbol her heart nearly stopped when she saw who it was from.

_'Aaron Meloy would like to be friends..' _

Her head snapped up and she looked over at the guys who were oblivious, with the exception of Leonard who noticed the look on her face and furrowed his eyebrow. She quickly went back to looking at the screen. _'please let this message be from someone else, please…' _Her mind begged as she cautiously clicked the mail icon. _'fuck…' _She muttered seeing her prayers were not answered. She tried to control her stressed breathing as she clicked on the message and read what he had to say.

_Aaron Meloy: _

_Oh well, oh well._

_I can't live with myself _

_as I'm climbing in your window to get to your bed _

_I'll be what you need,_

_You can call me anything_

_Just as long as we're still friends.(3 hours ago)_

Haley sat there stunned, nearly dropping the computer to the floor. She quickly reached down and grabbed it before it hit the floor.

"Something wrong Haley?" Howard asked. All eyes were on her, and she felt the color drain from her face.

"Not at all." She choked. _'Sick fuck…why does this asshole have to be obsessed with me?' _She thought.

"You sure? You look freaked out." Raj looked at her with a face of concern.

"Yeah. I nearly dropped my computer so I kinda freaked out." She lied.

She couldn't believe what she was reading. This lunatic had the audacity to pretty much profess his crazed love for her. Her blood grew cold as she glared at the screen. "_I hate you…I hate what you did to me…what you do to me. I will never love you.' _

"_Why must you lie to yourself? You do love him, that's what makes you hate him…" _

"No I don't…" She found herself muttering aloud.

Sheldon looked up at her "You don't what?" The guys were staring at her once again. She felt like she was in an interrogation room at that moment. "Sorry I was just talking to myself…crazy people do that…" She joked, but Sheldon didn't find it humorous. He slammed his hand on the table, making Raj jump. "If you say that one more time…" He warned in a voice Haley never heard before.

"It's called making light of a situation….Jesus…" She muttered and went back to looking at the message. _'effectively diffused the situation.' _Taking mental note.

Leonard look at him "It was just a joke Sheldon….what's gotten into you?"

"Nothing. Can we please, get back on subject…" The tone of his voice was moody and annoyed, but the guys decided to not prod him for answers.

She typed up a reply in the best way she knew how. The lyrics to a song.

_Haley Marie Cooper: I try to make it through my life, In my way, There is you...I try to make it through these lies, And That's all I do. Just don't deny it, Just don't deny it And deal with it, Yeah, deal with it. You tried to break me, You wanna break me. Bit by bit. That's just part of it. If you were dead or still alive, I don't care, I don't care just go and leave this all behind, cause I swear I don't care, I don't care.." (A few seconds ago) _

Haley clicked send and then immediately proceeded to block him from viewing her profile or contacting her further through the site. She sat there and put her head in her hands, not knowing what to do anymore. She was scared…she knew something was seriously wrong with Aaron in the first place. Why would he have done what he did to her if he wasn't, but this. This was another story, the strange obsession he had with her, the claim he felt he had over her. It made her feel sick to her stomach. She was getting closer and closer to the point of saying something that she found herself unable to sleep at night. The fear that her mouth would let something slip, kept her up in worry. These feelings were so overpowering as of late that she found herself crawling into her brothers unoccupied bed. Something she hadn't done since she was like ten. That seemed the only place where she felt safe and was able to fall asleep peacefully.

Sheldon glanced over at Haley and saw that she was looking at him. He wasn't a mind reader in the least, nor was he good at deciphering body language, but this time it was loud and clear what she was saying to him. _"Help me…" _

_0000_

_Two days later_

It was another girls night Penny forced Haley to come to. It was the first one held after the drinking incident that happened two weeks ago. Sheldon was talking to Penny again, which relieved Haley, but he was still completely nervous and awkward around her. She knew that Penny was going to have to up the ante and be more persistent. It was obvious that he was crushing on her. He flushed when she went out of her way to touch his arm, or playfully nudge him. Every time she would leave or get through talking to him he would excuse himself to either his room or the bathroom. Haley had faith that eventually, hopefully Sheldon will stop acting like an 8th grader and ask her out.

She knew he had a meeting with Beverly a couple days from now. Everything was building up and it would only take a piece of hay to break this camels back.

To say the least it was awkward for Haley. Bernadette couldn't look at her without getting all teary eyed, and Amy looked at her like she was a lab specimen. "So Haley, how are the medications working for you? Are they helping you curb your self destructive urges?"

"Medication doesn't cure everything Amy." Haley looked at her with narrow eyes. She was pissed that Amy had cheated on her brother with Leonard. She forgave Leonard easily, though. He was too much like another brother to her not to. The constant prodding of questions from Amy began to irk her to no end. Especially when it was about things she wished not to discuss.

"Well it helps with your serotonin levels which were out of whack at this point. I'm sure it will help in time."

Penny smiled at Amy and then looked at Haley. "Amy's just wanting to know if your ok, that's all."

"Yes that is what I was trying to in fact ask you. I'm sorry if it came out wrong."

"It's ok, and yeah I guess if feeling like a zombie is considered better…" Which was the truth for the most part. The medication made her fall asleep in class and lose what little focus she had. She had hoped it would cease, but as of yet it had not.

"Haley, I know it's hard, but Sheldon is just trying to help you. He's scared, he doesn't want to see you destroying yourself." Bernadette, looked at her once again with teary eyes. That just made Haley feel worse; Bernadette was pretty much a saint, she made a saint cry for her sins. Her foot started tapping on the floor nervously. Penny noticed this and put her arm around her in a comforting manner. " I just wish I knew what was bothering you Haley…" She sighed.

"Adolescents is a hard part of growing up, all that peer pressure." Amy smirked trying to lighten the mood. "I remember when I was fifteen I smoked a cigarette to defy my mother. It tasted horrible, but man what a rush! We all went through this Haley, man up, you'll get through it!"

'_crap on a cracker!' _Penny thought as she saw the fire in Haley's eyes when Amy told her to 'man up'.

"Really? You all went through this. Tell me then Amy, did you like it?"

Amy looked confused "Liked what? The cigarette? Of course not."

"Well you said everyone went through the same thing. Since you know me so well, and being a neurobiologist your _sooo_ smart. Did someone ever fuck you without your consent at eight?" She had finally snapped.

Bernadette put a hand to her mouth and gasped.

'_Fuck! Cat is out of the bag! Danger! Danger!…wait fuck this, your not Sheldon…RUN!'_

"What? No..oh my God…" Amy looked at her wide eyed.

Penny who was frozen the moment those words slipped from Haley's mouth snapped back and looked at her "What? Haley, your not saying…"

"I…" Haley started to say but her body went into fight or flight mode, in this case it was flight and she hopped up and flew out the door as quick as she could. She couldn't go home, she knew Penny would follow. Instead she sent a text to Hannah as she ran down the stairs _'coming over, big shit just went down. Need to lay low.' _She knew Lexi was out with her boyfriend that night so Hannah was her only choice. She just had to avoid what was ultimately going to happen. Penny would go next door and tell the guys what happened and it would all go to hell from there.

"_Whoa! Yeah, sure come over. We're going to be heading out to hang though. Better spill the dets when you get here!' _Hannah texted her back.

0000

"Oh my God…you mean…Haley was…" Bernadette couldn't even bring herself to say the word and instead she just wiped a few tears from her eyes.

"What are we going to do? We can't just ignore what she just told us." Amy said looking at Penny, who was still standing at the door, her jaw clenched tightly.

Penny was feeling a lot of emotions at that moment. She wanted to find Haley and just hug her, telling her it would be alright. She was pissed because she wanted to know what sick bastard could do such a thing to a child. Annoyed at herself and the others that they didn't recognize and think of this before. Angry at how deceitful Haley had been, lying about what had happened to her.

"We're not going to ignore it." She could care less about her awkwardness around Sheldon the past couple weeks, or the fact that he was doing whatever possible to avoid her. She needed to say something.

Not even bothering to knock, she opened the door interrupting the guys at play. At that point the initial shock and anger was gone and she found herself crying. Howard looked up at her and immediately stood up and went to her "My God Penny what's wrong?"

Sheldon looked away from the TV at her. He immediately got tense, and quickly looked back at the screen. He had feared she had come to confront him about the kiss (well more like make out session as Haley put it) in front of the guys.

"I know what happened…" She choked.

"Huh?" Leonard said pausing the game. Sheldon looked at him and glared.

"Haley…she…she snapped and told us…"

At the sound of his sister's name Sheldon snapped out of his childish behavior. "What did she tell you?"

"She lost her temper with Amy because of something she had said…and it just came out, I don't think she intended it to…" She sobbed. "How could I have been so stupid and not realize that's what she meant…"

Oddly enough it was Howard who put an arm around her and hugged her "Penny calm down, your not making any sense. What happened?"

"She told us she was raped."

Sheldon's controller dropped to the floor, and he sat there frozen. Leonard looked at her wide eyed, but couldn't formulate the words to speak.

Raj looked down at his shoes, a look of pain on his face "No…." he said aloud to himself. Howard didn't speak, he just hugged Penny tighter, and in turn Penny hugged him back. "I was going to stop her, but as soon as she said it she bolted…I don't know where she went."

Leonard looked at Sheldon, he was sitting there shaking, yet he didn't make a sound. Just looking at him, Leonard could tell something snapped inside of him. Sheldon got up and stormed past Penny and Howard out the door. "I have to find my sister…" was all he had said.

Bernadette had seen Sheldon take off down the stairs (Penny had failed to shut her door when she went next door)and hopped up out of her seat. "He's going to need a ride to go find her…I'll be back Amy.." and with that she ran down the stairs after him, leaving Amy alone in Penny's apartment. Amy felt horrible for assuming what Haley was going through. For always assuming that Haley was doing it all for attention. She couldn't even fathom how it must have felt, being a little girl, and having that done to her. Feeling she had to hide for so many years. She wiped a tear from her eye and stood up, walking next door to the others.

0000

For hours Sheldon and Bernadette drove around to all the spots Haley normally would go. She was nowhere to be found. The others formulated their own search parties and came up with nothing as well. He even called Lexi and Hannah's parents and even they didn't see her. He was a nervous wreck, that much Bernadette could tell. "Are you sure we checked everywhere?" She asked him.

"Yes…every possible place she could possibly go we have went…"

He then stopped "The beach…" the answer was obvious to him know, he cursed himself for not thinking of it sooner. "All right, then that's where we'll go." She looked at him and touched his arm "Sheldon, are you alright?"

"Of course I'm not alright, I just found out my sister was violated by some unknown person, and I was too ignorant and aloof to realize it…"

"It's not your fault."

"Yes it is…" He clenched his teeth. His hands were balled into fists and he was shaking with anger. "Whoever did this to her…he's going to wish he was dead when I get through with him."

Bernadette looked at him wide eyed. She had never heard Sheldon talk in such a way before. To threaten to cause bodily harm to someone just wasn't his character. This wasn't like the times he would attempt to blow up someone's brain with his mind, or to pull a cruel prank on someone when he was angry. No, this was an actual threat to physical harm someone. She knew then that he had lost all thought of control. He had been pushed off the edge and Bernadette didn't know what could possibly bring him back to his senses. Then again, she wanted to do the same thing to the bastard who did this to Haley.

0000

"You never said why you had to lay low for a while." Lexi asked Haley, as she took a hit of the joint the two were smoking, and handing it back to her.

"Some shit was said at Penny's, and I burned out before she could rat me out to my brother." Haley answered, as she lay on the hood of Tyson's black Camero, staring up at the night sky.

"Damn." was all Hannah could say, as she sat up and slipped off the car to join the rest of the group by the bonfire.

"You know your brother and all his friends are looking for you. I got like ten friggin texts from my mother, asking if I knew where you were."

"I figured as much, luckily when I want to disappear I know how to do it." She smirked. Her mind was reeling from the alcohol and marijuana, and she felt like her mind was at peace for the moment. She closed her eyes and started to sing along to the radio blasting. "_Tell me all that you've thrown away. Find out games you don't wanna play. You are the only one that needs to know. I'll keep you my dirty little secret. Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret. My dirty little secret…who has to know?" _

"Haley…" She heard his voice and nearly fell off the car as she bolted up to find Sheldon standing there looking at her.

"How the hell did you find me?" Instantly sobering up.

Lexi slid off the car "Way to disappear Hal." She joked as she walked off towards the bonfire.

"Bernadette and I have been searching the city for hours…having an eidetic memory though, I remembered you telling me you and your friends like to congregate at the beach…"

"Oh joy…" She muttered.

"Your coming home now. We desperately need to talk about what was said at Penny's apartment earlier…"

"Nah, I don't think so." She said laying back down on the hood and closing her eyes once again, if she couldn't see him he wasn't there. "I don't want to talk about what I said ok?"

"Haley, if you don't get down from there and come back to the car so we can go home, I will drag you to the vehicle myself." There was a darkness in his voice that she had never heard before. He didn't even think he was capable of it, but so many feelings and thoughts were overloading his brain at the present time, he felt like he was short circuiting. His blood boiled at the thought that someone had hurt the person who meant the most to him. The order he gave her was not to show dominance at being the adult, rather the need he felt to protect and prevent anything from happening to her further. Haley sat up and looked at her brother, seeing the fire in his eyes. She knew this was not the time to start arguing with him. By the look on his face, she could tell he was dead serious about physically removing her from the Camero she sat on top of. She slid down off the car and cautiously followed behind him as he turned on his foot and headed for the car.

Haley's mind was racing at a speed of 180 as she sat in the backseat. They would be back at 2311 N. Los Robles before she knew it. She was dreading this with every fiber of her being. Bernadette and Sheldon were silent, and it only made her agitation worse. Being confronted with something she emotionally and mentally could not deal with, she felt herself starting to leave her body.

_I wander off to my special place_

_The one that no one sees_

_Here I am invincible_

_Vulnerable_

_Like watching a scene from a movie_

_I am the spectator_

_I cannot stop what is being done._

_She is not me_

_Pain is unfelt_

_Yet crimson pours_

_I'm safe in this world_

_From all of her life's scars._

_0000_

The apartment was empty when they arrived. Bernadette had dropped them off, telling them she was going to head home because Howard was there waiting for her. Haley knew of course it was an excuse to give her brother a chance to talk to her alone. The rest had obviously taken the hint and went back to their own apartments. Leonard of course went to Amy's'. _'please, please don't make me talk about this. I don't want to speak of it…' _Her mind begged silently as she made a beeline for her room. She was so fast, by the time Sheldon realized she wasn't in the living room with him, She had already shut the door and quickly dressed down to her pajama's and crawled into bed, throwing the covers over her head. In the quiet and solitude of her room she started to cry. _"I can go to sleep and forget this happened…under here I'm safe…" _She thought, until she heard the door open and close.

It took Sheldon a minute to realize that Haley had slipped past him and ran to her room. He took a few minutes to compose himself before he went to go talk to her. There was no way to prepare a speech for this. Nor was there any way to understand the situation with the use of science. He paused for a moment outside Haley's door when he could hear that she was crying. _"She's in pain….she needs me…How can I comfort her though? I can't go back in time and stop what happened, if only I were able to create a time machine…" _He opened the door without knocking and closed it gently behind him. Walking over to her bed, he sat down and pulled the covers from her face. She had her face buried in the pillow. He couldn't just walk out at that point. He needed answers right then and there. "Haley…pretending to be asleep will not make me go away. I told you we needed to talk, so we are."

Haley slowly rose from the pillow and turned around, sitting up she leaned her back against the headboard, running a hand through her hair. "What do you want me to tell you?" She choked "That what Penny had told I said was true? Do you want to really know?"

"I believe I do…" He stopped rethinking what he had said "No wait…I need to know Haley. I cannot pretend I didn't hear about what you said." He didn't believe in a higher power, but for some reason he found himself silently praying that the girls had misunderstood Haley.

"She wasn't lying…"

Sheldon drew a deep breath and looked at her. This was the truth he had wanted to hear since he found out about his sister's double life. Now he was wishing he could take it back, hearing it only made things worse. There was no relief of knowing, only anger and sense of failure that he let his guard down and let something horrible happen to Haley.

"When did this happen?" He asked quietly, not taking his eyes off her.

She shifted uncomfortably. "I was eight…when it started…"

He looked at her confused "Started? I do not understand…"

"It happens a lot…for almost two years…" _'too much information. Shut up Haley…' _Her mind screamed. She felt herself beginning to detach from her consciousness again.

Sheldon knew she was started to fade out by the look in her face. She was confronted with something she couldn't deal with at that moment. He heard this phrase used so many times to him in the past month, it was frustrating. He knew if he pushed her further she would break. That was the last thing he wanted, so he just nodded "It's alright…we can talk about it tomorrow. You probably should go to sleep and sober up. The alcohol is preventing you from having a clear train of thought."

Haley simply nodded and settled herself back down onto her pillow. "Thanks…" she said quietly, as she watched Sheldon pull the covers up over her and kiss her on the forehead.

He then got up and headed to the door. "I'm not going to let whoever it is get away with this. I will not let anyone hurt you and walk away without enduring the consequences." There was a dangerous tone in his voice, menacing and revenge seeking almost.

Haley watched him walk down the hall towards the living room and took a deep breath. This was just what she had feared, she had broke Sheldon.


	15. Strawberry Gashes

**(Updated version of chapter fifteen! I'm getting there you guys! A few more days and I'll be back on track to start chapter twenty-eight!) **

**(Soooo Sheldon gets lucky in this chapter…I don't think I'm going to make it very graphic…I'm not a pornographic novelist…anymore haha!)**

Chapter fifteen: Strawberry Gashes

_Curse me sold her_

_The poison that runs it's course through her_

_Pale white skin with strawberry gashes all over all over_

_Watch me fault her_

_"You're living like a disaster"_

_She said kill me faster_

_with strawberry gashes all over_

~Jack off Jill

Six years ago

_It was well past midnight and Sheldon was sound asleep when his bedroom door creaked open. He immediately opened his eyes and turned his head to see Haley tiptoeing over to the bed, dragging her doll behind her by its arm. She tugged on his pajama shirt a few times before he sat up and looked down at her with a slight frown "Haley, it is two in the morning, you should be asleep. It has disrupted my REM sleep." _

"_I can't sleep, I'm scared." she said in a tiny voice. _

"_Why?"_

"_That guy who comes over by Penny's told me a story this weeping ghost lady from Mexico who drowned her three babies in a river and then hung herself and now she goes after little boys and girls searching for her babies that she killed."_

_Sheldon scoffed and shook his head "There is no such thing as ghosts or a weeping woman who murdered her children. Your mind was simply playing tricks on you." He was not pleased that the idiot that Penny was currently seeing had told his sister such nonsense and now she was unable to fall asleep. He just didn't understand how attractive women always go for idiotic men who failed to treat women right and were about as smart as pond water. _

"_I still heard something…"She squeaked. He looked at his sister and sighed, not able to tell her to go back to her room to let him resume his sleep schedule. He could tell the story she was told had actually frightened her. She was just as gullible as he was at that age. He still was, but that was a matter of opinion on his part._

_He reached down and picked her up, setting her on the bed beside him. "You may sleep here tonight, though I must say it seems as if this is becoming a habit for you. You come crawling in my bed at least twice a week."_

"_Cause I feel safe. I know you won't let the monsters get me." She said as she buried herself under the covers till only her little head peaked out. _

"_Monsters aren't real, but I suppose if they were you would be correct. I wouldn't let anything harm you…" _

_0000_

_Called her over_

_and asked her if she was improving_

_She said "feels fine" _

_it's wonderful wonderful here_

_Hex me told her_

_I dreamt of a devil that knew her_

_Pale white skin with strawberry gashes all over all over_

After leaving Haley's room, Sheldon walked to the kitchen to make himself some hot tea. _'How did I let this happen?' _He had thought of giving Beverly a call, but at that moment he just couldn't seem to process words. Going through the motions he did all the steps he usually did to prepare the perfect cup of tea he always made for himself

"_I lay quiet_

_waiting for her voice to say_

_"Some things you lose and some things you just give away"_

Standing at the table staring down into his cup, he tried to go about in a normal fashion. His mind though, was raging with turbulence. Sheldon Cooper might have seemed like an innocent man child to everyone, but he wasn't stupid. The thought of someone placing their hands on his little sister and forcing her to conduct in lewd acts that no child should have to endure, made him grip the edge of the table tightly.

"_Scold me failed her_

_If only I'd held on tighter to her_

_Pale white skin that twisted and withered_

_away from me away from me"_

The question that loomed in his head was _'who is it…' _His mind went through his list of friends at first, being that they were the ones Haley had contact with the most, but it didn't add up. She was too comfortable around them, and unafraid. It wasn't any of them he knew automatically. He couldn't think of anyone in mind, and that only made him more upset. He went to take a sip of his tea but stopped and looked down at his shaking hands.

"_Watch me lose her_

_It's almost like losing myself_

_Give her my soul_

_and let them take somebody else…"_

Throwing the cup against the refrigerator and watching it smash and fall to the floor, Sheldon didn't even bother to clean it up. Instead he walked next door and started to knock on Penny's door.

Knock knock knock

"Penny"

Knock knock knock

"Penny'

His voice was more urgent now. He needed to talk to someone before he exploded.

Knock knock knock

"PENNY!"

Penny opened the door, her eyes were red as if she had been crying, and despite the time she was wide awake. "Is she alright?" were the first words she said to him.

"She is sleeping, she didn't tell me much…when she tried she experienced an emotional overload and started to dissociate…so I let her go to sleep." He took a deep breath and leaned against the doorway. "It wasn't one time Penny…whoever did this…it happened a lot more than once…"

"How can anyone do that to a little girl…" She choked.

Stepping aside she let Sheldon inside and closed the door behind him. He didn't sit in his normal spot, he just paced back and forth like a caged animal. "Penny, I don't know what to do. These feelings I have are not right…but I cannot seem to control myself."

"Sheldon it's normal to feel anger in this kind of situation. I'm angry too…and sad…and confused…and pretty much everything you can think of right now."

"I want to kill him…whoever he is." He said with a dark finality.

Penny looked at him wide eyed "That's not the answer. That son of a bitch needs to be locked up…"

"What he needs is to be in a pine box buried six feet below…" He fumed. "How could I let this happen? I always pay attention to every single detail…how could I miss this?"

Penny walked over to him and touched his arm gently "Sheldon it's not your fault. You need to calm down…"

"I can't…I have to fix this.." His mind was racing he needed to do something, instead of standing there idol. Penny grabbed him by the sleeve and pulled him to the couch pushing him down onto it. "Sheldon, please…calm down." She sat down next to him. "If she won't tell us who it is…we'll have to find out ourselves."

Sheldon didn't know how to explain what was going through his mind at that moment, but in that instant he lost all sense of his self as he grabbed Penny by the shoulders and pulled her to him, pressing his lips against hers. Penny gasped at his sudden action but kissed him back. A red flag flew in her mind when he stuck his tongue in her mouth "_Who is this man and where is the germophobic whackadoodle that I've known for nearly nine years go?" _

She couldn't deny the fact he was actually a pretty good kisser for being so inexperienced. There was something in the way he wrapped his arms around her waists trying to pull her closer till she was practically in his lap that made his actions seem needy almost.

Sheldon couldn't lie to himself. He was giving in to his basal instincts, in this moment of desperation. He needed to feel close to someone, to Penny actually. She was the one who was there with him through it all. He felt idiotic for not showing her how much she meant to him sooner. He pulled her onto his lap and deepened the kiss.

Penny pulled back and looked at him carefully "Are you sure about this Sheldon?" She was breathing heavily.

"Yes." was all he said, and she resumed kissing him. She reposition herself so she was straddling him. When his hands started to wander up her shirt her heart nearly stopped. He was very forward with his intentions, and Penny found herself more than willing to let him take the lead. He slipped her nightshirt off with ease and began to kiss her neck. "I want you.." He whispered in a husky voice, his hands roaming her breasts.

"You can have me." She moaned softly. He grabbed her thighs and lifted her up off the couch with him. She wrapped her legs around his waist and kissed him fiercely as they headed into the bedroom.

Clothes were quickly discarded before they even hit the bed. Penny couldn't believe this was actually going to happen with Sheldon Cooper of all people. He was completely sober this time, showing no indication that any of this was freaking him out.

"Are you sure you're sure about this." Penny asked once more, looking up at him. He kissed her neck softly and nodded "I need you Penny…" there was a begging tone in his voice. He paused for a moment unsure of if it was alright for him to continue or not. She could feel his length pressing against her opening and she knew he was waiting for the ok. She leaned up and kissed him passionately, grabbing him by the hips, pulling him deep within her. He let out a gasp, and buried his face into her neck.

"God, Penny." He murmured as he began to move within her. Now he knew why the others were so obsessed with sex. It felt so good, so intoxicating he found himself forgetting all his problems.

Penny moaned loudly, wrapping her legs tightly around his waist, intensifying the feeling as he began to thrust faster. The tenderness and passion he showed towards her was something she had not experienced with another man, Leonard included. It was strange to her how perfectly they fit and she never noticed it before until recently.

She felt herself reaching her peak, as she threw back her head against the mattress and cried out his name. "Sheldon…"

He silenced her cries with pressing his lips to hers passionately, as he reached his own climax. He gave a few more slow thrusts before he removed himself and collapsed beside her.

They lay there silent for a few minutes before Penny turned over to look at him. She let the words slip out before she could stop herself "I love you." The three words she always feared to say. Every time before she had said them something bad had always happened. "I'm sorry…I shouldn't have…" She began, but before she could finish her sentence Sheldon pulled her to him and kissed her gently on the lips. "I think in some way I have always known that I love you…"

0000

After Sheldon had went back to his apartment, Penny's phone started going off and she groaned in annoyance reaching for it. "_Who the hell could that be…" _She thought. She flipped it open and saw it was a text from Lexi.

_Lexi: Giggity Giggity Alright!" _

"Damn kids.." she said tossing the phone beside her , not understanding what in the world it meant, and crawling under her covers, completely exhausted from the activity she just participated in.

0000

He made his way back to his apartment a little while later, to find Haley sitting on the couch, with a cigarette in her hand watching Supernatural. She noticed Sheldon and arched an eyebrow. She then looked back to the TV and muttered "Mission accomplished."

He gave her and odd stare "Why are you up?"

She shrugged "Couldn't sleep…" She said quietly, eyes not leaving the TV. Her foot was tapping on the floor nervously.

He walked over to the couch and sat down next to her in his spot. After what had happened between him and Penny he found himself calmer. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked. He looked down at her arms and saw new bandages and sighed "Haley…why?"

Haley looked down at her own arms and then at Sheldon and fidgeted slightly. " To feel…to remind myself I'm still alive."

"You are alive Haley." He reached out and brushed a stray piece of her hair back behind her ears.

"I don't feel like it…I feel like…" She paused trying to find the words to describe how she felt. "I'm just a ghost of who I used to be…that I'm one of many things trapped inside this body…"

"I'm sorry…I was not there to protect you…" He pulled her close to him and rested his chin atop of her head.

"It's not your fault Shelly…" _'It's mine."_

"Why didn't you tell me? Why couldn't you trust me?" His voice was sad and strained.

"I didn't want to hurt you…I was eight years old…I was scared, I didn't know what to do…and then…after a while…I learned to block it out…each time it happened…"

"When was the last time this happened…" He was trying not to cry as he spoke the words. Having her actually acknowledging and speaking of it only made him want to hold onto her tighter. How long did his baby sister have to suffer in silence?

"It stopped for a while when I was ten and a half…" The long paused made his heart almost stop.

"Haley, when was the last time this happened." He repeated the question.

"Not too long ago at all…" She replied with a riddle of the sorts. Then the words started to flow out of her "It always makes my skin crawl…the things he says to me…during. Oh, there's just something about you Haley…You're so pretty Haley…I need you Haley…You know you want it Haley…Our little secret Haley…I can't live without you…" She paused and pulled away from Sheldon looking at the enraged expression on his face. "I'm sorry I said too much…"

"No…I want you to talk to me…" He pulled her back to him and hugged her tightly. "If you tell me who it is…Please tell me who did this to you."

Haley shook her head "I can't. My life is a living hell as it is, do you think I want to go to school with everyone knowing I was the girl who was sexually abused? Because believe me…if I told you…by the time everything was done…everyone would know…I wouldn't be able to live with myself, with all of that…"

"_Is that the only reason?" _The voice questioned in a mocking tone.

Sheldon was at a loss. He knew he had to find out who had done this to her, whether she liked it or not. As her father for all intent purposes, it was his job to keep her safe. Right now, he knew by just looking at her that she wasn't safe at all, even with herself. Making a mental note to talk to Leonard and Penny and devise a plan to find out the unknown person terrorizing his sister.


	16. Hello

**(Updated version of chapter sixteen)**

**(Sorry about how long this took. I moved and we were without internet for a while. Not to mention I had to do quite a bit of research on this particular subject. As the story progressed we seen Haley having mild to semi severe episodes of dissociation. This is a coping mechanism she had developed over time to block out the events that occurred. She didn't remember the event during the time it happened, only afterwards, as if she were watching someone else involved and not herself.**

**"In early childhood, children are still developing a personality structure that allows integrative functioning. Trauma greatly interferes with the development of integrative metacognitive functions and associative pathways between naturally developing ego states, enforcing separation instead of diffuse and inclusive functioning. Repeated activation of trauma-related dissociative states (while the ****myelin**** in the hippocampus is still being formed) conditions the brain to function state-dependently and form dissociative identities." )**

Chapter sixteen: Hello

_If I smile and don't believe_

_Soon I know I'll wake from this dream_

_Don't try to fix me, _

_I'm not broken_

_Hello I am the lie living for you so you can hide_

_Don't cry_

_~ Evanescence_

_Sheldon was glad to be heading home after a whole summer stuck in the artic doing research that amounted to absolutely nothing at all. What he had thought was a breakthrough was nothing more than a can opener. He was furious with his friends for letting him believe the data was correct and valid, he even went as far as writing a confirmation to the head of the physics department on the matter. Despite the harsh cold, limited resources, and being confined into a small location with Raj, Leonard, and Howard, it was the absence of Haley's presence that bothered him the most. He was going to turn down the offer, but it was Penny who told them they should go ahead, offering to take care of Haley while he was away. _

_It nearly broke his heart to see her cry and cling to his leg the day he left for his expedition. What made things worse was he had no way of contacting anyone outside of his team, so he didn't know how things were going. _

_The day he returned, he found himself rushing up the stairs to get to his apartment, leaving the guys in a trail of dust. Penny was sitting on the couch watching TV when Sheldon walked in and dropped his bags to the floor. _

_Penny's eyes lit up when she saw hi "Sheldon! I'm so glad you guys are back." as she got up and walked over to him._

"_Thank you Penny. It is good to be home."_

"_I'll bet…"She laughed. _

"_Where's Haley?" He asked, glancing around the front room._

"_She's asleep. Don't get mad, but she's been sleeping in your room since you left." _

_Sheldon blinked "Why would I be upset? She's been crawling in my bed since she was five." _

"_Oh, well I know how much you hate people being in your room." _

_"My Haley is the exception..." He then stopped realizing what he said, hoping Penny wouldn't notice. _

_Her face looked like she was staring at a basket of bunnies. "Aw. You missed her didn't you?" _'This is real growth on his part.' _she thought._

"_I did not." He huffed "It just threw my schedule off track. Haley is an essential part of my daily life." _'I did miss her little laugh, and her smile.' _he thought, as he headed to his bedroom. Sure enough, turning on the on the lights he saw Haley sprawled out on top of the covers fast asleep. He walked over to the bed and sat down next to her. He immediately felt his frustration disappear as he looked down at her. He leaned forward and kissed her gently on the forehead, then stood up to head to the bathroom in order to take a shower. _

_Haley's eyes flew open and she sat up, rubbing her eyes. Sheldon heard the bed lurch and he turned around just in time as Haley_ _jumped off the bed into his arms. "Shelly!" She shrieked. He couldn't help but smile as she hung on him like a little monkey. It brought him a strange warm feeling inside to know his little sister missed him when he wasn't around. Most people could only take Sheldon in small doses, since his odd habits and egotistical attitude often made people avoid him. _

"_I see that you have claimed my room as your own while I was away." He said looking at the dolls and bears thrown around the room and sighed. It was in complete and utter chaos._

"_I just like staying in here instead." She said as he placed her back down on the bed. _

"_Why?"_

"_Because it's your room and I was sad when you went away." Haley looked down at her feet, tears welling up in those big blue eyes as she started to cry. He was never prepared for her crying fits, but over the past two years he learned to not be completely freaked out and awkward when it happened. _

"_I apologize for leaving, I didn't want to go away without you, but I really did not have a choice. It was essential to my field of study, and for the greater good of mankind." _

"_I know, but I didn't like it. It was only me and Penny." _

"_Penny and I." He corrected. _

"_That's what I said" She gave him a dirty look, and started crying again. _

_He knew she was getting frustrated and was overtired. He picked her up and hugged her tightly. "Shh it's alright. Sheldon's here now." _

_She sniffled, burying her face into his neck "You won't leave me anymore?" _

"_No, I will not. I promise. Just please do not cry. I dislike seeing you upset."_

"_I just thought that you left cause you didn't want me…" She cried. _

_Sheldon let out a gaspy laugh "That's ridiculous. Why ever would you think I didn't want you?" He paused "You're my little girl." _

"_Really?" _

"_Yes. You always will be." He smiled at her, and headed out the room into the kitchen with her in tow. "Let me get you some warm milk. It will help you go back to sleep." _

_0000_

Haley sat in the backseat of the car with her headphones on softly singing along to a song _"I'm about to lose my mind you've been gone for so long, I'm running out of time. I need a doctor, call me a doctor I need a doctor… doctor to bring me back to life…"_ Sheldon had insisted on calling in for her that day, just because he didn't feel comfortable at that time letting her out of his sight. Leonard glanced in the mirror at Haley and sighed. He didn't know what to say about any of this. Coming home a few minutes before work he found Haley and Sheldon in the living room, neither of them seemed to have gotten any sleep. "Hey Haley, there are some places on campus that you can skateboard, just in case you get bored." He said, trying to make conversation.

She paused her ipod "Cool story bro..." The rest of the car ride was silence.

0000

At lunch time Sheldon made Haley accompany Leonard, Raj, Howard and himself to the cafeteria to get something to eat. The awkwardness was heavy at the table. No one knew what to say. They didn't want to upset Haley with prodding questions about what was discovered last night. Then again speaking of normal things just couldn't be done with what was weighing on their minds. Haley was on her laptop at the table while the guys just looked at her. Sheldon sighed "Haley, you need to eat…"

Haley gave him a stare and pulled out a bag of flaming hot cheetos from her hoodie, took a handful and shoved them into her mouth. "There" she mumbled.

Raj was the first one to break the silence "Haley, if you need to talk to anyone…you know we're all here for you…"

"I know Raj, but honestly I don't want to talk about it…or you all acting like…this. It creeps me out."

"We're sorry Haley…we're just upset…what happened to you is wrong. Why can't you even say who it is?" Howard looked at her with saddened eyes.

"I'll tell you the same thing I told Sheldon this morning. It's just going to open up a whole can of worms and by the end everyone will know."

She was on her facebook at that moment when a message appeared in her inbox. She clicked it and felt the room go cold. It was a message from Aaron, he obviously made a new profile to try and contact her. '_God…' _She thought as she clicked the message and read it.

_Aaron Meloy : _

_You are so beautiful_

_You are the kind of girl _

_that has the chemicals _

_that makes me fall in love _

(A minute ago)

Haley remained completely calm and normal, being in the presence of her brother and his friends, she couldn't falter less they think something was wrong. She wrote back.

_Haley Marie Cooper: What do you want Aaron? Isn't it enough that you get what you want every Wednesday? Can't I have some piece of mind ever?" _

She pressed send.

_Aaron Meloy: I overheard Hannah saying you were seeing a therapist for some problems. I hope you didn't tell about our little secret. You look so pretty today…by the way. _

_(a few seconds ago) _

Haley froze as she read his words. _'Oh god…he's here somewhere…" _She looked around the room, but didn't see him. She tried to keep her breathing normal as she thought. "Hey Howard, anything new with the engineering department?"

Sheldon laughed "Like that would be of any interest to us…"

Howard glared at him and looked back to Haley "Not much, we have some kid shadowing us, he's going to be enrolling in the program this summer. Smart kid, weird, but smart."

"Sweet deal." She said with a fake smile. _'Fuck my life.' _

_Haley Marie Cooper: I didn't tell. _

Send.

_Aaron Meloy: Good. It's not like you didn't want it…besides no offence but who's going to believe it anyways? Be a good girl and meet me in the engineering lab. I miss you, and I know you have been missing me._

_(A few seconds ago)_

Haley's ears were ringing and she couldn't hear what the guys were even talking about at this point. "_what am I going to do?'_ her brain screamed to her.

_Haley Marie Cooper: I can't I'm eating lunch, WITH MY BROTHER AND HIS FRIENDS. You know they all work here. _

Send.

She hoped that would scare him. She felt herself getting dizzy and perspiring with cold sweat. Leonard was staring at her the whole time. "Who you talking to Haley?" He asked.

"Just Lexi, she snuck on facebook at school. Just telling me about a huge test I have to make up tomorrow." She lied, then saw a new message appear.

_Aaron Meloy: Haley, don't test me. Remember what happened last time you didn't do as I told you? _

_(a minute ago) _

Haley remembered alright, she had bruises all up and down her back, chest and arms from his angered blows, when she tried to run from him one night when she was nine. By that point she had become a mastermind at hiding all evidence. One thing he said a few weeks ago stuck in her head and haunted her dreams more than being a social outcast and losing her friends.

"_If you ever tell, I will kill you." He whispered in a deadly voice as he crawled off her and stood, pulling his jeans back up. _

"_You'd still go to jail." Haley said bitterly. "and no you won't…."_

"_You are sadly mistaken. If I kill you, I'd have to kill myself, since I can't live without you…It will look like a double suicide. You, hiding your alcohol and drug problem from your sweet and innocent brother. I'm not stupid, I know you're a pothead…not to mention you being friends with my sister, I know you probably have dabbled with E and Meth as well. Not to mention the affair you were having with me, you could no longer live with yourself, especially after lying and telling him I raped you. It's the perfect plan my dear Juliet." _

_Haley shuddered in fear. He was completely insane and knew he was not joking with her. She felt completely trapped, but then again she had been this way for so long, it almost felt normal to her. _

Haley logged off her computer and closed it. She got up and pushed the chair under the table. Sheldon looked up at her "Where are you going?"

"Back to your office. I don't feel well." She did indeed feel sick to her stomach at that point, but she knew she wasn't heading to Sheldon's office.

"Alright. I have to do a few things, but I will be back there soon." He said, slightly worried. Haley walked over to him and hugged him tightly. There was something about this hug that concerned him, she was shaky and he could feel dread radiating from her. He hugged her back. She then walked out of the cafeteria and disappeared down the hall. Leonard sat there, his brow furrowed. "That didn't seem normal."

"What do you expect dude? How could you ever be normal after being raped…" Raj blurted out and then put a hand to his mouth. "I'm sorry Sheldon…I didn't mean…"

"It's alright." He said distantly. His mind was trying to focus on anything else but the issue at hand. It was the only thing keeping him from completely losing his cool and smashing something.

"So did she tell you anything when you brought her home?" Howard asked. "Bernadette was crying all night. She doesn't like a lot of kids…but she really loves Hal…it tore her up."

"Yes. I'm afraid it wasn't just a one time occurrence. She told me its been going on since she was eight…"

Leonard looked at Sheldon bewildered "You mean to fucking tell me someone has been sexually abusing her for four and a half damn years and we didn't notice?" He was furious.

" I'm going to make him pay though…" He said darkly. The guys looked at Sheldon with concern. They knew once he found out who it was they were going to have to keep him from doing something insane.

"What about Lexi or Hannah's? I mean…what about their fathers?" Howard asked.

"I don't think so…I don't even think Lexi has a father who is around and Hannah's is some kind of evangelist." Sheldon answered.

Leonard thought for a moment "Doesn't Hannah have an older brother?"

"I don't know. Why would have something like that ever have interested me before?" Sheldon sat there for a moment and thought back. Haley never mentioned Hannah having a brother, although he did hear Hannah say it once or twice when she was over at the apartment. Before he could get the gears in his brain to start turning Amy came into the cafeteria and walked over to their table. Leonard smiled when he saw her.

"Hey you guys." the perkiness was gone from her voice that afternoon. "I heard Haley was here, can I talk to her?" The words that were exchanged last night weighed on her heavily. She felt a desperate need to talk to Haley, to apologize for assuming, and to just offer to be there for her. Something she never really did when she and Sheldon were together.

"I would wait a while. She went back to my office, she said she was feeling ill." Sheldon said normally.

"How are you holding up?" She said putting a hand on his shoulder. He stiffened slightly at the touch "Aside from having random homicidal thoughts, I am feeling perfectly fine."

Amy just nodded and then turned to look at Leonard "Will you be coming over tonight?"

Leonard nodded "Yeah, I'll see you then."

"Alright. I'll be heading back to work after I talk to Haley." and with that she left.

0000

Haley felt completely disgusted with herself as she headed back to Sheldon's office an hour later. Aaron pulled her into a bathroom and did what he pleased. She rubbed her sore arm where he wrapped his hand around and pulled her with force. Purposely making a bruise was his intent. A little dose of punishment for trying to say no.

'_I'm nothing more than an object…am I even living?' _She pulled the hood of her All Time Low sweatshirt over her head and tried to think about anything else but the shame and confusion she always felt afterwards.

'_You brought it on yourself' _The voice in her head hissed. _'You're the one to blame in all of this. Might as well just end it all now, spare Sheldon further grief…"_

"Go away…" She muttered angrily.

"_You know what you have to do to make me go away…" _

"I know…" She answered to it aloud.

She saw Amy waiting by Sheldon's door and her stomach dropped. _'God, what fresh hell is this?'_

Amy looked at her and smiled slightly "Hey Haley, I have been waiting for you to get back." She frowned slightly when she noticed that Haley was speaking to someone or something that wasn't visible to her.

"Are you alright?"

"I-I-I'm fine." She managed to say. "What are you d-d-doing here?" _'She knows your crazy. Normal people don't talk to voices in their head." _

"I came to talk to you…about last night. Haley I'm so sorry I didn't know…I shouldn't have assumed."

"It's alright. No one knew…I didn't want them to." She paused and looked around. "Lets talk in Sheldon's office…I don't feel right talking about this out here."

"Of course…That would be more appropriate." Amy agreed following her in the office. Haley shut the door behind them and went to sit in her brother's chair while Amy sat in Raj's. Haley turned the radio on low, and turned to a random rock station. The song playing was ironic.

_"I see nothing in your eyes, and the more I see the less I like._  
><em>Is it over yet, in my head?<em>  
><em>I know nothing of your kind, and I won't reveal your evil mind.<em>  
><em>Is it over yet? I can't win.<em>  
><em>So sacrifice yourself, and let me have what's left.<em>  
><em>I know that I can find the fire in your eyes.<em>  
><em>I'm going all the way, get away, please.<em>  
><em>You take the breath right out of me.<em>  
><em>You left a hole where my heart should be.<em>  
><em>You got to fight just to make it through,<em>  
><em>'cause I will be the death of you.<em>  
><em>This will be all over soon.<em>  
><em>Pour salt into the open wound.<em>  
><em>Is it over yet?"<em>

"Why did you feel you couldn't tell anyone?" Amy said after a few moments of silence.

She was staring at one of Sheldon's erase boards when she answered. "It's been going on for well over four years…and the person…lets just say he's fucked up beyond belief…"

"I would assume so, people who abuse children have severe psychological problems."

"He's that too…but that's not what I mean…" She didn't know why she was telling Amy all of this, but given what just occurred less than an hour ago her mind was reeling and off in another place anyways. She was getting close to exposing it all, and she didn't even realize it. The voices were pushing her to a place she knew she shouldn't go, but at that point there was nothing she could do to stop them. _'Stop lying Haley, you know you wanted it. You're just like Missy and you know it.' _The voice taunted.

"Leave me alone." Haley whined as she put her head in her hands. She felt herself beginning to break. She was starting to slip away, somewhere she never had been before.

"_Haley don't listen to him…" _Another soft, gentle voice said to her. _"I'll speak for you…" _Haley understood and let them take the reigns.

"I'm not sure I understand…" She looked at her confused.

"Your pretty good at deciphering things…listen to this…maybe you'll get it."

Amy watched as Haley hooked her ipod up to the stereo and pressed play for the song, on the part she wanted her to hear.

"_I'm gonna make damn sure that you can't ever leave_

_No you wont ever get too far from me_

_You won't ever get too far from me _

_I'll make damn sure _

_That you can't ever leave_

_I just want to break you down so badly _

_In the worst way"_

Amy breathed heavily "You're his obsession…and he threatened to hurt you if you tell." She couldn't believe Haley was telling her this, before anyone else. She and Haley never seen eye to eye, yet here she was listening to Haley telling her things everyone has been bending over backwards to get out of her.

"Yeah, we are his obsession." She said rolling the chair right in front of Amy. "But it's more than that…do you want to know a secret?"

She leaned forward. Amy noticed her eyes, distant and cold, but she was smiling. "Sure." She looked at Haley, watching her twitch and shake. The fact that she was referring to herself as "We" made Amy begin to worry. _Why is she talking about herself as being more than one person? Is she having a mental breakdown? Do I get Sheldon?" _

"He's here."

_'Guess you really do have a death wish. Well here's a little bit of advice. Next time you take that razor why don't you go down the road and not across the street." _The evil voice leered to Haley, who was hiding at that point.

"_Don't listen to him Haley. Don't worry, I'll take care of this…" _

Amy was about to ask her who was in fact here but it came to here quickly and her eyes widened, "You mean…he was here? The person who…"She couldn't continue to speak, this was more than she thought she would be told.

Haley nodded. "But we can't tell…Haley said we might be able to trust you."

Amy didn't know what to say at that point, but it didn't matter because Haley started to speak again. "You know that son of a bitch was almost eighteen when he started forcing us to fuck him? He told us there was something about us that attracted him. Guess he couldn't lose his V card with someone his own age so he solved his problem using us." She started laughing really hard as she got up and started to pace around the room like a totally different person. "We hated it…every week it would happen over and over again. You know what's so screwed up? We hate it and our mind is always saying this is wrong and we don't want it, but at the same time We started to like it…started to feel things we shouldn't…doesn't that make us just as fucked up?" She kept running her hands through her hair repetitively. "Haley said she can't live like this anymore…" She leaned back against the wall, sliding down onto the floor in a sitting position.

"Why are you talking like that? You are Haley." Amy looked at her.

She laughed "My name is Cassie…Haley couldn't take it anymore so she went somewhere else for the time being."

"Cassie?" Amy knew exactly what was present and what had just occurred. A second personality of Haley's had shown itself to her. "How long have you known Haley?" She tried to keep calm, in a normal scenario, this would be fascinating research, but this was Haley. She had known her since she was an eight year old little girl, and this was Sheldon's sister. So research and observation would never be an option.

"Since she was eight…Whenever he would hurt Haley and she would go away, it was me who took her place. I always hid and i went away for a while, but Haley has gotten so bad that she couldn't take it anymore, so I decided to let her take the back seat for the time being, so I could tell you what she is too afraid to say."

"What is she too afraid to say?" Amy asked. She noticed the quick change in Haley yet again as she put her head in her hands, grabbing at her hair.

She didn't like this, she didn't like floating away like that. She willed herself to return back to consciousness. She was grounded to her body and she was cracking. "I want my brother…" She didn't even realize she was crying at this point. Why the hell was she crying?

What they didn't notice was Sheldon and Raj had been standing in the doorway for the past five minutes. Raj's eyes widened and Sheldon immediately pushed past Amy and went to Haley. He kneeled down in front of her and placed his hands on her shoulders "Haley. I'm here."

Haley looked up and lurched forward wrapping her arms around his neck in an embrace. "Please make it go away…"

"I don't know how to…" He said in desperation, as he helped her to her feet. "Haley, what can't you tell?"

Haley looked at him wide eyed in fear "You…you heard what I was saying?"

Sheldon slowly nodded, "Raj and I were standing there for a while…" He knew his sister was sick, and not the physical kind of sick. The trauma she endured over and over again had completely broken her mind. It had taken four years for the strings holding her together to snap, but he knew this was it. It was an overload of senses and realization he was often oblivious of, yet now it was so clear, what was going on inside of her head, almost as if it were written in Klingon for him to comprehend.

"I'm so fucked up…" She sobbed into his shirt. All he could do at that point was just hold her tightly, not wanting to let her go lest she slip away someplace where he could not pull her back. Raj had slid down to the floor and was just sitting there shaking his head in sadness. Amy however, looked right at Sheldon and mouthed "He's here."

Sheldon felt his heart pounding in his chest as he took in what Amy had relayed to him. His eyes were smoldering with rage as he looked down at Haley. _'If only I had enough sense to keep my father's shotgun…none of this would have ever happened.' _He thought, but knew that a manhunt was not the best solution at the moment. It was getting his sister out of there and back home where he knew she was safe. "Raj…" He looked over at him. "Please relay the situation at hand to Doctor Gablehauser. I'm taking Haley home…"

Raj nodded "Anything you need man…" He got to his feet and quickly left. After Raj ran out Sheldon got his phone out of his pocket and sent a text to Beverly.

"_I think we need to arrange that meeting for tonight. Haley just had some kind of breakdown here at Caltech. ~ Dr. Sheldon Cooper "_

_0000_

As Raj was heading down the hall he bumped into someone and nearly fell to the ground. "Sorry." Raj muttered regaining his balance.

"It's no problem." The guy said. "My fault actually, I should have been paying attention."

When Raj looked at him he looked oddly familiar, but he couldn't figure out where he had seen him before. He had dark brown curly hair and blue eyes, wearing a flannel shirt and jeans. The guy had the same look on his face. Like he knew him from somewhere. "Aren't you Sheldon's friend….Raj is it?"

"Yeah, Dr. Cooper is one of my friends…who are you?"

"I'm Aaron…his little sister is best friends with my sister Hannah…You came with Leonard to pick Haley up a few times. " He smiled.

"That's where I remember you from." Raj said politely with a smile, but his mind was focused on trying to get the important message he had to Dr. Gablehauser. "You go to school here?"

"I will be. I'm transferring here from a college back east. I just came to take a look at the engineering department." He said with a shrug, perfectly normal…a little too normal. "Well I better get going. I'll see you around." and with that he disappeared down the stairs. Raj then resumed the mission he was on, not thinking that the person who he just bumped into was the man of Haley's nightmares.


	17. Trade Mistakes

**(Updated)**

**(I'd like to thank zipporah grace for reminding me of the song "Trade Mistakes"! I decided to title seventeen as such. You were totally right! Fits perfect!)**

Chapter seventeen: Trade Mistakes

_So, let me save you_

_hold this rope and ill pull you in_

_Cause I am an anchor, save her or _

_Feel it sinking in_

_Let me save you, hold this rope_

_I am an anchor, sinking her_

_I may never sleep tonight,_

_As long as you're still burning bright_

_I could trade mistakes for sheep,_

_Count me away before you sleep._

_I'll stay awake till I trade my mistakes_

_Or they fade away_

~ Panic! at the disco

Leonard had dropped Sheldon and Haley off at the apartment and went back to work. Dr. Gablehauser was more than understanding of what was going on and told Raj to tell Sheldon that he could take as long as he needs in order to help Haley. For once in his life he knew his something else meant more to him than physics, and that was his sister. Haley walked in before him quiet and withdrawn once more. His mind was still processing what she had said earlier in his office to Amy. It frightened him to witness the shift in her personality. Beverly had messaged him in the car saying she would be there by 3:30. Glancing at the clock, it was only 2:25. An hour seemed like an eternity at this particular moment as he watched her sit down on the couch, notebook in her hand as she resumed the writing she started during the car ride. Hair every which way from constantly running her hands through it, her feet tapped nervously on the floor as she sat there in complete concentration. He walked over to her and sat down next to her in his spot. Grabbing the remote to turn on the TV, he glanced at what she was writing. It was a letter of some sort but he couldn't make it out with the amount of fidgeting she was doing. "What are you writing?" He asked gently. There were so many other things he wanted to say to her at this moment, but he knew by now that he had to start with small talk when it came to Haley.

"Just writing in my journal…that's all." She said quietly.

He arched an eyebrow "I didn't know you kept a journal."

"Yeah, I have been since I was like seven or something…"

He took a deep breath and began to say what was really on his mind. "Why didn't you tell me that the guy who has been…hurting you was at Caltech?" He tried to keep his tone gentle but it was hard because just the thought made him raging mad.

"I don't know…maybe I'm crazy? Insane? I think what happened today with Amy is enough evidence to prove as much. Maybe I didn't see him at all…"

"You are not insane. I am getting tired of you saying that. What happened to you…the trauma you have suffered it caused you to have a mental break somewhere along the lines."

"I know…Bev said that tons of times to me…said it was the cause of my lapses in time and memory."

"Haley, you know you referred to yourself as another person when you were conversing with Amy…."

"Huh? I don't really remember that…all I remember is the voices in my head and then I was elsewhere…"

"Where do you go?" He was looking at her confused.

"I hide…"

"Did he hurt you or touch you in any way?" Sheldon personally didn't think he would be able to handle the answer, but he needed to know.

Haley closed the journal and placed it down beside her and looked at him. "Would it make you feel better if I told you no?"

"Not if it's a lie, and you know very well I can now tell when you are lying to me…"

The words that escaped from her lips were suddenly angry. "Does being forced to fuck him in a bathroom count as such?"

Sheldon felt like he was just punched in the stomach. "Haley I swear to God if you don't tell me who it is…"

"I can't…" She choked as she tried to stand up to run to her room, but Sheldon was quicker and grabbed her arm pulling her back down on the couch.

"Haley, enough with this nonsense. Tell me who it is. Now."

"You really can't guess who it is? Seriously Sheldon?" She jerked herself out of his grasp and stood up. She grabbed her journal from the couch and turned to a page ripping it out and tossing it at him. "New Years Eve 2009...think about it…"

Before he could stop her she had her skateboard and was running out the door. Everything inside him told him to run after her but at that moment he picked up the paper and looked it at. It was what she was writing just a few minutes earlier. A letter, to him.

_Dear Sheldon,_

_I'm sorry for lying to you for all these years. I just couldn't bear the thought of disappointing, or hurting you. I can't fit into this box of perfection you have for everything. You live in a perfect world, where everything has order and is full of innocence. Something I wish I had, but that was taken away, and it's something I will never get back. I know it doesn't make up for the stupid shit I do and think to make this pain go away…lots of stuff that you don't even know. So I will tell you everything, please don't be mad at me…_

_I don't think I would be able to do this normally. It's like someone else is writing for me... _

_I have tried drugs other than marijuana…the first thing I tried was ecstasy. E was a different story than weed. I tried it a few times. All the hatred seems to disappear and you find yourself floating away to a place where everything is tranquil and you can't help but love everything. I also tried Crank quite a few times. I know your not very knowledgeable on street terms, Crank is Meth…I know why people like that stuff now… It's a rush that's hard to explain. A merry go round you can't get off of until it suddenly stops and you fall to the floor at full force. Two days of no sleep, cant eat, what seems like a never ending party until the 12 hour crash that follows. _

_I have a tattoo I got when I was twelve. One of Lexi's uncles is a tattoo artist and I lied saying it was alright, that you wouldn't care. It's keywork from the Coheed and Cambria: In keeping secrets of silent earth 3 album cover. _

_I hate being smart, because I know that all the things I do aren't right. I purposely make myself act stupid and drug myself up so my brain will shut off. _

_It's Hannah's brother Aaron…there I said it. He's demented…sick. Obsessed with me for reasons I don't know. The first time it happened it was New Years Eve…Remember when I begged you to let me stay at Hannah's? That was the first time…I wasn't even nine yet. Then every Halo night after that it happened till I was ten and a half, and he went off to some college in upstate New York. It was a relief, I thought it was finally over. Yet, obvious I would never heal. I made myself go away when it would happen. I don't know how I managed that, something tells me there's a part of my mind that knows all the details, but I chose not to go looking for it. Then, in December… he came back, and it started all over again. _

_This time though, it was weird. Said he couldn't be away from me, me and that's why he came back. The shit he said just kept getting crazier and creepier…I found it harder to keep things under control. Under wraps. I started to lose my mind. I found myself believing him, and feeling things that I know I shouldn't. _

_I hate the way I look like Meemaw. Maybe if I looked like you, Missy, and George he wouldn't have "fallen in love" with me as he claims. I wouldn't have attracted a creeper ass pedophile. He claims I drove him to it, I was something different. Something special. _

_Sometimes I blame myself for being me, so I disfigure my skin to try to change me…make myself into something he will hate. I think I also do it cause I like that pain. I guess that sounds weird…but its true. Unfortunately it has yet to work. He makes me keep this secret with threats. How did I end up in this fucked up version of Romeo and Juliet? Of course the love only goes one way...It does…honestly. If he goes down he'll pull me down with him, that much I'm sure of. _

_I'm sorry my mind is jumping from place to place in this letter, it's obviously written by an mentally ill person. There are just too many fleeting thoughts and memories I don't know how to make them go away. _

_I can't slow down, I can't turn around and go back because there's nothing but darkness. I can't speak about it, I'm too scared to. I find myself arguing with myself all the time. I know the only way out is to confront what I'm running from, but I don't think I can…_

_I think about killing myself…all the time. I'm sick of this never ending cycle. I just want it all to end_.

_If anything happens…I just want you to know I love you. More than anything else. You were the best brother I could ever have asked for, well no more like dad. I never knew our father, and it was always you, so you were the best Dad I could ever ask for. I'm sorry I couldn't be strong minded like you are. I gave into my demons and let them consume me. Wherever I end up, I just hope that I will always be your little girl. _

_~ Hal_

Sheldon found himself crying by the time he finished the letter, and carefully folded it up, placing it on the table.' _All these years you continued on in silent pain. Why didn't I see it? I'll never give up on you…I will save you from yourself…from him'_ He thought.

Sheldon remembered Haley spending the night by Hannah's New Years Eve despite him wanting her to stay at home and coming to the costume party with the guys, Penny and himself instead. The morning after stuck out in his memory most of all.

0000

_Sheldon's cell phone started going off at 5 in the morning. He had only just gotten to sleep, so this was for lack of better words a rude awakening. He sat up and grabbed his phone off the bedside table and saw it was Penny calling. "What fresh is this?" He said annoyed and answered "Penny it's five in the morning, you are disturbing my REM sleep…" _

"_Sheldon, I'm on my way to Hannah's house, Haley called me a few minutes ago. She said she's not feeling well, so I was just giving you a heads up." _

_That snapped him out of his mood "Oh, Well that is fine. I will just wait until you bring her back." _

"_Alright, be back in a bit." and with that Penny hung up. Sheldon got up out of bed wondering why Haley had not called him first. He ran a hand through his hair and went into the living room to sit. He decided to turn on one of his Battlestar Galactica DVD's while he waited. _

_Twenty minutes later he heard Penny "Oh Haley hun…it's ok, I'll clean it up. Let's just get you inside." _

_He got to his feet and opened the door to find Penny crouched by Haley at the stairs. She was white as a ghost and doubled over on the steps. _

"_I'm sorry…" She said numbly to her._

"_It's not your fault sweetie. You probably have the flu." Penny looked over at Sheldon who immediately went to his sister. "She got sick and threw up over there…" Penny said pointing towards the spot on the stairs. He nodded not bothering to look at the mess lest he wanted to get sick himself. He bent down and grabbed Haley gently by the arm helping her to her feet. He noticed how warm she felt through her sweater. "It's alright Haley…your home now." He said quietly. When she got to her feet, she turned to him and wrapped her arms tightly around his midsection burying her face into his pajama's. She was shaking furiously and crying. The way she was acting confused him, she seemed frightened, and disoriented. "I'm sorry." She sobbed. _

"_You don't have to apologize…" He hugged her back, and led her into the living room, sitting her down on the couch. Penny followed them inside and shut the door. "Do you need help with anything?" She asked him. _

_Sheldon shook his head "No, but thank you for getting her. I think I can handle it from here." _

"_Alright moonpie if you need anything just holler." and with that she left. _

"_No one calls me Moonpie but Meemaw!" He hollered after her with a pout on his face._

"_Can I take a shower please?" Haley asked once the door and shut. _

"_Of course you can. Are you able to walk without getting dizzy? I can go get Penny and have her assist you…" _

"_I'm fine." She said quickly getting to her feet swaying slightly. _

"_Alright. Do you want me to fetch your pajama's out of your bag?" _

"_NO! I threw them out before I left…" She squeaked. _

_He looked at her with a bewildered expression on his face "Why did you do that?" _

"_I got sick on them…"_

"_Oh, Very well, then I'll get you some new pajama's from your drawer." _

_Haley just nodded weakly and made her way to the bathroom closing the door behind her. _

'_Curious…' He thought but went along to get the things she needed. He knocked three times and opened the door slightly "Here are your pajama's …if you start feeling ill, just yell for me. I have some Tylenol for you to take when you are finished." _

"_Alright." came her reply. _

_Sheldon went back to his spot and continued watching Battlestar Galactica, while he waited once again. He glanced at the clock, it was nearly six in the morning. _

_He sighed _' and they say the infant and toddler stages of a child's life are the hardest - lies'

_Haley emerged from the bathroom in the fuzzy long sleeved pajama's Sheldon had picked out for her. He looked over at Haley and noticed she didn't look any better. 'Why is she walking so oddly?' He thought to himself _'The sickness might be causing her vertigo perhaps?'

_Sheldon shut the TV off and got up walking over to the kitchen where he had a cup of liquid Tylenol waiting for her. "Here take this, it will help with your fever." She took it from him and swallowed it down, not even making the disgusted face she normally did when she had to take medicine, and handed the cup back to him. He tossed it into the sink "Well I think it is time to head to bed. It's already 6:13am." _

_Haley nodded slowly. "Sheldon?" _

"_Yes?" He turned to look at her. _

"_can I sleep with you tonight…I don't want to be in my room alone…" She was looking down at her feet. _

"_That will be fine I suppose. I'm used to it, just don't drag too many of your dolls along with you. It's hard enough sleeping with you kicking and squirming around as it is. Waking up with a cabbage patch doll under your back isn't a pleasant feeling, those heads are like wood blocks." _

"_Ok." She then went off down the hall while Sheldon finished turning off everything in the apartment, and locking the door. Leonard was with Priya at this point and he assumed the two had taken over poor Raj's bedroom for the night. _

_By the time he got to his room Haley was already under the covers with her eyes closed, clutching her rather large Simba stuffed animal. He slid into the bed and covered himself up, noticing that she was still shaking. He turned to look at her "Are you frightened by something?" _

_Haley's eyes flew open and she shook her head "No." She lied "Just cold…" _

"_Oh, well chills are normal with the flu." He reached down and grabbed the spare blanket he kept at the bottom of the bed and unfolded it, covering her up. "That should help." _

_Haley pulled the cover over her head and muttered "Thanks." _

_He then laid down and closed his eyes, hoping she would be alright. Ever since the first scare he had with her when she was five he was always overcautious. It also occurred to him that this wasn't her normal behavior when she was sick. He put the thought out of his head and fell asleep. Not once thinking that what his sister was afflicted with had nothing to do with a bug she caught, but rather the after effects of an atrocious act committed. _

_0000_

"_Aaron…"_He said to himself. "_Today was the last time you touch my sister…" _Before he could allow himself to get into a rage there was a knock at the door. He walked to the door and opened it. It was Beverly

"Hello Sheldon. I came as soon as I could. Where is she?"

"She ran off again, but before she did she threw this at me." He picked the letter up off the table and handed it to Beverly, who quickly read it over. "She told you who it was…"

He nodded "Her friends brother…it was him all along. He was at Caltech today…"

"What was he doing there?" She said wide eyed.

"That I do not know as of yet. Something strange also occurred today."

"Yes?"

"She was talking to Amy about what was happening, but it was like she was another person. She even claimed to be as so. She referred to herself as "we" and "us". She referred to herself as a third person, and when Amy pointed out to her that she was in fact Haley. She said her name was Cassie. I do not understand, this is something I have heard her slip and say things like that before, but I never paid much thought to it. Did you notice any signs of a second personality, as by seeing it for my own eyes, that's what I observed it as."

"She would get into episodes where she would suddenly change, but she never referred to herself as being a separate person if that's what you mean." She paused "It's very possible though, repeated sexual trauma for a child while the brain is still developing can cause such, especially since Haley pointed out that she often would dissociate. It could have conditioned her brain to function state dependently thus creating an identity while in that state."

Sheldon ran a hand through his hair as he tried to refrain from crying again. "I need to find her…"

Beverly nodded "I have my car downstairs."

**(I'm not sure if many of you know what the keywork is, unless your a die hard Coheed fan. Basically the keywork is a galactic force holding together 78 planetary systems. For some reason, part of the Keywork comes loose, threatening a cataclysmic disaster for the universe. Coheed and Cambria are "Guardians of the Keywork" My icon is actually a picture of this keywork.) **


	18. Kristy are you doing Okay?

**(I'm making this chapter ALOT longer, and I am changing the name of it. There will be two flashbacks. The first will be what happened the night Haley ran out to Hannah's out, before going to the beach - the event she hates herself for. The next flashback is the night before Haley starts school… )**

Chapter eighteen: Kristy, are you doing okay?

_'Cause your eyes told the tale_

_Of an act of betrayal_  
><em>I knew that somebody did<em>

_Oh, waves of time_

_Seem to wash away_  
><em>The scenes of our crimes<em>  
><em>For you this never ends<em>

_Can you stay strong?_

_Can you go on?_  
><em>Kristy, are you doing okay?<em>  
><em>A rose that won't bloom<em>  
><em>Winter's kept you<em>  
><em>Don't waste your whole life trying<em>  
><em>To get back what was taken away<em>

_Though the marks on your dress_

_Had been neatly repressed_  
><em>I knew that something was wrong<em>  
><em>And I should have spoke out<em>  
><em>And I'm so sorry now<em>  
><em>I didn't know<em>  
><em>'Cause we were so young<em>

_Oh, clouds of time_

_Seem to rain on_  
><em>Innocence left behind<em>  
><em>And it never goes away…<em>

~ The Offspring

_A few days ago_

_Haley had rode her skateboard till she was physically exhausted. She couldn't believe she let those words slip from her mouth. In anger towards Amy, of all people. She knew that Amy was like Sheldon, and often said things without realizing that they were being offensive. Then again, everyone knew Haley had a short temper. _

_Walking up the stairs of Hannah's house, she glanced in the driveway and saw Aaron car was parked - obvious sign he was home. Todd's car was right in back of Aaron's, and Hannah was sitting on the hood. She saw Haley and smiled "Damn! You got here quick…" _

_Haley tossed her skateboard aside "I told you, I had to run…" _

_Todd was sitting in his car, fiddling with the radio. He looked at Haley and shook his head laughing "You look like shit…" _

"_Thanks douche…" Haley rolled her eyes, feeling a sense of relief come over her, as she sat down on the hood next to Hannah. _

"_You're mom and dad gone again?" She asked. _

_Hannah nodded, as she reached into her pocket, taking a small plastic baggy out. "Aren't they always?" _

_Haley just shrugged, and glanced at what she was holding. She couldn't help but lick her lips in anticipation. It was the perfect solution to get rid of all the unwanted feelings inside of head. Hannah handed it to her, along with a small straw "I figured you could use a little something to make you fly high…" She let out a laugh. Haley could already tell that Hannah herself was flying, just by the involuntary movements of her appendages, as well as that glassy look Haley knew all too well. _

_The voice that normally would tell her this was wrong, remained silent. Without a thought of guilt, Haley grabbed the straw and proceeded to snort away her problems…._

_0000_

_Like the drop on a roller coaster ride, it was an instant rush of euphoria that Haley always anticipated. The best way she could describe it was winning some big away, or the lottery. A happiness and contentment that everything was amazing. She forgot about the reason she had ran to Hannah's in the first place. Her cell phone kept going off, but each message she simply deleted, and every call she let go to voicemail. _

_Haley glanced around to see that she was the only one sitting on the hood of Todd's car. She had the strangest feeling in the pit of her stomach she couldn't explain. Looking up at the house, she saw Aaron staring at her through his bedroom window. Haley quickly looked away, fiddling with the strings of her hoodie. What she wasn't able to hide though, was the smirk that played across her face. _

" _God, he's so pathetic. It is kinda funny how obsessed he is with me." Things she normally would not think started to fill her brain which gave rise to a curiosity she could not curb. Haley slid off the hood and headed into the house. She knew Hannah wouldn't mind; she was too busy making out with her boyfriend in his car to pay attention. _

_As soon as she got in the house, she headed straight for the kitchen to get a soda. There was a bounce in her step as she opened the fridge and grabbed a Mountain Dew. She was in the pink as some people would say, as she uncorked her soda and sat down in one of the barstool chairs. Drumming her fingers on the table, she felt like if she sat still any longer she would implode. There was also another feeling, an effect of the drug that clouded her normal judgment. She grabbed her soda and headed upstairs. Jumping two steps at a time, in order to let the person she was headed to see know she was coming. _

_Not even bothering to knock, Haley let herself into Aaron's bedroom to find him sitting at his computer. He spun his chair around just as she shut the door quietly behind her. _

"_This is a first…" He said finally, looking her over with a critical eye "You're fucked up aren't you?" _

_Haley narrowed her eyes at him "Like you give a shit. We both know I'm just a quick fuck for you…whether I want to participate or not…" _

_He got up from his computer chair. A second later he had her pinned up against the door. _

_Running a hand through her tresses of hair he sighed "I don't think you'll ever get how much I need you, want you….love you. You've always been special…something different…" _

_Normally Haley would have shrank back further against the door and cry silently. Then again, in any other case, Haley would never seek out Aaron like she did this particular night. So it surprised him when she shoved him off of her, slapping him hard across the cheek. "Don't give me that fucking bullshit story." Haley fumed. "I'm something different and special huh? Is that what you say to all the girls you fuck?" _

_Aaron looked at her with a mixture of anger and astonishment. "What are you talking about?" _

"_Don't play stupid with me. Hannah told me all about your little sex-capades at college." _

_She didn't even realize that tears were starting to run down her cheeks. These were feelings she kept bottled inside. Things she didn't even write in her journal, because she hated herself for feeling them, even considering them. Meth was the monster that bounced around her mind and into her mouth, spewing truths she knew she'd never be able to take back, or lie about. _

"_If I wasn't mistaken…I'd say you were jealous…" He crossed his arms over his chest and tried to keep a straight face. He had succeed in making her have feelings for him. This was confirmed to Aaron when she didn't deny his accusations. _

_He liked the control, the power he had over her. For the longest time he thought it was purely physical, until now. Having control over her mind and possibly soul was the ultimate victory in his book. He had her, and he never planned to let her go. _

_Haley rested her back against the wall and lowered her head, letting her hair cover her tear filled eyes. To show emotions like this was a sign of weakness, vulnerability. Her heart was racing, and she felt like she was burning up. Was this another effect of the drugs? Or was she experiencing something else all together. _

"I don't have feelings for him. I hate him. It was just the Crank talking…I'm not jealous…" _Haley kept repeating to herself over and over again that whole time. _

"Why don't you test it then?" _The unknown voice suddenly appeared. _

"He's already took my virginity…did…a lot of shit to me I don't even want to speak about…isn't that enough of a test?" _She argued silently with the voice in her head._

"What is the one thing that he has never done? Something some people consider more intimate and personal than sex…" _The voice questioned her. _

"_Come here Haley…" Aaron ordered suddenly. _

_Haley suddenly snapped back to reality when she heard her name. Looking up at him, she knew already what he wanted. That menacing look that came across his face told her all she needed to know. He would take what he wanted regardless of what she did or said. She always resisted him, never willing. This time would be different. She needed to know the answer. Were the voices in her head playing tricks and telling lies, or did she truly have feelings for this monster? _

_Haley did what she was told, standing there nervously in front of him. This seemed way too familiar. Before he had a chance to do anything, she slowly wrapped her arms around his neck, earning an honest look of confusion from him. Standing up on her tip toes, she closed her eyes, pressing her lips against his in a chaste kiss. Aaron stood there frozen, his hands dropped to his sides. This was not part of his plan, not what he expected. One of the things he never did was kiss her. For him it was too intimate, and he had to be honest most of the time all he wanted was to get off. That and its was hard to kiss someone who was trying to push you off of them, or laying there like a corpse. _

_After a few seconds Haley broke the kiss, and opened her eyes. There was a fluttering in the pit of her stomach that was never there before. It wasn't enough though, one kiss. _

_Aaron looked down at her with different eyes "You…kissed me…" _

_Haley couldn't even think of reason at that moment, because there was only one need she had to cure. "I just wanted to see what it felt like…" she shrugged her shoulders slightly._

"_You want it too, don't you?" He breathed into her ear. _

_Haley turned her head away from him. Part of her brain was ashamed, the other part though pressed herself closer to him. _

_Aaron grabbed her by the chin and crushed his lips against hers in an open mouthed kiss. Haley let out a gasp when he grabbed her by her waist and fell back onto the bed, pulling her on top of him…_

_Haley would never admit that she was the one who started to take his clothes off him. Nor would she admit that it was beyond anything she had ever experienced before. She might have been tweaking on Meth at that point (a drug that stimulated arousal in those who were users), but she initiated it all. _

_0000_

"_HALEY!" She heard Hannah screaming her name from downstairs. Haley slipped out from under the covers and quickly got her clothes on. She had to sit down in order to put her converse on, trying to hurry so Hannah didn't catch her with Aaron. _

"_HALEY! WAKE THE FUCK UP! LEXI"S HERE, WE"RE GOING TO THE BEACH!" _

"_I'M COMING!" Haley yelled back. When she went to stand up, Aaron grabbed her by the arm and pulled her down onto him. "Going so soon?" _

_Haley shifted herself trying to get to her feet, but he planted his hands firmly on her waist. She had to get out of there at that point. Not out of fear this time, but shame, disgust and guilt. Shame because she wanted to do it just as much as he did. Disgust at actually liking it. That he now had control over the one place she tried her damnedest to protect - her mind and spirit. Lastly Guilt, because she knew that Sheldon was out there, worried sick looking for her while she got high and screwed the boy who damaged her in the first place. _

"_I…I have to go. My brother's going to check here…I can't let him find me." She stuttered. _

_Aaron grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her down to meet his lips. Haley kissed him back shyly, feeling herself getting sick to her stomach. When he released her, she jumped up and made a dash for the door. _

"_Haley…" _

_Her hand was on the doorknob when she stopped and looked at him. _

"_I always knew my feelings weren't one sided…" His eyes bore into her. It was those words that made her flee that room like a bat out of hell. _

_On the way down the stairs she bumped into Hannah and Lexi. "Woah, Haley where's the fire?" Hannah joked with wink of the eye. Haley felt her mouth go dry _'Oh God….she knows…" _Haley's mind screamed. _

"_I feel asleep. Sorry…" Haley lied. "Why are we going to the beach?" _

"_Because I totally just got a text message from Leonard saying that he and Amy are coming HERE to look for you."_

"_Fuck. What did you tell them?" Haley looked at her wide eyed._

"_Don't worry. I told them I didn't know where you were. When they said they were going to check Hannah's I had Tyson drive us here to collect your ass before you got caught.." Lexi took a puff of the cigarette in her hand._

_Haley leaped forward and hugged Lexi "Thanks so much.." _

"_No problem…but we gotta go now!" _

_Haley and Hannah jumped into the backseat of Tyson's Camero. Just as Lexi got in and shut the door she squinted down the road and cursed "Fuck! That's them! Go NOW!" _

_The car let out a loud squeal as it fishtailed out of the driveway and speed off. Sitting next to Hannah in silence, Haley made a vow to herself that she erase what happened that night from her memory forever. She was able to wipe out the years of abuse she suffered at his hand, so this should be easy. She didn't know how wrong she was. _

0000

Haley didn't know why she found herself walking the steps to the Wolowitz residence, but she needed to go someplace that her brother wouldn't freak out about. She placed her skateboard up against the porch and rang the doorbell.

"HOWARD! ANSWER THE DOOR!" She heard his mother bellow.

"WHY YOUR DOWNSTAIRS!"

"BECAUSE I'm SOAKING MY FEET SO I CAN GET MY SHOES BACK ON!"

"MAYBE IF YOU BOUGHT SHOES THAT ACTUALLY FIT YOUR ELEPHANT SIZED…"He opened the door to see Haley standing there with a disturbed expression.

"Hey Haley…"

"WHO IS IT?" Mrs. Wolowitz yelled.

"ITS HALEY!"

"OHHH HALEY! I MADE YOU SOME CHOCOLATE PIE!"

"THANKS G-MA!" Haley yelled back. Mrs. Wolowitz always insisted that she call her Grandma for as long as she could remember. Howard hung his head and sighed. "It never ends."

"Mind if I lay low here for a while?" She was running her hands down her tripp shorts.

"Did you run out again?" He gave her a look.

"Yeah. You probably heard about everything didn't you?"

"Amy told Bernadette and Bernadette told me…he was really there?"

"Yup, and I just gave my brother a letter telling him…a lot of shit, and before he could go all weird and emotional on me I had to bail."

'_but you lied about one important detail…' _

'_it was necessary…' _Haley told the other voice.

Howard moved aside "Come on in. I'm just glad you came here instead of going AWOL."

"Figured you would appreciate that." She walked in to see Howard's mom sitting on the couch with her feet in a tub of hot water. She saw Haley and a big smile appeared on her face. "Come over here and give me a hug!" Haley sighed and walked over to the large woman who nearly crushed her lungs with the hug she gave her. "Your so gosh darn tiny! Doesn't look like you'll be as tall as your brother, but your just as cute as a button though! What is with that ungodly blue in your hair! Is that some new style the kids are wearing?" Mrs. Wolowitz went on and on, but Haley wasn't annoyed. She answered her politely "I just like it."

The older woman nodded. "What's this I hear about you running away? If you need to run somewhere you run here, kapish?"

"Yes G-ma" She said with a smile.

Meanwhile Howard stood there sending Sheldon a text message. "_Haley is here, mom is stuffing her with pie." _

_0000_

Sheldon felt his phone vibrate and he reached in his pocket and flipped it open seeing the text from Howard. A wave of relief hit him. "She's at Howard's house, Thank the Lord...as my mother would have said…" Catching himself.

Beverly nodded "Would you like me to take you to his house?"

"Yes please." He put the phone back into his pocket.

"I feel it appropriate that you are present during Haley's session tomorrow. With everything out in the open, I feel it will be best and beneficial to her. Eventually we will try to have everyone present, that means Leonard, Amy, Penny, Raj, Bernadette, Howard, and yourself."

"That sounds acceptable."

0000

Howard answered the door on the second knock "Hey buddy. She's upstairs on my laptop. I didn't really mention that I told you she was here."

"That's fine. She may have ran if you would have." He tried to smile, but he just couldn't. Howard led him upstairs to his bedroom. Howard opened the door and Haley was sitting on his bed Indian style with her back facing them with headphones one singing

"_Welcome to the world you see. An AK with a couple magazines. Whose blood is this? don't matter to me. Scatter the ashes over the seven seas._

_That sickness, that feeling inside you. That's weakness, don't let it divide you. Keep this, that feeling of pride too. Digging up bones which you buried the truth"_

"I'll let you two talk." Howard gave him a pat on the back and went back down the stairs. Sheldon closed the door loudly behind him in order to get her attention. Haley pulled the headphones off her ears and turned around. Her eyes got as wide as saucers. "Sheldon?"

"Howard told me you were here…"

"Figures…" She said quietly.

"I read your letter…" He walked over to the bed and sat down beside her, taking the laptop out of her lap and closing it shut, setting it down in back of him. "I know I lack many social skills, and the aspect of emotions for the most part eluded me till recently, but please listen to what I have to say. Yes, I used to like perfection and order in my life, but then mom and Meemaw died and I brought you here. All of a sudden my world got flipped upside down. It was a state of chaos and unorganization that I thought I would never be able to handle. I thought that having you around would interfere with my research and work and it would be a distraction." He saw the hurt expression on his sister's face "I'm not finished." He looked down at his hands. "I was wrong. I always liked to think I was in fact a Homo Novus, void of emotions. That I had the ability to control such urges, but I found myself realizing that you mean more to me than anything else in this universe." A few tears fell onto his lap. "The first time I saw those cuts on your arms…the expression 'it tore me up inside.' would fit the description perfectly.

And when I read that you often think about ending your life…" He had to stop as he was getting choked up and was unable to stop himself from crying. Haley never saw her brother cry, and to see him sitting there trying his best to tell her his feelings, she knew that he was broken. To his friends it was obvious that he already was, but for Haley, he tried so hard to remain strong and calm. Seeing him fall apart right before her eyes, she pulled her hood up over her head to hide her own tears that began to fall. "I'm really sorry…" She said in a small voice. He turned to look at her and sighed slightly, as he pulled her hood down, gathering her up in his arms in an embrace. "Haley…when I read the last part of that letter. I didn't know what to think…I thought I was going to receive a call saying that they found you dead. I love you so much…I don't know how I could live with myself if something ever happened to you... Please stop running…"

Haley buried her face against him "I don't know what to do anymore…" She couldn't stop the tears from flowing. It was a relief that everything was now out in the open, but look at what it had done? Everything she had feared was becoming a reality.

"I promise you, Aaron will never hurt you again…" The way he said this made Haley break the hug and look at him. She took a deep breath, feeling it was necessary to tell him the rest of what was weighing on her mind. "You want to know why I didn't tell anyone? Especially when it started to happen again? "

He looked at her and nodded silently.

"Evidence…there is none. Like anyone would believe me…I mean come on. He's a fucking A plus engineering student with preacher parents. My words amount to shit…he'd have to fuck himself over and slip in order to get caught."

"Engineering student?" His eyes widened as the realization hit him. "You mean he was the person who was shadowing the engineering department today?"

"Yup. He saw me…and I tried to resist him, but I learned my lesson…he doesn't like that."

"What I don't understand is why you failed to tell me, any of this. I could have stopped it…prevented it…"

Haley sighed "Sheldon, you can't watch me twenty four hours a day…I go to school with his sister, its obvious now that he will be at Caltech…"

"Not if I have anything to say about it." He said angrily. "When I get a hold of him…" Haley stopped him mid-sentence. "Sheldon don't. That will just get you in trouble and won't solve anything."

He sighed bitterly "Well then I am going to call the authorities…he needs to pay for what he has done to you Haley."

She felt the panic rise up inside of her. "I can't go to school if you call the police and they drag him in and question him. Everyone will know…and it will only piss him off and…" She stopped and put her head in her hands, she couldn't even think about the threat he had made to her. Sure, her brother and his friends wouldn't believe it, but to everyone else? It seemed logical. In her mind she thought he would be able to get away with what he said he would do. What else could she think? She was scared shitless of the guy, and time and time again he had proven to her that he meant what he said. The other thing that would worry her was what he could tell them. She was starting to feel the itch to bury the feelings, this was an overload she couldn't handle and she needed to do something about it.

"Can we just go home? Please?" She begged, her body was twitching and she had an over anxious look on her face.

Sheldon wondered what she was refraining to say, but he didn't want to push. He came to the conclusion that she had said more than enough for today, and he was proud of her, for her courage to finally speak. "That's fine. Let me just text Penny. I'm sure she is off work and will be able to pick us up."

0000

_Seven years ago_

_Sheldon couldn't sleep that particular night in August. Haley's first day of school was that morning, which might explain his lack of REM rest. Though money lay on the music coming from the living room. _

"What fresh hell is this?" _He thought as he slipped out of bed, putting his robe and slippers on. When Sheldon got into the front room, he thought he was going to have to give Leonard his second strike. Who he actually found was Haley, sitting on the couch with the remote in her hand. Haley was bobbing her head to the sound of the music, singing along "_That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa. That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa. I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating, and that's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa."

"_Haley Marie, it's 2:30 in the morning….you have to get up in exactly four hours to get ready for your first day of school…" Sheldon scolded, making her jump in surprise. _

_She dropped the remote on the floor and looked up at him "I don't want to go…" _

"_I'll admit it is a tedious bore… for myself anyways. Then again I was far too advanced for even the teacher…Thank God I went off to college to start my bachelors after fifth grade…" He shrugged. "Perhaps that's the reason you do not wish to go?"_

_Haley shook her head "No…why can't I go to work with you?" _

_Sheldon sat down in his spot and reached over, pulling her into his lap. "You can't go with me because it's mandatory for you to be in school." _

_Haley wrapped her arms around his neck tightly "Please don't make me go…" She sniffled. _

_Sheldon patted her on the back a few times "There there. It's no reason to get upset…it's only eight hours a day…" He wasn't entirely sure, but he suspected that Haley didn't want to by away from him. _

"_I bet Momma and Daddy didn't make you go…." She crossed her arms over her chest, pouting. _

"_Yes in fact they did. Our father would…" He trailed off for a moment catching himself from saying something he didn't wish to get into detail with. "He would get very upset…if we didn't listen…" He tried not to remember the words his father would often spew at him _

_0000_

"You're going boy, or else!" _George Sr. would threatened, belt in his hand. _"I've just about had it with you prancing around this house like your better than us."

"Please George, leave him alone…" _Mary tried to intervene to no avail. _

"Stay outta this Mary. You baby him too much. Boy can't even catch a ball. You're just going to make him into a faggot…and I'll be damned if I have a son like that…"

_0000_

_Haley looked at Sheldon with a tilt of her head. She noticed the twitch of his eye when he spoke of their father. She may have been a small child, but Haley could tell pain when she saw it. Sheldon snapped back to present when he felt a tiny hand on his cheek. _

"_Was he mean to you?" _

"_He always seemed offended by my intelligence, and the fact that I wasn't athletic like George…or even Missy…" He answered with a different tone in his voice. Despite how robotic he may act in front of everyone, he couldn't deny that it hurt how his father treated him. His mother, loved him but she was nervous and a little bit scared at his lack of emotions. The only one who had really showed him true love and affection unconditionally was his Meemaw. She always saw in him what everyone else didn't. He was slowly recovering from the loss of his mother, but what didn't seem to heal was the loss of his grandmother. _

"_Don't worry Shelly…" Haley's voice broke his train of thought. He looked down at her and couldn't help but smile ever so slightly at her. He was still baffled at how much his child sister resembled his beloved Meemaw. "_I _still love you more…and so did Grammy and momma…" Haley paused a second and sighed "I miss Mommy and Grammy…" _

_Sheldon hugged her tighter "I do too…" _

"_Why did Grammy call you 'Moonpie'?" _

_He looked at her wide eyed and red faced "How do you know that?" _

"_She told me…she said she only gave me and you nicknames…she said you were her Moonpie…" _

_Sheldon let out a sigh "She said it was cause I was nummy nummy and she could eat me up…" He gave her a serious look "You are not to EVER repeat that…" _

_Haley let out a laugh and shook her head "I won't…I promise…" _

_Sheldon then stood up with her in his arms "You must try and get back to sleep…" _

"_Ok…" She answered sadly. _

_Relieved that she wasn't going to argue any more with him, he carried her off to her room and laid her down on her bed. Haley crawled under her covers and rested her head on her pillow. "You won't forget to pick me up tomorrow after will you?" _

_Sheldon let out a laugh "Haley, I have an eidetic memory….Of course I won't forget." _

"_I hope not…" She pouted, as she clutched onto her Cabbage Patch Doll. _

_He adjusted her blankets so she was properly covered up, and glanced around her room making sure everything was in place. "What did Meemaw call you?" he asked suddenly. _

_Haley fidgeted slightly, trying to get comfortable in her bed "She called me Sweet Pea…" _

_He leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead and cheek "Goodnight Sweet Pea…" _

_Haley gave him a quick hug in return "Night…Moonpie…" she couldn't stop herself from laughing. _

_Sheldon rolled his eyes and sighed as he trudged back off to his bedroom to get at least a few hours of REM sleep before the morning. _

**(Sorry the re edit of this chapter took so long! But here it is! I hope you guys like it! I wish I could have done a bit better, but for right now, I guess it will do. The rest of the chapter edits will be finished very soon, I promise!) **


	19. Backend Of Forever

**(Updated Version of chapter nineteen. A few minor changes)**

**(Thank you all for the reviews! As I said before I did a lot of research before I decided to write Haley as a multiple personality. Two very great books helped me to see what it is like to be inside the mind of a person with more than one identity. Those books are 'Sybil' and 'When Rabbit Howls' They are real life accounts of two women suffering with the disorder. Both books written by their psychologists.**

**The title of this chapter is part of a three part song by Coheed and Cambria. The lyrics below are pretty much from Aaron's mind.)**

Chapter nineteen: The Camper Velourium II: Backend Of Forever

_write this down in your diary you abuse_

_can we make plans _

_can I just get through to you_

_is this weird...do I scare her?_

_I'll wish on this, I'll wish with this_

_I, I'll wish... that you could share the love you'd shared with others, with me_

~ Coheed and Cambria

Penny, Sheldon and Haley walked into Apartment 4a an hour later to find Leonard sitting there with Amy and Raj. When he saw them Leonard immediately stood up "What the hell happened? I got a call from my mom saying she had to drop you off at Howard's cause Haley ran there."

Amy picked up the letter that was still on the table "And then we found this."

"I went to get some friggin pie, Christ's sakes." Haley said angrily.

"It's Hannah's brother?" Leonard looked at them.

Penny of course was hearing this for the first time as her eyes opened in surprise. "Oh God…" Haley couldn't deal with the group crying jag that was about to follow "I can't do this. I'm going to my room." She moved past Sheldon who remained quiet so far, and slammed her bedroom door behind her.

"I should have said something…I should have guessed it…he was acting too perfect…" It was Raj who spoke as he sat there numb, taking a drink of his beer.

"What are you talking about?" Sheldon looked at him curiously.

"When you sent me to go find Dr. Gablehauser…I ran into Aaron…he knew me…he introduced himself to me and everything like he didn't have a care in the world. Like he had nothing to hide."

"Don't be so hard on yourself Raj, none of us knew…" Leonard walked over to him and patted him on the back.

"There was something off about him though…I just don't see how I didn't pick it up then…"

"Because he's good at what he does…"Came Penny's raging voice from behind Sheldon. "They have to be in order to get away with the heinous acts they commit."

"Who?" Amy asked looking at her confused.

"Pedophiles Amy, cause that's exactly what that son of a bitch is. Of course when they finally get caught its always 'she was asking for it.' "she was coming on to me" "She was only technically a girl, she acted like a woman.'"

Amy winced at her words "It's easy to blame a kid isn't it?"

"You have to call the police Sheldon." Leonard said looking at him.

"Haley pointed out there is no evidence against him. I want to call, but I am at a loss as to what to do." His hands were balled into fists. "It's taking me every ounce of self control that I possess to not go over to that house and take care of the problem myself." he started pacing the room.

"Sheldon calm down…" Leonard began.

"I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!" Sheldon snapped, as he turned to look at him. His eyes wild and full of rage. "That bastard destroyed everything my sister was, I want him to feel the pain that she felt every time he raped her, every time he hurt her…" He became unglued at that point completely as he drew his fist back and punched the wall with everything he had in him, causing his hand to go right through the drywall. The room got very silent as they watched his outburst. It was something Sheldon wouldn't normally have ever done. The others just looked at him with deer in the headlights expressions. Penny though was the only one brave enough to run over to him as he pulled his hand out from the wall and clutched it to his chest in pain. "Are you alright?" She said in a worried voice as she gently took his hand and examined it. "Can you move it?"

He nodded "Yes. It's not broken if that's what you are asking."

The other three in the room exchanged confused looks at one another as they watched Penny run a hand through his hair "We'll get him, don't worry…"

When he leaned down and kissed her passionately on the lips, even Raj dropped his beer. "What the frak?" Leonard was stumped as he looked to Amy and Raj "Did I miss something?"

Amy shrugged her shoulders "It seems that Sheldon and Penny have finally realized they have feelings for one another?"

Leonard looked at her "What do you mean finally?"

"It's always been quite obvious. I figured as much when Sheldon and I were dating, I found myself having feelings for you instead of him, so I terminated the relationship agreement."

"You never said it was because you had a feeling Sheldon liked Penny." Leonard looked at her flabbergasted. "I mean it's great, but wow…Sheldon actually kissing Penny. Never would have thought I'd have seen the day…"

Penny broke their kiss and glared at him "Shut up Leonard." She then turned back to Sheldon and took him by the arm, gently leading him towards the door "We'll be back. Make sure Haley doesn't run off ok?"

"Yes Warden." Raj slurred as he took another drink of beer.

0000

Haley removed her hands from her ears when she heard the door to the hallway shut. She had never in her life heard her brother yell and snap like he just did, and it frightened her. She was worried what he might do if he was given the chance. Haley believed he would kill Aaron if he had the opportunity. She couldn't risk that happening. She couldn't let her brother do something that would probably put him in jail instead of Aaron.

"_If only I could get him caught red handed…he'd be screwed and there would be nothing he could do." _

She had an idea brewing in her head, but it wouldn't be something she'd be able to do alone. She fetched out her phone and texted Lexi

_Haley: _"_Hey, could you come over? I got some shit I need to tell you…and I need your help with something, but we can't tell anyone about it." _

_Lexi: "You know I love evil plots and schemes. I'll be there in an hour. Can I spend the night?" _

_Haley: "Yeah, Sheldon won't mind, I think he and Penny are getting it on." _

_Lexi: "Damn girl, we did good!" _

_Haley: "I know right?" _

_Lexi: "See you in an hour boo!" _

0000

Penny closed the door behind them once they got into her apartment. She made him sit down on her couch and sat down beside him. "Sheldon, you have got to keep your cool."

"I'm finding it difficult doing so."

"How will Haley feel if you end up doing something irrational and landing yourself in prison because you can't keep a level mind?"

He looked at her "I…I hadn't thought about that."

"Well you need to. You can't just kill a person you know, however unfortunate that might be. We need to use our brains to get him, not our fists…you of all people should know this."

"You are correct…" He sighed "I just feel so…helpless in this whole situation…"

"I know… I feel the same way." She said sadly as she rested her head on his shoulder. She smiled slightly when she felt him wrap an arm around her waist, pulling her close. She grabbed the remote and turned on the Syfy channel, hoping Firefly would calm his mind, if only for a while.

0000

Lexi knocked on the door a few times before Leonard answered it. "Oh, Hey Lex, what are you doing here?"

"Spending the night. Haley insisted, where is she?"

Leonard blinked _'does Sheldon know about this?" _"She's in her room. There's a lot going on right now, so if she acts weird, not hold it against her."

Lexi looked at him and laughed "I would never! She's my sister from another mister!"

Leonard couldn't help but chuckle as he moved aside and let her in. She went immediately to Haley's room and walked in, shutting the door behind her.

Sheldon came running into the apartment seconds later "Where is she? Did she run off again?" His face had worry written all over it.

"She's still in her room. Lexi came over, she said she was spending the night." Amy answered him.

"Oh…wait I didn't agree to that." He frowned. Penny came in and touched his arm "She needs a friend right now Sheldon. Don't worry I'll make sure they don't get too out of hand."

"Or spike any of my drinks." He muttered as he went to go sit in his spot. Raj got up from his seat and let Penny take the spot next to Sheldon. "I better get going. I'm actually supposed to be seeing Lexi's mom tonight" He grinned, as he exited.

"Want to order out?" Amy looked at Leonard.

"That sounds good, what do you say Sheldon?" Leonard said looking at him.

"I guess we have to order extra since we have another teenager in the house." He shrugged his shoulders. Leonard looked at him. He wasn't used to a non arguing Sheldon. He couldn't help but feel for everything he is going through. The situation was effecting them all different. Sheldon though; Haley was his baby sister. He knew that it was the hardest on him.

"I'll make the order." Penny said sweetly as she kissed Sheldon on the cheek and got up to get the telephone.

0000

" I have to tell you something and I hope you won't like, freak out or anything." Haley looked at Lexi as they sat there on her bed making bracelets.

"Oh my God! Your Pregnant?"

Haley nearly dropped the beads in her hand as she looked at her wide eyed "What the fuck? Hell no!"

"Thank fucking God!" She breathed a sigh of relief.

"Anyways." Haley rolled her eyes "You know how I have been having to see a shrink?"

"Yeah."

"Well…"She paused trying to get through the words she knew she had to say "The reason I have to see her, is because I was sexually abused for the past four years." _'There…you said it." _She silently praised herself, but feared Lexi's reaction.

It was Lexi's turn to drop the beads "Oh my God…Haley…who?"

"Aaron.."

Lexi's look was that of complete shock. "Aaron…Aaron Meloy as in Hannah's twenty-two year old brother Aaron?"

Haley nodded slowly, trying to focus on stringing her beads together. She was nervous, not to mention scared shitless of rejection at this point.

"I always knew that fucker was off. Not to mention he would always stare at you weird…does your brother and his friends know? I mean I heard he's going to be working alongside Howard come this summer."

"They know. Sheldon wants to kill him…" She laughed at the irony of it all. "He fucking snapped."

"Dude did he punch that hole in the wall?"

Haley looked at her "If that was the noise I heard earlier, then probably…"

"How far did make you go with him?"

"Well I'm not proud to say I haven't been a virgin since I was eight…so I'm sure you can guess how far he made me go."

"You gotta call the cops. Seriously Hal"

"My brother wants to but like I told him. I have no evidence what so ever against him. God, and can you imagine what would happen once everyone at school found out? Once Hannah found out? She'd hate me."

"That's not your fault that Hannah's brother is a fucking pervert. If she acts like a bitch about it, then fuck her. We don't need her." She moved forward and hugged Haley tightly. "Don't worry I got your back."

"Thanks Lex…it means a lot." She hugged her back. When they broke Lexi sat there with a look on her face that Haley couldn't describe. It was a few minutes before Lexi finally spoke. "So you need evidence…tell me Haley, how far are you willing to get it?"

"I'd put my own life on the line in order to get it, if that's what you mean…"

"I don't follow…fill me in here."

"He said if I ever told that he would kill me….then kill himself to make it look like some kind of fucked up suicide pact."

Lexi breathed heavily "Fuck…shit just got really real in the last five minutes…"

"Welcome to my nightmare."

"Have you told anyone about that?"

"No…that's the only thing I left out…I really don't want Sheldon to go over to Hannah's house and kill him. I know my brother is a genius and should be smarter than that, but like I said, he fucking lost it after I told him." She paused "I think I have an idea on how to get the evidence I need to go to the police with…"

Lexi looked at her "Go on."

"Well…we'd need to set up camera's in Hannah's room without her knowing it, and microphones. If I could get it on tape…I got the fucker. Of course he would have to be completely clueless, he can't know that anyone knows that I told. Sheldon can't know either, he would flip out if he knew I'd be doing this…"

"Well yeah Haley, you're baiting yourself in order to get him caught. What if he finds the damn camera's during or something? He's obviously fucking insane, he could snap and kill you."

"I know my risks…I have weighed the pros and cons in my head, and I came to the conclusion that I'm the only one who can make this stop."

"Usually I'm down for anything, but Haley…this sounds crazy…"

"If I don't and I just let Sheldon call the cops, all they will do is drag him in and question him. No evidence, he will walk and just come back pissed and set on revenge. I have to get him before he gets me." She said with finality to her decision.

"I can't believe I'm going to say this, but alright. I'm in. Where are we going to get the equipment?"

"Howard has a lot of camera's and microphones from his days of being a creepy voyeur."

"Alright, get the shit and we'll make this happen."

Haley looked at her and smiled, inside she was terrified. She knew what she was risking, but this had to stop, before it destroyed herself and everyone around her.

0000

The next afternoon was Thursday. Beverly adjusted her glasses as she looked at Haley, who couldn't stop fidgeting her seat. "Haley, you don't have to be afraid to go into details. Neither Sheldon nor I will judge what you have to say."

Sheldon sat in his spot next to her quietly, as he had been so far throughout the session. He felt like his presence in the room caused Haley to withdraw into herself as Beverly tried searching for answers.

"What I am trying to ask Haley, is how far did the abuse go?"

"Far…" She said numbly.

Beverly sighed "Haley. I know this is hard for you, but you will have to say every single detail of what happened in front of a judge and jury. I am just trying to help you to be able to vocalize it when the time comes." That and Beverly was trying to coax Cassie into appearing. This she did not tell them though. She believed in order to truly help Haley, she needed to speak with her other personality and eventually merge the two separate identities as one. This would not be possible until both knew about one another. From what she said told, Cassie knew she was part of Haley. It was Haley who refused to accept that Cassie was there when she wasn't able to handle trauma.

"I know…" Haley said with a sigh.

"How old were you when Aaron first started touching you." Beverly deliberately used Aaron's name to invoke a reaction. She immediately noticed Haley's eye twitch when she said his name.

"It was a few months before my ninth birthday…New Years Eve of 2009. I mean, that was when he actually started…well you know" She answered awkwardly. "Before that he would talk to me when I couldn't sleep …I wasn't afraid of him then…"

"What happened Haley?"

Sheldon turned slightly in order to look at her. She was terrified, that much he could tell. All he wanted to do was gather her up in his arms, sing soft kitty to her, but Beverly had told him it might make things more difficult for her if he tried to comfort her. So he sat there and watched.

"I fell asleep on the couch…I wanted to stay up and watch the ball drop but Hannah was tired so she went upstairs to her bedroom." She looked down at her arms. For the first time in forever it seemed, she decided against wearing a hoodie or long sleeved shirt. Bandages and Band-aids covered up the cuts she once again inflicted upon herself.

"He came in drunk…and woke me up. Kept saying how pretty I was…and that when I got older boys would just hurt me…" She started to pull at one of the band-aids. "He kept saying I needed to be prepared…that someone should show me…Then he asked if I wanted to play a game, but it was a secret game that I couldn't tell anyone about."

Sheldon felt himself getting sick to his stomach as she began to word the first night it happened. _"If only I told her she couldn't spend the night over there. Would it have changed the course of history? Would we be sitting here having this session right now?' _

"He then…got on top of me…and covered my mouth with his hand, saying that he was helping me…that it was better I learn from someone who cares about me" She was feeling light headed as her breathing began to increase. Haley felt herself beginning to slip away, but she continued a bit more "He ripped off my pajama pants, and my…and then he…" She paused "I just remember when I woke up he was gone, and my pajama's were back on, but there was blood on my pants and my underwear, and a lot of pain…I felt sick so I called Penny. I got my clothes on and threw out my pajama's and underwear…then Penny came and I went home…"

"What did he do Haley?" Beverly asked gently." During, you say you don't remember, but something tells me that a part of you does." She saw the change that was occurring, she had triggered the other identity, just as she thought she would.

"I..I don't know.." She started to stutter as the room started to get hazy.

"I think you do." Beverly said softly, and then she saw it. Haley's head snapped up and she looked at her with different eyes.

"She said she doesn't know, stop grilling her already." She said angrily.

"Hello Cassie." Beverly said with a small smile.


	20. Welcome home

**(Updated Version of chapter twenty) **

**"What few multiples there were, in general, operated in a world wherein emotions were 'buffered' for them by their other selves. The selves, depending on how many there were and how damaging the cause of multiplicity, handled what the first born child could not. So that the degree of life which the first born child might enjoy could range from a lot to a little."**

**~When Rabbit Howls**

Chapter Twenty: Welcome Home

_You stormed off to scar the armada_

_Like Jesus played martyr,_

_I'll drill through your hands_

_The stone for the curse you have blamed me_

_With love and devotion, _

_I'll die as you sleep_

_But if you could just write me out_

_To neverless wonder... happy will I become_

_Be true that this is no option,_

_So with sin I condemn you_

_Demon play, demon out!_

~Coheed and Cambria

Beverly motioned to Sheldon to turn on the video camera that she had set up previous to the session. He slowly got up from his seat and pressed play, then went to sit back down.

"Hi" She said with a snarky tone. Sheldon looked at Haley with a horrified expression on his face that he couldn't conceal. There was this mysterious person he had only encountered briefly while he observed Haley and Amy talk in his office just yesterday.

"If Haley doesn't know, then I assume that you do…" Beverly looked up from her notepad. This was something she had only researched about before. Never in all her years of study did she ever work with a multiple.

She flipped her hair with a hand "You mean how he likes to tear off our clothes off and shove his…" Beverly held up a hand which silenced her. She would have let her continue but the stricken look on Sheldon's face. She knew this was something he mentally would not be able to handle.

"You wanted the details, so I was going to give them to you." She pulled a pack of cigarettes from her pocket and proceeded to light one. After a puff she made a disgusted face "I hate Marlboro's….Newport's…now those are amazing."

Beverly noted how older and more mature this personality acted, the way she held herself was that of someone older than Haley's thirteen year old self, so she proceeded to question Cassie. "How old are you?"

"twenty."

'_Interesting…could an older personality have been created so that Haley would be able to emotionally and mentally cope with the repeated abuse on her being?" _Beverly thought as she wrote a few notes down.

"So it is you who is present when Aaron is forcing his self upon Haley."

She hissed at the name. "Haley was a little girl. She couldn't handle it, so I took over for her. I had to protect her and Tink. I never went away I just observed. Then he came back, and Haley started to break…so I had to fill in for her again."She paused for a moment and then slumped down into the couch.

"How do you feel about what he does to you?" '_who is tink? another personality perhaps?' _

"We hate it. For Haley, she's terrified and ashamed…for me I don't care for it, but I can't help it that I found it good. That's the part Haley is ashamed of…Our minds say no, but at the same time…we find ourselves responding to it. We like the pain and the pleasure..." She took another puff of her cigarette. "I consider myself a masochist..."

Sheldon's mouth dropped at her words "Haley Marie…" He said painfully. This was his Haley, but then again, it wasn't. His sister was the vessel for this person unknown to him.

"It is normal for a body to respond to sexual stimulation. It is not your fault, Aaron made sure he trained your body to reciprocate his actions towards you."Beverly paused for a moment _'but to like pain. That isn't normal in the least. A personality that is a masochist...can lead to more serious issues...' _

Cassie looked at Sheldon and saw how upset he looked about the whole conversation thus far. "Haley is afraid that if you knew this, you'd think she was a bad girl…"

He was trying his best to keep his composure, to not break down and cry as Haley's nightmare became his own. Play by play, detail for detail…it shook him to the core to watch his little girl come apart, her mind fragmenting so severely that she became two separate people, at least what he thought at the time was only two. "I wouldn't ever think that. She didn't ask for what happened to her…" He found himself acknowledging Cassie as being a person all herself.

"Aaron put that thought in her head…along with a lot of others…" Cassie said darkly.

Beverly was chewing on her pen as she watched Haley. "How many of you are there?"

"You mean how many of us are in here?"

"In a matter of speaking, yes."

"Three I think... but Tink never speaks...you wouldn't want to hear her...all she does is scream..."

Beverly nodded slowly "How old is Tink, Cassie?"

"She's eight..."

Beverly noticed the change as soon as it came. Haley looked around the room and then back at Beverly. "What happened? Did I space out again?"

Sheldon shook his head "No Haley…you were talking the whole time…" Relief washed over him as she came back to herself.

"I don't remember…" Her breathing was heavy, eyes wide with puzzlement.

Beverly got up and stopped the camera, taking the memory card from it. "Haley…I want to show you something. This is a video we just filmed…"

Haley nodded slowly. She was scared. What was on that tape?

"Sheldon, would you mind fetching your computer and putting this in so we may view it."

He jumped up right away and retrieved his laptop from his computer desk and sat back down in his spot next to Haley. Beverly handed him the memory card and he stuck it in the SD drive.

As the video played Haley sat there in a dither, watching herself speak about things she couldn't remember saying. Memories, she only had flashbacks of that would haunt her dreams. Acting in a way that wasn't herself at all. Referring to herself as someone else all together. _'Oh god…this can't be me…' _She thought to herself as tears welled up in her eyes.

"You do not remember the abuse a lot of the time it happens because she is the one who replaces you at those times."

Haley put her head in her hands and broke down "Oh God…what the fuck is wrong with me?"

Sheldon couldn't bear to see his sister crying. He scooted closer to her and pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her in a protective embrace. "Shh…it's ok." He said in a gentle voice that Haley found soothing. Haley would never openly admit it, but the only times she ever felt truly safe was when she was with her brother. However strange and crazy he may have been to everyone else, he was dad to her. It was really weird to think about,but it was true. He knew every bruise, scrap, scar, broken bone she accumulated over the years. He knew which of her dolls was the one she preferred to sleep with, which she book liked to be read before she went to bed. The one who would sing her to sleep when she was sick. He was the one who always tucked her in at night…

"I think we are finished for today…" Beverly said as she packed up her bag. "I do believe we are making progress. It just takes time. Eventually your three separate personalities will merge into one, we call in integration in the field of psychology."

Sheldon looked over and Beverly and nodded "Thank you Dr. Hofstadter..." The words Haley spoke referring to a third, rang in his ears '_You wouldn't want to hear her, all she does is scream...' _

0000

_eleven and a half years ago_

_Sheldon found himself back in Texas for his father's funeral. George Sr. had suffered a major heart attack while working in the shed, and had died before the ambulance even reached the hospital. Though Sheldon was never particularly close to his father, due to constant taunts and ridicule George Sr. would throw at him because he was gifted and different. He knew it was social protocol to be there for his mother, who was left to raise his one year old sister by herself. This sister whom he hadn't even seen as he had tried to stay as far away from his childhood home as possible. _

_George was the one who picked him up from the airport and drove them to Galveston much to his displeasure. The only things George knew how to talk about was beer and football. _

_Walking into the house Sheldon was welcomed to the sounds of a baby crying. Something he never experienced before being as he and Missy for the longest time were the youngest Cooper children. _

"_Mom she won't stop crying" He heard Missy whine. _

"_She's cutting a few teeth, you know this." Mary said in an stressed voice. Sheldon walked into the kitchen and saw his mother sitting at the table with her head in her hand while Missy was walking back and forth bouncing a blonde haired infant in her arms "Shh Haley, your giving us all a headache…" Missy looked up at him and frowned "It takes the death of our dad for you to even come and visit?" _

_Sheldon let out a sigh "I have a lot of work to do. My work is very important to me, and will be to all of mankind." _

_Missy rolled her eyes "More important than your family I guess…" _

_Mary's head snapped up "Missy, now don't you start on him." she got up from the chair and walked over to Sheldon, grabbing him up in a tight, uncomfortable hug. "I'm glad you came Shelly." _

"_Thanks. Umm there there" He said awkwardly patting her on the back. Mary Cooper quickly wiped a few stray tears from her eyes and stepped away from him. She knew how much her youngest son hated physical contact. "There's someone you haven't met yet." She managed a small smile, as Mary walked to Missy and took the crying infant from her, much to Missy's relief. Mary cooed softly at the baby, and almost like magic she quieted her down. She then walked back over to Sheldon "This is your sister Haley Marie." _

_Sheldon looked at the small child as she squirmed in his mother's arms. 'Mother, I'm not saying this to offend, but did you have an affair with another man? This infant has blonde hair and facial features that none of your other progeny's have."_

_Mary couldn't help but laughing at his words. "No Shelly I did not have an affair with another man, even though your dad and I fought a lot. She gets her hair color and looks from your grandma…" _

"_Fascinating…' He said as he recalled the pictures in a photo album of his meemaw when she was younger. _

"_Would you like to hold her?" _

"_Oh, I don't think that would be appropriate…" He took a step back. "She seems to be drooling at an alarming rate…" _

"_Babies drool when they are cutting teeth, Shelly. She's no where as bad as you were when you were a baby. You were damn near intolerable." _

"_Like he is now…" Missy chimed. _

"_Missy" Mary warned. _

"_Sorry…" She muttered._

_0000_

"_I don't know mamma, George's death has got me thinking about a lot of things…"Mary confided in her mother later that night, as they sat in the living room while everyone slept. _

"_What about?" The old lady asked softly._

"_I'm going to be making out a will…It happened so fast…it just got me thinking. What if something happens to me? What will happen to Haley? Can I really trust that Missy or George will take care of her? Missy isn't the mothering type…and George, I'm afraid he's turned to drinking just like his father. " _

"_There's always Sheldon, Mary…" _

_Mary let out a laugh "Lord don't get me started on that. The boy doesn't like changes to his routine, you and I both know that." she paused "I am concerned about him though…if something were to happen to me, he'd have no one. Missy and George only tolerate him because he's their brother. He can't help Jesus blessed him with all those smarts." _

"_Shelly may be different, but I think he would be the best choice. That boy has a big heart no matter how hard he tries to cover it up." _

"_He's also arrogant and hates social contact of any kind." Mary pointed out. _

"_I may be wrong, but I highly doubt I am. He is the best choice Mary. Trust me." _

_Mary thought long and hard for a moment before she nodded "well before I put anything in writing. I think I'm going to have to give him a test to see…" _

"_He'll pass it. I guarantee you that." _

"_We'll see momma." _

_0000_

_The visitation service was long and tedious for Sheldon. The sight of everyone around him crying was enough to make him want to bolt out the door. He knew that given the fact that this was his father who died, that he should be upset or full of grief, but it just didn't come to him. He only had perhaps a handful of good memories of his father, the rest were of his drunken rages, and constant belittling of his mother in front of him. _

_There was an hour to spare before they had to be at the cemetery and Mary was stressed to the max. Missy had to take Meemaw back to her house in order to get her medication that she forgot to take, due to the craziness of the day, and George had clumsily spilled what Mary believed to be beer (though he denied it) on his dress shirt and had to run and get another one on. Mary wanted to stay at the funeral home, in order to say a last, private goodbye to the husband she never got along with, but couldn't help but love. It also gave her the opportunity to put the test she had for Sheldon into play. She knew her son was uncomfortable around all these people, and she figured she'd give him another option. She shifted Haley to her other hip and turned around to see Sheldon sitting there quietly, "Are we ready to go yet?" He inquired. "We have less than an hour to get to the cemetery for the actual burial…" _

_It often pained Mary to see how robotic her youngest son was. She knew it wasn't his fault. Don't get her wrong, she was extremely proud of Sheldon's achievements, but she prayed that he would realize that there was more to life than physics and a life of solitude. "I'm going to stay for a while longer, I want you to take Haley and go back to the house. George will drop you off. She needs to go down for a nap, and I know social gatherings aren't your thing." _

"_I'm not sure that will be wise. Counter proposal. How about the baby accompanies you to the cemetery and George drops me off at the house myself?" _

_Mary groaned "Shelly please. For once can you not argue with me? Haley is in pain as it is from those damn teeth and she's already falling asleep." she paused "I want to say goodbye to your father…alone." _

_Sheldon realized what she had meant when she literally had to spell it out for him, but he understood. He sighed in slight annoyance as he got up and walked over to his mother "Alright. I have no experience with children, but having an IQ of 187, I should be able to figure this out…" He said nervously as Mary handed Haley over to him. He held her at arms length as if she were a nuclear bomb that could go off at any moment. _

"_First of all, you don't hold a baby like that. You're gonna scare her." _

"Oh_, my apologies…" He said quietly as Mary helped him reposition his arms so that he was holding Haley close against him. _

"T_hat's how you hold a baby." _

"_Noted." _

"_All you have to do is make her a bottle and lay her down in her crib, she may cry for a while but she'll fall asleep. Just look in on her every once and a while." _

"_Sounds simple enough." _

0000

'This is anything BUT simple'_ Sheldon thought as he paced back and forth in the nursery. He did everything his mother had told him to do, but here they were almost an hour later and she was STILL screaming. He tried everything he could possibly think of, giving her toys, trying to command her to lay down in a stern voice, even offering a hot beverage to calm her down. Nothing worked._

_ "Please Haley Marie, refrain from crying. I dislike crying and I don't know what you want!" he stood over the crib looking down as she sat there screaming her little lungs out. '_ this is why I'll never procreate._' he thought bitterly as he tried to get a clear train of thought, but her screams made that difficult. _

_It wasn't until she reached her little arms up towards him that the answer seemed to pop into his head. "You wish to be picked up?" _

_The baby gave him this look almost as if saying to him "you think, you idgit?' _

"_Well you don't have to give me a dirty look, I was just asking." He huffed as he reached down and picked her up, holding her close like his mother showed him. She immediately stopped crying. "I guess you wouldn't be opposed to watching Star Trek would you? Not that you would understand it…" _

_He walked downstairs with Haley in tow and sat down in the chair he had claimed as his spot since he was eight years old. Grabbing the remote and turning to the correct channel he sighed in relief as he felt his world going back into semi order. _

_Haley let out a loud laugh as she pointed to a particular character on the screen. Sheldon couldn't help but smile slightly. "That's Mr. Spock, can you say Sp-ock?" _

"_Spock?" The little girl furrowed her tiny eyebrows as she slowly said the word. _

"_Well done. Perhaps there is hope for you, you are my sister after all. Maybe you will be as much of a genius as I am someday." _

_The baby gave him a confused look, glancing from the TV and back to him "You spock?" _

_Sheldon let out a breathy laugh "Oh, I wish. I'm your brother, Shel-don, can you say that?" _

"_Shelly!" Haley shrieked and he frowned slightly_

_"Well it's a start…" _

_0000_

_Mary arrived home at nearly seven o-clock that night accompanied by her mother. Worn out and exhausted. Missy and George had went out for drinks. They claimed they both needed to ease the pain so she didn't scold them. _

_The house was dark with the exception of the blinking light coming from the TV in the living room. Meemaw went along ahead of her, while Mary stopped at the door to remove her shoes. She turned the light on and was worried by the silence. 'This isn't right…"_

_She thought, just as Meemaw emerged from the living room with a smile on her face. "You should never doubt your mother's judgment…"_

"_What are you talking about?" she was confused. _

"_Just take a look in there and tell me that I wasn't right…" The old woman smirked. _

_Mary rolled her eyes as she walked into the living room and nearly fell to the floor at what she saw. Star Trek was playing on the television, while Sheldon lay passed out in the recliner, holding Haley who was also fast asleep, nestled comfortably against him. _

"_Sweet Jesus it's a miracle…" She whispered. _

"_Now you can write that will out." Meemaw chimed from behind her "God forbids if anything happen to you, at least you will know that them two have each other…" _


	21. Everything Evil

( **Updated version of Chapter twenty-one, A few important changes) **

**I'm dedicating this chapter to my uncle who passed away early this morning. Sorry it's not the best…it's leading up to Haley and Lexi's plan** )

Chapter twenty-one: Everything Evil

_Then the accidents kept hidden away_

_But if they stay..._

_Jesse! _

_Just come look at what your brother did _

_Here h__e did away with me. _

_Stay until Wednesday, And write me a child-like letter pretending_

_ At war here in Thursday. _

_Let's make this our last day at home by the fence, _

_would you run? Would you run? _

_Would you run down past the fence?_

_Would you run? Would you run? _

_Would you run down past the fence? _

_And she screamed "Claudio, dear Claudio"_

_I wish god dammit we'll make it if you believe._

_~Coheed and Cambria_

Later that night Haley sat in the chair with her legs hanging over the arm with headphones in her ears, reading a comic book entitled 'The Second Stage Turbine Blade', when someone knocked on the door. Sheldon came from the bathroom in a rush and looked at Haley "Did you not hear the door?"

"_when you've gone about things all wrong. Bury them here, with the lifetime you would never regret." _

Sheldon looked at her confused and walked over to her to see she wasn't even paying attention. "Good grief child…" He muttered, as he walked to the door and answered it to find Penny standing there

"Hey, I just got off…" She said in an exhausted voice.

"Hello Penny, would you like to come in?" He asked politely.

"Thought you'd never ask Moonpie" She got on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek and walked in.

Sheldon groaned "Only Meemaw calls me that…"

Penny laughed and looked at Haley "Hey Hal, What's up?"

"_In savoring sleep, what do you mean I toss and turn everywhere? I'll miss you when you're gone in pretending that you meant the world to me. With that you'd call me a liar, and in the making mistakes you'll rest incomplete_." She sang as she turned the page.

Penny rolled her eyes "Does that girl go anywhere without those headphones?"

"Rarely…" Sheldon frowned "I don't see how she can enjoy reading a comic with that infernal racket blasting in her ears."

Haley paused had her ipod, hearing his last remark. "Because the lyrics go with the storyline of the comic books."

He looked completely confused "How can that possibly be?"

Haley closed the comic book and threw it at him. He caught it with both hands and held it up to read the cover. " The second stage Turbine Blade…This doesn't explain anything to me…" He arched an eyebrow.

Haley groaned and removed the headphones from her ears tossing the ipod at him. He caught that with his right hand and glanced down at the song playing "Neverender, The second stage turbine blade; Coheed and Cambria…" He paused "You mean they write music that goes along with the storyline of these comics?" He was actually fascinated by the concept.

"The lead singer writes them…" She smirked.

"Interesting…I may have to read them sometime…" He said paging through the comic before handing both items back to her.

"They definitely don't disappoint. Probably the reason they are like my favorite band…" It felt weird actually having a conversation with her brother about a band and to actually see him interested in hearing about it.

"Says Sheldon Jr." Penny laughed. It was comical to see how different the two siblings were, yet in the same way so alike.

"Hey, Sheldon may be obsessed with his comics, but he's not hardcore like me" She argued to her.

Sheldon narrowed his eyes at her "What's that supposed to mean?" He loved his DC Comics, so much his room was filled with their comics, and his wardrobe with shirts of their superhero's. He took Haley's words as a challenge.

'_Oh lord…" _Penny thought as she watched the two.

"Well I own every Coheed and Cambria cd, I have all of the Amory wars comics that have been released and I own like seven shirts."

Sheldon let out a laugh "That's all? My dear little sister, I own thousands of comics, have hundreds of action figures, and most of my shirts are DC related." He had that ne ner ne ner ne ner face on.

Haley expected that reaction which was the reason she refrained from saying the thing that would tip the scales. "Really, that's awesome." She stood up and turned her back to the two pulling her shirt up midway revealing the tattoo she wrote of. "Do you have one of these? That's the keywork, a galactic system of 78 planets in which Coheed and Cambria are the guardians, the dragonfly beneath is the insect/machine hybrid that injected Coheed with the monstar virus. It isn't activated though, until he returns to Cambria and sees her."

Penny couldn't help but snicker slightly at Sheldon's child like pout when he knew he lost.

"That's not fair and doesn't even count! I didn't give you consent to permanently alter your skin with graphic art!"

"Tough shit, it's still there. I was so bad ass I got it permanently inked onto my skin! So I win." She pulled the back of her shirt back down and sat with a look of triumph on her face.

"No, you do not win!" He argued back. Penny stepped in "Ok you two enough arguing. Let's just leave it at a tie."

"Penny…"Sheldon looked at her and whined.

"Sheldon…."She gave him a warning look, and he sighed loudly "Fine, a draw…I guess" saying bitterly.

Haley laughed "If you ever get the balls to get a Flash tattoo, then perhaps it will be a draw."

"I could ground you for that tattoo you know." He stared at her seriously.

"Oh I'm so scared! I already can barely leave the house, so what would grounding do?" She countered his threat.

He glared at her "Demon child"

"I thought I was the lord of the flies? Don't insult me by calling me the name of some lesser entity. We all know if I went to hell I'd take over." She grinned evilly.

"That I don't doubt." He frowned.

"Anyways," Penny said hoping to get the two off the subject "How did the session with Beverly go this afternoon?"

Haley's face immediately fell at those words. "Turns out I really am a freak."

Sheldon sighed "No you are not. Dissociative personality Disorder is nothing to be ashamed of."

Haley scoffed "Says you."

"I don't mean to sound stupid but what is Dissociative…whatever that is you just said…"

"It is a diagnosis in which two or more distinct identities or personalities take control of behavior. In other words multiple personalities…" Sheldon answered her calmly as he sat down in his spot.

Penny sat down next to him in shock "Oh God…so you like…turn into someone else all together?"

"Apparently, they got me on video, but it wasn't me…it was a twenty year old named Cassie…" Haley said bitterly as she got up. "I'm going to bed. I have a migraine and I really…really don't want to talk about all of this right now…" She headed to her room.

"Haley…" Sheldon called out. She stopped and turned to look at him.

"I…love you…"

Haley smiled "Love ya too…night guys…keep it down I don't want to hear that moaning shit I heard the other day."

Sheldon cheeks burned "I have no idea what you are talking about…" He looked down at his shoes. Penny couldn't help but blush at her remark as well.

"Suuuure you don't" She laughed and disappeared into her room.

Penny turned back to Sheldon and sighed "I wish there was someone I could make you feel better…make both of you feel better, but I just don't know how to…" She laced her fingers between his and rested her head on his shoulder. He didn't even flinch or stiffen at her touch now, and that made her happy.

"Well, you are good at interpreting teen lingo, correct?"

"You mean between the lines? Yeah, I guess you can say that…why?"

He got up suddenly and went to his desk retrieving his laptop, bringing it back with him. "After I figure out Haley's facebook password I want you to interpret it for me…"

Penny looked at him "How can you manage that? I couldn't even figure it out after she deleted it off my computer…"

"I have an IQ of 187, cracking a simple password is child's play. It has to be something she won't forget…a date of an event or word…" He pulled up facebook and typed in her email address. "Hmm… February 27th 2007" He pressed login. Invalid password "Drat…" He muttered.

"Is that the day…your mom and grandma died?"

"Yes…" He replied short as he started typing in another possible answer "Tinkerbell." Login. Invalid password. "urgh" He said in frustration. He knew he only had a couple more tries before it locked the account. Sheldon thought quickly before he glanced at the comic book in the chair "Wait a minute…" He reached over with his long arms and grabbed the comic book and started paging through it again. He stopped on a particular acronym and smirked as he typed it in "KBI78" Adding the number based on their argument just a few minutes ago. Login- Welcome Haley Marie. "Success." He said with a grin.

Penny blinked "How the hell did you guess that? KBI78...its not even a word or anything."

"Simple, I thought at first it would be a date or word from her childhood, but after those failed. As Haley's favorite band she just claimed is Coheed and Cambria, I assumed it had something to do with such. Looking through this comic the words the knowledge, the beast, and the inferno, appeared frequently, or KBI…the 78 at the end was in reference to the 78 planets in the keywork she was talking about earlier."

"Well I guess that's why you have two doctorates and a masters…" She muttered.

"Don't be ridiculous I have two doctorates and a masters for the simple fact that I am a genius. Like I said before, this was child's play."

"Don't have to be a smart ass" She glared at him, but he wasn't paying attention.

"Here are some messages…" He clicked the inbox and immediately felt himself enraged. "There from…_him" _He said through clenched teeth. He clicked the messages and read the older messages between Haley and Aaron. It was mostly lyrics and then he read the messages from yesterday, where he ordered her to meet him and she refused; the subtle threat, but it failed to specify anything solid.

Penny placed a hand comfortably on his shoulder "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine." He said coldly as he scrolled down to read the recently read message.

_Aaron Meloy: _

_I waited for you yesterday_  
><em>I waited and missed the last train<em>  
><em>I waited to say that I'd fallen in love with your way<em>  
><em>I waited for you yesterday<em>  
><em>Eventually walked home in the rain<em>  
><em>I waited to see if you felt the same for me<em>  
><em>But you don't,<em>  
><em>And you won't<em>  
><em>Go against your asshole father<em>  
><em>Going broke, <em>  
><em>Quitting dope <em>  
><em>For your folks<em>  
><em>Why did I even bother?<em>  
><em>Why did I?<em>  
><em>I waited for minds to change<em>  
><em>Pointing their fingers of blame<em>  
><strong><em>It's not my fault you're ashamed of how you feel<em>**

_Cause you don't _  
><em>Just admit it<em>  
><em>Cause you won't<em>

_Just admit it_

_ Just admit it _

_Just admit it_  
><em>Just admit it<em>  
><strong><em>JUST ADMIT IT!<em>**  
><em>I called you a whore and broke down your door<em>  
><em>But you don't even hate me! And how could I heal when you won't even feel?<em>  
><em>Why won't you hate me?<em>  
><em>But you don't and you won't<em>  
><em>Go against your asshole father <em>  
><em>Going broke, <em>  
><em>Quitting dope <em>  
><em>For your folks<em>  
><em>Why did I even bother?<em>  
><em>Why did I?<em>  
><strong><em>But you don't cause your nothing but <em>**  
><strong><em>Broken down daddy's little daughter <em>**  
><em>AREN'T CHA?<em>

_(four hours ago)_

"Cause that's not weird in the least..." Penny arched an eyebrow in confusion. "That little fucker…" She paused "Basically, he's delusional and a pervert, and he thinks that he can get away with what he's doing."

"I don't understand these lyrics though. Our father is dead...how can she possibly go against and betray him? Also, why are some of the lines are bold while others are not..."

"Honey i think he's referring to you as the 'Asshole father' " She shrugged it off "He's crazy...I think he belived that Haley feels the same way towards him...which is ridiculous. In his psycho mind, they are in a relationship..."

"How dare he even message my sister…" Sheldon fumed. Penny knew he was getting to his loss of control point, so she reached over and closed the computer. "Sheldon, you need to calm down. We will get him. Please sweetie…just look at me." She touched his face and gently turned his head to look him in the eyes. "It will be ok."

0000

Leonard was sitting in the chair eating cereal the next morning when Sheldon walked into the kitchen, still in pajama's as it was only 6:00 in the morning.

"Hey buddy, how'd things go last night?" He was referring to the therapy session. Sheldon sighed as he poured himself a bowl on honey puffs "Your mother has diagnosed Haley with dissociative identity disorder…"

Leonard blinked a few times then shook his head "No, that can't be right…"

"I'm afraid it is…your mother talked to a girl named Cassie last night…" He said as he fetched the milk from the fridge.

"Amy mentioned that…I just thought it was…" He paused "Well I don't know what it could have been, but not that…so multiple personalities? Like Sybil?"

"Yes, but Sybil Dorsett had sixteen different personalities…Haley has three…at least we think she does..."

"I can't wait till that son of a bitch pays for what he's done…"

"I hacked into Haley's facebook last night…found some messages from him to her…" His eye twitched, as he spoke.

Leonard looked up at him "Anything that will nail him?"

"Unfortunately no, it's all song lyrics and riddled messages."

"Damn it…this is crazy Sheldon. We need to confront him. I mean come on, there's four of us…well five if you include Penny with a baseball bat, I'm sure that alone will scare the guy shitless."

"What's scaring him going to do? I doubt he'll just go ahead and turn himself in."

"Torture or blackmail him into a confession and get it on tape?"

Sheldon shook his head "As much as I want to torture him, it won't do any good…" He sat down in his spot, feeling completely useless.

0000

_Saturday afternoon_

Haley sat in her room examining the two camera's and hidden microphones she swiped from Howard on Saturday. It's not like he'd missed them or anything, he's been married to Bernadette for two years now. He left his perverse past behind him. The plan was set into motion. Haley had told Sheldon she'd be spending the night at Lexi's house. Lexi's mother confirmed this over the phone to him, so that put his worries at ease. Raj had a date with Astrid (Lexi's mom) on this particular night and wouldn't be home till late. She would be there when they left, then the two would head to Hannah's. Hannah knew the two were coming over, but that only Haley could spend the night. Lexi lied saying she had to go to San Francisco with her mom early the next day so couldn't spend the night. Hannah almost always snuck out at night, giving the perfect opportunity for Lexi and herself to set up the camera's. Raj and Astrid usually came in late from their dates, so by the time they had gotten back, Haley would already have the evidence she needed and would be headed back home before they could discover she wasn't there.

It sounded solid, but there were doubts in her mind. _'What if they come back early and find that I'm not there? What if for some random reason Hannah decides not to go out?'_

"_We'll be fine.' _A voice assured her, that didn't sound like her own. Cassie shoved Haley aside and got up from the bed staring into the mirror attached to her dresser. "Now we gotta look the part. I think makeup is necessary." She pulled open the top drawer and pulled out mascara, lipstick, and dark eye shadow. Cassie laughed "What better way to lure him in than playing the innocent seductress."

_A small child cried softly. _"Don't worry Tink, this will be it. It will soon be over. We'll get the revenge we have been waiting for." She mused as she applied the lipstick, and smacked her lips, grinning at her reflection. Putting on the rest of the makeup, she went for the closet and began looking for something to wear. She pulled out a small Cradle of filth shirt that hugged her snugly, and a tight fitting pair of skinny jeans. "this will do…"

She quickly slipped into the outfit and returned to the mirror to make sure she looked alright. The smile she had turned into a look of horror as Haley now looked at herself in scared confusion. "I don't wear makeup…" She said to herself in a shaky voice.

**(Random tidbit, I think it's been obvious that Coheed and Cambria is Haley's favorite band. For those who don't know who they are they are a progressive rock band who's songs are a whole storyline based on the comics the lead singer wrote called: the Amory wars. She is Sheldon's sister after all lol! )**


	22. Made out of nothing

**(Updated version of Chapter Twenty-two. I added in Sheldon's nightmare…and a couple corrections…) **

**(Sorry this one took so long, it took me a while to get my head straight after the news of my uncle. I hope it's up to everyone's standards )**

Chapter twenty-two: Made out of nothing (all that I am)

_Someone please come shelter me from_

_all that I am and never again_

_will I believe the same old story_

_Someone please come shelter me from_

_all that I am and never again_

_will I believe the same old story_

~Coheed and Cambria

Leonard looked at Haley oddly as she came down the hall into the kitchen. "Are you wearing makeup?"

Haley looked at him and shrugged "I guess so."

"May I ask why?"

Sheldon, who was sitting at his desk working on a paper, turned to look at her and stared at her wide eyed. Haley ignored his bewildered expression and turned to Leonard "I…don't know…" She answered him honestly "I don't remember getting dressed or anything…"

Leonard nodded slowly, but didn't say anything. He knew that even though she didn't remember dressing herself, one of her selves did. He sure as hell didn't want to point that out to her though.

"Haley…" Sheldon was the one to speak "I really wish you would reconsider spending the night at Lexi's…" his voice was pleading.

Haley felt a pang of guilt, but she knew she had to do this. _'What if something happens tonight…and this is the last time you see him?' _She knew she was playing a game of Russian roulette, one mistake and it could cost her possibly her life.

"I just want to do something fun…and not be weighed down by all these thoughts…" She said in a solemn voice. The words were hard to speak, but they had to be said. Haley heard the car horn, and she knew Lexi's mom was there to pick her up.

Sheldon looked at her with the most hurt expression she had ever seen come across his face "I guess your ride is here…" He didn't know why but something was telling him this wasn't right. Something was off. He had never experienced such a feeling before and it alarmed him. It took him off guard when she leaped forward and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck in a hug. She lingered a few moments longer than she normally would, he detected strain in her voice as she spoke "I love you."

He was confused, but he hugged her back "I love you too…please refrain from doing anything that may cause you any bodily harm…"

"I…I will…" and with that she was gone.

Leonard stared at the door "That was weird…"

Sheldon turned to him and sighed "I wasn't the only one that noticed that? I think I am getting better at picking up social cues…"

"Well it means your not a robot…" Leonard smirked.

Sheldon looked at him and scoffed.

0000

"It's friggin sweet that your bro finally loosened your leash to let you spend the night." Hannah joked, as Haley sat on her bed Indian style watching a movie with her and Lexi.

"Yeah, he's just gotten really parental and shit…" Haley faked a laugh as she took a puff of the cigarette she had in her hand. It was already ten pm and Haley was getting worried that she and Lexi wouldn't be able to get Hannah out of her room to set up the equipment. Haley's phone buzzed and she glanced at it.

_Lexi : If she doesn't leave by midnight, I don't think she's going to…_

Haley quickly typed back a reply. '_I know, just my fucking luck…" _

Just then as if some unknown celestial being had answered their prayers Hannah's phone went off. She looked at it and smirked "It's my boyfriend…I'll be right back." Hannah hopped off the bed and left to room to talk to him in private.

Lexi let out a groan "About fucking time."

Haley nodded in agreement "Tell me about it."

"Well what are we waiting for, lets get this shit set up." Lexi slipped off the bed and walked over to Hannah's desk where Haley's backpack lay. She grabbed it up and tossed it to Haley, who caught it and set it on the bed, unzipping it. Haley grabbed out a small camera and looked around the room for the perfect place to set it without being seen. Her eyes came to a heap of stuffed animals. It hidden correctly it would provide at full view of the bed. "Found a place for this one.." She muttered as she quickly got off the bed and walked to the pile, hiding it safely underneath a Paddington bear.

"Sweet I found some places to hide those microphones, hand them over." Lexi said. Haley threw her the two tiny microphones and she hide them securely in two different parts of the room. "It's all set up…" Lexi's words were slow and full of concern. "Haley, are you sure about this?"

Haley took a deep breath, "Yes. This is the way its got to be…"

Lexi nodded "I better get going…if anything goes down, you fucking call me.."

She smiled slightly "I will. Thanks Lexi…"

Hannah entered the room with a huge smile on her face. She saw Lexi putting her hoodie on and frown "Boo whore, your leaving?"

"Yeah, have to get up early and go with mom to San Francisco…see you guys later…"

And with that she left the room. Hannah turned to Haley "Ok, don't hate me, but the guy I'm seeing is going to be picking me up for a while, can you cover for me for like…three or four hours? PLEASE PLEASE!" She gave Haley a puppy dog face.

'_All according to plan' _Cassie was ready. Haley nodded "It's cool. Have fun!"

"Oh I will!" Hannah grinned "We have got to get you a boyfriend, you just don't know…" She laughed.

'_Oh I know a lot more than you…your brother taught me well…' _Haley thought bitterly, "Nah, I'm good for right now…"

"Your choice. I'm gonna get ready…" and with that she ran out of the room again. Haley took a deep breath and got up to get ready to go to sleep, and turned the camera on. Hannah left twenty minutes later, so Haley crawled into her bed and pulled the covers over her head, closing her eyes tightly, waiting.

0000

The sound of the bedroom door opening and closing, forced her to arouse from her sleep. The wave of panic automatically filled her being as she felt the bed shift under an unseen person's weight. Her eyes closed tightly as the covers were pulled off of her, and she felt a hand stroke her hair. "It won't do any good to sleep…" Aaron hissed in her ear. She could hear the screaming of what sounded like a wounded, trapped animal in her head. just as those sounds began to vocalize through her lips, he clamped a hand tightly over her mouth, and narrowed his eyes "You know better than to scream Haley.." The only problem was, it wasn't Haley staring up at him with big eyes full of fear, squirming and trying to free herself. The camera rolled the whole time.

0000

_Sheldon found himself sitting at the end of a pew in what seemed like a small church. Looking around him he saw familiar faces. Penny, Leonard, Howard, Bernadette, Raj; even George and Missy were there. Dressed in black with their heads hung in what he could only describe as sadness. Looking down the aisle, he saw a casket set in front of the alter. He heard his founds talking around him._

"_I just don't understand this…" Bernadette cried, while Howard draped an arm around her for comfort. _

"_None of us do Bernie…" _

_He had a feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach at that point, causing him to rise to his feet. As he started to make his way towards the front, he heard Leonard "I can't believe she chose this path…How is he ever going to get over this?"_

"_I don't think he's going to learn to cope…especially this…" Amy answered him mournfully. _

_The closer he got to the casket, he noticed it was opened and there was someone laying inside. Not seeing Haley among these people, terrified him. That was when he noticed the person in the casket had long tresses of blonde hair. "Haley…" He choked as he stared down at his sister clad in a white ballerina style laced dress. Her pale translucent face had a look of peace on it._

_She reminded him of Sleeping Beauty which he often read to her as a little girl. Horror filled him as he realized she wasn't breathing. '_No…she's pretending…she's not…she can't be…' _his mind was racing. Reaching down he touched her hand only to find it cold as ice. "Haley please wake up. This is not funny…" _

_The hand that grabbed Sheldon's shoulder made him jump. He turned to see Leonard there with tears in his eyes "Sheldon…she's not going to wake up…" _

"_She's fine….she's just sleeping…" Sheldon argued, finding it harder to breath. This couldn't be happening. Yet it was. He was trapped in some nightmare he couldn't escape. _

"_She's gone Sheldon…." _

0000

It was two in the morning and Sheldon found himself awake in a cold sweat. He sat up and looked at the alarm clock, it read 2:15am. He sighed not being able to remember what his dream was about. The only thing that remained was the worry. He got up, figured he would head to the kitchen to get some warm milk to help him get back to sleep when something made him stop in front of Haley's room. He quietly opened her door and turned on the light. A typical teenager's room, with clothes thrown around and band pictures all over the walls.

He thought to himself. "_She was acting strange tonight…when she said goodbye…it was different, like she was scared…like it was the last time she was going to see me…" _

"Oh God…" Sheldon said aloud to himself as he quickly got up and rushed out of the bedroom to his own to throw some clothes on. Just as he got his pants on he heard the front door open and close. He rushed into the front room, to find Haley standing there. Hair a mess and makeup smeared, it was obvious she had been crying.

"Haley…thank god…" He practically ran over to her and pulled her to him, hugging her tightly. "My REM sleep was completely disrupted…I kept having these dreams telling me that something bad happened to you, that something wasn't right." Haley looked up at him "You were right…something wasn't." She pulled away from him and wiped her eyes with her sleeve, then reached into her pocket pulling out a SD disc. She grabbed hold of one of his hands and placed it in his palm. "There's your evidence…"

He looked down at it "What do you mean?" he said slowly, looking back at her, but she couldn't look him in the eye.

"I spent the night by Hannah's…" She took a long pause trying to get herself together but couldn't so the last part came out in a rush "and I got it all on tape so that there would be proof." She started to cry. "Just don't watch it. Call the cops tomorrow and give it to them."

"You did what?" He had to sit down, anywhere at that point, the table in front of the couch was the closest object near him. "Haley…What in God's name were you thinking going back to that house. With him there..." He was now angry. He did everything in his power to keep her safe, and here she was disobeying everything he had told her.

Haley just shook her head "Because, it was something I had to do. I know if he would have figured it out…I know I wouldn't have ever come back…but I…I just want it to be over…" She walked over to the couch and sat down. Sheldon turned to face her with a conflicted look on his face "You wouldn't have ever come back, I'm not sure I understand."

"I didn't tell you before…Aaron kinda told me that if I ever told anyone…he would kill me, and then himself…he showed me the gun once…had two bullets in it….I just couldn't live like this anymore…I cant…so I did what I had to do, even though I knew it was practically a suicide mission…"

It took a minute for him to speak, he got up and sat down next to her. "Haley…do you realize what could have happened if he found out…" He was choking on his words, as his mind played out the scenario had Aaron discovered her plot of deceit against him.

She stared down at the floor, feeling numb, unable to feel anything at that point. "I would be dead…" _'I already am..'_

"Haley, look at me now." Sheldon said in a dead serious tone. Haley removed her eyes from her shoes upward till she locked eyes with him.

"I don't want you to EVER do something like this again. Do you hear me?"

She nodded quickly, tears started to stream down her cheeks.

"That explained your odd actions earlier today, when you left….the way in which you hugged me…I don't understand why or how…but I knew something was not right…"

"I prepared for the end…if it was the last time I was going to see you…I wanted you to know I love you…"

Sheldon put an arm around her and pulled her close to him in a one armed hug. "You're ok…you don't have to fret…your home. I have you and I won't let anything happen."

Haley smiled as she rested her head on his shoulder, wiping her tears with her sleeve, "You know, for being a crazy physicist, who claims that emotions and social protocol elude him, you always know how to make me feel better."

"I have had seven years of practice and observation of a hyperactive ,not to mention emotionally sensitive little girl… I guess I picked up a few things along the way" He paused "For the umpteenth time I'm not crazy, mom had me tested."

Haley made a face at him "I am not, 'emotionally sensitive'"

Sheldon laughed "Haley, the first time you watched The Lion King you were six. I had to carry you around for exactly three hours and twenty seven minutes because you were crying your eyes out that Mufasa died."

"I don't remember this…" She scoffed, but she knew it was true. She just hated to admit it.

"And don't get me started on how upset you were when Michael Jackson died…"

"Hey now, Michael was my idol…" She put a finger up to silence him, he just shook his head at her. "And so what, look at all the bones I've broken, all the times I've fallen, do I ever cry?"

"That's an entirely different definition of being sensitive. Physically, you do abnormally well with pain. I don't, I avoid bodily harm at all costs. Emotionally though, your like Meemaw…you take everything upon yourself…Mom used to say Meemaw felt the pain of the world. You are just like her in that aspect. You chose to endure pain if it means you can lesson it for someone else."

"And you like to have your emotions shut off." Haley raised an eyebrow at him.

"Figuratively speaking, yes. It just came easy to me, till you that is."

"Why?"

He reached up and brushed a piece of hair from her face, "It pains me to no end seeing you upset. Your so young, you shouldn't have to worry about the worlds problem, the problems going on now…you deserve to be a kid, instead of wearing yourself thin, and pushing yourself mentally to your limit…"

"What Bernadette told me once, was that God chose some people for such a purpose. She said she was taught that those who feel the agony of the world are rewarded in heaven. Saint Joan of Arc, Saint Therese, and Saint Francis are a few…"

"I refuse to believe in deities, you know this. I personally believe its hokum." He paused when he saw the look on his sisters face, and stopped himself. "But if you chose to believe that, that's acceptable, but you must know Momma wouldn't have approved of it. She disliked Catholic teachings. It doesn't phase me in the least if that's what you believe. She disliked that I was atheist."

Haley smiled slightly at his words, but her mind seemed to be somewhere else at that time. He noticed this and hugged her tighter "What are you thinking?"

"I think…" She took a deep breath "That this will never go away, that I will never be normal…average."

"You're my sister, of course you aren't normal…average, you have always been superior than everyone else, like myself."

"I doubt I'm superior…I just feel like a whore…" She muttered.

Sheldon looked down at her in disbelief "Haley Marie Cooper, you are in no way a whore…it was not your fault. I tell you this all the time, why can't you believe me?"

" I don't know" She shrugged " I want to but its hard…when that's all I've felt for years…how Aaron made me feel…" _'How he made me have feelings for him that I can't get rid of that make me sick to my stomach.' _

Sheldon released Haley from his embrace and stood up. He turned to her and helped her to her feet "You should take a shower and wash that makeup off." She nodded slowly and headed to the bathroom shutting the door behind her.

"_Don't worry, I'm here…please see that…" _He thought sadly as he retired to his bedroom, memory card in hand.


	23. The beast and the harlot

(Updated version of chapter twenty-two)

(**Ok in this chapter the game is over for Aaron. Justice will be served,, but before that happens, Sheldon plans to confront him. I had a few reviews for Sheldon justice, so here it is! Don't worry he doesn't go psycho!)**

Chapter twenty-three: The beast and the harlot

_The day has come for all us sinners_

_if you're not a servant, _

_you'll be struck to the ground_

_fleeing the burning, greedy city_

_ lookin back on her to see there's nothing around._

_I don't believe in fairytales and no one wants to go to hell_

_you 've made the wrong decision and it's easy to see_

_ if you wanna serve above or be a king below with us,_

_You're welcome to the city where your future is set forever._

~ Avenged Sevenfold

Five and a half years ago

_Penny climbed the stairs to her apartment early that afternoon, annoyed and slightly worried as she talked to Leonard on the phone. She had left work after she got a code milky green text message from him, and made the call. _

"_So you just ran out?" _

"_But Penny, it's a code milky green, no one wants to be around Sheldon when he's sick like that! You of all people should know this." _

_Penny knew very well how needy and down right babyish Sheldon got when he was sick, but she still knew it wasn't right. "Yeah, well did you think about Haley? She's sick too, you left a sick child practically alone in the house…" _

"_Well…I…didn't think about that…it was code milky green!" Leonard pleaded with his girlfriend._

"_Yeah, well I had to leave work early and lose more money that I don't have because you guys can't man up for a day and help your sick annoying friend out,"_

"_Sorry Penny…oh, the movie is about to start. Gotta go! " and with that he hung up, making Penny groan in frustration. "Damn him." She said aloud to herself as she reached the fourth floor and picked out her key to Leonard and Sheldon's apartment. When she opened the door she automatically smelled something cooking, and arched an eyebrow in confusion. _'Sheldon never does anything but whine and complain when he was sick. why is he cooking?'

_Sheldon was nowhere in sight, the only one who occupied the room was Haley. She was standing in her nightgown on a stool by the stove with a spatula in her hand. Penny dropped her purse immediately and ran over to her. "Haley Marie, what are you doing?" _

_Haley scooped up the grilled cheese sandwiches she was making and slid them on the plate next to her. She turned around to look at her. "I'm making Sheldon some grilled cheese, but don't tell him, he's asleep and doesn't know." _

_Penny turned the stove off and scooped the little girl up into her arms, carrying her over to the couch. "Haley, that's really nice of you to do that, but you're too little to be cooking grilled cheese. You could have been hurt." _

"_But I wasn't. I'm ok…I promise." She said in her sweet sing song voice. _

_Penny placed a hand on her forehead and sighed "Baby, your burning up. You need to lay down…"_

_Haley shook her head "I don't feel sick…" _

"_LEONARD!" Sheldon bellowed from his room, accompanied with coughing and other unpleasant sounds. _

"Oh God _…_it's_ up.."Groaned Penny. _

_Sheldon came stumbling into the living room wrapped in a blanket, coughing loudly "Where's Leonard?" he asked in a nasally voice. _

"_He's gone, I'm here today to take care of you…"_

"_Oh, ok." He said as he sat down in his spot. "I'm hungry." _

_Haley slipped off the couch and ran to the kitchen. She hopped up and grabbed the plate of grilled cheese sandwiches, running back to the couch. She then presented the plate to him "I made you grilled cheese." _

_Sheldon looked at Haley in disbelief "How did you know I would want grilled cheese?" _

_She shrugged her shoulders "You always want either soup or grilled cheese when your sick." _

"_Thank you, but next time, I would prefer if you wouldn't play with fire." He sniffled as he picked up one of the sandwiches taking a bite. _

"_Ok…" She said with a pout. _

"_You shouldn't be running around so much. You have the flu as well, and need to rest." He pointed out. _

_Haley made a face and crossed her arms over her chest "I'm not sick…I just wanted to help…" As much as she tried to convince them she was fine, her pale face told otherwise. _

_Sheldon sighed and reached into his robe pocket taking out his handheld thermometer. He checked her temperature much to her displeasure. He let out a sigh when he read the results "Haley, you have a temperature of precisely 104.5, therefore you are in fact ill." _

_Haley shrugged "Leonard gave me Tylenol before he ran away,"_

"_How long ago was that?" Penny asked. _

"_I dunno, like five hours ago when I woke up…" _

_Penny rolled her eyes, as she got to her feet. She had to let them know, she was the one in charge. "Both of you, beds. Now!"_

"_But I don't feel sick…" Haley whined. _

"_And I'm still eating…" Sheldon said in a similar tone. _

'God it's like dealing with TWO children.' _Penny thought as she stood up. "No buts or complaints. Go! Sheldon I'll be in there in a few minutes to sing you soft kitty and put vapor rub on your chest…" She then turned to Haley "And I'll read you a few stories and get you some more medicine for your fever." _

_The two got up and headed down the hall. "I hate being sick…no fun…" Haley complained. _

"_I could not agree with you more…" Sheldon sniffled. _

_Penny sat back down and let out a loud sigh "This is going to be one hell of a day…" She said aloud to herself. _

_0000_

Sheldon had woken up bright and early the next morning, despite his lack of sleep, made himself cereal and watched Dr. Who, like he normally did on Saturday mornings. He was having trouble concentrating on the episode, due to the events that occurred hours before. The memory card was sitting on his bedside table just where he left it. He knew he should call the authorities right away, but there was this voice in the back of his head telling him that he needed to confront that bastard before he handed him over. He needed to see his face, see the man who caused his sister to turn to the path she was headed down. Sheldon had never been an intimidating person, but he sure wanted to put the fear of God into the son of a bitch. His train of thought was interrupted when he looked at the time and realized he had been sitting there for over five hours, pondering over things that didn't involve physics.

He found himself getting up and walking down the hall to Haley's room to check on her. Being 11:45 in the morning, it wasn't like Haley to sleep this long, even with the effects of the zyprexa and Prozac, Dr. Hofstadter had her on. Not bothering with his repetitive knocks he opened the door and walked in to find her buried beneath a load of blankets, her hair was the only part of her visible. Sitting down on the bed next to her, he slowly pulled down the covers and nudged her a couple of times. "Haley…Haley…Haley…"

She groaned and turned around to look up at him "What?"

"It's almost noon, and you are still sleeping…" He stated calmly.

She buried her face back into the pillow. "I just want to stay asleep forever…"

The words hit him in a way that they never would have before. For once he got what she meant. He reached out and stroked her hair gently "Would going to the mall help improve your depressive mood?"

She looked up, "It won't erase what happened." Pausing, she thought for a moment "Can I get my tongue pierced?"

"No, you can not."

"Another tattoo?"

"Absolutely not." He frowned at her.

"100 bucks and an electric guitar?"

"Fine on the money, maybe on the guitar…" He sighed "You are going to be the death of me one of these days…"

0000

"Dude, it's just Hot Topic, I've been in there tons of times with Haley, its pretty cool actually." Raj said to Sheldon as the guys walked around the mall, feeling awkward. This place was definitely not their scene.

"I dislike going to that store, the loud music gives me a headache…"

"Come on Shelly!" Haley whined "I want a new Mayday Parade hoodie!"

"Oh, alright. I guess I can tolerate it for a few minutes…" He said with a pout.

Haley took him by surprise when she hugged him and ran off into the store.

"Yeah, this is why I don't plan on having kids for a while." Leonard shook his head with a laugh.

Sheldon looked at him confused "I don't understand the correlation, because they like going shopping?"

Leonard face palmed himself "No, because they are expensive as hell."

Sheldon just shrugged "Money is of no object to me. You know my living expenses count for only about half of my income, I save the rest. If some new clothes and possibly an electric guitar makes her happy, then so be it."

"An electric guitar? Really?" Raj said in disbelief "You hate it when she blasts her music, how are you going to deal with her playing a guitar without losing your mind?"

"It was either that or letting her get her get her tongue pierced…I suppose I chose the lesser of two evils…"

Howard grabbed out his phone and searched for a second before finding the sound he was looking for. The crack of a whip. Raj and Leonard started laughing, but Sheldon just glared at him. "Grow up."

They walked into the store and Raj immediately went to the music section. Howard gave him an odd look, but Raj just shrugged "Hey, they actually have some good music here."

"That's sad…Haley has turned him into an emo girl…" Howard commented.

Sheldon glanced around for Haley amidst the many people who were there shopping and immediately saw her turning the rack that held the tongue and navel rings. He walked over to her and shook his head "No."

Haley looked at him and let out a loud melodramatic sigh "I know. I can still look and dream."

"Keep dreaming kitten, now go pick out whatever it is that you want to get. This place makes me very uncomfortable."

"Fine" She took off to the band shirt wall. Leonard approached him when he seen Haley walk off. "So what are your plans…you know for getting evidence against that creep?"

"Haley already beat us to it." He said in a louder voice, trying to speak over the music.

Leonard looked at him "What do you mean?"

"I mean she lied. She spent the night by Hannah's last night on purpose and…got it all on tape."

His mouth dropped when he heard Sheldon say this. "You got to be kidding me." He paused "But there's evidence now, why didn't you go ahead and call the police this morning?" Leonard was confused at that point, trying to figure out Sheldon's motive.

"Because I plan on having a few words with him myself before I do so." Sheldon replied curtly.

This worried Leonard slightly "I don't know Sheldon. With the way you have been acting, do you think that is best? You might lose control and kill the guy…"

Sheldon looked at him with annoyance "I will do no such thing. I now see that, that would provide him with an easy exit. No, I want him to live with what he has done, and let it consume him."

"You know we'll be going with you right? It would be insane to let you go by yourself."

"As much as I would be displeased with that. If you feel it is necessary then by all means accompany me."

Leonard was going to say more, but Haley came back over to them with a handful of items in her hands. "Ok I'm done."

Sheldon walked over to the checkout register with Haley, while Leonard left the store to find Raj and Howard, who wandered off somewhere else.

'_let's just hope this plan of his doesn't end badly…' _

0000

Howard ran into Sheldon and Raj's office the next morning, not evening bothering to knock. Sheldon looked away from his dry erase board at him and frowned "I see you have failed to use proper protocol and knock before entering someone's place of work. I have only to assume that you have something important to tell me?"

Howard ignored his rudeness for the moment and nodded "He's here. The email I sent him to meet me worked."

Sheldon immediately capped his marker and set it on the tray. "Where is he?" This was it, the moment he was going to come face to face with the man who tormented and dehumanized his sister. He clenched his fists trying to control the urge to just push past Howard and hunt the bastard down himself.

"He's in the engineering lab. I lied and told him I had to fetch a movie for him to watch, about the university and whatnot."

"That was a stupid lie."

"Well I'm sorry, what was I going to say. 'hey, why don't you wait here while I go get Haley's brother who wants to pummel you.'?"

"Of course not, then it wouldn't be unexpected…" When he saw the roll of Howard's eyes his paused "Oh that was sarcasm wasn't it?"

"Yep."

"Drat." Sheldon frowned.

"What if he just denies it? What will we do then? Play the video and make him watch it?"

"Precisely…"

Howard took a deep breath "Ok Buddy, lets do this. Raj and Leonard are already waiting by the lab."

0000

Aaron sat in a chair, looking around at his surroundings, wondering what was taking Howard so long. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, until Howard came into the lab accompanied by Leonard, Raj, and Haley's brother Sheldon. He froze slightly when Leonard shut the door behind him, but regained his composure quickly "Hey guys, took all of you to find that video?"

"Oh we found a video, but not the one you are thinking of…"Sheldon answered him darkly.

Howard opened his laptop and put the SD disc in the port. While he was doing this Raj leaned close to Sheldon and whispered "Are you sure you want to see this?"

Sheldon was honest when he shook his head no. He didn't want to see what the video contained, but he knew not watching it didn't make it not happen. This was his little sister though, to see that, would probably break what last strings he had left holding him together.

Aaron's eyes widened as he recognized the room on the video as Hannah's. He tried to get up but Leonard put a hand on his shoulder and pushed him down. "You're not going anywhere buddy. You have some things to explain to us."

"I don't know what your talking about man…" Aaron's voice went up an octave.

"I think you know exactly what we are talking about…" Leonard looked down at him coldly. Sheldon had to turn away as soon as he saw Aaron pull the covers off of his sister, hearing her scream, the muffled sound of her cries. _'You know better than to scream Haley.'_

Raj, who was standing at the door as a lookout, sunk to the floor and covered his ears. Howard, who was sitting on the table next to the computer had his eyes to the floor, his leg shaking impatiently as he tried to think of something else for that moment. Leonard though stood there behind Aaron, holding him down in his seat, making the kid watch every minute of the video. "I…I…" Aaron stammered, not knowing what to do or say. He looked like he was about to have a panic attack.

Sheldon couldn't take it anymore, he exited out of the video and turned the boys' chair around to look at him. "You may want to chose you words wisely." He hissed.

"It's…it's not what it looks like. She wanted it…I swear…" Aaron choked, looking like an animal on his way to the slaughter house.

"Really. She wanted it, even when she was eight years old, and you stole her innocence?"

Howard glared at him.

"I didn't, I swear…"

Sheldon was trying to control himself with all the will power he had in him, yet it was extremely difficult. "You know, for a man of almost superhuman intelligence as myself, I could kill you right here and now, and cover it up without anyone knowing what happened to you." He said through clenched teeth. "Do not lie to me."

"Fine. I did it ok? I was a stupid horny teenager and your sister…she's just…"

"Watch those words buddy…" Leonard looked down at him with a demented smirk of the sorts.

"You were just a horny teenager…"Sheldon repeated his words slowly "Hmm, then why is this video from two days ago?"

"I love her…"

"Bullshit." Howard spat "What you mean to say is I love to control and use her. She's thirteen years old you sick son of a bitch." He lunged forward but Raj hopped up and stopped him.

"No that's not what I meant." Aaron's words came out quickly. "I love her and she loves me. She's just too afraid to tell you how she really feels. I didn't mean to hurt her back then. I just wanted to make her love me… and now she does."

Raj gave him a disgusted look and shook his head.

Sheldon leaned in really close to him and locked eyes "Listen to me, you crazed, delusional son of a bitch. You are never EVER going to touch my sister again. You are going to pay for all the damage you have caused her." Sheldon rose and walked out the door, taking his cell phone out of his pocket and started to dial.

"What are you doing?"

"Oh, he's calling the police. I'm sure they will love to see this…" Leonard had to place his other hand on Aaron's other shoulder to prevent him from running. "Oh your not going anywhere…the coward that you are, you'd probably just run home and use that gun to off yourself. Suicide is too merciful for you. Prison, now that sounds like a perfect place."

"Oh yeah, you know those inmates just love guys who rape little girls…"Howard grinned at him.

Sheldon came back a few minutes later, "The police are on their way. They said to keep him here. I told them he was a suicide risk."

"Please don't do this…my parents…this would kill them…my life…any hopes of anything…"

Those words just infuriated Sheldon as he quickly walked over to him and looked down at him, looking oddly intimidating at that moment. "Did _you_ show mercy to my little sister when she begged you to stop? Did you ever think how the abuse you inflicted on her would effect _her _life? That you caused her mind to break into three different personalities? Did you ever think of how knowing that you did this to her is killing _me?" _

"_little lying whore…"_ Aaron muttered.

That was the last straw for Sheldon, and he drew a fist back and punched him square in the face. Aaron's hands flew up to his bleeding nose as he yelped in pain. Raj and Howard had to pull Sheldon back before he could strike him again. He quickly shook the two off and narrowed his eyes at the doubled over Aaron "I have been able to control myself, through all of this…" He backed against the wall trying to calm himself down "But don't you ever call my sister a whore again or so help me God I will make you wish for death…"

Leonard looked at Sheldon wide eyed. He had never seen him hit anyone before, in all the years of knowing him. "Raj, take Sheldon outside to calm himself down. Howard and I got this till the police come."

Sheldon let Raj lead him out of the engineering lab and into the hallway. Sheldon walked over to the stairwell and sat down putting his head in his hands.

"You gonna be ok?" Raj sat down next to him.

"What I am wondering is if Haley ever will be…"

0000

"She did what?" Penny said outraged, as Sheldon told the others of Haley's actions the night before as they sat in the living room that afternoon after the guys came home from work, and justice had been properly served.

"She lied to me, and spent the night by Hannah's without my consent…in order to gather evidence against Aaron…" Sheldon said in slight annoyance "Did I not make myself clear before?"

"No, you did Sheldon, I think Penny is just shocked that Haley would put herself in such a position…" Amy said on Penny's behalf.

"I was not pleased at all. I'm upset…mortified that she would let him do that…again. I see her motive, what better way to get hard evidence than on film, but…he hurt her again…" His voice got lower, almost inaudible.

"We took care of things though…" Howard turned to Penny.

"What do you mean you took care of things?" Bernadette looked at her husband cautiously. "What did you do?"

Leonard removed his arm from around Amy and stood up "We lured him to the university, made him watch Haley's candid video and confronted him, that's all…"

"Why do I have the feeling that you aren't telling us everything?" Amy looked at her boyfriend with doubt.

"We didn't hurt him, honest. Well I mean Sheldon did kind of punched him, but he was fine. The police didn't say a word about it when they hauled him off."

"Sheldon you hit him?" Penny looked at him actually impressed.

"He deserved it. No one calls my sister a whore…" He muttered as he typed away at his laptop. Penny got up and walked over to where he was sitting and wrapped her arms around him from behind, pecking his cheek softly. "I would have done the same thing moonpie."

He sighed "thank you, but please refrain from calling me that, only meemaw called me that…"

"Where's Haley?" Amy asked.

"Still at Lexi's house…I don't think she knows what happened, unless Hannah ends up saying something to her…" Leonard spoke, it had occurred to him how unpleasant it might get when Haley got home and found out that her assailant has been put behind bars, or worse if word had already reached her from another source; like school.

**(Sorry to the one who wrote that****this chapter was unbelievable and such. I talked with a few people about which way to go with this story and it was agreed that Sheldon going all out and beating the living shit out of the guy just wasn't the answer. Throughout this story after what happened was discovered Sheldon was battling with those thoughts inside, but it was pointed out to him numerous times that it would not help matters any. As for not noticing it, Haley is a damn good liar. I hate to say that about my character but that's how I made her, well until she slipped and got her ass caught, but besides the point. Sheldon is gullible, who remembers the episode where Raj and Penny 'hooked up' and he actually believed Penny's claim that it wasn't what it looked like. Anyways, sorry guys that just urked me. I have seen these characters written out in all sorts of different ways, from being sexual deviants, murderers (which btw that story is awesome!) just to name a few. I have seen a lot of great stories created that have been somewhat or completely OOC. If you don't like what is being written move along. And I'm done with my rant. Thanks everyone! )**


	24. Black Balloon

(Updated version of chapter twenty four!)

(**I have debated on where I want to go from here, and I believe now it will be gearing up for a trial, because realistically that is what would happen. Along with Haley fighting her demons and coming to grips with her illness, as well as the aftermath of Aaron being put in jail.) **

Chapter twenty-four: Black Balloon

_Baby's black balloon makes her fly_  
><em>I almost fell into that hole in your life<em>  
><em>And you're not thinking 'bout tomorrow<em>  
><em>Cuz you were the same as me<em>  
><em>But on your knees<em>

_Comin' down the world turned over_  
><em>And angels fall without you there<em>  
><em>And I go on as you get colder<em>  
><em>All because I'm<em>  
><em>Comin' down the years turn over<em>  
><em>And angels fall without you there<em>  
><em>And I'll go on and I'll lead you home and<em>  
><em>All because I'm<em>  
><em>All because I'm<em>  
><em>And I'll become<em>  
><em>What you became to me<em>

_~Goo Goo Dolls_

_Three years ago_

_Haley found herself in the Wolowitz's backyard. Howard and Bernadette were upstairs arguing over Howard's mom, who tended to keep a firm hand of control on her son's life, much to Bernadette's annoyance. Bouncing the kick ball with her hands she tried to control the thoughts that were in her head. '_what happened last night was dirty. You're a dirty person._' The voice hissed to her. _

"_No I'm not…" She said angrily aloud, as she brushed a frustrated hand through her hair. She tore off the bow she was wearing, letting it fall onto the pavement. _

"You know it's true. You wouldn't be getting mad if it wasn't."

"_It's not true…" She yelled. _

_Howard stuck his head out the window and looked down at her "Are you alright Haley?" _

_She stopped bouncing the ball and caught it with her hands, turning to look up at him. "I'm fine." She said, faking a smile. _

"_Alright, we'll be down in a few minutes ok?" _

_She just nodded, and continued with what she was doing. _

'only crazy people yell at themselves_…' The voice taunted. She gripped the ball tightly and threw it down to the ground with such force it bounced way above her head and got caught in the gutter of the garage. "Oh no…" She sighed. _

"way to go_…"_

"_Shut up." Haley muttered angrily as she walked over to the tree that was right next to the garage. She jumped catching the first branch pulling herself up onto it. Then got onto the roof of the garage with ease, on her hands and knees as she crawled over to the gutter to retrieve her ball. _

'Sheldon's gonna be mad when you get home all dirty and full of dead, wet leaves_.' the voice laughed. _

'_No he won't." She argued back. _

"Face it, you are far from the type of perfection your brother aims for. Just a mess up, like George and Missy. He's just too ashamed to admit it to anyone, to you."

"_It's not true…" She reached the gutter and leaned forward, grabbing it out and clutching it to her chest. She was about to turn around when she stopped and looked down at the ground below. After the fact, she couldn't explain what made her throw the ball down to the ground and stand up, slowly walking over to the edge. _

"It will all go away. You'll be free…" _the voice said sweetly to her. _

"_Haley, where are you?" She could hear Bernadette yell from down below. _

"Jump."

'_I shouldn't…I'll get even more dirty…" She thought. _

"_HALEY!" _

'Jump!"

'_But Bernadette is looking for me.." _

"_Howard have you seen Haley?" She heard Bernadette say._

"_She was just down here…" He called back to her._

'Let go and JUMP!'

_Haley knew she shouldn't, but it didn't stop her from stepping off the edge, falling fifteen feet below. It felt like flying, until she hit the ground. _

_Bernadette, who was standing out the porch looking around the block for Haley was the one to hear the thud come from the side of the house. She ran to the side of the house and saw Haley on her knees, clutching her arm. "Oh my god Hal. what happened?" _

_The pain hit Haley like a freight train as she tried to comprehend what Bernadette was saying. She was joined by Howard who kneeled down next to them, examining her arm. _

"_Haley I'm gonna have to take off your sweater to look at your arm ok…"_

_She nodded blankly, her eyes stinging with tears as he carefully removed her maroon cardigan and tossed it aside. She wore a short sleeved pinafore dress (after constant complaints, Sheldon finally let Penny and Bernadette do the clothes shopping for her.) that was now dirty and stained with fresh blood. She looked down at herself, not sure where it was coming from. When she looked down at her arm, it was bloody and horribly mangled with something sticking out of it that she really didn't want to think about. _

"_I'm…I'm dirty…Sheldon's going to be really mad that I'm dirty…I ripped my tights…" She rambled on and on with a shaky voice. Everything was spinning and she saw black dots, before she passed out against Bernadette. _

_She woke up in a bed that wasn't her own and in a hospital gown. She bolted upright in the bed and let out a painful yelp, as she noticed she had a cast on her right arm. She felt long fingers on her shoulder suddenly, holding her in place. "Don't jerk like that, you will just cause yourself more pain." _

_Haley turned her head to see Sheldon sitting there next to the bed in a chair. A stern look on his face, she nodded slowly and laid back against the pillow. _

"_Your arm is fractured in two places , while your ankle is fractured in three…" He stated matter of factly. There was a pregnant pause before he continued "What on earth were you doing on the Wolowitz's garage roof?" _

"_It…it was an accident…" She stuttered. "I lost my ball in the gutter and I went to get it," _"And then this voice told me to jump…" "_and I slipped." _

_He touched her hair and sighed "You must be more careful…you could have broken your back, or snapped your neck…" _

"_I know, I'm sorry…I couldn't help it…" _

"_Of course you could have, you could have refrained from climbing up on a roof…" _

"_I'm sorry…" She just repeated. That was her automated response it seemed to him, but he couldn't be upset with her. _

"_It's alright, I sometimes forget that you are a curious child, bold even…I was terrified when I got the call from Howard, I ran out on my skype conversation with Amy Ferrah Fowler…I forgot to even put on my bus pants.." He said in a mortified tone. "All those germs…and here…well this place is just crawling with them, but you are here…and I just…I had to come…I was scared…" _

"_I just wanted to get my ball…I didn't think about it…" She mumbled, feeling horrible that she put her brother in such an uncomfortable position. He leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead "It's alright. Just rest, I'm sure you must be in a lot of pain…"_

"_Actually…I don't feel anything at all…" _

"_Your pain tolerance baffles me to no end…" He shook his head as he got up "I'll be back.." He then left the room and went to where Bernadette and Howard were waiting quietly. _

"_How is she? Oh my God I'm so sorry Sheldon…she was there one minute and the next…" _

"_It was not your fault. she simply wanted to retrieve her ball. Answering your question, she is fine. She seems to be in no pain…" _

"_She wasn't after she fell either. All she was worried about was you getting mad that she got dirty and tore her dress and tights.." _

0000

At around eight at night, everyone else retired to their homes leaving Sheldon, Penny, and Leonard to themselves. It was now past eleven o clock at night, and still no sign of Haley. Penny sat there on her phone checking for a text message. She sighed impatiently "I messaged her four times, I got nothing."

"I sent two, I got nothing…and I messaged Lexi, she said she left at 6:30..." Leonard ran a hand through his hair in slight frustration.

Sheldon had remained quiet, watching Firefly intensively up until that point. "It's safe to assume that Alexis is lying, and knows perfectly well that Haley is with her. She just doesn't want to come home…"

Just then the door opened and Haley came walking in with her headphones in her ears singing along to some random song with an odd grin on her face. "_Can't make my own decisions Or make any with precision Well maybe you should tie me up, so I don't go where you don't want me. You say that I been changing that I'm not just simply aging Yeah how could that be logical? Just keep on cramming ideas down my throat…"_

She looked up seeing the three staring at her and removed her headphones "What's up everyone?" She started to laugh, as she set her skateboard up against the wall, nearly falling into the wall. "Whoops!"

Penny looked at her with an arched eyebrow. She didn't expect Haley to be acting so…giddy all of a sudden, she could only come to one conclusion which she stated aloud "Are you drunk?" _'Hopefully she's not tweaking...'_

Haley looked at her and shook her head "Nope." '_No shit I'm drunk..' _

It was Leonard's turn to speak "Well, we have been waiting for you to get home…to let you know that Aaron won't be around anymore."

She nodded and shrugged her shoulders "I already knew. I got a text message from Hannah after school, saying that I was a fucking liar" She tried to control herself from laughing again. "I was feeling like shit, but right now…I'm feeling amazing, so don't ruin it for me…"

Sheldon looked at her carefully as he noticed her dilated and glossy eyes. Her inappropriate elated mood, and her constant fidgeting as she stood there in front of them.

"How much have you had to drink Haley? Or is the question what have you taken?"

Haley's mood automatically changed from elated to angry as hell in zero to ten seconds flat. Her eyes narrowed at him "Why do you always fucking think I'm on something, or drunk? Is it so God damn horrible for me to be actually happy?"

Her random outbursts failed to startle him anymore, as he turned the TV off and turned his attention to her completely. "You must take me for a fool if you think I'd believe that hokum." He got up and walked over to her. "Dilated, glassy eyes…incessant speech…can't seem to stop stumbling and falling into things, oh yes and it is apparent you are sweating, yet you seem to be doing no physical activity to explain it."

She had daggers for her brother with the words she spoke "So very observant my dear brother. I find it funny how you pay attention to details and remember everything that's in a book with that eidetic memory of yours, yet you failed to see what was going on right under your nose for four years."

You could hear a pin drop in that room as Sheldon stared down at her for once in his life, stunned silent. Leonard looked back and forth between the two, the tension was heavy, and he was smart enough to know that he needed to keep his mouth shut. Penny was about to speak when she noticed the change in Haley's body language.

"Your stupid Halo game was more important than Haley. She knows that you never wanted this responsibility. She played the martyr for your happiness."

Hurt and frustration coursed through his body as he looked down at Haley, who wasn't even herself anymore. "That is simply not true. I always wanted you here…I can not help that I failed to notice that something was going on. You made sure of that…"

"We had no choice, we knew that if you had found out it would have distracted you from your work towards a Noble Peace Prize. We didn't want to bring you down with us. So we became the puppet master. We told you what you wanted to hear…"she paused "Riddle us this, if our mother was still alive would you have even cared what happened to us? We would have been as meaningless to you as Missy and George are…"

Leonard mouthed a big "wow…" to Penny, not believing what he was hearing.

Sheldon's eye twitched as she had him in his place. He couldn't lie, he knew she was right. If there would have been no accident, he would have gone blissfully onward with his life, not really caring anything about this sister who was born after he had been gone for years. He would have known nothing about her. "That's not the point. Our mother is gone, and she chose me to care for you. It makes no sense going on with these silly what-if's."

"But it does, and the truth comes out finally." She backed away from him and rested against the door.

"No, you misinterpreted what I meant…" He began as he took a few steps closer to her, placing his hands on her shoulders.

"No, get back!" She screeched. "Leave me alone…" She slipped out of his grasp and ran for her room, slamming the door behind her.

Penny saw how hurt Sheldon looked from his sister rejecting him, so she walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his middle. "Sheldon, don't listen, it was the alcohol talking... I know that from experience.…she didn't mean it, part of that…it wasn't even her…let her cool down…a lot has happened today…"

He looked down at her and nodded.

Leonard spoke finally "I'll go talk to her…" as he got up and went to Haley's room knocking on the door.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"Haley, it's Leonard…please let me come in…I need to talk to you.."

The door opened and Haley looked up at him, her eyes were drowning in tears. She walked back to her bed and threw herself down onto it, burying her face.

Leonard shut the door behind him and walked over to the bed, sitting down next to her. "I think you hurt Sheldon's feelings. I know that may be hard to believe but he does have them."

"I know I didn't mean it, it just came out…I couldn't help it. I know I did something bad from the look on Sheldon's face, but I don't remember.." She cried in a muffled voice.

"Do you think its true? That he regrets everything, because I can tell you this, he doesn't."

Haley rose up from her laying position and sat up, bringing her legs to her chest; wrapping her arms around them. "He would have been happier without me here…"

Leonard shook his head "Yes, he probably have been very different had your mom still been here, and you were in Texas, but everything happens for a reason. I've known your brother for years, and before you came, he was the most arrogant, insensitive, self centered person I had ever met. You couldn't even shake his hand without him running for a bottle of purex afterwards."

Haley looked at him confused "He's still like that…"

"But not to you. Sheldon has always had this bubble around him that no one was allowed to cross into. The fact that he expanded that bubble to include you in it. Well, that says a whole lot."

"It's not like he had a choice…"

Leonard laughed "Of course he did. It was you who was the catalyst in the changes for him. You were the one who showed him he wasn't as Homo Novus as he claimed to be. You brought out the human in him…"

"I'm sorry…" She choked. "I didn't mean to…"

"Why are you apologizing? You're the best thing that could have happened to him…"

Haley was silent for a few minutes before she spoke "I don't want to go to school tomorrow…"

Leonard looked at her "Because of everything that happened today?"

Haley nodded "Hannah hates me, by tomorrow the whole school will know…I don't know if I could do it…face all those people…"

Leonard leaned forward and hugged her tightly. "It will be ok Hal. You're talking to someone who has had a lot of experience with being an outcast. It gets better."

"You were an outcast because you were smart…not because…you know." She looked down at her fidgeting hands "I don't want them staring at me…"

"It will get better. I promise. You don't have to worry about that guy ever hurting you again…that's the most important thing…" He ruffled her hair and released her, standing up. "You should get to bed. It's pretty late…"

"Alright.." She said in a small voice as she looked down at her hands. "Hey Leonard…"

He turned around to look at her "Yeah?"

"Are you always supposed to feel hope?"

That made him walk back over to her "You don't feel hope?"

She shook her head "I haven't for a long time…"

He sat back down "Do you want to talk about it?"

She shrugged and sat there focusing on her fidgeting hands. "Remember that one time I fell off the roof of Howard's garage and broke my arm and ankle. I said I was looking for my ball that I threw up there and slipped?"

He looked at her carefully, wondering what she was getting at, but something told him he already knew. "Yeah, you were ten…"

"I lied…I jumped. I wanted to see what it felt like…"

"What?"

"To let go…"

"Have you ever told Sheldon this before?" He couldn't conceal the worry in his voice.

"No, I didn't want to worry him…so I lied. I don't know how to talk to him, about this stuff…he won't understand…"

"Maybe if you word it the right way…he will."

0000

An hour later Haley emerged from her room with the blue electric guitar bought for her earlier that week, and walked into the living room where Sheldon sat in his pajama's at his desk typing away quickly. He heard the creak in the floorboards and turned his chair to see her standing there. "Hello…" he said in a cool voice that made her flinch.

She brushed a piece of stray her behind her ear and shifted in place. "I'm sorry for what I said earlier…I didn't mean it…"

"I think you did…" he turned back to his computer screen.

"It's hard…" her voice rose slightly "Talking about what's going on inside my head. I don't understand a lot of what's there myself…"

"Why ever is that?" His eyes remained glued to the computer as he typed away.

"Because, you always want answers and explanations…I don't have any…Leonard told me what I said…but I don't remember saying that stuff…"

Sheldon looked down at the keyboard "I know you didn't. It was one of the other personalities, but it was still subconsciously your true beliefs…" He swiveled the chair once again to look at her "You pushed me away…told me to leave you alone."

Haley looked around the room uncomfortably. "Can I play you something?"

"I'm not sure I understand. You mean a musical piece?"

Haley nodded "Yeah, I've been working on the chords for a while whenever I went to Lexi's."

"What does playing me a song have anything to do with what we are discussing?"

"Kind of everything. It's kind of the only way I can tell you what's going on in my head. What has been for years…"

He thought about it for a minute before nodding "Very well, though you know I'm not a keen fan of the musical arts…"

"I know…" She sighed as she sat down in the chair and plugged the guitar up to the amp that was already there from when she was practiced last time, a few days ago. He sat there quietly, waiting for her to begin. She started playing a slow, sad melody then started to sing

"_I have nothing left to give. I have found the perfect end. You were made to make it hurt. Disappear into the dirt. Carry me to heaven's arms. Light the way and let me go. _

_Take the time to take my breath. I will end where I began…" _

Sheldon shifted in his seat slightly as he listened to the words she sung, his eyes watching her hands move up and down the chords. Haley focused her attention on the song, and her hands as they played. She was afraid to look up.

"_And I will find the enemy within, Cause I can feel it crawl beneath my skin. Dear Agony Just let go of me. Suffer slowly. Is this the way it's gotta be? Dear agony…"_

It was uncomfortable for him to watch her singing this song. The emotion that came through in her voice, was overwhelming. She had chosen the song wisely, to tell him what she couldn't say.

"_Suddenly, The lights go out. Let forever Drag me down. I will fight for one last breath. I will fight until the end. And I will find the enemy within, cause I can feel it crawl beneath my skin. Dear Agony Just let go of me. Suffer slowly, Is this the way it's gotta be? Don't bury me, Faceless enemy. I'm so sorry. Is this the way it's gotta be? Dear agony…"_

He noticed that her hands started to shake, but she didn't miss a note. Sheldon leaned forward, wanting to reach out to her, to hold her, comfort her, tell her its going to be alright. She removed her eyes from the chords and gazed up towards the ceiling, as if speaking to the God he didn't believe in. In truth it was the fact that she couldn't look at him in fear that she wouldn't be able to continue. "_Leave me alone. God let me go. I'm blue and cold, Black sky will burn. Love pull me down, Hate lift me up. JUST TURN AROUND! There's nothing left. Somewhere far beyond this world I feel nothing anymore._

_Dear Agony Just let go of me. Suffer slowly, Is this the way it's gotta be? Don't bury me, Faceless enemy. I'm so sorry. Is this the way it's gotta be? Dear agony…I feel nothing anymore…" _She played the last few notes of the song, and stopped, setting the guitar down beside her.

"That's how you feel?" He said after a few minutes of letting the words sink in. '_Just turn around, there's nothing left? Why would she think that…' _

_"_All the time…"

"It's over now. He can't hurt you anymore…why sing a song, that implies you are going to die?"

"I was prepared for the end…I am prepared for the end…" She corrected herself. "Why does part of me wishes this would have played out differently? I wish that he would have just killed me…he might be going to jail, but where does that leave me?"

"Safe…Haley please don't talk like that…" He pleaded as he got up from his computer chair and walked to where she sat, kneeling down in front of her.

"I'm sorry Sheldon, I can't help what I feel…" A few tears began to fall down her cheeks, "I don't even know who I am anymore…who I'm going to wake up tomorrow as…myself or Cassie…or that other one…I don't know…maybe I just want to exit this world before I completely lose it all…"

Her words perplexed him, for a child so young to have such deep feelings about death and dying. It also saddened him, he couldn't imagine a life now without her. Not because of the sudden shift in his routine it would create, but if this little girl, who he grew to love and adore as if she were his own were to suddenly cease to exist, it was something he couldn't bear. "You know I would find myself very disconsolate, if anything were to happen to you. I have already discussed how important you are to me."

"I see myself crashing and destroying, but I can't stop it…"

"Then I will. I'm unimaginably frustrated that I can not take away the pain you have endured, but I will always be here for you. Let me help you, Haley. Please?"

She nodded slowly "I'll try…"

Sheldon rose from his knees and walked over to the couch, sitting in his spot. He patted the unoccupied space beside him, and Haley got up from the chair and went to sit next to him. He could tell she was nervous, by the way she focused her attention on playing with the drawstrings of her pajama bottoms, though he failed to see reason as to why. One thing loomed in his mind that he knew he had to ask "I know we have discussed your thoughts of suicide, but tell me, and be honest…have you ever attempted it before?"

Haley was waiting for this question. She knew that it would pop up sooner than later, so she braced herself to finally come clean. "The first time…I was ten, when I jumped off Howard's garage…"

He turned to look at her, not showing any facial signs of surprise or shock. He kept those in check "You said you lost your ball…"

"I did…but when I got up there…I just wanted the voice to stop, and he said jump, so I did…"

"Who told you to jump?"

"The guy inside my head…" She paused "I know I have two other personalities…but I never hear them, until recently…I've heard him though…for as long as I can remember…"

He sat there with an expression of deep concentration that masked the actual turmoil he felt. He extended an arm and pulled her closer to his side in a hug of a sorts. "I apologize deeply, for failing to notice the small details that now seem very clear and logical to me…"

"Yeah, well I'm sorry I turned into a pathological liar…"

"I guess everyone has flaws…myself included…" he couldn't help the twitch of his eye at that sentence.

"I have a random question…" Haley said suddenly turning herself so she was staring at him.

"Oh whatever may it be.." He said with a sigh.

"Why do you guys always call me Hal? I mean yeah I know it's the first three letters of my first name, but it's not like you say it "Hail" but Hal…"

Sheldon let out a breathy laugh "It was Howard who started it. You liked to wear your Green Lantern shirt all the time when you were little. Howard thought it fit since the Green Lantern's real name was Hal Jordan…Hal…Haley…It seemed to stick…"

Haley just shook her head and laughed "Oh yeah, I remember I wanted to be just like you."

"It was rather flattering…Penny once said that you were for lack of a better choice of words on her behalf, a "daddy's girl."

"I guess I was in a sense…." She thought about it and picked up the remote, turning on the television. "Weird…"

"Indeed…" He replied in response.

**(The lyrics used for the song Haley was listening to is 'Playing God' by Paramore. The lyrics to the song sung is "Dear Agony" by Breaking Benjamin) **


	25. Into the nothing

**(Updated version of chapter twenty-five) **

**(I can't believe I finally finished this! Sorry you guys for the long delay! I was having difficulties getting my thoughts together, that and I just started taking some medicine to stop smoking and it has some brutal side effects. Anyways, I hope it's up to your liking!) **

**Chapter Twenty-five: "Into The Nothing"**

_Screaming on the inside I am frail and withered_  
><em>Cover up the wounds<em>  
><em>That I can't hide<em>  
><em>Walls that lie between us<em>  
><em>The saint within the sinner<em>  
><em>I have lost the nerve<em>  
><em>But it's all right<em>  
><em>Carry the wounded and shut your eyes<em>  
><em>All will be forgiven<em>  
><em>None will rise<em>  
><em>Bury the fallen and lead the blind<em>  
><em>I will fight the loss<em>  
><em>Dead inside<em>  
><em>Into the nothing<em>  
><em>Faded and weary I won't leave and let you fall behind<em>  
><em>Live for the dying<em>  
><em>Heaven hear me<em>  
><em>I know we can make it out alive<em>

~ Breaking Benjamin

_**Five years ago**_

_October 31__st__ 2009_

_Penny walked across the hall with a bounce in her step that day. It was Halloween and she had decided to throw a party. She wasn't too sure at first, but after Amy's constant begging that she never went to a wild costume party, or any kind of normal party growing up or beyond, Penny couldn't say no to her. The next step, was inviting the boys. The last Halloween party she had thrown had went ok in her mind. Raj had got laid, and she had given Leonard a drunken kiss (well that was after Kurt had publicly embarrassed him). _

_She knocked on the door a couple times before Sheldon answered the door with a look of dismay on his face. She smirked at him "Why so glum chum?" _

"_If you are referring to my non amused expression, Leonard had to run somewhere which leaves me to take Haley trick or treating…" _

"_So? What's the problem?" She walked in and went to the couch sitting down. _

_Sheldon looked at her with a face of shock and distain "What's the problem? I'll tell you what the problem is. Having to walk around the neighborhood, knocking on people's doors, and getting candy from complete strangers. One of whom may have some contagious disease, their hands infecting the candy they give out." He shuddered at the thought. _

"_You went trick or treating when you were younger, so what is the difference?" She eyed him._

"_Galveston was a smaller town…besides my mom only allowed us to trick or treat at the houses we knew…and I wore gloves when taking off the candy wrappers." _

_Penny just shook her head _'whack-a-doodle'. "_Why do you care now? She's been going trick or treating around here for years with Leonard, Raj and Howard…"_

"_Because I have to witness it." He sighed "Last time I tried to get her to at least let me disinfect her candy, she bit me…" _

_Penny laughed _'that's my girl…' _"Stop being such a baby, its no big deal."_

"_That's what you say now, until we all catch some unknown plague from the bacteria swarming all over those candy wrappers…" _

"_Anyways…" Penny now getting annoyed "I came over to invite you guys to my Halloween party tonight." _

_Sheldon looked at her with a frown "Oh, no…not another one of those parties…"_

"_Amy asked me to throw one, so I'm doing her a favor, and since you're her boyfriend you have to come…"_

"_She is not my girlfriend. She is a girl and a friend, but certainly not a girlfriend!" _

"_Alright whatever! You still have to come."_

"_Do not, do not!" He argued back in a childish manner. _

"_Well I'm sure Hal's going to want to come over for a bit. She said she wanted to show me her costume. I'm sure you want to keep a close eye on her that she steers clear of unwanted germs…" _

_Sheldon's eye twitched as he glared at her. She knew she had won the battle. He was such a germophobe, and the fact that Haley's immune system was just as frail as his was when he was a kid, it made her prone to catching lots of sicknesses. Sicknesses that she in turn could give to him, which at times was the case. "Fine. I will come." _

"_I knew you would" She grinned, glancing around the apartment she noticed a lack of noise "Where is Hal?" _

"_She's been in the bathroom for an hour. Another reason for my mood. It's already 4:45...trick or treating started at 4:30…I have knocked on the door five different times and she keeps saying she's not ready…" His hands flew up in frustration. "I do not see what could possibly take so long…I bought her a super girl costume…" _

"Poor kid, can't even pick out her own costume.." _She thought but just simply shrugged "I guess I'll go check on her." She got up and walked to the bathroom, knocking on the door. _

"_I said I'm not ready yet Sheldon!" Haley yelled from behind the closed door._

"_It's Penny, do you need help getting your cape on or something?" She looked over to Sheldon who now stood in the hallway looking at her expectantly, and just shrugged her shoulders. _

_The door opened a crack and Haley hand reached out and grabbed Penny's arm, pulling her into the bathroom with her slamming the door. Sheldon stood there confused. _

"_Haley, what's…" she turned around to look at Haley who stood, leaned against the door. Her mouth dropped "Oh my God…you cut your hair!" _

"_Shhh" Haley hissed putting a small hand over Penny's mouth. Penny took her hand gently and put it down at her side. Haley's hair which used to flow all the way down her back in long beautiful curls, was now just a couple inches above her shoulders in a wavy mess. "Sweetie, I don't think Sheldon is going to be too happy about this…" _

"_I was just going to see how I looked with short hair…" She shrugged as she brushed a piece off the blue and white dress she was wearing, that definitely was not a super-girl costume. _

"_Well we need to brush it first… you cut it fairly well…" She grabbed the scissors on the sink and motioned for her to sit down on the toilet "Let me just trim a little of this so it's even all around…" _

_Haley sat there quietly while Penny cut a few remaining long pieces of hair and tried her best to make it all one length which was difficult for her personally to do on dry, naturally curly hair. _

"_Sheldon said you were going to be super-girl…" Penny spoke finally, trying to start a conversation with the obviously nervous child. _

"_I didn't want to be super-girl…I saw this costume when I was shopping with Bernie…I wanted it…so she bought it for me." The look she gave Penny almost made her heart break. It was a look of shame and feeling like you betrayed someone. _

_Penny smiled at her and looked down at the costume. "Well I think you make a very pretty Alice…"_

"_Really?" _

"_Of course." She put down the scissors and picked up the brush, setting to work on the child's unruly hair at that moment. That was when the succession of knocks started. _

_Knock knock knock_

"_Penny and Haley"_

_Knock knock knock_

"_Penny and Haley" _

_Knock knock knock _

"_Penny and Haley…"_

_Penny rolled her eyes and she grabbed a spray bottle full of water, and dampened her hair in attempts to get her hair to curl. "Come in Sheldon" _

"_It is exactly 5:25...I just thought I would…" He stopped in mid sentence as he stared at Penny and Haley bewildered. "What have you done to your hair?" _

"_She cut it…I'm trying to fix it. It's fine." Penny said._

"_I was bored…I wanted to cut it…" Haley squeaked. _

"_You were bored? That's no excuse…and where is your super-girl costume? Certainly your not going as a character from an overused piece of literature…" He crossed his arms over his chest and looked at her calmly. _

_Haley's face fell at his words and she grabbed the hairbrush from Penny and threw it into the sink. She then wretched herself from Penny, walked up to Sheldon, kicked him in the shin and ran into her room slamming the door. _

_Sheldon let out a yelp of pain and jumped up and down "Owwie owwie owwie, why on earth did she do that?" _

_Penny glared at him "Because you hurt her feelings you moron…"_

"_I did no such thing. I was simply stating my opinion on the book…"_

"_You pretty much called it stupid, and by doing so called her stupid because she wanted to be Alice. For being one of those beautiful mind genius guys…your pretty moronic at times…" Penny shook her head. _

"_I didn't think of that…" He paused for a moment. His eyes went wide with realization "Oh dear…I have to talk to her…" He walked out of the bathroom, to Haley's room._

_Knock knock knock_

"_Haley…"_

_Knock knock knock_

"_Haley…" _

_Before he could finish the third set of knocks he heard Haley yell from the other side of the door "Leave me alone. I don't want to go trick or treating anymore…" _

_Out of habit he knocked three times "Haley…" When she didn't answer, he let himself in to find her laying facedown in her pillow. He walked over to the bed and sat down beside her. "Haley, I would like to…apologize for what I said. The costume you are wearing suits you…" _

_Haley rolled over onto her back and looked at him "You said it was overused…you think I look stupid…" she quickly wiped away a few tears with the back of her hand. _

"_I should not have said that. Super-girl is also an overused costume idea…" he ran a hand through her hair. "You make an exceptional Alice, from Alice in Wonderland…" _

"_Exceptional?" Haley gave him a look that told him that exceptional wasn't the word she was wanting to hear. _'What is the best way to get an eight year old to stop crying if you unintentionally offended her?" _He thought to himself, but then remembered what Penny had told him years before, when he had made a similar mistake. "_Little girls want to be told their princesses and they look beautiful. I mean at least I know I did when I was Haley's age, and she's not really that different than how I used to be."

"_What I meant to say is you make a very beautiful Alice, from Alice and her adventures in Wonderland." He was relieved when he actually saw her grin and not give him a kick in the ribs. _

"_really? Are you just lying to me?" She sat up and bore her eyes into him. _

"_You know I can not lie. Of course you are beautiful, you're the spitting image of Meemaw…" He trailed off, and turned to look straight at the wall quietly. It wasn't very often that their grandmother was brought up in conversation, or their mother for that matter. It often brought back painful memories and a hurt that Sheldon tried to bury. For Haley, she might have been young but her little mind had always swarmed with one question. _

"_Hey Sheldon…" _

_He turned his head back to look down at her. "Yes?" _

"_Why didn't I die too?" _

_Sheldon blinked a few times, baffled by the words that had come from her mouth. Sure, she said a lot of random things, but this was a first. "I'm not quite sure, by the state of the vehicle, you shouldn't have, but you survived without hardly a wound on you…" _

"_Bernie said that God has a reason for everything and a purpose for everyone…She said God has plans for me, that's why I'm still here.." _

_Sheldon's eye twitched, "That wouldn't be my conclusion…or belief for that matter."_

"_I know. You don't believe in God.."_

"_It's rubbish, nothing but hokum…" _

"_Ok." Was all she said, and slipped out of the bed. "I'm ready to go now.." _

_Sheldon got up himself and grabbed a hold of her little hand "Very well, it's 5:45, I'm afraid we only have two hours and fifteen minutes to trick or treat…" _

"_It's ok. I'm fast." _

_Penny watched as the two of them left, and couldn't help but smile. '_If he wasn't completely insane, he'd make a great family man.'

0000

Beverly waited in the living room with Sheldon, and the rest of the group for Haley to come home from school that day. It was the first group session in order to help the others understand, and voice their feelings about everything. It was pretty unconventional, but the fact that they all played major parts in Haley's life, it seemed necessary.

"How has she been the past few days? Any changes in her behavior?" Beverly turned to look at Sheldon, but she was really speaking to all of them.

"She stays in her room a lot…" Leonard answered his mother.

"She comes home from school rather quiet…she's normally well for lack of better words an obnoxious loudmouth."

"Has any of her other personalities showed themselves lately?"

"Yes, unfortunately its been happening quite often…" Sheldon said, looking down at his hands.

"That must be really hard for you, for all of you…to see her as someone else…" Beverly spoke sympathetically.

"It is…" Bernadette spoke this time. "I can't imagine what she feels…but I can see the pain in her eyes. The way she pushes herself to get through each day…"

"I'm amazed personally…" Amy began "At the fact that it took five years…for her to break. For someone as young as Haley…I know I would have never been able to. Of course the mind is a complex thing. In order to survive what she was going through…numerous personalities were created…" She was chewing on her thumb nail with a look of sadness on her face. "I remember when I first met her. she was eight and the most jovial, and rambunctious child I have ever encountered…and then, she slowly started to change…I just don't see how someone can do that to a little girl…" She wiped away a stray tear that ran down her cheek. Penny scooted close to Amy and put an arm around her.

"I know it's hard to comprehend it. I, myself often can't wrap my mind around it. Of course I know statistics, and how the brain functions, but why a grown man would feel the need to force a child to perform such lewd acts…There is no excuse…in my opinion." Beverly said in a solemn voice. Leonard looked at his mother, and almost bewilderment. For her to show any type of emotion was a miracle to him. '_Maybe I was wrong…she might be able to help her…' _

"She'll get through this…she's strong." Raj tried to reassure them. They all looked hopeful except Sheldon, who sat there for the past few minutes quietly; his arms crossed over his chest. "Then why do I feel that she is slipping away…."

"why do you say that Sheldon?" Beverly looked at him, her pen ready to write.

"She played me a song a couple days ago in an attempt to tell me how she feels…"

"What was the song about?"

"The song was about a dying person who was tired of the pain they have been enduring so for long, that they were begging for the end to come…" He stopped for a moment and moved awkwardly in his seat. "Then she told me she wanted to end her life."

Before any of them could say anything, the door opened and Haley walked in. She had dark rings under her eyes, like she hadn't slept in days. On top of that it was obvious she had been crying. She looked at them in confusion "What is this?"

Beverly looked up at Haley "It's a group therapy session. We talked about this, remember?"

"I didn't know it was going to be today…" She mumbled wearily, as she removed her backpack, setting it on the floor, next to Leonard's desk. She then sat down in his computer chair and stared at them. "Alright, I'm here…now what?"

"Well we were just discussing everyone's feelings about everything that has happened. I think the real question is, how are you feeling?"

Haley was spinning in the chair slowly at that point. "I'm fine…"

"Have you been sleeping?"

She laughed "What's sleep?" The others looked uncomfortably at one another.

Beverly nodded and wrote a few notes on her pad. "Have you had any lapses in your memory since we last talked?"

"You mean have I become Cassie or Tink or whatever other personality that might be lurking inside of me?"

"Yes."

"Well yesterday, I found myself making out with some dude from the skate park, and I don't remember how it even happened…" She ran a hand through her hair and leaned forward putting her head in her hands. "Apparently I've done it often…" _'Of course you have...'_

"Did it go further than making out?" Penny asked, breaking the silence from the others as they listened to Haley and Beverly talk.

Haley looked up at Penny with watery eyes, and gave a quick nod. "And I initiated it…He's friggin 18 and I initiated it…"

Sheldon tried to breath as he listened to her confession. It was enough to make him ill. The fact that she didn't remember participating in these activities was even more worrisome.

"Do you know the boy?" Beverly asked.

"Well, yeah…I've known him since I was like ten when I first started going to the skate park. I always had a crush on him, but I never talked to him…at least I didn't think I did…till yesterday…" She squirmed in the computer chair nervously "Can we please change the subject?" She begged. _'Don't want to tell them why you were attracted to him? Reminds you of someone...doesn't he?" _

_"Shut up" _Haley willed the voice into silence.

Her mind was starting already to drift to a place she didn't want to go.

"I'd like to say something…" Howard suddenly spoke, turning all eyes on him. "Hal…I wanted to say, that I'm sorry…I don't see how I didn't put the pieces together…that day at the university…and I didn't notice…it was in my damn lab…I didn't even notice…"

Haley looked at him wide eyed "Howie, It wasn't your fault, or anyone's. It was going on long before the Caltech incident."

"I know, but it still has been bugging me…" His voice was mournful.

Haley smiled "Don't worry about it." Her mind was already starting to drift back to that day.

0000

_Haley walked nervously down the long hallway, headed towards the engineering lab like she was ordered to. She walked in to find Aaron standing there with his arms across his chest- waiting. _

_"You think you were gonna leave me hanging after last night?" _

_Haley looked at him in fake confusion "What are you talking about?" _

_He was quick with his movements. Before she could register what was happening he had her cornered. Snaking one arm around her waist he pulled her close. "Don't play games with me Haley. I know you remember kissing me. What we did." He whispered into her ear, before planting a kiss on her neck. At that Haley's mind began to signal danger. She tried to slip out from his hold but he was too strong. _

_"I didn't mean it...it was a mistake ...I don't...I can't..." Haley blurted out frantically. _

_He grabbed her by the wrist and led her into the men's bathroom, locking the door behind them. That was when he turned on her with narrowed eyes "You can't? "_

_Haley shook her head "No. If my brother ever found out..." She soon found out it was a mistake to tell Aaron this. His face was full of rage as he twisted her arm behind her back, in submission. "Why do you make me hurt you Haley? I love you so much, and i don't care who knows it. Yet, you...you're ashamed of how you feel. You fight me...just to justify it in your head that your mind and heart doesnt belong to me." Aaron twisted her arm more making her cry out in pain. He quickly covered her mouth with his hand. "Just accept the truth Haley.." _

_Everything else seemed to blur together after that. The way he grabbed her to him and forced her to kiss him. Pushing her into the door and holding her there, while she watched from a safe distance. The cries that were muffled. _

_0000_

Beverly was the first one to notice the change, as Haley slid down from the chair onto the floor, wrapping her arms around her legs as she started to cry two sets of tears. Penny got up and walked over to Haley, kneeling down and putting a hand on her shoulder. As soon as Penny's hand touched Haley's shirt, she let out the most horrifying howl they had ever heard. Penny quickly withdrew her hand as Haley scrambled backwards to get away from her.

Beverly noticed the terrified expressions on everyone's face, except Sheldon who buried his face in his hands to conceal his tears.

'_The howling screams of a wounded, dying animal…could only be one personality…' _Beverly thought. "Tink…"

Penny went back to her seat, looking stricken. Bernadette gave her a comforting hug.

Haley continued to scream, as she lay there huddled on the floor. No one knew what to do, they didn't want to touch her. Penny's touch had caused the reaction they were now witnessing.

Sheldon couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't stay away. Those cries reminded him of when she was hurt and scared as a little girl. He ran over to her and kneeled down in front of her "Shhh…it's alright." He placed a hand on her shoulder, and was relieved when she didn't freak out and move away from him. He took that as a cue, and scooped her up off the floor into his arms, standing to his feet. Haley wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face into his shirt, Her cries muffled "I apologize, but I must call an end to this session. This was too much for her right now."

Beverly nodded "I understand. This is a good stopping point for today."

Sheldon disappeared down the hall with Haley. The others looked around at each other.

"My God, what the hell was that?" Leonard choked.

"That was Tink…Haley's third personality…" Beverly answered her son.

"That was the most horrifying sound…I ever heard…" Amy said quietly.

"It sounded like an animal dying in pain…" Raj shuddered.

0000

**Two weeks later**

Sheldon and Leonard ascended the stairs after work, it was anything can happen Thursday, so it was up in the air as to what they will be doing. They were welcomed to the fourth floor by the sound of singing.

"_I'm a blond bombshell and I wear it well. You're momma says you go straight to hell._

_I'm sweet sixteen and a rebel queen. I look real hot in my tight blue jeans. _

_Dead end kids in the danger zone. All of you are drunk or stoned. Dead end kids you're not alone_

_You sleep on the street when you're not at home" _

"Oh what is that infernal caterwauling…"Sheldon complained as they turned the corner. Leonard smirked "Sounds like its coming from our apartment…"

Sheldon hung his head "My sister is a hippie…where have I gone wrong?"

"_I got away clean with my fake ID. No more school or mommy for me. _

_Stealing cars and breaking hearts. Pills and thrills and acting smart._

_ Dead end kids in the danger zoneAll of you are drunk or stoned. _

_Dead end kids you're not alone. You sleep in the street when you're not at home…"_

"Hippie? I don't think so…there's nothing peaceful about that song. I'd say their rockers…" Leonard just shook his head trying to contain his laughter. It was almost like karma was kicking his whack-a-doodle of a roommates' ass, the look was clear on Sheldon's face when they opened the door to see Haley and Lexi jumping and dancing around the apartment. The two didn't notice Sheldon and Leonard come in, shutting the door behind them, as they went back and forth acting out some strange scene.

_Haley "Where am I?" _

_Lexi: "Your in a cheap run down teenage jail that's where"_

_Haley "Oh my god!" _

_Lexi: "Yeah blondie your gonna be here till your 18 so get used to it." _

_Haley: Behind the bars, there's a superstar, who never had a chance. She could sing, she could dance."_

_Lexi: "You don't sing and dance in juvie honey"_

Sheldon walked over to the stereo and turned it off, causing the girls to snap out of their musical trance. "Hey…" Haley complained "We were getting to the good part!"

"Singing about a juvenile detention facility…sounds wonderful." He gave her a look. "bazinga…Its not."

Haley rolled her eyes and sat down on the couch. "Just wait till I'm a famous rock star"

Sheldon let out a laugh "Oh you're cute. Do you think I would actually let you live a life of sex drugs and rock and roll? Over my dead body."

Leonard shook his head "Dream killer…"

Haley let out a loud groan "Anyways…" She walked over to Sheldon who had made himself comfortable at his computer desk.

"Hey Sheldon…" She began in her most innocent and sweet voice she could possibly muster.

"Oh Lord…I know that tone…that's the 'Can I have fifty bucks' or 'Can I go somewhere that costs money' voice."

"I was just wondering if I could go to an ICP concert with Lexi next week. Please please! Lexi doesn't want to go alone and I haven't want anywhere in a couple weeks!"

"What does I.C.P. stand for exactly?" He looked at her.

"ICP is a band…kinda…" Lexi spoke from the other side of the room "Insane Clown Posse…their like my favorite group, and I didn't want to go to the gathering of the juggalo's alone…so I wanted Hal to go…I already got the tickets so you don't have to pay…"

Sheldon put his head in a hand trying to decipher exactly what nonsense she was trying to tell him. "A gathering of Juggalo's? Is that even a word?"

"Yes…I mean its on the urban dictionarywebsite …." Haley said with a smile and shrug.

Sheldon sighed loudly and pulled up Google, the results he got for "Juggalo" made him cringe. " All I gather from this is that they are a clown gang, who says 'whoop whoop' a lot and likes drinking faygo soft drinks?"

"We're not a gang, we're a family that has each others backs no matter what. I'm a juggalette and proud of it." Lexi said in defense.

Leonard concealed his laughter. Things had definitely changed since he was a kid, then again maybe it was just him and his friends. When kids were into bands and partying, they were studying, or in Sheldon's case, working on a college degree.

"A family?" Sheldon looked utterly perplexed at her wording. He guessed this was some sort of social convention that he lacked understanding of. Why call someone 'family' when you are not blood related? It was almost as ridiculous to him as it was when his father would say that so and so was his cousin, despite the fact that genetically they weren't.

"Yup." Lexi said crossing her arms over her chest.

"Interesting…" He then turned to Haley "No."

"Come on…" Haley gave him those big puppy dog eyes. "PLEASE! What if Raj were to take us? Can I go then?"

Leonard laughed out loud "Raj, at one of those concerts? He wouldn't do it"

"Actually he already said he would" Haley turned to looked at Leonard with a glare. "but it has to be alright with you…" She turned back to her brother. "Please!"

"If Raj goes, I guess it will be alright." He already had a feeling he was going to regret this.

**(Song - Dead End Justice by The runaways) **


	26. What is a Juggalo?

**(Updated)**

**(So, Haley and Lexi are going to a ICP concert, I think the question many may have is…What is a Juggalo? Well hopefully the lyrics to this song of theirs will help with that! Haha! Anyways I've been fixing and reworking a few of the chapters so everything is more correct time wise. I must have been on crack cause I noticed that some of the times definitely don't add up! Sorry peeps! I'm going to be fixing it! I also added some pictures of the created characters in the story. I didn't draw them or anything, I have no talent for drawing! They are just actors that popped into my head when creating the characters.**** If you want to view them go to my profile page since i can't seem to figure out how to put the links on here.)**

Chapter twenty-six: What is a Juggalo?

_What is a juggalo?_

_He drinks like a fish_

_And then he starts huggin people_

_Like a drunk bitch_

_Next thing, he's pickin fights_

_With his best friends_

_Then he starts with the huggin again_

_Fuck!_

_What is a juggalo? A juggalo that's what it is_

_Well, fuck, if I know_

_What is a juggalo?I don't know_

_But I'm down with the clown_

_And I'm down for life, yo_

~Insane Clown Posse

_**Seven and a half years ago…**_

"_But I want to go swing on the swings…" Haley whined as she followed Sheldon and the guys through the park to spot where they play kite wars. _

"_We're are going to be engaging in a kite war, there will be no time…" Sheldon answered her shortly. After six months he still had problems realizing that when you had a child, they often came first. He was making progress, but it was at a snails pace. Haley sat down in the grass and looked over at the playground sadly, placing her pail and shovel beside her. _

"_Dude don't you think that's a little cruel?" Raj looked at him._

_Sheldon turned to stare at him in complete confusion. "How is what cruel?" _

"_You take a five year old to a park, yet tell her she is not allowed to play on the swings. It's like taking a kid to a candy store and telling them they can only look at the wondrous treats but can't buy any…" _

_Sheldon made an annoyed face "We will be consumed by our kite war, how can we keep an eye on her at the park, which is over a 765 feet away from where we are. Besides…playgrounds are full of germs…I'm not going near that place.." _

_Howard looked at him and shook his head in disappointment. He then walked over to Haley and sat down next to her "Don't worry, when the kite war is done, I'll take you to the park." _

_Haley's eyes immediately lit up "Really? I can go?" _

"_You sure can. Just give me a half an hour ok?" _

_Sheldon's eye twitched as he watched Haley hug Howard. He didn't know why, but his stomach always tied into knots whenever he watched her with his friends. The way she laughed when Leonard would spin her around and throw her up into the air; when Raj would dance around the room with her to ridiculous songs from High School Musical and Hannah Montana; when Penny would turn into the "tickle monster" and chase after her, and when Howard would race her out the door to go to the park. She had a twinkle in her eyes around them that she never had when he was with her. It was a feeling he remembered getting when meemaw would spend time with George and Missy. '_She's MY sister, not theirs, yet she seems to enjoy their company more than mine…' _He thought with a bit of a childish pout, but quickly hid it as he cleared his throat "Very well. take her to the park afterwards." _

_It was Raj and Howard against Leonard and Sheldon, and like usual Sheldon's team was about to win. "They think they can outwit us, yet they fail to see that they have fell into our trap…" Sheldon gloated with glee, an evil smile across his face as his brows furrowed in concentration to bring the enemy to the ground. _

_Haley had picked every dandelion she could find within the area she was designated to, and now she was bored. She looked at her brother and his friends and pouted. They got to play, why couldn't she? Howard might have promised to take her after their little war, but if five minutes was an eternity to her- the forty-five minutes she had been sitting seemed like a lifetime and she couldn't remain still any longer. Looking over at Sheldon and Leonard, she knew they weren't even going to notice if she had slipped away for a few minutes… _

"_Rope burn, rope burn!" Sheldon yelped._

"_Quick Sheldon we got them!" Leonard yelled. They crossed their kite strings forming a scissor cut, making Howard's kite fall from the sky. _

"_Wasn't that cool Haley?" Leonard spoke, still looking up at the sky, watching the kite plummet. When she didn't answer him he turned around "Haley?" She was gone, along with her pail and shovel._

"_Shit!" He cussed aloud. Sheldon looked at him curiously. Leonard rolled his eyes annoyed "I told you she was going to run off to the park anyways. Did you listen? Of course not." _

_Sheldon stood there frozen in his tracks "But I told her she couldn't wander off anywhere unless one of us accompanies her…" _

"_She's five Sheldon, we've been having our war for over an hour, you really expect a child to sit that long?" _

_Sheldon was stumped at his question. "Well…I don't know. I'm a theoretical physicist, not a psychologist who specifies in child development…" _

_Howard and Raj walked over to them to see what the problem was. Howard knew immediately. "You lost the kid already, didn't you Sheldon?" _

"_I didn't lose her…she ran off somewhere…" He scoffed._

"_I'm going to the park to look for her…" Howard said starting to get worried. "For the record Sheldon, you might be a genius but you NEVER let a kid wander off on their own. Do you know how many children are kidnapped each year never to be seen again, or found dead in a ditch on the side of a road?" _

_There was an awkward silence at that moment. Raj and Leonard could only stare at disbelief at Howard. This was Howard Wolowitz, the weirdest, most biggest pervert they know. His life consisted of comic books, and trying desperately to get into girls' pants. What did he know about parenting? Obviously more than Sheldon. As he stood there speechless for a moment, they could see him playing horrible scenarios in his mind by the look on his face. "I…I knew that…" He mumbled and followed Leonard and Raj in the opposite direction from Howard to find the wandering girl. _

_Howard made his way to the playground to see it full of children. He glanced around looking for the black and yellow batman shirt, paired oddly enough with a green and black tutu that Haley was wearing that day. He immediately spotted her on the swing set. He walked over to her swing and got in front of it, stopping her in midair. "Haley Marie, do you know how worried we were?" _

_Haley looked at him with big puppy dog eyes and shook her head. _

"_You can't go running off like that baby girl, you're going to get lost…" _

"_I wanted to swing."_

"_I know, next time just ask ok?" _

_She nodded. "Can you play in the sand with me?" _

_He laughed "Why not? I just lost my kite to your brother. Not like I have anything else to do…" Howard picked her up off the swing and carried her over to the large sandbox where he set her down and sat himself. A very attractive women who was sitting on a bench was watching him closely. Howard knew this because he was Howard and he noticed all women. This was weird though, he never had a women check him out before. When she smiled at him, his heart nearly stop. _'Holy crap, she actually is checking ME out.' _Haley snapped him out of his fantasy by dumping a pile of sand onto his lap. "Hey! What was that for?" _

_Haley shrugged "I don't know…" _

_Howard stood up and shook off the sand "How about I sit over there and watch and you make me a castle?"_

_She thought for a moment before she grinned and nodded "Ok! I make you a big castle!" _

_Howard laughed and walked over to the bench where the lady was and sat down next to her. He didn't even get a chance to think of a pick-up line, since she was the one who spoke first. "You have a very beautiful daughter…" _

"_Oh, she's…." He began but stopped himself as he looked at Haley. _'Hmmm, what the hell." _"Yeah, she is…she takes after her mom…" He let out a loud dramatic sigh "It's a shame she never got to see her…" _

_The woman looked at him wide eyed "What happened?" _

_Howard laid the pity on real thick "She died in childbirth…it's just been me and her."_

"_That's horrible…" _

"_It's alright. It still hurts, but you have to move on. I had to in order to take care of this little one…"_

"_I really admire that." She smiled warmly "My name is Kristen…" _

_About ten minutes later, Howard and Haley headed back to the others, both with grins on their faces. Haley because she got to play like she wanted to, and Howard because he got a totally gorgeous women's phone number (not stealing it or stalking a facebook page for it either!). _"Man, chicks really dig the single dad thing. I could make this work…Haley could totally be my new wingman…" _He thought. The ideas just kept coming to him. _

_Sheldon saw Howard walking towards them with Haley in his arms. He breathed in relief. He regained his composure quickly and put on a stern face as they approached him. _

"_She was at the park, so I decided to stay and play in the sand with her…" Howard set Haley on the ground, but she remained planted on the spot, looking up at Sheldon, waiting for his speech of disapproval, though most of what he would say would just go over her head. _

"_Did you not hear a word I said? You were told to wait until our kite war was over and then Howard would accompany you to the playground…" He began the lecture. _

_Haley hide behind Howard and covered her ears. Sheldon noticed this and felt himself getting angry. In a few quick steps, Howard had moved aside and he was right in front of her, shaking her slightly by the shoulders. "Haley Marie! Now is not the time to be spacing out. Do you know how concerned I was for your well being?" _

"_I wanted to swing…" was all she said, keeping her eyes on her shoes. _

"_Sheldon give her a break, I told you that you shouldn't expect a five year old to sit for an hour doing nothing…" Leonard protested. _

"_It's called practicing control…" He looked at him with an expression of pure annoyance. He didn't understand why everyone was arguing with him. When he was Haley's age he'd sit for hours reading anything he could get his hands on. Missy would sit for hours playing with her Barbie dolls. Both twins hated to get dirty. Yet, it was quite obvious that the youngest Cooper was very different. _

"_You're impossible" Leonard threw his hands up in frustration and walked off "Come on, lets head back already…"_

"_I don't want to go, I still want to play…" She remained planted in the same spot, not budging. Sheldon looked down at her with a stern face "We're going home now. I have a lot of work to do. I do not have time for dilly-dallying." _

_She looked up at him with defiant eyes, and sat down on the ground, crossing her arms over her chest. An evil smirk came across her face "No." _

_Sheldon narrowed his eyes "Excuse me?" _

"_I said no. I want to play." _

'There's a way to solve this problem.' _He thought as he reached down and picked her up off the ground, kicking and screaming all the way back to Leonard's car. _

_The guys were enjoying the sight of Dr. Sheldon Cooper, fighting to get a five year old child in a car seat. As well as him covering his ears the entire drive home while she screamed and kicked his seat. _

"_Looks like your having a little trouble there Shelly…" Howard snickered from the backseat, as he picked up a stuffed bear from the floor and handed it to Haley. _

"_I am doing perfectly fine, and don't EVER call me Shelly…" He glared at him through the rear view mirror. _

"_If you want…I could take Haley off your hands for a while, I mean if you ever want a weekend or night of peace. She can always stay by my house." Howard suggested suddenly. What he was really thinking was '_This kid is my chick magnet!'

"_Take her tonight if you wish. I don't think I could deal with another minute of this…" He said with a wave of his hand, dismissing the sudden hurt expression on Haley's face. _

_Howard patted Haley's head gently and leaned close to her "Don't worry, we're going to have a lot of fun. No grumpy pant's Sheldon around…" _

_Haley put a hand over her mouth trying to hide her laugh._

"_I heard that…" Sheldon scoffed. _

_Haley looked at Howard seriously "Vulcan hearing…" _

_That night was complete bliss for Sheldon. He managed to finish the paper he was working on for weeks, play with his trains, and get a full eight hours of REM sleep. The next night though, he found it less enjoyable. The schedule he had to adapt to, was not necessary for the time being but it was now his routine. With that routine being interrupted and altered, he found himself at a loss. That night he got absolutely nothing accomplished, as well as no sleep what so ever. Sunday morning he found himself calling up Howard. _

"_Hey Sheldon, what's up?" _

"_Nothing is up. Everything has gone down hill since Friday…"_

"_I see…Scheduling problems?" _

_Sheldon pursed his lips in frustration, as he continued "Yes…you see it has taken months for me to get used to caring for Haley in my schedule…and with Haley not here…it is altering my schedule yet again and it will not do…When will you be bringing her back home?" _

_Howard sighed "I'll be bringing her home tonight. Ma's making brisket for Haley." He paused "You might want to talk to her when she comes home though." _

"_Why?" Sheldon asked confused._

"_You really hurt her feelings at the park on Friday…" _

"_I did no such thing…" Sheldon argued back. _

"_You said you couldn't take it anymore and you pawned her off on one of your friends. Don't get me wrong, I'll take her whenever you need me to, but the way you said it was just cruel." _

"_I was stating the truth. At that moment I couldn't deal with another minute of it, and I wished to be alone…how is that cruel?" _

"_Ok Sheldon, I'm only going to say this to you once, and maybe, hopefully it will get through that hard head of yours. You might talk that way to me, and to Leonard and Raj and even Penny, but you can't ever EVER talk like that to a small child. Bottom line, you hurt her feelings, you do it more often than you think. You're her guardian Sheldon, which pretty much means that you're dad to her now. Did you like it when your dad would put you down for being a genius? For not being athletic like your older brother?"_

_For the first time Howard had Sheldon speechless. Not to mention he actually sat down pondering and considering his words. "Well, no…of course I didn't like it… I do see the correlation though…and I will admit that my actions were wrong…"_

"_Well don't tell me this, you need to tell Haley, she's the one you hurt…" _

"_I will.." _

_Sheldon couldn't stop pacing back and forth, as he waited for Howard to bring Haley back. He hated apologizing and admitting he was wrong. That whole day after Howard had called him out on his recent actions, Sheldon found himself thinking back to his childhood. The way his father and older brother would tease and taunt him. George Jr. was his dad's favorite. He remembered being little and feeling left out and hurt when their dad would chose his brother over him for everything. How it hurt that his father thought he was a freak and kept him away. Was he treating Haley in the same manner by choosing to put his own wants and desires before anything else? This made him curious so he dialed up Leonard to ask his opinion. Normally he didn't give a rip what Leonard thought on anything, but he seemed to understand his sister better than he did. _

"_Hey buddy, you still going crazy over there?" _

"_I'm not going crazy, nor have I ever…my mom had me tested. I was calling to ask you, if perhaps you feel that I treat Haley…unfairly…" _

"_You mean how you constantly belittle her and ignore her unless its necessary? Don't get me wrong, you did a great job taking care of her a couple weeks ago when you had to take her to the hospital, but you can't just suddenly pay attention to her only when she's sick or hurt… "_

"_I…" He tried to think of an excuse or comeback that sounded logical, but nothing seemed to come to mind. "She is a part of our social group…I did not want to treat her any differently than I treat you and the others." _

"_I know I'm never going to hear the end of this once I say this to you, but have you ever read a book on child development?" _

"_I never had a need nor want to…why?" _

"_Um, because you are attempting to raise a developing and growing child, and you have no idea what so ever as to what you are doing…" _

""_I disagree with that…" Sheldon argued. _

"_I assumed you would…how about you read a couple books or articles on Harry Harlow as well as some on attachment theories…" _

"_Why would I read that nonsense?" _

_Leonard just sighed "Who knows, maybe because you wouldn't want Haley to turn into a messed up adult like Raj, or Howard, hell even myself…your choice though, I have to go…I'll see you when I get home." With that he hung up, leaving Sheldon to sit there and ponder. _' I certainly don't want my sister to become a weak minded adult with lack of confidence like Leonard…" _He thought in horror as he went to his computer and sat down, pulling up parenting articles. _

_A couple hours later Sheldon is interrupted from his reading by a few knocks on the door, followed by Howard letting himself in. "Hey! We're back…" He said with a smile as Haley flew through the apartment and down the hall to her bedroom. _

_Sheldon turned to Howard and looked at him. _

"_She's still upset.." He said with a shrug of his shoulders. "Well I'll see you tomorrow." _

_After Howard left Sheldon went straight to Haley's room to find her on the floor playing with her dolls. He stood in the doorway and cleared his throat. "Hello Haley…" _

_Haley looked up at him blankly and went back to brushing her baby dolls' hair. He hated the fact that she wasn't answering him. He closed the door behind him and sat down on her bed, staring at her. "Haley…I would like to apologize for my actions a few days ago. It was uncalled for and mean what I said…" _

"_Then why did you say it?" She was suddenly staring at him seriously. _

"_I forget that you are not like everyone else in my social group. You need to be taken care of, and kept occupied…and showed affection towards often since you are a small child and it is essential for your psychological and physical growth…"_

_Haley furrowed her brow "What's affection?"_

_Sheldon found himself smiling at the adorable expression on her face. "Affection means to show love and attentions towards another person…" _

_Haley shrugged "Howie, Raj, Leo, and Penny show me love and attention all the time…" _

_He felt a pang of guilt in his stomach as he slid off the bed and sat down in front of her. "I know they do, but it should be myself that does that. I am your primary caregiver…it should be me…" _

_Haley saw the guilt and frustration on his face and set her dolls down on the floor. She stood up in front of him and put her little hand on his shoulder. "It's ok Shelly. Mamma always told me you were special and you didn't like being around people…" _

_Sheldon grabbed her gently, pulling her into his lap. "She was not being untruthful, but you are not most people. Normally I do not care if I don't see someone I have known for years for a long period of time. You though, a few hours after you left…it was hard. You are an important part of my life now." He knew his lecture was not getting through to the kid, and however much he hated to do so, he knew he had to simplify it to where she would understand. "In other words, I missed you a lot, and I also want you to know that, even though sometimes I may not act like it…I love you very much. I promise I will try harder…" That was the first time he had ever said those words to her. It was the three words he rarely ever told anyone. The only other exceptions were his mother and his meemaw. _

_Haley gave him a hug "I love you too…" _

_Sheldon exhaled in relief, as he knew the hardest part was over. Now it was just keeping his word. _

"_Did you have fun with Howard this weekend?" _

_Haley nodded excitedly "Yes! We went to the park and the beach and out to ice cream and McDonalds!" _

"Just smile and tell her that sounds nice..' _His mind order him, so that was what he said. _

"_We played this game that if a pretty girl started talking to Howie I would be his wingman…" _

_Sheldon arched an eyebrow and looked at her "How exactly did you do that?" _

"_Howie said we were going to play pretend and tell everyone that he was my daddy…" _

_He tried to conceal his frown, but it was hard. "Oh, really?"_

_Haley nodded._

"_Well when Penny comes over, you should definitely tell her that story. I'm sure she would love to hear it…" _'And beat the crap out of Wolowitz with those large Nebraskan man hands for using my sister as a pawn to get women to date him." He thought as he smiled at Haley and nodded.

_0000_

"I can't believe your brother is actually letting you come with me!" Lexi said excitedly as they sat in Haley's room, in front of the mirror painting their faces with black and white makeup.

"It would have been a huge no if Raj didn't agree to go, and even then he was iffy. Howard sealed the deal with saying he would go with us as well…" She set the white paint down and surveyed herself in the mirror. "How do I look?"

"Like a juggalette! No one's gonna mess with these ninjettes" Lexi smirked as she continued to work on her face as she continued "So did you hear the shit Hannah was saying at school?"

Haley rolled her eyes "Oh, God let me guess…I'm a huge liar and her brother never touched me…am I close?"

Lexi shook her head "Worse girl. She said she knew about it, but that you and him were having some sort of secret relationship. Dude, she said she even heard you guys…"

Haley's mouth dropped at the words "You gotta be fucking kidding me…I didn't …that wasn't true. I swear to god…" She stammered.

"Don't worry. I know. I totally know." Lexi put down the makeup and turned to look at her. "Can I ask you something though, and I swear to God I won't say anything you tell me."

Haley sat down and ran a hand nervously through her hand. "Sure, what do you want to know?"

"Was it easy? I mean to turn off your feelings when it was happening? Were you able to do it all the time?"

Haley shrugged "I don't know, I mean it was easy for me to do it…I had a lot of practice perfecting the art." She paused for a moment, as she chewed her lower lip as her mind flooding with thoughts and memories. "Can I tell you a secret. Promise not to tell?"

Lexi gave her a look "You know I'd never tell…"

Haley grabbed the pack of cigarettes that was laying next to her and lit one up. "Aaron didn't force me every single time…"

"Wait what?" Lexi's eyes got huge as she quickly got up from the chair and turned up the stereo so they wouldn't be overheard by Sheldon and his Vulcan hearing. A Breaking Benjamin blared loudly, bringing a feeling all too familiar in Haley…

"_So I'll find what lies beneath, your sick twisted smile, as I lie underneath your cold jaded eyes. Now you turn the tide on me, 'Cause you're so unkind. I will always be here for the rest of my life."_

"I mean when I was younger…Yeah…I tried to run, hide…play like I was asleep…nothing worked. A lot of the times I also wasn't there. I guess one of my other personalities, might have enjoyed it...I don't remember it. But anyways, a couple weeks after he came back from the west coast, and it started again. It started feeling different. I was getting really confused. So that night I accidently told everyone what happened and ran off..."

"You mean when Sheldon busted you at the beach with us?" Lexi cut in quickly.

Haley nodded Yup. Same night. I wanted to see how it felt…I…was curious…to see if what would happen if I actually was…willing." She shrugged "That and I was high as hell on crank…"

"Oh totally, that shit makes you horny as hell…" Lexi nodded in agreement as she leaned forward, eager for her to continue "And?"

"I kissed him, and I liked it…but it freaked me out. I couldn't stop myself. I knew I shouldn't have wanted it, but I did. We ended up...well you know. I wasn't supposed to like it…and I was so confused, the feelings I had…that I have. I feel like I'm just as fucked up as he is…"

Lexi took a deep breath, bracing herself for a possible freak out from what she was about to ask Haley, but her curiosity was getting the best of her. "Hal, when you say feelings you have…you…you don't love him do you?"

Haley ran a hand through her hair as she hung her head. "I do…I don't know why…tell me Lexi, why do I feel this way? I know it's wrong…but I do love him. I'm scared shitless of him, but these feelings don't go away…I hate him for everything he's done, but now that he was caught and…isn't around…I feel…lost.."

"I think he brainwashed you dude…"

Haley shook her head "The scary thing is…I don't think he did…I never felt like this before…until recently…wouldn't I have always felt this way if it were brainwashing?"

"I don't know…that shit takes time…then again…maybe it's cause your older…I have no clue. This is definitely not one of my areas of knowledge. Sex? Oh hell yeah…but this…its kind of tricky…"

Haley let out a stressed laugh "Totally…." _'See? You're a freak' _The voice taunted. Just then there was a knock on her bedroom door. Raj and Howard entered wearing the same outfits they wore years back when they pretended to be hardcore at some Goth club. Their faces painted like black and red clowns. Lexi's mouth dropped "Holy fuck! You two did some seriously fucking awesome paintwork on your face!"

Raj shrugged smugly "What can I say? I'm a makeup artist in another life."

"That's no shit…" Haley snorted. "Did Sheldon see you?"

"Yeah, he's still standing out there, unsure of what to say." Howard chuckled.

"Wow! You stumped my brother? Kudos man." She looked them over again and just shook her head "I can't believe Bernie is letting you go Howie…"

"Well, she thought that someone else should go along with Raj to keep an eye on you guys. So she told me to come, and we didn't want to cramp your style, so we decided to dress up to blend in."

"Yeah, you'll blend in alright. Just say 'whoop whoop' and 'much mother fucking clown love' a lot, and you should be ok…I think…" Lexi thought about it for a minute, but then simply shrugged.

Sheldon was typing away at his laptop, when he glanced up and froze at the sight of his sister. "Our mother would have dragged you to the nearest church, and drowned you in the baptismal font if she were here to see the way you are dressed…"

"Well after the concert I'll stop by a church and have a priest perform an exorcism on me or something…" _'Actually doesn't sound like a bad idea, wonder if a priest has an answer for what I'm feeling…' _

He studied her for a minute before he spoke "Was that sarcasm?"

"Yes Sheldon…"

Raj strolled out into the front room looking full of himself "Dude, I feel like it's Halloween! We should do this more often!"

Lexi shook her head sadly at him "I don't think you would handle it Raj."

"Enough chit chat we got two hours to get there already!" Haley said looking at the time.

"Please be careful you guys…" Sheldon said turning from his laptop to watch them leave.

"We will! Promise!" Haley chirped. A few minutes after they left Sheldon's phone started to vibrate. Opening his phone he read the text sent from Penny.

"_I'll be home from work in an hour. Can I come over?" _

Sheldon blinked a few times as he read the message over a few times. He was confused as to what exactly it was that was going on between himself and Penny. They had engaged in coitus together, and she kissed him whenever she saw him. They both had admitted that they loved each other. Does that make them a couple? He certainly thought it was the logical explanation. _"Do I ask her to be my girlfriend?" _He grabbed out his phone and sent a text message to the last person he ever thought he'd ask for advice from - his sister.

_Sheldon: _"_I was wondering if it would be appropriate to ask Penny to enter a relationship agreement with me? ~ Dr. Sheldon Cooper_

_0000_

Haley felt her phone buzz in her pocket and fetched it out, having to take a double look at what she was reading. Lexi saw Haley's face and leaned over to read it. "HOLY SHIT!" she exclaimed. "Looks like your bro finally found his balls!"

Raj glanced at them in the rearview mirror "Dude, what are you two talking about?"

"Sheldon is asking Haley if he should ask Penny out…" Lexi sat back with a smirk on her face. Howard turned around to look at them "Wait, what? And why is he asking a thirteen year old for advice instead of his friends…" He frowned slightly.

"Uh, because it was pretty much me and Lex that got them two together." Haley said smugly as she texted Sheldon back.

_Haley: "Yes! Totally, and whatever the hell you do, DO NOT make her sign some stupid damn relationship agreement! I'll beat the shit outta you if you do!" _

_0000_

Sheldon narrowed his eyes "My agreements are not stupid…" he said aloud to himself as he sent a reply back to Penny:

_Sheldon: "That will be acceptable. I will see you after you get off work then. ~Dr. Sheldon Cooper_

_Penny: Ok :) _

He closed the phone and set it down beside his computer as he continued to work, though his mind was elsewhere at the moment, and he was extremely nervous.

0000

Raj and Howard stood way in back of the crowd surveying the scene. Luckily they blended in well enough with what they were wearing, but they still felt like this was an event way beyond what they consider 'normal'.

"It's weird you know, I mean how like Sheldon is…well Sheldon, and Haley is like this little badass" Raj laughed loudly, as he took another sip of the Faygo someone had given him. Howard looked at him from the corner of his eye. "You ok there buddy? You're kinda slurring your words…"

Raj shook his head "I'm not drunk, the only thing I have been drinking is this Faygo and it's awesome! I feel so free!" He said with glee.

Howard grabbed the bottle and took a sniff of it, then handed it back to him, shaking his head "Yeah, Faygo with Vodka in it…"

"I thought it tasted a little strong for soda…"

0000

"You don't know how friggin glad I am that your brother let you come with me" Lexi practically had to yell at Haley in order for her to hear over the music.

"Yeah, but we still had to bring the two "bodyguards" along.." She yelled back at her. A couple hours into the concert, they were enjoying themselves, until Lexi tugged on Haley's sleeve. "You got to be fucking shitting me…" She growled angrily. Haley turned her head to see what, she was looking at. Searching through the crowd Haley spotted Hannah immediately and let out a groan "Oh, that's just fucking lovely.."

"The fuck is she doing here…she doesn't even like ICP…" Lexi spat.

"You know she follows her fucking idiot boyfriend around like a bitch in heat…he's the ICP fan, not her…" Haley rolled her eyes and resumed watching the band.

"Great, she saw us…" Lexi groaned "And here she comes…"

0000

Penny rushed home from work and quickly got dressed in some sweats to be more comfortable. She was nervous to go over and see Sheldon, as it was going to be just the two of them. Tonight, she decided was the night she was going to put everything out there and tell him how much she loved him, and she only hoped that his love for her would be the same. That it was enough to be together.

Penny knocked three times before Sheldon answered the door. He stood there looking nervous himself as he nodded, acknowledging her presence. "Good evening Penny. I hope work was alright…"

"It was…" She smiled as stood aside, letting her in. "I couldn't wait to get home though…"

Sheldon nodded as he closed the door behind him "It is understandable, working long hours at the cheesecake factory must get rather tedious…"

Penny rolled her eyes at his naivety. "I couldn't wait to get home because I knew I was going to have an evening alone with _you." _

"Oh…" Sheldon spoke quietly as he went to sit down in his spot. Penny sat down next to him.

"I have been thinking about the obvious alteration of our friendship paradigm…What we have engaged in…I think it would be appropriate to officially change whatever this is we have here…"

Penny sat there staring at him blankly for a few moments before she managed to speak "Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?"

"Ideally, yes. Oh, and there is no need to worry about signing a relationship agreement…Haley already told me she'd beat me if I had you sign anything…"

Penny let out a laugh "What can I say? She learned a lot from me. Yes, Sheldon. I would love to be your girlfriend." She leaned over towards him and kissed him gently on the lips.

His eyes brightened up after they broke the kiss. "Well then that settles that." He glanced around the empty apartment, feeling an odd sensation in his stomach. "You know…Leonard is more than likely gone for the night, and Haley is going to be at that concert until very late…"

"What do you have in mind moonpie?" Penny looked at him with a devious grin.

_**(Yeah I know I mentioned Hannah Montana and High School Musical, it's 2007 and she's five years old, we all know that most 3-14 year old girls were OBSESSED! Also I am soo sorry for this sudden cliffhanger! I will have the next chapter out shortly. I was going to include everything into one chapter but it was getting really long so I had to split it in two.) **_


	27. Hopeless

**(Updated!) **

**(Sorry it took a while to get this to you! I was running here there and pretty much everywhere. Yes, there will be some Shenny lovin in this chapter, but its not going to be too graphic, I heard that they are deleting stories that are too graphic in nature, which sucks balls because its freedom of speech, but what can you really do about it? After this chapter I'm going to be going through the story and reworking, fixing and adding parts/chapters/whatnot before I continue on. This shouldn't take too long at all, it's already in the works, they just need to be uploaded. I still suggest you listen to the songs the chapters are named after while reading them! If anyone needs a whole list of the music, just message me! Anyways hope you enjoy this chapter! Reviews are always welcome, please no burns.) **

Chapter twenty-seven: Hopeless

_Silent I go under _

_I am not afraid _

_I can see the daylight shine _

_And slowly drift away _

_Safe to say it's over _

_Sink into the grave _

_There is nothing left inside _

_But I am wide awake _

_I can hear the devil call my name _

_HOPELESS _

_I'm falling down _

_FILTHY _

_I can't wake up _

_I can not hold on _

_I will not let go _

_WORTHLESS _

_It's over now _

_GUILTY _

_There's no way out _

_I can not hold on _

_I will not let go_

~ Breaking Benjamin

Haley diverted her attention towards the band, ignoring the sight of Hannah, who was weaving in and out of the crowd trying to get to them. Lexi however, stood there with her hand on her hip watching Hannah with a bitchy smirk on her face.

"I never knew you listened to ICP Hannah…" She said coolly.

Hannah rolled her eyes "I don't, I came here with my boyfriend…"

"Oh, and where is he?" Lexi asked in an innocent voice.

"He went off to see some of his friends…" Hannah knew what game Lexi was playing so she matched her bitchiness. "So I totally heard that Tyson, like dumped you…I'm so sorry…" Giving her a saddened expression, that was obviously fake.

"Nah, I was actually the one who called it off, we're still friends though…"She replied with a shrug. Hannah's attention then went to Haley, who pretended she wasn't even there.

"You know my parents are going to be paying the bail on my brother right?"

Lexi nearly dropped her drink when she heard that and laughed "Yeah, right…that video tape evidence we got should keep his ass in jail for a long time…"

"Let's just say money can be very persuasive, and we have lots of it…" Hannah said smugly as she looked at Haley "You know he can't shut up about you, how much he loves you and other bullshit…"

Haley felt the breath leave her lungs as she tried to remain focused on the performers.

"Your brother and his friends must have really mind fucked him, he keeps begging me to tell you how sorry he is…even though he has nothing to be sorry for…"

Lexi's eyes narrowed at her "So it was totally cool that he raped her for years? Wow, shit sure has changed…last time I checked a twenty-one year old having sex with a thirteen year old is illegal as hell…"

Hannah let out a laugh "It's not rape if the person is willing, and I totally heard you Haley, you were more than willing…don't try to play it off like your so innocent, I think everyone knows you've been fucking around with Ben from the skate park, isn't he like eighteen?"

Haley felt herself leaving her body, despite how hard she tried to remain aware. "I…I don't remember it…" She stammered.

"Figures…" Hannah then smirked "You know...Ben kinda looks like Aaron...isn't that weird?"

"Hannah, if you don't back the fuck off, I'm going to punch your fucking teeth out…" Lexi's voice rose, making others notice the confrontation.

Just then there was a loud whistle, and Hannah turned to see her boyfriend calling her. She looked at Lexi and grinned "Well I have to go. Have fun you guys…" and with that she ran off like a bat out of hell.

"She always was a fucking punk bitch when it came to fighting…" Lexi snorted and turned to Haley pulling her into a one armed hug "Dude, fuck her…the little bitch is lying through her teeth…"

"Maybe, maybe not…do you think he is?"

"He is what?"

Haley looked down at her sneakers "Sorry…"

"If he was ever sorry he wouldn't have continued to do it for years…He hurt you…in more ways than just one…sexually, physically, emotionally…mentally…no…I just think he's scared shitless of prison and is crying to mommy and daddy to help him…"

Haley just nodded and gave her a weak smile. Lexi rolled her eyes and playfully punched her in the arm "Come on hoe, we're supposed to be enjoying this night! Let's see if we can squeeze up front…" She grabbed Haley by the hand and pulled her through the crowd.

0000

Penny waited with an arched eyebrow for Sheldon to speak. She expected him to go into a lengthy play by play of what he was planning, and an explanation as to why he decided to do so, but then he leaned forward and pressed his lips softly to hers. All other thoughts went out the window, as she wrapped her arms around his neck returning his kiss with the same passion he was showing her. _'Wow…he is really good at this…' _She thought '_Definitely was not lying when he said he was a quick learner…' _

Penny broke the kiss and let out a small laugh "wow…so should we move this to the bedroom?"

Sheldon shifted in his seat as his pants began to get tighter from his arousal. "I think that would be appropriate.."

She noticed that this time around he seemed more shy than their last encounter. Then again she had to put in mind that he was a complete emotional wreck at the time, finding out that his sister had been abused for years right under his nose. Penny didn't mind though, it gave her a chance to show him how honest she was when she told him she was a 'big 'ol five '. She got up from the couch and stood in front of him, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him to his feet.

Sheldon let out a long breath and looked down at her "Well there's no need to be rough…" He mumbled as she walked off towards his bedroom, leading him by the arm.

"Rough can be fun sometimes sweetie, just you wait"

0000

"I'm really starting to feel this music…" Raj slurred happily "It's like a family gathering here…"

Howard looked at him and shook his head "You're piss drunk…"

"I'm fine.." Raj said waving him off with his hand.

"I'm friggin starving….how much longer is this concert going to last? We've been here four hours already…"

Raj shrugged and reached into his pocket, pulling out an unwrapped fiber bar. "You can have this if you want…"

Howard wrinkled his nose. "Why do you have that….you know what, I don't even want to know…I'm too hungry to care…" He grabbed the bar and took a few bites. After a few seconds a really bad familiar taste registered in his mouth and he spit it out "Shit, there's peanuts in that…"

Raj's eye's widen "Oh crap dude, I didn't know…we need to get you to a hospital…"

"I know that…damn it Raj! You should have warned me…" There was a hint of fear in his voice. Raj started to panic as he dropped his bottle to the floor and looked around trying to figure out what to do. That's when he saw Haley and Lexi hand in hand escape the crowd walking towards them.

Haley noticed that Howard was wheezing and look at Raj "What's wrong?"

"I accidentally gave him a protein bar that had peanuts in it…I didn't know…"

"Fuck" Haley swore loudly "Come on, we got to get him to the hospital NOW!"

"He can't drive…he's wasted and I only have a license for my vespa.." Howard said breathlessly. The color had drained from his face and was slowly beginning to swell.

Haley didn't listen as she and Lexi each took one of Howard's arms and led him outside of the building quickly. Raj stumbled behind them.

"The fuck are we going to do?" Lexi looked at Haley wide eyed. It was the first time Haley ever saw her best friend scared.

"I got this." Haley said with confidence and turned to Raj "Gimme your car keys…"

"What?" He sputtered.

"NOW Raj! We don't have much time. You two wait here with him. Monitor his breathing…if he can't breath…well lets just hope we won't have to cut a hole in his trachea…" She said more to herself than the other three, who looked at her like she was crazy. Raj handed her the keys "What are you going to do?"

"Get him to the damn hospital…" She snapped and ran off into the dark towards the parking lot.

Howard started to cough loudly "It's…getting harder to breathe…"

"Shit! Let's sit him down…" Lexi said frantically as they helped him to sit on the curb.

A couple minutes later Raj's car speed around the corner and pulled up in front of them. Haley reached over from the drivers side and threw open the door. "Get him in now! We don't have much time…"

Lexi and Raj helped Howard into the backseat, while Raj got in beside him shutting the door. Lexi jumped in front and slammed the passenger door. She looked at Haley "Hit it!"

Haley put her foot on the gas and they speed off into the night heading to the nearest hospital.

0000

When Penny got Sheldon into his bedroom she shut the door behind them with her foot. He walked over to his bed and sat down awkwardly. Penny couldn't help but smile at how cute and innocent he looked at that moment. "It's ok sweetie…we've done this before, remember?" She said gently as she walked over to him, and sat down next to him.

"True, but I was also emotionally distraught…I let my basal instincts take over…" He was staring down at his feet. Penny could tell how nervous he was. So she decided that she would take the lead this time. Leaning forward she kissed him once again on the lips. Sheldon ran his hand through her golden hair, feeling himself once again starting to lose control. Penny broke the kiss only to push him down on his bed. His breathing hitched when she placed a leg on each side of his thighs, straddling him in place. He let out a groan as Penny began to grind herself against his throbbing member.

"Penny…" he whispered hoarsely.

"Yes?" she broke the kiss once more to pull her shirt over her head, tossing it to the floor.

"You are quite the vixen…" Sheldon answered breathlessly. He ran his hands up her bare back, stopping on the clasp of her bra. Penny couldn't help getting even more turned on by the devious look on his face. She gave him the okay by leaning down, kissing his neck softly.

It took him a few tries, but he managed to get her bra unhooked. He tossed it to the floor and cupped her breasts in his hands gently. Penny moaned loudly at his touch, as she continued to rock back and forth over the bulge his chinos were hiding. Penny slipped off of him in order to let him removed his pants and briefs (something he did with abnormal speed at that…). After he folded his pants and underwear neatly, placing them on his bedside table, he scooted back up in the bed, resting his head on his pillow.

Penny let out a girlish giggle at how quickly he managed to strip naked. "My, Dr. Cooper, I never thought I'd see the day…" she crawled back onto the bed, preparing to get back on top of him, when he surprised her by grabbing her, flipping them both over so he was now on top of her, with an accomplished smirk on his face.

"Call me that again…" he whispered in her ear.

'_hmm, I guess I found out what turns Sheldon Cooper on…"_ Penny thought excitedly. She wrapped her arms and legs simultaneously around his neck and waist, pulling him down closer. "I'm not sure I know what you mean Dr. Cooper…" she purred seductively.

Hearing her call him by his superior doctoral status aroused him even more than he ever thought it would. He positioned himself at her slick, hot entrance, and captured her lips in a passionate kiss.

"Please fuck me Dr. Cooper…" she begged. The way he was rubbing himself up and down her clit was driving her crazy.

"If that's what you want…" he decided to stop teasing her and give her what she begged for. He pushed himself slowly into her depths, letting out a grunt as he did so.

Penny moaned loudly with pleasure, and of course that gave him the cue to carry on. He moved himself in and out of her at a steady pace.

With everything that had been going on, he almost forgot how amazing it felt to be inside of her.

"Oh God, Sheldon!" Penny cried out as she arched her back in order to deepen his thrusts. Once more his mind was void of any other thoughts except that of the person who lay beneath him. The fact that she cried out his name in the same sentence as the good Lord's was oddly exhilarating. He grabbed her by the hips and began to pump roughly, completely losing himself in the moment.

Penny, feeling herself reaching her peak, dug her nails into his back "Shit! I'm coming…" she practically yelled. As soon as he felt her walls spasm around him, he quickly came to his own orgasm. They lay there like that for a few minutes before he pulled himself from her, collapsing onto the bed, wondering why again he detested the idea of Coitus.

0000

"Lex, light me up a cigarette…" Haley said in her calmest voice, even though inside she was freaking out. Her eyes were focused on the road, not caring she was going 75 miles per hour. This was an emergency, she had to get to that hospital.

"Where did you learn to drive?" Raj asked from the backseat suddenly. Lexi lighted her a cigarette, took a few puffs and handed it to her. Haley inhaled deeply and blew the smoke out the window. "Shit…I don't know, since I was like eleven…Lexi's uncle used to let us mess around with his cars, and drive them around his property…" she looked to Lexi "Remember that shit?"

Lexi laughed "Totally…"

Haley continued "And then Tyson always let me race the camero. I was the only one who'd win at chicken…well then I'd steal Leonard's car at night to get cigarettes…but he doesn't need to know that…"

"What's chicken?" Raj asked but Howard sat up in the seat "You play chicken?" He said in a muffled voice, it was hard to understand him, as his face was swelling at a alarming rate.

"It's fun as hell its where two cars come racing straight towards each other at full speed, first person to swerve out of the way is the chicken…and Howard sit back…we'll be there soon…"

"And what happens if neither driver chickens out?"

Haley let out a laugh while Lexi turned to look at them "Well then we have a really bad head on collision.." Haley couldn't control her laughter when she saw Raj's horrified look.

Raj was actually pretty impressed at how well she could drive. If this were not a serious situation, he would have joked at how she bested her older brother in everything normal.

"Lexi, called Bernadette and tell her to meet us at the hospital…" Haley took one last hit of her cigarette, returning both hands to the steering wheel. Lexi nodded and pulled out her cell phone dialing the number.

0000

Bernadette was with Amy and Leonard at Amy's when her phone started ringing. Bernadette looked down at her phone and arched an eyebrow "I never saw that number before…" She picked it up "Hello?"

"Hey, Bernie? It's Lexi Haley's friend…look we have a situation…Howard accidentally ate something with peanuts, and now we're headed to the emergency room."

Leonard and Amy noticed Bernadette's face pale "Oh my Howie…is he alright? I'll be right there…"

"We're still on our way, but meet us ok?"

"I'm heading out now…"Bernadette said standing to her feet, grabbing her car keys. When she hung up Amy questioned her "You look terrified…has something happened?"

"Howard had an allergic reaction at the concert, they are all on the way to the hospital…I gotta go. I'm sorry you guys."

Leonard got to his feet "We'll go with you. We'll probably be having to drive the girls back home anyways later on…"

Bernadette nodded and the three headed off to the hospital.

0000

Penny laid there peacefully with her head on Sheldon's chest. She still couldn't believe this was happening, and that they were now together. Sheldon Cooper of all the possible people was now officially her boyfriend. Penny glanced up at him and smile gently as she seen her was fast asleep. Of course that's when her phone started going off. She let out a groan and grabbed it from the bedside table, being careful not to stir the slumbering Sheldon. It was a text message from Ames. Penny rolled her eyes and flipped open her phone to read it.

_Amy: we're on our way to the hospital. Howard had a bad allergic reaction after eating something at the concert…"_

Penny sat upright in the bed, startling Sheldon from his sleep. He bolted up "DANGER DANGER!"

"Sheldon it's just me…"

He looked at her suddenly feeling foolish "Oh, I knew that…"

"Amy just texted me, Howard had a bad allergic reaction at the concert and they are meeting Raj at the hospital…"

Sheldon looked at her wide eyed "Raj is driving to the hospital intoxicated?"

Now Penny was confused "What? I don't think so…what do you mean?"

"I got a few odd text messages from him earlier…it's obvious he has been drinking…" He slipped out of the bed quickly, getting his pants on "We should go to the hospital to meet them as well…"

Penny nodded "Ok…I'm sure Raj isn't drunk and driving…"

0000

The five of them managed to get to the hospital at the same time. Penny and Sheldon ran through the parking structure till they reached the entrance to the Emergency Room where Bernadette, Leonard, and Amy were waiting.

"Have they got here yet?" Penny said breathlessly. Sheldon remained quiet behind her. All kinds of horrible scenario's were playing out in his head at that moment, but instead of opening his mouth and making the obviously distraught Bernadette even more panicked, he kept silent.

"No…last time I called, Lexi said there were like ten minutes away, so they should be here anytime…." Bernadette's voice shook. Penny wrapped an arm around her for comfort. "They'll be fine…"

Just then they heard a car quickly pull into the parking lot and Sheldon noticed it was Raj's car. The car pulled up right in front of them at the entrance and hit the breaks. Lexi hopped out of the passengers side, and immediately went to open the backseat door. "We have to get him in there NOW!" She said urgently. Raj stumbled out from the other side and came to help her pulled Howard out. Leonard and Sheldon quickly came forward to help him, while Bernadette and Amy followed behind. Penny was confused at first and then looked through the passengers window to see Haley at the wheel. "Haley, _you_ drove him here?" She didn't know what to think.

Haley rolled her eyes "Well this drunk ass mofo over there wasn't going to get anywhere like that…"

Haley started the car back up again. Penny shook her head "Where the hell are you going?"

"To park the car, dur!"

It was at that moment that Sheldon emerged quickly from inside the hospital. Obviously in a hurry to get away from all the germs floating around in that place. That was when he saw Haley start up the car. Before his mind could fully grasp what he was doing, he ran to the car and opened the passengers door. "What on earth are you doing?" He had this crazed look in his face.

At that point Haley was getting annoyed with being asked the same question more than once. "I'm. Parking. The. Fucking. Car."

"No you're not." He said sternly.

"I think I can, I drove it here didn't I?"

"That's preposterous, you can't drive…"

Penny coughed from in back of him "Actually Sheldon…she's the one who drove them here…"

'_So now my sister also learned how to drive a vehicle before me…' _was what went through his head, but all he could say was a silent "Oh…"It concerned him to no end, how much older his sister acted for her thirteen years - not in a good way most times. "_Then again",_ he had to argue with himself, _"she probably saved Wolowitz's life..."_ He then climbed into the passengers seat and closed the door. Haley gave him a wild look "What the hell are you doing? Aren't you freaked out that I'm going to crash and kill you or something? I mean you're always sketchy letting people driving you places…"

"This may be true…" He began slowly "But it would be extremely irresponsible of me, if I just let you drive off by yourself…"

Haley shrugged "Fine, whatever." She rolled down the passengers window "Hey Pen, tell Raj, I'm parking his car…oh and tell him don't worry I won't play chicken with it!" She then pressed her foot on the gas and took off.

Penny just shook her head and went inside to join the others.

0000

"Haley, you're going too fast…" Sheldon complained fearfully as they turned a corner out of the complex parking lot. He noticed this and looked at her "This isn't where the parking complex is located…we're going the wrong way…"

"Yeah. I know. I'm stopping at Taco Bell before we go back." She slumped back in the seat, steering the car with one hand. Sheldon nearly had a panic attack "You need to put both hands at the wheel…it's dangerous, we could crash!"

Haley let out a laugh "Sheldon, hate to break it to you, but I have been driving for like two years…well not like officially…learned a lot on Lex's uncle's house…"

Sheldon gaped at her "That's what you were doing when you went on those weekend trips?"

Haley nodded "Yeah, and four wheeling of course…"

"But you're not sixteen and you don't have a driver's liscense...we could go to jail!" he cried. Haley waved her hand impatiently "We're not going to get pulled over. If you keep freaking out and flailing your hands around like an idgit though, we might..."

He immediately stopped what he was doing. "But you have your face painted like a crazy clown...won't that catch the police's attention?"

Haley shrugged "On a normal day, yeah...but tonight was one of the biggest Insane Clown Posse Concerts...there's going to be a shitload of juggalo's and juggalettes riding around..." She saw that he still wasn't satisfied "Don't worry, I know how to drive and obey the rules of the road like everyone else...as long as i keep within speed limit, and you stop fidgeting, we'll be fine..."

He pouted "You're grounded..."

Haley just rolled her eyes "Oh, i know...but it was worth it!"

It was a few minutes before Sheldon looked at Haley to see as she gripped the steering wheel tightly, staring straight ahead. Sheldon noticed the wrinkle of her brow as if she were pondering something serious.

"Is everything alright Haley? You seem to be lost in thought…" He stared at her.

Haley nodded quickly "Yeah, I guess…I mean…saw Hannah at the concert. She was talking a lot of shit…"

He shifted himself in his seat so he was now facing her "Did she say anything to offend you?"

"It pissed me off if that's what you mean, but its not like it was anything I could argue against…" She grabbed her pack of Marlboro's and lit one up, turning on Raj's cd player to find he had one of the mayday parade CD's she burnt for him. She laughed a little "Raj always knows the right music for the right time…"

"_She turns the pages everyday, Just to change the mood ,but every chapter reads the same. So hard to make it through. Just try and get up. You gotta slowly brush off. I know that words aren't enough, but you're better than this. Save your heart for someone that's worth dying for. Don't give it away. Torn apart. Never getting what you've been crying for It's always the same…"_

He could tell that she wanted to say more, but she always kept herself guarded.

"What did Hannah say to you?"

"Oh let's see…I'm a liar like usually, that Aaron said he's so sorry…and that he loves me…" She inhaled her cigarette too hard out of nervousness, which resulted in a coughing attack. Sheldon looked at her alarm, fearing she would steer off into a ditch, but she seemed to have amazing driving skills, not swerving once. He gave her a few pats on the back, until she shooed his hand away. "You're crystallizing your lungs with those menthols you know?"

"We're all going to die sometime...Might as well do it with something that calms the nerves.…" She laughed, but stopped when she saw the look on her brother's face. "It's a joke Sheldon…"

"I don't find you dying as funny…" He said with all seriousness, but decided not to continue on with it. "After observing your behavior for years, I know what something is on your mind, or what so to speak…"

"So you read minds now, fucking sweet, lets hear it, what was I thinking about?" She humored him as she clicked on the turn signal, to turn into the Taco Bell parking lot.

"You mean who?"

"Fine, who have I been thinking about?"

"The way your voice changed when you mentioned Aaron's name…it was different…not what I expected…."

Haley parked the car, turned off the engine, pulling the key out and turned to looked at him. "What are you trying to get at?" Her voice was edgy.

"I mean…there was no hate or anger when you spoke of him…I'd almost classify it as….longing…"

Haley ran a hand through her hair and just laughed nervously "Yeah, right." She immediately changed the subject, which made Sheldon even more suspicious. "You're gonna have to go in and order for me…"

Sheldon frowned "I am _not _stepping into a 'Taco Bell', especially in this area…if the front of the restaurant looks like that, I fear what the food looks like…"

Haley rolled her eyes "You have to…I can't go in…"

"Why not?"

"Umm let's see I have my face painted like a demented clown, they'll think I'm trying to rob the place…"

"You have a point…" He let out a sigh and opened the passenger door. "The things I do for you child…" he muttered as he got out.

" I want two volcano tacos, a nachos Belgrade, and a nacho burrito…"

"That doesn't even sound appetizing…" He complained as he disappeared into the restaurant.

Haley turned up the radio and got out of the car, sitting on the hood to wait. _"I'm not longing for him, that's just fucking ridiculous…all the shit he did to me…I hate him for everything…" _

"_But you also love him…you can't deny it…however crazy and fucked up it may be…"_ the voice answered her.

"I guess I'm pretty fucked up…" she said aloud to herself in defeat.

"_You chose to only remember the bad shit…you can't recall the good or normal, can you?" _

Haley grabbed her hair in frustration, wishing that damn demon inside of her head would shut its mouth.


	28. Comatose

**(Sorry it took so long to edit the story! Finally here is chapter twenty eight. Also sorry for constantly changing the cover for this story! I actually found the perfect picture of Elle that is totally how I envisioned Haley. I have a cover being made for the story, but until then the picture I have finally chosen will do. And now the continuation of our story. Reviews are appreciated and motivate me to continue writing! please no burns! **

Chapter Twenty-eight: Comatose

_I hate feeling like this_  
><em>I'm so tired of trying to fight this<em>  
><em>I'm asleep and all I dream of<em>  
><em>Is waking to you<em>  
><em>Tell me that you will listen<em>  
><em>Your touch is what I'm missing<em>  
><em>And the more I hide I realize I'm slowly losing <em>  
><em>Comatose<em>  
><em>I'll never wake up without an overdose <em>  
><em>I don't wanna sleep<em>  
><em>I don't wanna dream<em>  
><em>'cause my dreams don't comfort me<em>  
><em>The way you make me feel<em>  
><em>Waking up to you never felt so real<em>

_~ Skillet_

0000

"Fifteen minutes is not what I consider 'fast food' service" Sheldon complained as they headed back to the hospital.

Haley let out a loud groan and turned her head to look at him "Christ Sheldon, you didn't say _that _to them did you?"

"Well it was a dissatisfactory experience, so of course I mentioned it to them." He replied with a brief nod.

Haley looked at the bag of food wearily "They probably spit in my volcano tacos…"

He looked at her with a look of puzzlement "Why on earth would they feel the need to spit in your food?"

Haley couldn't help shaking her head in slight annoyance "Rule number one: never talk shit to the people who handle your food. Didn't Penny teach you anything?"

"What could a cheesecake factory waitress possibly teach a brilliant theoretical physicist such as myself?" There was that pompous attitude that irked his friends. Haley considered it conceited and narcissistic but she figured it might be an over exaggeration. Sheldon always held himself in a superior position over everyone in his social group and family. The exception to this was Haley, for the simple fact that she could bend him into submission in a way Missy, George, or even Penny could not.

"OW. Stop that!" Sheldon yelped as Haley grabbed his left wrist, twisted it in a painful manner. "You're going to drive us off this bridge!"

"Then don't talk about Penny like that…" She released his wrists, which he nursed with his other hand.

"My apologies." There was a brief pause as he thought about how his sister had reacted. "Out of all the women I have ever interacted you have only liked Penny, why?"

Haley let out a laugh "That's not true. I have always been amazingly kind to Amy."

It was Sheldon's turn to laugh "Proper social protocol would not consider the looks you gave her the first year 'kind.'"

She shrugged her shoulders "I give everyone dirty looks, that's just my face…" Of course she was lying. She disliked Amy when she first met her. It was another female demanding Sheldon's attention.

"Do I need to bring up what you did to Ramona Nowitzki?"

"I was like six and I'm sorry… but that bitch had to go…" She protested. "You even thought she was crazy…besides her hair grew back…eventually."

He nodded "True. You can't deny though, that you are a jealous little girl."

"No, I'm a bitch. There's a difference." She knew he was right, but one thing she wouldn't ever do is admit this to him. When she took a hand off the steering wheel, Sheldon's eyes bugged out in fear. She ignored this as she searched through the stations on the radio till she found a station she could deal with. At the particular song Haley started cracking up. "Oh shit! It's Missy's song…" She taunted.

"You better not…change that station now!" Sheldon ordered as he covered his ears.

"Oh come on! You know you just looove this song! Missy only posted it on her facebook like five hundred times! I think it was aimed towards that one married dude she was having an affair with." Haley looked sideways at him, seeing how much that song annoyed him. That was when she decided to take it to the next level by singing along to the chorus _" Joey I'm so sorry! Ohoohoh can you hear me? Joey I'm so sorry." _

Sheldon covered his ears with his hands. "Stop it, stop it, stop it!" he begged. Haley laughed loudly and turned the song down a bit "Ah, Missy and her lack of self respect for herself. Endless entertainment!"

"There is nothing funny about constantly reposting a horrible excuse for a song…" he shuddered. "And the 'guy' you are referring to was Jerry…or was it Blake?" His brow furrowed at the inability to remember this. Then again he didn't care who his twin 'dated'.

Haley couldn't help but cracking up, as she patted him on the shoulder "I don't think anyone can keep track of good ole' Missy's track record."

"Just please stop singing that song." Sheldon eyed her.

"Fine fine. Then I'll just play something I like" She searched through the stations till she came to an 80's rock station "Now this is _my _kind of music."

_"Tequila in his heartbeat, His veins burned gasoline._  
><em>It kept his motor running but it never kept him clean.<em>  
><em>They say he loved adventure, "Ricky's the wild one."<em>  
><em>He married trouble and had a courtship with a gun.<em>  
><em>Bang Bang Shoot 'em up, The party never ends.<em>  
><em>You can't think of dying when the bottle's your best friend<em>  
><em>And now it's 18 and life you got it."<em>

A few minutes later they pulled into the hospital parking lot. Haley found a spot and shut the car off.

"You still didn't answer my question."

"I don't know, I just like Penny. She's always been like the big sister I always wanted, who accepted me for me. Not like Missy always sending me the horrible clothes and constantly saying I wasn't 'girly' enough." She pulled the key out of the ignition and rested back in the drivers seat. "And Amy." She paused for a second. "Amy always assumed that being a neurobiologist, she had me completely figured out. I hated someone trying to tell me why I act the way I do when they obviously don't know shit from Shinola" She stopped when she noticed Sheldon was looking at her oddly. "What?"

"Meemaw used to say that phrase all the time…"

"Really? Random…" Haley simply shrugged as she grabbed the Taco Bell bag, and got out of the car. "I hope Howard is alright…"

He found himself deep in thought as he followed her into the hospital '_Curious-er and Curious-er …she's so much like our Meemaw, it's scary." _

0000

Penny look at the clock impatiently. Haley went to park the car over an hour ago. Horrible accident scenarios were going through her head when she saw Sheldon and Haley come through the sliding doors.

"What took you guys so long?" Penny asked as she walked over to them. Lexi beat her to them though, driven by the Taco Bell bag in Haley's hand. "Oh my God! I'm starving!"

Haley looked at the bag and shrugged handing it to Lexi "Here." She then turned to Penny "Is Howard alright?" she asked nervously. Penny nodded "Yeah, he's going to be fine. Lucky he had you to drive him."

"I did what I have to do. Howard is like a brother to me. I'd never let anything happen to him." She said with certainty.

Haley noticed Lexi, who was now sitting with her mouth full of food with her cell phone in her hand. Typing something furiously she looked up at Haley with this intense stare until she felt her own phone vibrate. Haley rolled her eyes and took the phone out of her pocket, reading the text.

_Lexi : "Did you tell your brother that Aaron might be getting out on bail?" _

Haley looked up at Lexi and shook her head mouthing "Hell no!" Her phone buzzed again.

_Lexi: Don't you think he'd want to know?" _

_Haley: Probably. But you know Hannah was just bullshitting. No need to get him worked up over nothing. _

0000

Sheldon was laying on his bed reading one of his Batman comics when his Vulcan hearing picked up on the sound of the window in the front room opening. He set the comic book down and slipped off his bed, heading towards the noise.

The front room was dark but the moonlight silhouetted Haley's figure sitting in the windowsill. Sheldon's stealth frightened her when he reached out and touched her shoulder. "It's 3:30 in the morning, why are you still awake?"

Haley's eyes were wide as saucers when she turned to look at him "You scared the shit outta me…" She complained.

"My apologies. I heard a noise and came to investigate."

"I couldn't sleep again, nothing new…" Haley said hanging her head. "I opened the window cause I needed to get some fresh air…I couldn't breathe."

He looked at her with concern "Are you having a panic attack?"

"I did. Now I'm just suffering from insomnia."

Sheldon leaned against the windowsill in front of her. "How long has it been since you actually had eight full hours of REM sleep?"

"I don't know. A few weeks? I stopped keeping track…"

"That is not very healthy. Sleep deprivation can have very serious side effects…" His voice was strained, which told Haley he was worried.

"Well, I'm seeing a Morlock lurking over there, is that a symptom?" She pointing a finger behind him, causing Sheldon to turn around quickly "Where?"

"Just kidding." Haley smiled weakly at him.

"Morlock's are not a matter to 'joke' about." Sheldon replied seriously.

"If I didn't crack jokes, I'd probably be in a white padding room by now."

Sheldon stood there for a moment, before deciding to sit down next to her, despite his fear of possibly falling out the window. "What are you thinking?"

It was weird hearing her brother show honest concern and curiosity over her thoughts. That didn't mean that it was simple to tell him what was going on inside her head. "I'm thinking that…you may have possibly been correct with what you assumed earlier."

He chuckled at his sister's nativity at times "I rarely 'assume' things. Why assume when I know that I am correct? Are you referring to my hypothesis regarding an emotional I perceived as 'longing'." At Haley's facial expression he paused "I may not be good at social cues, and protocol, but I have observed the same facial expression on your face that one time you wanted that puppy and I told you that you couldn't have it."

"There was no damned look of 'longing' on my face" Haley countered angrily. "And I'm not even talking about that."

"I see." Sheldon nodded slowly "Then is it about what Hannah allegedly said to you at the concert?" He knew exactly what was said between the three girls. Lexi was the little bird that sang to him via text message, while he was waiting for Haley's food earlier.

He saw Haley's eye twitch, and noticed she began to tap her fingers on the windowsill nervously, "It was nothing important, like I told you."

Sheldon couldn't explain why, but the way she could lie to him with such ease angered him to no end. Why did she have to be so stubborn, with her belief that she could deal with all of this on her own?

"I think that the possibility of Aaron Meloy getting released on bail is very important, especially to me."

Haley's mouth dropped at his words. When she finally was able to speak it was in a stutter I-I-I didn't. He didn't…Who told you?"

"Alexis. If that is what is bothering you…" He slowly moved his arm around her shoulder "You know I won't let that happen. Ever."

'_If only it were that simple. I would love for that to be the reason why I never sleep.' _"Thanks."

'_Just tell him the truth Haley. You're in love with the guy who abused you for years. Now that he's gone, you're breaking." _

"That's not true." Haley found herself saying aloud.

It was terrifying to Sheldon, watching his sister arguing with the voices in her mind. "Haley, I didn't say anything…" His voice quivered slightly.

'_Worthless." _

"Shut Up!"

"_Filthy."_

"STOP IT!"

"Haley, no one else is here…"

'_Guilty' _

"STOP!" Haley screamed _"_I'm not guilty!"

Sheldon tried to grab a hold of her, but she writhed away from his touch. This only made him trying harder in fear for her own safety.

"Haley, please refrain from thrashing near an open window…" He found himself pleading with her, making attempts to restrain her.

"I'm not guilty…" She started to sob as she tried to push him away from her. It broke something inside of him seeing her this pitiful and unwell. However difficult it may had been for him, Sheldon found himself standing there numbly, watching her with sadness. He let her beat against his chest until she physically wore herself out and collapsed against him.

Sliding a hand underneath her knees and the other behind her back, he lifted her into his arms. Just as he turned to take her to her bed, he came face to face with Amy Ferrah Fowler.

"Is she alright? I heard screaming that was not my own." Amy had spend the night at their apartment with Leonard. Usually Amy had night terrors that would wake her up, but after Leonard told her it was Haley screaming; she knew she had to investigate. Before Sheldon had a chance to answer her, Haley spoke.

"Now I know how it feels…" Her voice was weak and dazed.

Amy looked at her in curiosity "Know how what feels?"

"To fall down the rabbit hole…"

Amy moved aside to let Sheldon take Haley to her room. Being a neurobiologist, she knew what imbalances caused mental illness, as well as the environmental helpers that helped as well. Years of psychology classes and lectures showed many case studies of men and women plagued by voices and hallucinations. This shouldn't have been that difficult for Amy to face. Yet, seeing a thirteen year old child experiencing a mental breakdown was enough to make anyone sorrowful.

She watched until Sheldon disappeared into Haley's room, then she headed to Leonard's room. Crawling into the bed beside him, Leonard turned over and wrapped his arms around her "What was it?"

Amy let out a saddened sigh "Haley had another mental breakdown…."

Leonard sat up in the bed and looked at her "Is she alright?"

"Yeah. Sheldon took her to bed." She nodded. When he heard this, Leonard laid back down . "Well, are you doing alright?"

Amy shook her head "It's just so hard. Seeing her like this."

"I know."

Amy turned to look at Leonard "I just couldn't tell Sheldon what I really think…"

Leonard looked over at her "What do you think?

A few tears ran down her cheeks "That despite how much he thinks its unnecessary, I think it's gotten to the point where she…"

"Yes?"

"I think she may have to be hospitalized."

After convincing Amy that his mother will be able to help Haley, Leonard fell back to sleep. Amy however, found herself thinking back to the first time she met Dr. Sheldon Coopers' kid sister.

_"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense"_  
><em>"Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't"<em>

**Sorry this chapter was so short! The next chapter will be titled "Her name is Alice", after the song by Shinedown(Give it a listen!) , and will start out with a flashback regarding the first time Amy was introduced to Haley. I'm working on it as I type!) **


	29. Her name is Alice

**Chapter Twenty-nine : Her name is Alice**

_Sometimes the curiosity can kill the soul but leave the pain_  
><em>And every ounce of innocence is left inside her brain<em>  
><em>And through the looking glass we see she's painfully returned<em>  
><em>But now off with her head I fear is everyone's concern<em>

_You see there's no real ending_  
><em>It's only the beginning<em>  
><em>Come out and play<em>

_Her name is Alice (Alice)_  
><em>She crawls into the window<em>  
><em>Through shapes and shadows<em>  
><em>Alice (Alice)<em>  
><em>And even though she's dreaming<em>  
><em>She's unlocked the meaning for you<em>

_This kingdom,_  
><em>Good riddance,<em>  
><em>Good freedom<em>  
><em>And innocence<em>  
><em>Has brought this whole thing down<em>

~ Shinedown

**Five and a half years ago**

_Haley hopped the stairs three at a time. She always had to jump two to three stairs at a time. There were no if ands or buts about it. Even when she would lose balance and tumble down, she'd always hop back to her feet and continue in that manner. Mrs. Wolowitz called Haley 'one flighty wild child.'; something Bernadette agreed with whole heartedly. _

"_Haley…" Bernadette gasped as she trudged up the stairs after her "Slow down. I can't keep up with you." _

"_Come on Bernie!" Haley called down the stairs as she reached the fourth floor and ran through the front door to overhear a conversation that just confused her. _

"_Who's Amy?" Penny asked. _

"_Sheldon's girlfriend." Howard teased. _

"_She is not my girlfriend." Sheldon said as he placed his phone back into his pocket. "She is a girl, and she is my friend whom I communicate with on a daily basis, but she is not my girlfriend." _

"_OK, well what do you communicate about?" Penny asked. Haley stopped in her tracks and glanced around at everyone else. Bernadette came through the door seconds later, looking utterly exhausted. Howard glanced over at her and smile motioning her to come sit next to him. Haley's attention was diverted to the robotic arm that sat next to the living room table. _

"_Well, my work in Physics, her work in Neurobiology and, most recently, the possibility of our having a child together." He said in an unaffected tone. _

_At that point everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at him like he was a nutcase (nothing new there…) Penny spit her drink out and started coughing loudly. _

_Howard punched a few buttons on his laptop and the electronic arm offered Penny a napkin, which she took graciously. "Thank you." _

_This was getting entertaining for Haley, so she grabbed the box of Thai food that happened to contain the dumplings and hopped up on the kitchen island, perched like an owl. _

_Leonard got up and looked at him with a look of both surprise and slight repulsion "Wait a minute, a child? You never see this girl, you just email and text and twitter, now you're considering having a baby."_

_Haley dropped the dumpling from out of her mouth and looked at her brother with disgust "EWWWW!" _

_Sheldon looked at his sister with confusion "Ew? I do not understand. Amy pointed out, that between the two of us, our genetic material, has the potential of producing the first, in a line of intellectually, superior, benign overlords, to guide humanity to a brighter tomorrow."_

_Howard couldn't help but chuckle at the mortified look on the child's face. He then leaned in towards Raj and spoke "I'm guessing that future historians will condemn us, for not taking this opportunity to kill Sheldon." _

_Raj looked up to Haley to see her looking at them with a frown on her face, she shook her head. Sheldon sat back down in his spot and went to reach for his Mandarin Chicken, before he took a bite he looked up at Haley and frowned "You ate all of the dumplings…" _

_Haley placed the empty box beside her and shrugged innocently "You should have bought me a Happy Meal."_

_Sheldon simply sighed "Why do you have to be so picky…" That earned a crazed look from Leonard "How is she any more different than you?" _

"_My meals follow a routine….she just goes with what she craves…which is always chicken nuggets…"_

_Leonard rolled his eyes, and Penny got them back on subject by zeroing back in on Sheldon "Have you ever met this girl in person before?" _

_He blinked at her a few times "No. Why on earth would I want to do that?" _

"_Oh, I don't know to get to know this girl better. Think of it as getting to know the mother of your child." That was the best line she could come up with that sounded semi normal. Then again, this right here, was anything but normal._

"_I see. That does make sense." He resumed eating._

"_That's a stupid reason to want a baby." Haley slipped down from the kitchen island and tossed the empty carton in the garbage can. _

_Leonard snorted into his carton. Sheldon noticed and glared at him. He then turned his attention to his eight year old sister, who stood in front of them with hands behind her back; a devious grin on her face. "I disagree I think it is a very sensible and logical reason." _

"_If you have a baby you'll have to get rid of all your toys and comic books." _

_Penny laughed at Haley's remark and just shook her head "Oh, honey that's not true." _

_Haley nodded her head vigorously "Yes it is. Lexi told me when two people have a baby that can never have fun or play anymore." Haley paused " and you'll get an STD and die…" _

_Leonard spit out his drink, while the rest looked at Haley wide eyed at her. Howard was the only one who was nodding in approval "She's right Haley. That's why what do we do if a boy ever tries to kiss you?" _

"_Punch him in the throat?" She answered. _

"_Good girl." _

_Sheldon threw up his hands in frustration. He was annoyed with the way the conversation got so horribly sidetracked. "No one said anything about coitus. For your information I will not have to get rid of my comic books and ACTION FIGURES. I gave up nothing when I brought you to live here." _

"_That doesn't count. You're my brother not my dad." _

"_It does too count."_

_" You're gonna get herpagonasyphilaids!" _

_Leonard stared at her "That's not even a word Haley. Who taught you that?" _

"_Hannah heard her brother say it a few times. She said it's really bad."_

_Penny got up from her seat and walked over to Haley, taking her by the hand "Alright. I think it's time for this one to get washed up and put in bed."_

_Haley pouted at her "I don't want to!"_

"_It's a school night sweetie." _

_She let out a disappointed sigh, as she let Penny lead her to her room. _

0000

_Amy Ferrah Fowler found herself in the company of Sheldon Cooper's friends at his apartment weeks after their first 'date'. She had a hard time understanding why Sheldon would keep company with people like Raj, Howard, and Leonard. She keenly noticed that Penny, the girl who drove them on their first date was missing. _

"_Sheldon I have noticed that your promiscuous friend Penny is not present at this 'gathering' where is she?" She of course didn't mean the wording as an insult to her, she was just blunt. _

"_Oh yes, Penny. She is currently at the theater with Haley seeing the movie adaptation of The Last Airbender." Sheldon answered as he looked at his watch "Actually the movie ended an hour ago, they should have been on their way home by now." Slight concern in his voice._

"_Out of everyone in your social group, you speak of your sister often. I am quite interested to meet your youngest sibling."_

_Sheldon gave her a small nod "She is an…interesting child. Bright, but her head always is in the clouds as they say, rather than the classroom." _

"_That sounds distressing to you. Have you tried a sterner approach with the child?" _

_Howard couldn't contain his remark "Sheldon? Stern with Haley? That's a joke." _

_Amy looked at Howard unimpressed, but he continued talking anyways "Haley's a good little girl. A little spoiled, but we're all to blame for that…" _

"_I see." Amy replied curtly. _

_Just then Penny came through the door with a few shopping bags in her hands. "Sorry we're late. We decided to do a little shopping before we headed back." _

_Haley came in after her with a large wheeled object in her hands. "Look what Penny bought me!" She squealed in delight as she ran over to Sheldon. _

_He arched an eyebrow at what Haley held and looked at Penny in confusion "A skateboard?" _

_Penny simply shrugged "She wanted it. She could have picked whatever she wanted, but she chose a skateboard." _

"_Interesting…" Amy spoke, making Haley turn to look at her oddly. She took a few steps back and hid behind Penny. Amy took note of how different the two siblings appeared to be. While as Sheldon was tall and brunette, his sister was blonde and small. The only feature that was similar were their piercing blue eyes. _

_Sheldon diverted his attention once again to his sister "What would you possibly need a skateboard for?" _

"_I want to learn how to skateboard…that's why." Haley bore her eyes into him. _

"_No. I think not. It's too dangerous, you will break your neck." He said with a finality that made his little sister stomp her foot in anger. _

_Both stopped glaring at each other when Amy cleared her throat. Penny pushed Haley from behind her. "Hey Haley, why don't you say hi to Amy?" She had a fake smile on her face to put the child at ease. Of course Haley wasn't buying this. _

"_Hello Haley Marie, I am Amy Ferrah Fowler, your brother's friend. It is a pleasure to meet you." Her tone was robotic._

_Haley looked this new woman up and down with a scrutinizing eye before a sweet smile appeared on her face. "You have a regrettably large head! I would very much like to hat it!" _

"_Haley!" Leonard exclaimed. _

_Sheldon gave Haley one of those 'we are going to discuss this later' looks and turned to Amy "I do apologize for her behavior."_

_Before Sheldon could grill into her, Haley set her skateboard beside the chair and took a few steps back. "Well well look at the time. It was a pleasure meeting you, but I must go to my room, you see I am currently investigating words that start with the letter M." and with that she disappeared down the hall. _

_Amy blinked "Was she quoting Alice in Wonderland?" _

"_Yes. She does that from time to time, much to my displeasure. I blame our mother." Sheldon sat down in his spot with an annoyed look on his face. After a few minutes of silence he found himself on his feet again "If you will excuse me. I will be right back." _

_Sheldon then headed down the hall. _

_Penny sat down on the chair arm and leaned forward towards Amy "Don't take it personally. Haley just needs to get to know you better." _

_Amy simply nodded at Penny's words. It would be the first of many encounters with the mischievous blonde child. _

_0000_

Haley had hoped that a few hours of sleep would have made her feel better, but she'd be wrong once again. It was a whole night of waking up in sweat or freezing cold, uncontrollable shaking with a constant migraine that Tylenol extra strength couldn't help. Raising her head from her pillow, she looked at the clock that sat on her bedside table. To Haley's surprise it was going on one in the afternoon, and her brother had yet to try and wake her. Slowly slipping from her bed, she grabbed a hair tie from her dresser and put her hair in a messy bun. _'God I wish I didn't have another damn appointment with Bev today. Maybe I could get off by telling Sheldon I'm sick." _She thought to herself. It wasn't a lie. This ill feeling had been increasing for the past week, and wasn't getting better.

"_He's not stupid. He'll know what you're experiencing is withdrawal symptoms." What could only be assumed as "Cassie", answered her. _

"_I'm not withdrawing from anything. I've only done Meth, Acid, and Ecstasy a couple times and mostly I drank and smoked weed, but not enough to be sick like this. I'm not an addict." _She argued against herself, but then she found her mind wondering to other possibilities. "_How do you know that you don't? Besides we all know it makes his face fade away when we do it. That's why we started it in the first place." _

She hated feeling this low, and desperately wanted to go away and forget all these issues that she didn't want to face. Before she could reason with herself to this was not the answer, she found herself desperately searching through her clothes drawers to find an outfit suitable to wear that day. If Haley wasn't going to cure this problem, Cassie would.

0000

Leonard and Amy were sitting on the couch watching TV when Haley walked into the front room with her board in hand. Taking a double glance, Leonard paused the DVD they were watching and looked at her "What are you wearing?"

She looked down at the cut up Marilyn Manson shirt, short shorts and black fishnet tights that she wore with a pair of black converse; and simply shrugged "Felt like wearing something different. Where's my brother?"

"He went to the university to work on some stuff. Told us to look after you." Leonard set the remote down beside him and crossed his arms, studying her. "Where are you going?"

Haley leaned against the fridge and she crossed her own arms, as if challenging him "Skate park, I need some fresh air."

"Wearing that?" Amy spoke "I hate to interrupt, but it hardly seems like that attire would be suitable for the type of activity you claim to be heading to engage in."

"_She might think she's smart, but we all know we're better." _"All my jeans are dirty…"

Before Leonard could point out the impossibility of that due to the fact that Sheldon routinely does laundry every Saturday (it was only Monday), Haley grabbed a can of Mountain Dew from the fridge and headed towards the door "Well I'll be back…"

"You have an appointment with my mom at five…" Leonard called.

"I know…" and with that she was gone. Leonard held his head in frustration. "Do you think she's telling the truth? That she's just going to go skateboarding?"

Amy put a hand on his shoulder "I do believe that is where she is going…." there was a pregnant pause before she continued "but you really need to pay closer attention…"

Leonard looked at her confused "What do you mean?"

"That wasn't Haley who left…."

Leonard cursed as he pulled out his cell phone "Damn it. This is great. Now I have to let Sheldon know I let Cassie out of the prison…"

"No use worrying him even more than he already is…lets just go get her in a while." Amy took his cell phone from his hand and set it on the table "If we all keep doing this to her, caging her like an animal, she's going to end up running off for good, or who knows what else."

"And what makes you think that?"

"Simple…you tell a teenager that they are forbidden to do something, they'll go behind your back and do it anyways."

0000

"Holy shit. If it isn't Haley…" She heard the familiar voice mention her name, well Haley's name anyways. Turning her head she saw Tyson, Danny, and Ben standing off to the side of the ramps, staring at her. She finished the trick she originally intended on doing - a simple ollie air walk, then rode over to them, making note to not make eye contact with Ben.

"Wow, aren't you that friend of Lexi's that wrote all that stuff on a napkin that one night that tried to explain some science law with drawing that diagram and math problem?"

"Actually it was Charles's Law, it's an experimental law explaining how gases tend to expand when heated…" She cursed herself like Haley always did when she let her real intelligence slip. "But I was totally drunk when I did that…"

" where the hell have you been?" Tyson asked "I heard from Lex that like, I lot of shit went down and your dad pretty much has you on house arrest…"

"Yeah well I managed to get out for a bit." She grinned mischievously. Cassie was glad that they were here. The perfect people to help her and Haley with their little problem.

"Hey Ty, I was wondering, do you have anything on you to put a person at ease, so to speak?"

"Weed?"

Cassie shook her head "No I'll get caught with that. Hell I just need something…to take my mind off everything…"

Tyson thought for a moment "Well I got some Superman in my car…"

Cassie nodded remembering what Superman actually was "Sure, whatever. I'll take some.. Just don't tell Lexi. She might rat me out to my brother, and I'll be fucked."

"No problem. I'll be right back." With that Tyson walked off and Cassie waited impatiently. Haley would thank her for this later. She wanted a way to forget about what she was feeling towards Aaron, well Cassie always had the solution.

_0000_

Leonard and Amy were just about to head out to pick Haley up when she walked in, closing the door behind her quietly.

"Hey, we were just coming to get you." Leonard was breathing a sigh of relief in his head at that moment. "Did you have fun?"

She put her skateboard down against the wall and looked around. "Actually…I don't remember. It was like I just woke up…and I was there…"

"We figured that you weren't….well you…" Amy studied the lost expression on her face. The way she rubbed her arm nervously, and tried to keep her composure in front of the two of them. They weren't Sheldon. She couldn't show weakness in front of Leonard and Amy. "I'm going to my room to lay down. I don't feel well…" She kept her head down, feeling her eyes well with tears. "Wake me up when your mom comes…" Haley choked as she made a beeline down the hall to her room. Meanwhile the other two sat in the living room, unsure of what more they could possibly do.

0000

"How have you been feeling the past couple days Haley?" Beverly asked later that afternoon, after she got done asking Haley a series of other questions beforehand. The signs of either alcohol or drug withdrawal were obvious as she watched Haley try to control the tremors her body was experiencing.

"I feel sick all the time lately, and I can't sleep. I don't think the medicine is working…"

"Well the serious sleep deprivation is a major issue." Beverly concluded as she wrote a few notes on her notepad. She then carefully set her pen down and removed her glasses, looking at Haley "Sweetie, when was the last time you drank alcohol?"

Haley leaned forward, running her hands nervously through her hair. "I don't know. A couple weeks. Haven't been able to sneak some from my supplier." She laughed nervously.

"Would that be Penny?" Bev arched an eyebrow at her.

Haley nodded "Yeah, but since they found out about me, the supply dried up…"

"And now you're going through withdrawal…"

She shook her head quickly "I'm not an addict. I drunk because I liked it. Not because I had to…I could stop whenever I want to…." She paused "I just don't feel like doing so at this time."

"Lack of sleep, Nausea, fever, abdominal pains, the tremors you are currently experiencing…they are all signs an addict goes through when their drug or drink is cut off."

Haley got up from the couch and began pacing back and forth. Beverly could tell her words upset the girl. "I'm not an addict. Do you ever think that maybe I drink all the time and do drugs just to, oh I don't know have fun? I'm not the only kid I know who does it."

"You are correct Haley, but in your case I believe you do it to get rid of thoughts you wish you didn't have."

'_Too close…' _Haley's mind screamed, but she played it off coolly. "Oh yeah? And what sort of thoughts are we talking about?"

Haley's increased breathing and rapid flow of speech told Beverly that she was right on the money with this hypothesis. Though it wasn't completely a hypothesis, rather seeing the similarities between Haley, and a girl Beverly treated fifteen years ago. A girl that pained Beverly to think about so she simply blocked it out, until Sheldon Cooper placed a phone call to her a few months ago asking her to help his sister.

"The shame? Or is it the hurt and the pain?" Haley continued.

Beverly sighed sadly "No Haley. I'm talking about how you actually have feelings for Aaron. You hated him for everything he put you through, but you also care about him. It's these feelings you're hiding. That you are trying to block out."

Haley felt bile rising in her throat at that moment. _"she knows…she knows just how fucked up you are…" _"I can't hear this shit right now…it's not true.." She grabbed her journal from the couch and stormed off to her room, slamming the door just as Sheldon came back from work. He blinked a few times. "Am I right to assume that today's session did not go well?"

Beverly shook her head "No. I believe it did."

Sheldon looked from Beverly then to Haley's bedroom door, and then back to Beverly "Then why did she storm off to her room?"

"I believe I hit a sensitive subject, well more so a truth."

Sheldon placed his messenger bag down on the floor and sat down in his spot "I see. What was this so called 'truth'?"

"I honestly would not know where to begin to tell you." _' A form of Stockholm Syndrome? It's a definite possibility.' _

0000

After Haley slammed her bedroom door shut she walked over to her bed and threw herself down onto it. "_Probably telling your brother that your in love with the guy who raped you."_

She hit her head with the palms of her hands a few times "No I don't."

"_It's such a shame. A girl almost as brilliant as her brother, wastes her intelligence. Now you're nothing but an alcoholic, psychotic, junkie. You may have fooled everyone else about what you really know, but we know you do it on purpose, in order to hide." _

"I'm not a junkie…I try it sometimes. I haven't done that in almost a month." She whispered angrily, so Beverly and Sheldon wouldn't hear her argue with the man inside her head.

"_Then what's in your pocket?" _He let out a laugh.

Haley reached into her shorts expecting to find lint. When she felt the bumpy baggy, her heart skipped a beat. Pulling it out of her jeans, she lifted it over her head to inspect it. Sure enough it was a small plastic bag filled with pink capsules….

"_And contrariwise, what it is it wouldn't be"_  
><em>"And what it wouldn't be it would"<em>  
><em>"You see?"<em>

**(It took a while to get the muse to finish this chapter! The next chapter (The Valley of the Dolls) is going to be one of Haley's journal entries. If you have any ideas on where everything should go from here let me know! I love taking everyone's idea's into consideration! Thanks for reading! Don't worry the next chapter will be out this weekend! ) **


	30. White Rabbit

(Sorry everyone for how long this update took! I only just got my computer fixed ok enough to start writing again. I will eventually be going through the story and correcting it, but not until I get all the kinks in my computer worked out. Till then, you just have to deal with punctuation errors every now and then. This chapter is written as journal entries of Haley's, and her other personalities as well. I changed the title of the chapter that I was originally going to use.)

_'Multiples are born, the majority of them, creatively brilliant. But for those stripped bare by child abuse, the brilliance is fractured, hidden from view."_ ~ When Rabbit Howls

**Chapter Thirty: White Rabbit**

One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small

And the ones that mother gives you, don't do anything at all  
>Go ask Alice, when she's ten feet tall<br>And if you go chasing rabbits, and you know you're going to fall

Tell 'em a hookah-smoking caterpillar has given you the call  
>And call Alice, when she was just small<br>When the men on the chessboard get up and tell you where to go

And you've just had some kind of mushroom, and your mind is moving low  
>Go ask Alice, I think she'll know<br>When logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead

And the white knight is talking backwards

And the red queen's off with her head

Remember what the dormouse said

Feed your head, feed your head

**~ Jefferson Airplane**

_July 26th 2015,_

_Haley can't admit that she needs me. I'm the one that keeps her going. We all work together to keep Haley running as normal as possible. Well, we did anyways. All was perfect until that damn Aaron showed back up seven months ago. _

_**How could she fall in love with him? **_

_Tink will always hate him with a seething passion. You see it was Tink that he repeatedly hurt, not Haley nor I. _

_I have always remained indifferent towards the guy. What can i say? I love sex and Aaron's domineering behavior instantly had me. Yeah, I know; I'm nothing but a masochist. But hey, at least I got her through the worst of it. Haley is the shell. Tink is what she would have been, had things been different. The female version of her brother in most aspects._

_I am what she needed to become in order to survive. _

A week later

_August 2nd 2015,_

_I try not to freak out when I read entries that I don't remember writing. Then again, after finding a baggy full of LSD that I (or shall I say Cassie) apparently bought, nothing seems to surprise me as of late. Curiosity was what drove me to test the merchandise I was holding. I know that no amount of drugs in the world can suppress the feelings that I harbor for the person I should loath with a passion, but it's nice to forget. I need an upper to get me out of bed, then a downer in order to finally pass out despite the chaos in my mind. Falling into a haze of colors and contentment. Do you ever wonder what it feels to be pulled in so many directions. I know what's me and what's not, but it doesn't make this any less easy. I know the part that has feelings for Aaron isn't either Cassie or Tink...it's me. Is it crazy that my mind completely screws up the moment he is arrested? Or that the song "Over and over." keeps constantly playing in my head? _

_ Sheldon is, well not that Sheldon I'm used to. My brother used to care less about what I am thinking and why I do this and why I do think that. Now it's like I can't get him to stop badgering me about everything. He let Beverly put me on Klonopin in hopes it would curb my anxiety. No such luck. He won't stop asking questions! The weirdest of them all being "Why do you look so conflicted?" Sheldon isn't supposed to be good at reading emotions! I can't just come out and say "Well Shelly, I'm pretty fucked up. You see, I'm in love with Aaron Meloy. Yes, I deserve that look of disgust, thanks much." - Yeah, friggin right! _

_ Ok, call me paranoid, but this is really putting me on edge. With Beverly prodding around in my head, who knows what she has already discovered. She already knows that I'm not as 'typical' as I act. Caught me off guard when she gave me an IQ test and I got a 70, well this time anyways. Sheldon had me tested when I was like eight and it was 100. Then in school I got an 85. Oh and then there was that one time I took it, I got a 182 (I had those results thoroughly destroyed. See the pattern?) Needless to say Bev commented that it "Takes a real genius to purposely flunk an intelligence quotient test..." _

_ Not that I'm in denial. It's just...if my brother ever knew that I'm almost as smart as him, he'd first be pissed that I pretended to be what he considers a 'common simpleton.' (mind you he never actually called me stupid. It has always been the look in his face that gave me that impression.). Sheldon would be greatly disappointed that I want to sing and play my guitar and skateboard. Not try to get into college by the time I'm fourteen (even that would be a shame to him since he started college at eleven). _

_ Aside from having one foot in the gutter and the other in the grave. I guess things are going alright for everyone else. School starts in less than a month - I seriously wish I could just drop out and run away. _

_ Lexi called a few times. Ignored them. I just really don't feel like talking this week to anyone..._

_ Bernadette used to always tell me that the truth would set you free, but I'm starting to think it was just the nice thing to tell a then innocent eight year old girl..._


	31. Yellow Angels

(Sorry for the absence. I recently moved again and just got internet back at my house. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter, I read another book on MPD called '_The Flock' _ that was written by the multiple Joan Francis Casey herself. I must say reading such an autobiography has given me an even greater sense of writing a character who is a multiple. )

**Chapter thirty-one: Yellow Angels**

_I come to still in the chair  
>As yellow angels step with care<br>My spinal cord still sending shocks  
><em>_**But my life's in need of repair  
>There's got to be more than this<br>I don't want to just exist!**__  
>As a hollow house for bones<br>More alone every minute  
>Is there a place where I can start again?<br>Wake up, you're sleeping  
>Wake up, you're sleeping behind the wheel<em>

_~Senses Fail_

Sheldon was getting ready to head home from Caltech. It was well past nine o clock, but getting lost in his work towards The Nobel Peace Prize was the only aspect of his life that was on track at this point. Amy and Leonard's words still rung in his ears from the night before.

"_Sheldon...Haley is sick...really sick." Amy helplessly began to explain._

_"She is perfectly fine. Dr. Hofstadter is helping her..." He began but Leonard stepped in and cut him off. _

_"Haven't you seen her arms? The look in her eyes? The fact that she left this house a few hours earlier as Cassie? My God Sheldon, are you really that blind?" _

He ran a hand anxiously through his hair as he pried himself away from his dry erase board, sitting down in front of his computer. He logged onto Facebook to find a message from Missy.

_**Melissa Cooper:**__ What the hell is going on Shelly? What's all this talk on Haley's Facebook about some Aaron boy getting sent to jail and that it's her fault? We've heard some things and we're trying to get a hold of you. _

"What fresh hell is this?" He cursed to himself as he clicked off the message and scrolled to his younger sisters' page. He went back to a couple of months ago and scrolled down her wall. A comment from Aaron was still on her wall from before he was arrested. Reading the lines to a song he often heard Haley listen to, his blood ran cold.

_**Aaron Meloy: **__Infatuation has strangled me 's no resisting the tangled web of your secret fantasy.A strange sensation is falling over me. I may be blind, but I can see Your kiss will ruin me. _

It took Sheldon a few minutes to pry his eyes away from the wall post. Now he understood why Penny told him to refrain from "Facebook stalking" his sisters' profile. She was right. He definitely found things he did not like. Scrolling up the page he found more recent posts.

_**Haley Marie Cooper: **__"It seems that no matter how deep I bury that shit, someone always digs it up." (Sunday, August 2nd 2015) (Eight people like this)_

_**Alexis "Lex" Manning : **__Don't forget "Bad shit happens to greedy whores!" Don't let it get to you! Remember, I got your back chicka! Come hang out tonight! _

_**Haley Marie Cooper: **__It's like "hmm what would Gemma do?" LOL Wish I could, but I think that would throw my bro into a spaze._

_**Alexis "Lex" Manning: **__Gemma would curb stomp that skank. _

_**Tyson Jankovski: **__Is this about that shit Hannah was talking about? Is it true? I mean what all happened with her brother and you? BTW you could seriously curb stomp that bitch Hal! Just like that one skank you took out at the skate park!_

Sheldon noticed that neither Haley nor Lexi had answered the question. Just liked the comment. He furrowed his brow in confusion. _"I don't understand what Missy is concerned about? Who on earth is Gemma? _He quickly shook the thought off and continued to read.

_**Haley Marie Cooper: "**__Damn, Damn, Damn, What I'd do to have you Here, here, here  
>I wish you were here. Damn, Damn, Damn What I'd do to have you. Near, near, near<br>I wish you were here..." (Monday, August 3rd 2015)_

_**Alexis "Lex" Manning: **__You and I know that cannot be. O_o_

_**Haley Marie Cooper: **__This is so wrong. I shouldn't be feeling like this. _

_**Hannah Meloy: **__Sounds like guilt to me. Oh by the way. Aaron says he loves and misses you. That he's sorry he raped you (which we all know is a lie). _

_**Alexis "Lex" Manning: **__I know where you live Hannah...remember that. _

He froze at Hannah's comment, knowing now exactly what Missy was referring to. "This is an utter disaster. Now we'll have to deal with George and Missy." He said aloud to himself. Just then Haley posted a new status.

_**Haley Marie Cooper:**__ I can't take it, I'm battered and broken, abandoned forever!  
>It's round and round and round we go. Somebody please let me know just what it takes to being; to start all over again. The truth has finally shown its face. How long have I been in this place? <em>_**I never had a choice, you blinded me and stole my voice! I will see you soon...**__ (Five minutes ago via Mobile)_

_**Sheldon Lee Cooper: **__I will be home within the hour. We need to discuss some issues at hand. I'd recommend you head back to the apartment this instant. (A few seconds ago)_

_0000_

Meanwhile

It was Tuesday, which meant that dinner was at the Cheesecake Factory that night. Penny emerged from the kitchen with someone's order when she noticed Haley sitting at one of the tables with the hood up, listening to her Ipod. The _Sons of Anarchy_ reaper on her hoodie was a dead give away. She quickly served the food to table sixteen and walked over to her. " Hey Haley..whatcha doing here so late? The guys left like two hours ago, and Sheldon was a no-show."

Haley looked at Penny with a stare that was not her normal. A look that said she had no real relationship with this woman who was trying to talk to her. Penny drew in a breath as she somehow could tell this wasn't Haley who was present. Her first instinct was to get on the phone and make an emergency call to Mrs. Hofstadter. Instead she gave the stranger in front of her a smile. "Hey...Cassie is it?"

She arched an eyebrow and shook her head "You must be the woman two of the younger kids talk so often about..."

'The younger two?" Penny found herself sitting down in front of her with a look of confusion on her face.

She nodded at her with a look a slight sympathy as she continued "I am neither Cassie, nor Haley or Tink. I'm afraid this is our first time meeting..."

Despite the disapproving glare the manager gave her, Penny pressed the stranger for more "Who are you then?"

"I like to call myself Annabel."

_'You have got to be shitting me. Another one.' "_How old are you?"

"Same age as Haley, though my intelligence far exceeds her. Actually it's more like I'm what she likes to hide about herself. ...I know everything about the girls. Even the dirty little secrets..."

"Why show yourself now though? I mean Haley has been in therapy for months...we never seen you before..."

Annabel took a pack of cigarettes out of her hoodie and removed one, lighting it. "Because shit is about to go down really soon. We all share this body, Haley can't take much more. She's about to crack. When she does we all will burn."

Then within a few seconds, Penny saw Annabel transform back into Haley who looked around the restaurant in confusion. When Penny reached out to touch her hand, she jerked it back with a look of horror on her face. "I did it again didn't I?"

"Haley...it's ok..." She began but Haley cut her off as put out the cigarette in the ashtray and pushed her chair away from the table, practically leaping to her feet. "No. It's not ok! It never will be." Just then her cell phone began wailing a Coheed and Cambria song. She glanced down at it and sighed "I gotta go. You never saw me."

Penny watched helplessly as the reaper on Haley's hoodie disappeared out the door. Her hand instinctively went for her cell phone, but something made her stop herself. She didn't know what to do; be the snitch to rat her out. Tell her brother of this Annabel and heed her warning, or let Haley just disappear into the night?

0000

Amy had offered to pick Sheldon up from the university. When he got into the car she automatically knew something was up. "By the look of the tenseness in your shoulders I would assume that you have had a 'bad day'?"

"Not at all. I'm slowly making progress in my research. I hardly think that would be considered a bad thing."

"I wasn't referring to your work Sheldon. You have been upset since Leonard and I discussed our concerns about Haley with you." Amy noticed his eye twitch.

"My sister will be fine. She has me."

She felt so bad for her ex at this point. Sheldon loved schedule and routine, this was obvious, but what he liked most was having control of any situation. With Haley she knew that he felt he had no control over the things that happened to her, though he should have. It was his responsibility, and that was what tore him apart. The more she saw him try to assert his dominance as the adult, the more Haley pulled away. Amy couldn't put her finger on it, but it almost seemed as though Haley felt undeserving and guilty of the attention her brother gave her. "I know she does. Have you ever considered that she feels unfit to be your sister?"

"Why would she think such nonsense? Missy and George are as my mother used to say "as dumb as pond water." If anything, she is more fit than my twin ..."

"Haley has experienced things that you will never be able to comprehend. They changed her into something even she doesn't understand. She feels beneath you and unworthy due to circumstances out of her control."

Sheldon looked at her with his famous frown of puzzlement "I do not understand. I have never said such things to her."

Amy let out a sigh "You don't have to. It took you thirty-five years to lose your virginity. You can't lie to save your life. You do everything right. To her you are the perfect person. Something she feels she will never be... she feels if you knew everything, you'd despise her as much as she does herself..."

"Since when have you become an expert at this...sort of thing?"

Amy just shrugged "After everything came out, I felt guilty that I assumed she was just a typical spoiled child acting out so I did extensive research..."

Pulling up in front of the apartment building, Sheldon thanked Amy and quietly got out of the car and watched her drive off. His phone started to buzz when he reached his door. Reaching into his pocket, he looked to see he had a Facebook message. Haley had written back on the comment he wrote on her status.

_**Haley Marie Cooper:**__ I've said goodbye so many times in my life. I'm surprised it's still so hard for me to see that I should start living my life or I will die unfulfilled and empty. (A minute ago via mobile)_

Sheldon unlocked the door to the apartment and went inside. Quietly closing the door behind him, he set his messenger bag on the couch and immediately headed down the hall. Opening Haley's bedroom door, he was greeted with silence. She wasn't there.

0000

It took a whole shit load of convincing on Haley's part for Tyson to let her use his Camaro. Luckily she was gifted with Georges' silver tongue. strumming her fingers on the steering wheel, she sang along to a _Bullet for my Valentine_ song as she rode the streets of Pasadena at 10 o-clock at night. "_I'm coming home. I've been gone for far too long. Do you remembering me at all? I'm leaving. Have I fucked things up again? I'm dreaming  
>Too much time without you spent! It hurts! Wounds so sore! Now I'm torn. Now I'm torn..."<em>

She glanced at the phone that lay on the passenger's seat as it started ringing again. The sixth time within ten minutes. She knew it was Sheldon, but she couldn't bring herself to answer it. How would she ever explain what was going through her head at that point? Lighting the last cigarette in her pack Haley found herself parked on the opposite street of the county jail. Getting out of the car she anxiously ran a hand through her hair as she sat on the hood.

"_ He's still in there..." _She heard Cassie say.

"I know. Why am I here?" Haley found herself talking back to the other person who thrived inside of her.

"_You know." _

Haley couldn't stop the tears of guilt, shame, and pain that ran down her cheeks. Burying her face in hand hands, she failed to notice Amy Farrah Fowler's car slow down as it passed her.

(**Sorry the chapter wasn't as long as they normally are, and that I left a cliffhanger. I promise a much longer next chapter!)**


	32. A Gilded Masquerade

**(Hey everyone! Sorry for my absence! I've been working on a Harry Potter fanfiction and have been planning on making an American Horror Story**

** fiction , but I'm back to continue on! Obviously Haley is still**

**struggling with her multiple personalities. The other two Cooper siblings will be making another appearance.**** )**

**Chapter thirty-two:"A Gilded Masquerade"**

**As the water drips from the sky, I start to wonder.**  
><strong>If I'm still alive then I have to find the answer.<strong>  
><strong>Could it be that it was a dream, and I'm still beside her?<strong>  
><strong>Right before my eyes such a big surprise, the water stops.<strong>

**Wickedness will rain, and drown us in her.**  
><strong>Sorrow (in her thoughts)<strong>  
><strong>If I hope to survive, I must think faster.<strong>  
><strong>I'm losing ground.<strong>  
><strong>Should I pull back the veil.<strong>  
><strong>You had the best of me (now taste the worst).<strong>  
><strong>All that glimmers is not gold.<strong>

**I may be wrong but your brilliance is my darkness.**  
><strong>You had me convinced that together we could fly<strong>  
><strong>Until I started scratching at the surface.<strong>  
><strong>And your body is your masquerade.<strong>  
><strong>Your body is an illness.<strong>

**Temples crashing down all around me.**  
><strong>Panic clears the streets<strong>  
><strong>The golden city falls.<strong>  
><strong>And with it our lives go up in flames.<strong>

**Should I pull back the veil?**  
><strong>You had the best of me (now taste the worst).<strong>  
><strong>All that glimmers is not gold.<strong>  
><strong><br>**

**~Alesana**

Amy was heading back to her apartment when she noticed a very familiar blonde girl sitting atop of a black Camero smoking a cigarette. She didn't need to

do a double take, Amy knew automatically who it was as she parked a few cars down. '_Should I text Sheldon and let him know?' _She thought for a moment, but

decided against it for the time being as she walked over to her. "Haley?" Amy spoke cautiously. As of late it was hard figuring out when Haley was herself, or

if she was one of the others. There was an obviously delay as she slowly turned to look at her. "What are you doing here?" She asked in an unusually airy

voice, as she took a drag of her cigarette.

Amy looked at her with worry. '_Why is she just sitting in front of the jail. It can't be because he's there...that's just...' _Amy paused her train of thought and quietly

observed the lost expression on Haley's face.

"Do you think it's crazy..." Haley breathed slowly as she closed her eyes " To actually miss hearing his fucking voice?"

Amy blinked "I don't think it's necessarily sane..." She paused, shifting awkwardly in place "If the 'him' in question is the person who is currently locked away in

this correctional facility, you have me confused. How could you miss someone who hurt you so much..."

Haley could tell that Amy felt uncomfortable; she didn't even know why she continued to spill these horrendous secrets to a female version of her brother.

'_Maybe this is the closest I'll ever get to confessing my sins to him...' _"I feel like I'm dying inside...I'm completely fucked up because of him...and I hate him, but

I need him. I can't function without him and now I feel like everything is falling apart. _I'm _falling apart." Haley rambled on "Ames, I love him. I hate him, but I

love him and that makes me a disgusting little slut..."

"Haley, you might think that's what you are feeling well. He instilled those beliefs in your head to manipulate you." Amy leaned against the car awkwardly as

she straightened her tweed skirt.

"No. I know what I'm feeling...is me, and that's whats so fucking horrible..." Her eyes were planted to the ground as she tried to control tears from falling.

"I dropped Sheldon off at the apartment in order to discuss some things with you..."

"The emails from Missy I suspect...I told him..." She took in a ragged breath. "I told him everyone will find out and life will go to hell in a hand basket."

"Now, you don't know that's the reason..." Amy sensed how cagey she was acting. She could tell this kid wanted nothing more than to bolt to the next county.

The fact that she borrowed her friends car didn't argue against theory.

Haley looked at her and laughed "_OH, _Amy..." The change in the voice made Amy's head snap up to observe her in disdain. It was then she realized that Haley

had left. She remained silent as the new personality continued speaking to her. " You're so naïve, or just too afraid to tell her the truth. Everybody knows...

Haley can tell by the way they look at her..."

"Cassie..." Amy began she paused for a moment to make sure her personality guess was correct.

"Haley will be alright. She has _us _to get her through this..." Cassie flicked her cigarette butt into the street and looked at Amy with scrutiny. "Did you ever stop

to think that maybe Haley doesn't want to get through this?"

Once again Amy noticed the change in body expression and tone. This was someone entirely new. _'She just changed personalities three times within five _

_minutes. What does she mean?' _"What are you trying to say?"

"I think you know what I'm trying to say Amy...honestly it's quite annoying when you act ignorant."

"Haley...how about we head back to the house...I think you should talk to Sheldon..."

She rolled her eyes as she saw Amy pull out her ringing cell phone "Really? Gonna tattle on us? How..._mature..."_

"It's...it's Sheldon..." She looked at Haley with pleading eyes "I have to answer..."

Haley laughed at her "Go ahead and answer it. We'll be gone before he can get Leonard to take him out here, and I _highly _doubt you are strong enough to

hold us down..."

"What?!" Amy blinked in shock as the phone stopped ringing, only to start up again when he called a second time. "Go where? Haley or Cassie, or whoever

you currently are..."

She shrugged "Wherever the hell I want...far away..." The shift back to Haley was almost fluid and unrecognizable. She swallowed hard and felt her stomach

drop out from under her when she heard the phone ring once again.

Amy answered the phone the third time Sheldon called, walking onto the sidewalk. "I found her...No..." Haley noticed that her voice dropped a few registers in

attempt to not be overheard. Unfortunately for Amy, Haley had her brothers' damned Vulcan hearing.

"I think she's has completely lost touch with reality..." Amy whispered.

_"They're plotting on locking you in a psych ward you idiot...get the hell outta here!" _A voice screamed to Haley and her mouth suddenly felt dry. "_No..." _She thought

as she slipped quietly into the car and started the engine, speeding off as fast as she possibly could from the person who enslaved and corrupted her mind, as

well as the only ray of hope in diminishing the impending meltdown.

0000

Haley stomped on the breaks as soon as she felt she had ran far enough away from Amy and her do good nature. Running a hand through her hair, she

looked at herself in the rear view mirror and attempted to keep her black eyeliner from running down her cheeks. Her phone buzzed in the passengers seat

again. She didn't even have to look to know who it was, but she made herself listen to the voice mail anyways.

"Where are you? Amy Farrah Fowler just called and said you are possibly having a nervous breakdown..."

Haley rolled her eyes "Seriously? Amy...what a douche..." She grumbled aloud to herself, and continued to listen.

"Please Haley...stop running and come home."

"I'm sorry..." She wiped more tears from her eyes as she deleted the message with a press of a button and threw it down on the seat. _"Gotta keep going..."_

She reached for her phone on impulse and typed a quick text.

** Haley**_: Louise ...I gotta get out of here and I need you with me. You game?_

A few minutes later her phone started buzzing and she glanced down at it quickly, while trying to keep focused on the road

_**Alexis: **Aren't I always Thelma?_

Taking a deep breath, she sped off, heading further and further beyond the city limits.

0000

Leonard came home to find Sheldon pacing the living room frantically. He had gotten a call from Amy, so he knew what was going down before he walked

through the door. "No word from her?" Penny was sitting on the couch with her phone out, when Sheldon didn't answer Leonard, she looked up at him and

shook her head. "No...the only thing I have found is a status she posted right after she bailed on Amy, and that was like three hours ago..." She

handed him the phone and Leonard squinted his eyes to read what was written. He sighed heavily. "Shit..."

_ **Haley Marie Cooper**: "I wanna hide the truth. I wanna shelter you, But with the beast inside. There's nowhere we can hide_

_Curtain's call, Is the last of all. When the lights fade out All the sinners crawl. So they dug your grave, And the masquerade will come calling out at the mess _

_you've made. Don't wanna let you down, But I am hell bound. Though this is all for you, Don't wanna hide the truth_

_No matter what we breed. We still are made of greed. This is my kingdom come. This is my kingdom come. When you feel my heat, look into my eyes_

_It's where my demons hide. It's where my demons hide. Don't get too close. It's dark inside. It's where my demons hide..." (3 Hours ago)_

"She's not safe out there in her state of mind..." Sheldon finally spoke in a broken tone as he fiddled with his cell phone "I don't understand why she doesn't

answer."

"Fuck fuck fuck..." Penny cursed loudly as she scrolled her phone "She just updated her status again guys..."

Sheldon turned on his heel and grabbed the phone from her hand, reading what she was panicking about

_**Haley Marie Cooper: **I can't erase the memories, And I can't burn the whole place down. __No this ain't nothing, __nothing but a goodbye town._

_To hell if I'm sticking around. Gotta find a way to finally get out,out of this goodbye town...I'm out of this town. So out of this town.." (3 minutes ago, near _

_Las Vegas via __mobile)_

"Leonard..." Sheldon spoke in frantic tones, as he set the phone down on his desk. Panic was foreign to him; he couldn't explain the tight feeling in his chest.

Throwing logic and reasoning out the window he grabbed his coat off his swivel chair and bolted to the door, grabbing Leonard's car keys from the cup by the

door as he left. Leonard blinked slightly before he hopped to his feet "Shit...SHELDON WAIT UP!" He looked to Penny "If she tries to contact you, let us know."

"Of course sweetie...now go catch up to him before he takes off without you!"

Leonard sped down the stairs and luckily caught up to Sheldon just as he was about to get in the drivers seat. "Sheldon, wait. I'll drive you. "

Sheldon looked at him in a look of desperation. "We must hurry. She is already in Las Vegas..."

"Wait, what? How...shit..." Leonard cursed loudly as he traded places with Sheldon and started the car up. "Don't worry...we'll get her." He paused for a

moment to realize that this was a side of Sheldon he had never seen in all the years he had known him. In the past few months Sheldon had completely

transformed into a fully capable human being, and it pained Leonard to know that a horrible event to be the catalyst.

"Leonard..." Sheldon spoke after a long silence.

"Yeah buddy?"

"Is this all my fault? I find myself replaying the past five years in my head, and I can't help thinking that I should have noticed something. I should have

been more cautious, and now Haley's life is in ruins and its because I was too focused on my own needs before hers..."

Leonard turned his head to look at him "No, this isn't your fault. " Looking back at the road ahead, he gripped the steering wheel a bit tighter "No one ever

really believes something like this can happen to their family...until it does. It's a shitty world Sheldon, and it took you thirty-five years to find that out. You

Can't blame yourself though...whatever you do, you can't break. That little girl needs you to be the strong person she has always known..."

"The person she knew was a living machine..." He replied gloomily. "I can't go back to that...not anymore..."

"I'm not asking that, and you weren't a living machine, we just joke. " Leonard looked over at him about to explain, but was interrupted when his phone

went off. He grabbed it and saw it was Penny calling. "Just a second Sheldon..." He answered the phone "Hey Pen..." Leonard began but was immediately

cut off. "What?! They're at the apartment...NOW? Christ...just stall them okay?"

Sheldon looked at him wearily "Who was that?"

"Penny...Missy and George are there..." He noticed Sheldon's eye twitch as he sighed angrily. "Haley failed to monitor what was written on her Facebook and

Missy read some messages..."

"Penny said she's freaking out wanting to know what's going on..."

"Well she can wait..." He spat in an annoyed voice. Feeling his phone vibrate, he reached into his pocket expecting a call from Penny or Missy. He didn't

expect a text message from Lexi.

_Hey, this is Lexi...I'm with Haley. We're on the strip in Las Vagas...she needs you. That's all I can say now._

_(Well there it is. Sorry its not the best and that I left you guys on a cliffhanger again! I will try to update it soon! _


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